A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
Genesis 2:24 NLT
An invitation to harness the magnetic draw of your differences and blend better with your spouse in life and love.
Where there's a WILL, there's a WAY. . .While a man possesses a unique God-given motivational propensity for exercising a strong will in life, a woman conversely possesses a unique God-given propensity for discerning the appropriate way of life. Through ups and downs, these magnetic tensions have helped husband and wife writing team, Robert and Pamela Crosby, learn to balance, bend, and blend in their marriageto appreciate the balance their differences bring, to bend more appropriately in response to each other, and to move toward a more joyous blend that can only emerge out of two quite different ways somehow turned into one.
Simply put, where there’s a WILL, there’s a WAY.
|Publisher:||Barbour Publishing, Incorporated|
|Product dimensions:||5.00(w) x 7.90(h) x 1.20(d)|
About the Author
ROBERT and PAMELA CROSBY are communicators, ministry leaders, and authors. They have served as pastors at churches in New York, Ohio, Boston and, now, a brand new church plant in downtown Tampa.
Read an Excerpt
The Will of a Man and the Way of a Woman
Balancing & Blending Better Together
By Robert Crosby, Pamela Crosby
Barbour Publishing, Inc.Copyright © 2016 Robert and Pamela Crosby
All rights reserved.
A great marriage is not when the "perfect couple" comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
— Dave Meurer
I wondered if he would even see the note taped to the front door before he left home that morning. My day ahead was full of more dirty diapers, baskets of laundry, sinks full of dishes, and planning for the church event I was helping my husband with. No one asked how I was doing. No one called to check in on my day. I had no other family nearby to have coffee with. I was a young wife and a mom of two toddlers, struggling with more loneliness as a married woman than I ever had when single.
Each day Robert went to a job he thoroughly loved, worked with people who inspired him, and served in a role in which he found purpose and community. Each night he would come home, the front door would fling open, and you'd hear, "Daddy's home!" as the kids went shouting his praises as if Superman had just entered the house. By that time of day, I looked like I had been through a war zone.
Dinner usually included one of Robert's favorite dishes, and typically I prepared it while he enjoyed playtime with his two adorable little blond daughters. The moment dinner was over, the TV news went on. While the "king" caught up on world events, I bathed and put the girls to bed in hopes for just a little alone-with-him time to follow. After the fiftieth "Good night, Mommy," I was ready to cuddle and for some attention of my own.
Finally. The first quiet of my day would arrive.
The moments I looked forward to the most were moments with him, with my husband. Cuddle time on the couch with no little voices interrupting the latest romantic movie or bowl of ice cream or late-night cup of coffee (just because we could!) were among my favorite end-of-the-day highlights. But instead, as I entered the room, there he was ... sprawled out on his favorite seven-foot couch, TV remote in hand, snoring like a monsoon. After all, he had worked hard all day. He was really tired. And soon after, he decided to go to bed.
Thus, came the abrupt end of a few hoped-for romantic moments, not to mention the only adult conversations I would have that day. No shared ice cream treat. No hugs. No real time together. No questions about my day.
The nights had become empty. But the rest of the week was always full — full of church events, youth pastor duties, band practices, training sessions, and before I knew it, a new week had begun that seemed somehow strangely similar to the last one. Honestly, more often than not, I felt more like a maid than a wife, but I kept telling myself it was okay because he was so happy in the world in which he was learning to succeed. After all, he was working so hard. I should be really grateful, right? I tried, but still I was so lonely — so lonely and becoming lonelier. I had never thought of myself one day feeling so lonely in marriage. Marriage and loneliness don't make a good couple. In fact, lonely marriage should be an oxymoron.
What is a wife supposed to do with such feelings? I had so much that I wanted to say to him — so much I needed to say. But I didn't want to be that wife — the nagging wife who was never happy enough. Still, those emotions are a difficult thing to shake. Expectations are powerful. What I wanted to tell him was I needed more "him" in my life and more of "us." I wanted life to be like it was before the "I dos." I wanted a return to the spontaneous, the togetherness, the fewer responsibilities, the flirty responses, the tender touches, the getting "the butterflies" from just being in the same room, the love letters. Was it really all gone? Were we really going to grow or act old so soon? Was there something I could do? If so, what was it?
I was desperate to know.
I thought about it a lot.
I prayed about it.
What to do?
Someone once said, "Until the pain of remaining the same hurts more than the pain of changing, we tend to remain the same." Well, by this point my hurt had reached that place. I had to do something about it. At least I had to try something different.
One thing I had noticed and learned about Robert was that he learned a lot when he read books and manuals. I also noticed that the tone of my angry or whiny voice usually made him tune me right out. I knew I couldn't talk to girlfriends because we went to the same church and he was one of the spiritual leaders there, and that wouldn't go well for anyone. Plus, I was committed to protecting the intimate heart of our marriage and not allowing it to become the focus of girl-time chatter.
I hated feeling more like a housekeeper than a wife. I wanted to be the reason he came home. I wanted him to show me he still cared — really cared — about us. After weeks of wrestling with the issue and with myself, I did it. I wrote it down.
I sat at the table and began to pour my heart out in a way he might understand, on paper. I'd write something, read it, and then just throw it away and start over. Putting these feelings to paper took some practice. Finally, after several attempts, I had what I thought was a letter that spoke his language, while maybe not exactly mine. I tried to keep it short, using fewer words while keeping it to the point — honest but kind, respectful but truthful. Not easy.
I folded it neatly in a business envelope and taped it to the front door.
Then I waited.
Will he actually notice it? I bought him a new shirt and put it in a gift bag to accompany the note. Hopefully that would help him know I really cared. At least gifts had always gotten my attention. I wasn't exactly sure if they would get his. I didn't want him to get mad. I just wanted him to hear my heart.
With everything in place, I went to bed.
Finding the Note
The note taped to the front door I (Robert here) found the next morning was likely an ordinary to-do list from Pamela. Eager to head off to work while she was still sleeping, I slipped the note in my appointment book and set off to meet my day. I'd check the note later. Right now a schedule chockfull of other "responsibilities" wouldn't wait.
Somewhere around lunchtime, I noticed the note again. It had dropped out of my appointment book and lay on my desk, still untouched. When I opened it to take a quick look, the first sentence caught my attention: "Robert, I don't know what has happened to us." I decided I had better give it a full read.
The full note went something like this:
I don't know what's happened to us. The life we're now living, from my view, is no life at all. At least, this is not what I ever thought life would become. It feels like you're more married to your work than you are to me. I'm confused. And I don't know what to do with all that it's causing me to feel.
I've tried in lots of little ways to talk with you about this, but you just aren't hearing me. You're so creative at your work — I wish you would pour some of your creative energy into our home, into our children, into me.
There are times I almost wish your preoccupation with your work were with another woman, so I could tell her to "bug off!" Something in our relationship is dying, and I don't know what to do about it.
Now we have our second baby, and our girls need more than I can give them by myself. They need a daddy, and I need a husband. Robert, I don't know who to turn to.
For the first time in months, Pamela's hurt and disappointment broke through my addictive self-consumption. I suddenly saw myself as a man busy living out his own interests. I felt alarmed by the desperate tone of her note.
Pamela had expressed her frustrations before. But I'd always viewed them as something she would eventually just "get over." This was different, maybe because I now connected the words in this note with the look I'd been seeing on her face — the look I'd been ignoring, a look of hopelessness and pain. Desperation.
I was embarrassed. While helping other people, had I totally overlooked my wife and family? What was I doing? How had I missed it? After all, I was the pastor. Two hundred teenagers and a couple dozen volunteer youth workers came to me for counsel and advice. Couples came to me for marriage counseling, and my files were full of ideas and prescriptions for enriching the marriage relationship.
After reading the note, I knew this was no yellow light. It was bright red.
When does the heart go out of a marriage? When does the connection between a man and a woman turn to conflict? What causes it? And what does it take to restore it?
Magnetic Push and Pull
Just as surely as there is a magnetic force that draws a man and a woman together, there is one that, conversely, can push them apart. Haven't we all watched it happen again and again in other couples' relationships and felt it in our own? Just like the two sides of a magnet, there is one side to the makeup of a man and a woman that is drawn together powerfully, romantically, and relationally. On the flip side, however, there is another aspect to the male and female composition that can forcefully repel them from each other, poles apart.
A young man and woman meet each other, fall in like, and then fall desperately in love. Most of their waking moments are filled with thoughts of the other. They rearrange their schedules just to have more time together, they ask each other questions constantly with great interest, they date, they talk on the phone, they send romantic cards, e-mails, or texts, they hold hands, and they look into each other's eyes. They pursue each other. The love they share and feel seems to be more than enough to overcome any differences they may discover. The magnetic pull draws them toward each other on multiple levels. From their hearts to their hormones, little else is on their minds.
Then something happens.
Somewhere along the way, the differences become more different than he or she ever thought possible. Driving hopes and dreams come to a halt. Expectations are exhausted. Hopes are suspended. Opinions have collided. Priorities have shifted. Desires have dissolved. The walls can seem insurmountable as the magnetic pull turns into magnetic push.
The Will and the Way
The magnetic principle at work that we are talking about is constantly drawing men and women together and then, all too often, driving them apart. It is a principle. We call it the will of a man and the way of a woman. It has to do with understanding the way God created men and women in the first place. Just one look and it is quite clear that we are designed differently, and the differences are more than just anatomical. An even closer look will reveal that men and women are different by design emotionally and even spiritually as well. Understanding and accepting the emotional and spiritual differences is the key to discovering the high purposes and roles in life God intended for both the man and the woman.
The bottom line of the will of a man and the way of a woman is this: a man possesses a unique God-given propensity (i.e., drive) for exercising a strong will in life. This is not to say that all men are "strong-willed"; rather, men are created with a powerful capacity for matters of volition (i.e., the will).
Conversely, a woman possesses a unique God-given propensity for understanding the appropriate ways of life. Similar to the observation of a man's will, a woman has a God-given, unique capacity for considering and responding to the deep emotional dimensions of life and to matters of understanding and discernment.
By now some of you are reading and already saying, "Whoa. Wait a minute. I think you have us reversed. In our case, the wife appears to be the one with the will and the husband with more interest in the way. Are we weird?"
The answer is yes. No, not yes that you are weird, but yes that there are anomalies to this principle that exist. Also, it is important not to confuse personality types, of which there are many, with the soul-centric motivations of the volitional and emotional capacities that undergird the design of men and women.
The will of a man and the way of a woman is a central, God-given, innate motivating drive that exists at the core of our souls. This goes beyond personality styles. When a couple understands the principle of will and way and accepts it, they are well on their way toward discovering the mysterious and magnetic oneness originally intended to be enjoyed in marriage.
This brings us to the first relational practice of the will and the way and the first part of the book: balancing. Moving toward oneness with the person you love involves considering and understanding more of the differences expressed in the will of a man and the way of a woman. Understanding how your different strengths and weaknesses can work together in a complementary fashion is all about balance. This helps build a perspective that adds more purpose to your partnership.
We first began to see the principle of the will and the way at work in our own lives and marriage relationship, over and over again, from early on. Once we began to recognize it at work in a few places, it seemed we could see it almost everywhere. We began to notice it in our extended family and friends — all over the place. But what really caught our attention was when we observed it in one of the most beautiful and meaningful "couple stories" in the Bible — the story of Mary and Joseph.
That's right, the Gospel accounts of God announcing the incarnation to Mary, and then to Joseph, are so revealing — not just in what God said but in the way He said it. It is marvelous and also mysterious. An angel announced and revealed that their marriage would be the place where God's Son would soon emerge. No one in all of history ever received a more amazing, awe-inspiring, or life-altering announcement than this one. Talk about change coming into your lives.
In the next chapter, we will take a closer look at the will and the way in the experiences of Mary and Joseph. We will see how well God knows just how to talk to a man and to a woman and what we can learn from it. We will consider the way this good news was introduced to the world. God did not bring His Son into the world through some elaborate coronation but rather through a simple couple, in the lives of a man and woman. The coming of Jesus wasn't first introduced through some presidential speech; rather, the announcement came in the form of a bit of marriage counseling. A closer look at the manner in which God spoke to and dealt with Mary and Joseph reveals much about what He understands about a man and about a woman, things we believe He wants us to know and understand about each other.
Responding to the Note
When I finished reading Pamela's troubling note that day, I could have simply argued and defended myself. A couple of years earlier, I'm quite sure that's exactly what I would have done. After all, I have so many demands on me, right? My life is full. I'm so busy. So many responsibilities and expectations on me! You know the drill.
Besides, Pamela knew I was going into this type of work when she married me, I reasoned. When I received the note, I could have just rationalized it away. Or I could have attacked her:
What about you?
Remember when you ...?
It drives me nuts whenever you ...!
But none of these "lines" would ever restore anything. I was busted. She had read my mail, and I knew it.
Instead of fighting on, I decided it was time to wise up. So I read the note again, this time slowly and carefully, painful as it was, in order to let the full meaning of it go deep.
Pamela's written words drove home one point loud and clear: our relationship had entered a danger zone. The question now tensing within my stomach was, What am I going to do about this? My will and her way were on a collision course.
As I sat there, thinking and praying, I remembered an old saying: Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So I picked up the phone and called Pamela.
"I read the note," I told her.
"And I really want to talk about it," I continued.
"I don't want to talk," she said. Which I knew meant she really did want to talk, but it wasn't going to be as easy as I might have hoped. She was hurt, deeply so.
Excerpted from The Will of a Man and the Way of a Woman by Robert Crosby, Pamela Crosby. Copyright © 2016 Robert and Pamela Crosby. Excerpted by permission of Barbour Publishing, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Introduction: The Will of a Man and the Way of a Woman 9
Part I Balancing: Understanding the Will and the Way
Chapter 1 The Note 19
Chapter 2 When His Will Gets in Her Way 33
Chapter 3 Something in the Way: His Struggle and Hers 47
Chapter 4 When Parents Know, Children Grow 59
Part II Bending: Practicing the Will and the Way
Chapter 5 Bending Your Will, Finding the Way 73
Chapter 6 My Way or the Highway! 87
Chapter 7 Getting His Attention: The Ultimate "Power" Tool 103
Chapter 8 The Peacekeeper and the Truth-Teller 113
Chapter 9 Attunement: Listening with Your Third Ear 129
Chapter 10 A Parent's Path: The Best Way to Lead Will 143
Part III Blending: Enjoying the Will and the Way
Chapter 11 The Teaming Couple 161
Chapter 12 What Men Want Most! 175
Chapter 13 What Women Deeply Desire! 187
Chapter 14 Where There's a Will 203
Chapter 15 The Will and the Way…in the Bedroom 219
Chapter 16 Restoring Marriage: Living God's Will, Gods Way 233
Schedule an Event in Your Area with Robert and Pamela Crosby 250
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Reviewed by Mamta Madhavan for Readers' Favorite The Will of a Man & the Way of a Woman: Balancing & Blending Better Together by Robert and Pamela Crosby is an insightful book that gives readers excellent tips on what needs to be done to make their marriages work. The will of a man and the way of a woman are like two powerful magnets, and understanding that will help to get our heads and hearts around the potential and challenges of making a marriage work. The book encourages readers to take time to consider their relationship, what they are learning about themselves and the one they love, and assists them in taking a fresh look by trying to answer the questions at the end of each chapter. The book is an engaging read and will make couples work in their marriages, parenting, and in all kinds of relationships between males and females. The three sections in the book will guide and help readers to lead them to a relationship which can be understood, practiced, and blended well. The questions at the end of each chapter are helpful to readers and are useful in looking into their marriages and making the necessary improvements. The author handles the topic methodically and aesthetically, making it entertaining to readers. The book is a useful tool for counselors, couples, and all those who are not only married, but also planning to get married, as it helps them to understand and blend the differences between a man and a woman.
This review is from: The Will of a Man & the Way of a Woman: Balancing & Blending Better Together (Paperback) I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review. I have to say I was drawn to this book because of the title. It really intrigued me with the way men and women generally view the world differently. Robert and Pam Crosby do an excellent job of illustrating this fact. I feel this book would be good for anyone who is considering marriage right through those who have been married for a long time. This book opens the reader's thoughts to differences in how men and women process information differently. This leads to conflicts between them in relationships. Plus, the differences almost act like magnets of opposite poles that repel one another. These conflicts can lead to real problems in marriage and know how to deal with them. I thoroughly recommend this book.
I loved this book and highly recommend it to every married couple in the world. We all know that men and women are hard wired differently. Robert and Pamela Crosby candidly share times in their lives where they learned to balance their wants and needs with that of each other. Learning to "balance, bend, and blend" is truly a work of art. It is a willingness to study and learn about your spouse that can have your marriage right where God intended it to be. This is a fun read for couples with questions at the end of each chapter that can be answered and then discussed with each other. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review. Run out and buy this book today and enjoy rekindling a more Godly marriage with your spouse.
The Will of a Man and the Way of a Woman" by Robert and Pamela Crosby is a self-help book for married couples and their communication. The book describes not only the social differences, but the biblical, physical and psychological differences between men and women. Though I didn't think this book was all that necessary to begin with, I soon found myself quoting from it regularly. Keep reading, cuz it is good! It is sooo informative and the a-ha moments are frequent. I loved this book! I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review."
As a pastor, I have read and used many resources to help those with whom I counsel as well as my own marriage. This book is very "down-to-earth" without a lot of technical statistics or language. It also seems to be somewhat of a consolidation of some of what I have read in other books (some from which they quoted) which I see as a good thing--- sort of a "best of" or "Greatest Hits." However, it also contains new insights that are very practical and well-illustrated by personal stories. This is especially helpful in dealing with a heavy subject while facilitating spouses reading and applying this with a light-hearted seriousness. Truly a great book! Thanks. Wayne I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
I just don't understand that man (my husband)! How many times have I thought those words? Too often to count! Robert and Pamela Crosby's "The Will of a Man and The Way of a Woman" offers men and women advice to better understand, communicate with, and support their spouses. This book highlights the fundamental differences between men and women, differences that can be both weaknesses at worst and strengths at best. The Crosby's wrote their booked collaboratively; each topic is addressed by both, presenting a male and female point of view. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
This book is one of the easiest read on the matter of marriage and family relationships. The Crosbys in this book gave the reader an honest view of their marriage. They masterfully gave insight into the Will of a Man and the Way of a Woman, and how when not understood or misunderstood can create tension and difficulties in a relationship. Thus, repelling partners away from one another. Conversely, when understood and embraced act as a magnetic pull drawing the couple to one another. This understanding of the man's will and the woman's way not only enhances the couple, but flows over to the children. The book is divided into three parts Balancing: Understanding the Will and the Way, Bending: Practicing the Will and the Way, Blending: Enjoying the Will and the Way. Each section gives the reading realistic insight and practical steps to understand and move forward in their marriage and family relationships. This book is an excellent source for any stage of marriage and parenting. It would be a excellent pre marital tool for couples considering marriage. The book is biblically based without being preachy. If you are considering marriage, married, or parenting, this is must have resource. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review. I wasn’t drawn to this book by the title. “The Will of a Man and the Way of a Woman” sounded a bit hokey to me. I’m glad Barbour gave me the opportunity to review this book; I might have passed it up if I came across it in a bookstore. This book is a helpful read for different stages, from preparing for marriage, to newly married, and for those who have been married for a longer time. While many of the ideas have been covered in one way or another in other books on marriage, Robert and Pamela Crosby still manage to bring a fresh perspective and a new way of looking at the marriage relationship. They write of differences in the way men and women are wired and how that impacts a marriage, the conflicts and struggles than can arise because of these differences, and how understanding these differences is an important step toward a stronger marriage. It is not a book about stereotypical roles of husbands and wives, but more about how men and women think, process information, respond to each other, and act towards each other. The Crosbys write about how to appreciate and understand these differences. They discuss the importance of learning to “balance, bend, and blend” in marriage. Even after reading other books on marriage, I learned new ideas and insights in this book. It is well-written overall, other than a couple of minor editorial oversights (e.g., in one chapter, a paragraph is repeated word for word 6 pages after the first appearance and doesn’t seem to fit that particular section). The style makes for easy reading. A strength of the book is the blended voices of both Robert Crosby and Pamela Crosby, giving both the male and female perspective. I highly recommend this book.
Book Review – The Will of a Man & The Way of a Women Robert & Pamela Crosby Publisher: Shiloh Run Press, Imprint of Barbour Publishing, Inc. 2016 Finally, a book on Christian Marriage focusing equally on both the man and the woman balanced with solid Scripture and scientific marriage studies. This balance is extremely difficult to accomplish while keeping the message true to Christian principals and containing a message simple enough for everyday application. I have not seen a book that addresses a Christian marriage so effectively since; “Incompatibility; Still Grounds for a Great Marriage” by Chuck and Barbara Snyder, published by Random House. Yes, there have been several books published on Christian Marriage since 2011. But, few have captured the true essence of balancing Faith with human tendencies as well as Robert and Pamela Crosby. The book stays true to Scripture while addressing the truth that God created amazingly subtle differences between a man and a woman. You think this is easy? It is not! I mentor many men on topics such as, “Cherishing Your Spouse” and “Men and Their Jobs”. I made the mistake (the will of man) presuming I knew most of what was going to be imparted by the Crosby’s. I quickly learned and easily accepted what the Crosby’s have to say because of “trust”. The trust came effortlessly because of the extremely personal stories of their marriage, their long experience as Pastors/Counselors and their detailed knowledge of Scripture. I humbly accepted their advice to help all of us actually realize a much healthier Christian marriage. My only recommendation would be to include a few more “tips” for guys. It is a balanced book on marriage, but we (guys) probably need a little extra direction, hints and specific instruction based upon our strong “will”. I highly recommend this book as it refined my focus and increased my understanding of the true nature of Trinity as related to marriage. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Babour Publishing in exchange for my honest review. C. Marsh Bull Founder/CEO www.Mensgroup.org
I'm not sure if I have read too many books on marriage. I found it kind of hard to get into this book. There was a lot of good advise and I did like how Pamela and Robert told their side of the situation and then there is a reference with the bible. There was some advise I really liked and they helped me look at things differently.Like how men relate to one another and how women relate to one another and how we need to look at the way we were created to find out how to communicate . I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Plblishing in exchange for my honest review.
Robert and Pamela Crosby have written a beautiful book in the Will of a Man & the Way of a Woman. I enjoyed their personal stories of struggle in their marriage and how they sought to more deeply understand and know each other as well as references to research. This book so beautifully presents how the will and the way should be celebrated in men and women and used to complement each other in marriage. While this is not the best book I have read about marriage, it was informative and uplifting with sufficient reality checks throughout. Buy this book to further understand your husband / wife and open discussion with them to begin blending better together. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
I received a copy of The Will Of A Man and The Way Of A Woman from Barbour Publishing for an honest review. After 30 years of marriage I often think that I am an expert at it but every now and then something happens and you are left searching for answers. Being able to "balance and blend" to your spouse is how God designed marriage. Robert and Pamela Crosby explore many areas in a marriage ; parenting, confrontation, and intimacy just to name a few and they give the reader Scripture verses that also show how one is to handle such issues. The Ask Up sections ask questions that the reader can answer alone, with their spouse or if being used in a group study; in that setting also. This is a great book for people with years of marriage or for those who are newly married or even thinking about marriage.
Such a great marriage read! What a refreshing non-fiction marriage book that leaves me encouraged and hopeful. I really enjoyed this read because I feel that they have something with this idea/saying of “The Will of a Man and The Way of a Woman”… They had me drawn in by the personal accounts they share in the book, they had me laughing because they are so on track, and they had the challenges all laid out. They share a quote by someone at the beginning of every chapter and I found those refreshing and well placed within the book. This book is encouraging for the soon to be married, the newly married all the way up to the ones who have been married for years. I think wherever you are on your marriage journey you will be encouraged by theirs words and also helped to “see” the truth in their book title. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
The Will of a Man & the Way of a Woman is both a primer for new marriages, and a repair guide when things have gone wrong. The book cites Scripture and quotes many experts in the field. Its charm, though, relies on the many shared personal experiences of authors/pastors Robert and Pamela Causby, spanning several decades of successful marriage. The book is divided into three sections and 16 chapters explaining how God equipped man with a strong will and woman with an understanding way, which leads to a relationship that should be understood, practiced, and blended, both for the emotional and physical health of the parties and to the ultimate glory of God. Especially intriguing is the biblical story of Mary and Jesus and how God presented His plan for Jesus’ birth to ensure the success of His will through Joseph’s own will, and His way through Mary’s understanding of what was about to happen. Each chapter concludes with a series of questions that could be used for individual or small group studies. The questions are not only a quiz of material covered in the chapter, but also an invitation to apply the lessons learned to the life of the readers. Answering the questions fully and thoughtfully is as much a commitment to the book as reading the text itself, so readers should prepare to invest some time into completing the thought-provoking questions. This book would be extremely useful for pastors, and marriage/family counselors as well as to married couples of any age, or even for those contemplating marriage. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review. I’m delighted to rate this book with five stars as a most useful and excellent read.
Robert and Pamela Crosby have written a book that is helpful to both newlyweds and those who have been married a long time. They have used their own experiences and their own points of view to show that even though we are different than our spouse, it is possible to achieve a good marriage. It just takes our acceptance that we are different, a willingness to work together, and a mutual belief in God. It is when a married couple asks God for His help and guidance and then listens to Him that a good marriage is truly possible! God introduced the concept of marriage as "an earthly relationship designed to reflect a heavenly one" so we should allow him to oversee the union that he created! He will help us "balance, bend, and blend". I found this book to be very enlightening. I appreciate that the authors have used scripture throughout to support their statements and also included discussion questions at the end of each chapter that should help readers deepen their understanding. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
Highly recommend this book no matter where you may be in your marriage, whether you are like two strangers living in the same house, or whether you truly believe your marriage is going great, or whether you are somewhere in between. I can guarantee, you will pick up practical advice to make your marriage better. I love the analogy that is used throughout the book that describes marriage as a dance, a dance that requires both dancers doing their part, always thinking of their partner, a dance where they have to blend their strengths and if done right, the dance will not be about either one of them individually but will be a beautiful picture on oneness. The book starts off defining what is meant by the will of a man, way of a woman. And then unpacks that definition throughout the book with practical examples, stories, illustrations etc. And while initially I wasn’t sure I completely sure I understand, I found myself many times during the reading of the book, going okay now I see what they mean. So it is masterfully unfolded in real life situations. The authors beautifully opened their lives to us the reader and was willing to be vulnerable so that we the reader may see ourselves in these pages. I have to share this quote from page 163, “The result of balancing and bending in marriage is a harmony of influence and legacy of love; this is the blending. The process includes times of appropriately asserting yourself and other times of graciously submitting yourself to you partner.” This quote includes the 3 b’s that is shared in this book for any marriage to be success and they are balance, bending, and blending. What a beautiful word picture when taken together. The two key portions of the book that was most helpful to me in the area of marriage was the sections that spoke first directly to the woman and how she can bring out the best in her husband by understanding what he really wants out of marriage. What a husband truly wants includes: that he truly wants to make you happy but isn’t quite sure how to do that, that it is not so much what I say but how I say it, that he truly does desire romance but just doesn’t know how to get it started, and that he truly needs affirmation from his wife. On the flipside, the section speaking to husbands about what their wives truly want talks about: a wife’s three key desires of security, protection and intimacy and how a man can fulfill those desires with his need to provide, to guard and to be relationally engaged. However, I also learned tips for dealing with those situations in life where I deal with disappointment by what they author called the Y factor where I choose joy by telling my emotions where to get off. I really liked the three checkpoints the author lists out: remember we have a choice and the choice is ours alone to make, making a ‘first thoughts’ kit and having it readily available to feed our mind positively, and learning what builds joy for me and being intentional about it. Likewise, I even picked up some parenting tips and ways I can open the soul of my children in: the time I take, the moments I make, the questions I ask, the insights I share, and the promises I keep. So pick up a copy of this book, get out a highlighter and be prepared to be entertained and educated. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
This book is a good resource for married couples. I really like that the book is from the point of view of the husband and the wife. At the end of each chapter there are discussion questions that are very helpful for a married couple to talk about together. I learned in this book many different ways that a man and woman are different and how their differences can come together and have a great marriage. "I received a complimentary copy of this book from Barbour Publishing. My opinion is an honest and is my own!