Thinking About Infants and Young Children

by Martha Harris

Overview

This book describes some of the important aspects of the development of infants and young children from birth to school age. It is illustrated by vignettes of scenes between parents and children and it touches on many of the questions and feelings evoked by the intense emotional relationship between parents and children.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781780490106
Publisher:	Karnac Books
Publication date:	06/28/2011
Series:	Harris Meltzer Trust Series
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	130
Product dimensions:	7.40(w) x 9.20(h) x 0.40(d)

About the Author

Martha Harris (1919-1987) read English at University College London and then Psychology at Oxford. She taught in a Froebel Teacher Training College and was trained as a Psychologist at Guys Hospital, as a Child Psychotherapist at the Tavistock Clinic, where she was for many years responsible for the child psychotherapy training in the department of Children and Families, and as a Psychoanalyst at the British Institute of Psychoanalysis. Together with her first husband, Roland Harris (a teacher), she started a pioneering schools counselling service. With her second husband, Donald Meltzer, she wrote a psychoanalytical model of The Child in the Family in the Community for multidisciplinary use in schools and therapeutic units.

Table of Contents

About the author viii

Preface Margaret Rustin ix

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 Parenthood 5

Becoming a parent

Motherhood

Reactions to birth

Fatherhood

Mrs B's first baby

Chapter 2 The new baby's point of view 15

Uniqueness of your new-born baby

The baby's world

The baby's need to feel held

Expressing his needs

How mother becomes a person for him

Breastfeeding

Comforters

Mrs R's relationship with her baby

Chapter 3 Coming up to six months 25

Discovering the world and himself

Discovering his parents

The ability to be separate

Curiosity and jealousy

Greediness

Mrs J's relationship with Olivia (6 months)

Alan's emotional development (4 months)

Chapter 4 Weaning 37

Starting to wean

Taking it slowly

Mrs L - reluctance to wean

Chapter 5 The toddler stage 43

Teaching obedience

Prohibitions

Allowing him to do things for himself

Toilet training

Feelings about the products of his body

Sleeping troubles

Marion's nightmares

Prolonged sleeping troubles

Jimmy - a poor sleeper and over-eater

Chapter 6 Encouraging growth 55

Letting the child become himself

Setting limits

Strictness and spoiling

Margaretta - spoiled by too much attention

Punishment

Fears and conscience

Chapter 7 Brothers and sisters 63

Preparing your child for the arrival of a new baby

Brian - whose mother is pregnant

What to do with your small child when you are confined?

Managing more than one small child

Melinda - playing at being grown up

Bob and his younger sister

Jenny, who won't stand up for herself

When to say "no"

Chapter 8 The young child's education 79

Parental instruction

Sex education

Nursery school

Starting primary school

Peter starts primary school

Chapter 9 Various questions 87

The threesome relationship

Sexuality in the young child

James - whose parents divorced

Explaining death

Willie - worries about death

Father Christmas - for example

Play and stories: their relation to the inner and outer world

Chapter 10 Further thoughts about marriage and becoming a parent 101

Difficulty in believing that you really are a mother

Irrational anxieties about the baby before and after birth

Is the baby all right? Is he the right one, is he my baby?

Adopting a baby

Preparing for adoption

Is he any less your child because he is adopted?

Leaving your infant in the care of others

Learning to live with tragedy

Index 113

Editorial Reviews

It is a pleasure to have a new edition of this lovely book, which encompasses so many core aspects of the life of the baby, his parents and siblings. Mrs Harris describes with clarity the development of these first relationships. I have for years recommended this book to baby observation teachers and professionals interested in the emotional development of the infant and work with parents. It is written in such a captivating and lively way that many parents also have found it very useful in thinking about their infants.

Marja Schulman

Thinking about Infants and Young Children has become a classic in Brazil since its publication in Portuguese in 1988. Thanks to this book both specialist and ordinary readers have had the opportunity to become acquainted with basic psychoanalytical concepts relevant to both the emotional development of the infant and to parental functions.

Marisa Pelella Melega

The Italian edition of this book, published in 1972, was immediately a huge success because it was not aimed at offering advice to parents and educators, but rather at a psychological understanding of the child that would improve the ambience and environment in which he was being brought up. Its step-by-step account of childhood includes aspects that were hardly taken into consideration at that time—such as sexuality, death, and parental divorce or separation. The author’s depth of thought and ease of expression have maintained readers’ interest over the years, as has been confirmed by the editions of 1985, 1999 and 2009.

Romana Negri

Psychic growth is a very complex process throughout childhood. There is no recipe for rearing a child, no good or bad way per se to treat him. Parents must be able to observe each of their children and think about them individually. In limpid language, Martha Harris gives many wonderful illustrations of this way of ‘observing and thinking’.

Didier Houzel

What makes this book so attractive? Is it the way it raises problems without putting the blame on parents? Is it the deep understanding of children? Is it the simplicity of expression with which complicated and important issues are discussed? All these qualities made the book a great source of inspiration for me."

Miriam Botbol

Martha Harris’s book Thinking about Infants and Young Children is truly a seminal work. It remains as lively, insightful and relevant as Martha Harris was as a teacher. This is a book that has not dated. It has accompanied me in my professional work, from London to Melbourne, since 1975, as a valuable resource to me as both clinician and teacher of infant observation."

Ann Cebon

Martha Harris’s book Thinking about Infants and Young Children is truly a seminal work. It remains as lively, insightful and relevant as Martha Harris was as a teacher. This is a book that has not dated. It has accompanied me in my professional work, from London to Melbourne, since 1975, as a valuable resource to me as both clinician and teacher of infant observation."

“What makes this book so attractive? Is it the way it raises problems without putting the blame on parents? Is it the deep understanding of children? Is it the simplicity of expression with which complicated and important issues are discussed? All these qualities made the book a great source of inspiration for me."

“Psychic growth is a very complex process throughout childhood. There is no recipe for rearing a child, no good or bad way per se to treat him. Parents must be able to observe each of their children and think about them individually. In limpid language, Martha Harris gives many wonderful illustrations of this way of ‘observing and thinking’.”

“The Italian edition of this book, published in 1972, was immediately a huge success because it was not aimed at offering advice to parents and educators, but rather at a psychological understanding of the child that would improve the ambience and environment in which he was being brought up. Its step-by-step account of childhood includes aspects that were hardly taken into consideration at that time—such as sexuality, death, and parental divorce or separation. The author’s depth of thought and ease of expression have maintained readers’ interest over the years, as has been confirmed by the editions of 1985, 1999 and 2009.”

“Thinking about Infants and Young Children has become a classic in Brazil since its publication in Portuguese in 1988. Thanks to this book both specialist and ordinary readers have had the opportunity to become acquainted with basic psychoanalytical concepts relevant to both the emotional development of the infant and to parental functions.”

“It is a pleasure to have a new edition of this lovely book, which encompasses so many core aspects of the life of the baby, his parents and siblings. Mrs Harris describes with clarity the development of these first relationships. I have for years recommended this book to baby observation teachers and professionals interested in the emotional development of the infant and work with parents. It is written in such a captivating and lively way that many parents also have found it very useful in thinking about their infants.

From the Publisher