Tiny Crimes: Very Short Tales of Mystery and Murder

Tiny Crimes: Very Short Tales of Mystery and Murder


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“An intriguing take on crime/noir writing, this collection of 40 very short stories by leading and emerging literary voices . . . investigates crimes both real and imagined. Despite their diminutive size, these tales promise to pack a punch.” —Chicago Tribune

Forty very short stories that reimagine the genre of crime writing from some of today’s most imaginative and thrilling writers, Tiny Crimes offers tales of villainy and intrigue in only a few hundred words. From the most hard–boiled of noirs to the coziest of mysteries, with diminutive double crosses, miniature murders, and crimes both real and imagined, Tiny Crimes rounds up all the usual suspects, and some unusual suspects, too. With illustrations by Wesley Allsbrook and flash fiction by Carmen Maria Machado, Benjamin Percy, Amelia Gray, Adam Sternbergh, Yuri Herrera, Julia Elliott, Elizabeth Hand, Brian Evenson, Charles Yu, Laura van den Berg, and more, Tiny Crimes scours the underbelly of modern life to expose the criminal, the illegal, and the depraved.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781936787876
Publisher: Catapult
Publication date: 06/05/2018
Pages: 288
Sales rank: 524,537
Product dimensions: 4.90(w) x 7.00(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Lincoln Michel is the author of Upright Beasts, a collection of short stories from Coffee House Press. His fiction and criticism appear in The New York Times, Vice, Granta, The Guardian, Rolling Stone, the Pushcart Prize anthology, and elsewhere. With Nadxieli Nieto, he is the coeditor of Gigantic Worlds, an anthology of science flash fiction. You can find him online at www.lincolnmichel.com.

Nadxieli Nieto is an editor and art director. She is the coeditor of Carteles Contra Una Guerra, which won the Premis Ciutat de Barcelona, and the Gigantic Books series. Formerly, she was the managing editor of the award–winning NOON annual and the editor in chief of Salt Hill journal. Her poetry has appeared in publications such as New York Tyrant, West Wind Review, and Washington Square Review, among others. She is on the steering committee of Latinx in Publishing (LxP) and teaches at CCNY. Her collaborative artist books may be found in the permanent collections of the Museum of Modern Art and the Brooklyn Museum.

Read an Excerpt

“Circuit City” by J. Robert Lennon

Because we didn’t like John, our manager, and because we suspected that he planned to rob Circuit City on its final day of operations, we decided (John, John, and I) to rob Circuit City on its final day of operations.

John had been tasked with selling off all stock, which meant deep discounts for our customers on computers, televisions, stereo equipment, video games, DVDs, and home appliances. John elected to close Circuit City for one week leading up to its final day of operations, which was Sunday, March 8, 2009, in order to generate excitement and to promote the store clearance as a “sales event.” The “sales event” would be cash-only, which is an unorthodox procedure at Circuit City and which tipped John, John, and myself off to the possibility that John was planning to rob Circuit City. In movies and on television, which John, John, and I often were able to watch during our shifts at Circuit City, owing to its recent decline in revenue, this is known as a “heist.”

“Cash,” John observed, smoking, during our smoke break out on the loading dock, “is harder to account for than other forms of payment.”

“John is going to steal some or all of the cash,” John replied, smoking.

Smoking, I said, “If John intends to steal some or all of the cash, then we should steal some or all of the cash instead.” In movies and on television, this is known as a “double cross.”

We all were wearing the red shirts required of all employees. John wore the required red shirt as well, but upon his required shirt was embroidered the word “manager.” Because we didn’t like John, we called him Manager.

“Manager, this customer is looking for a game controller.”

“Manager, this customer would like to return these cables.”

“Manager, your required red shirt is looking fly today.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Stop calling me that.”

The “sales event” proved successful. Customers lined up around the building in order to buy computers, televisions, stereo equipment, video games, DVDs, and home appliances, all the way back to the loading dock where no one was smoking due to the “sales event.” Circuit City made $42,738 in the hours until noon, at which time John reduced prices by half, then Circuit City made another $29,722 in the hours until 5pm, at which time John reduced prices to 90% off list, then Circuit City made another $22,835 in the hours until closing, for a grand total of $92,295, which we helped John pack into large canvas sacks. In movies and on television, this is known as “loot.”

John, John, and I made to leave Circuit City, driving in John’s car, after farewells and thank-yous to John, whom we didn’t call Manager for the first time ever. John appeared moved but eager for us to leave, presumably because John was also eager to transfer the large canvas sacks of dollars into his car. We came back five minutes later to find John at the loading bay, loading the large canvas sacks of dollars into his car.

“Manager, what are you doing?”

“Manager, are those the dollars?”

“Manager, this is an unorthodox procedure.”

“Hey well now,” John said, and then John pulled a pistol from the crack of his ass and shot John in the head. John collapsed to the ground beside his blood-spattered car, his red shirt, bearing the embroidered word “manager,” soaked red with blood, which was ironic. The shooting was an unorthodox procedure. In movies and on television, this is known as a “twist.” After a moment of reflection, John and I began to transfer the large canvas sacks of dollars from John’s car to John’s car. John asked John if he intended to help and John replied, gesturing towards John’s lifeless body, “I just did. Also,” he said, smoking, which was an orthodox procedure, especially considering that John, John, and I were at the loading dock and were now on what could be termed a permanent smoke break, “it’s my car. John,” he said, meaning me, “you drive,” and he gestured towards the driver’s side door. I got into the car, behind the steering wheel. Driving John’s car was an unorthodox procedure. Outside the car, John shot John in much the way he had shot John. Now I understood that John was bad. In the movies and on television, this is known as “anagnorisis.” The cigarette fell out of John’s mouth, and he said fuck.

John climbed into the passenger seat and pointed his pistol at me and said drive. I
drove. John said left. John said left. John said right. John said keep going. John said shut up. John said keep going. John said exit. John said right. John said, his voice distorted by the rutted dirt road we were driving on, keep going.

Now John’s portable telephone rang. In movies and on television this is known as “deus ex machina.” John looked down. I reached behind my back and pulled out the pistol I’d hidden in the crack of my ass and I pointed it at John. In movies and on television, this is known as “peripeteia.” I told John to drop his pistol and instead John pointed his pistol at me, so I shot John, and he shot me. We shot each other. In movies and on television, this is known as “poetic justice.” We died.

We kept driving. This was an unorthodox procedure. Our red shirts were red. The dirt road smoothed out and began to glow. Angels appeared on either side of the car to escort us into Heaven. In movies and on television, I am known as an “unreliable narrator.” Circuit City was later purchased by Systemax and consolidated, along with CompUSA, into the TigerDirect online brand. This is an orthodox procedure. John and I are still driving. The angels wear red. John and I are beginning to think that they are not angels and that this is not Heaven.

Table of Contents

“Circuit City,” J. Robert Lennon

“Rat Face,” Paul La Farge

“Any Other,” Jac Jemc

“Alibi,” Charles Yu

“Give Me Strength,” Karen Heuler

“The Luser,” Yuri Herrera, trans. Lisa Dillman

“Exit Interview,” Christian Hayden

“Minor Witchcraft,” Chiara Barzini

“Loophoole,” Adam Sternbergh

“Mary When You Follow Her,” Carmen Maria Machado

“Ghostlight,” Elizabeth Hand

“Highway 1,” Benjamin Whitmer

“Airport Paperback,” Adam Hirsch

“The Fifth of July,” Helen Phillips

“Withhold the Dawn,” Richie Navarez

“Good Hair,” Marta Balcewitcz

“nobody checks their voicemails anymore not even detectives,” Sasha Fletcher

“Dogface,” Sarah Wang

“See Agent,” Mik Awake

“These Are Funny, Broken Days,” Amber Sparks

“Knife Fight,” Julia Elliot

“The Rhetorician,” Adrian Van Young

“No Exit,” Fuminori Namakura, trans. Allison Markin Powell

“The Hall at the End of the Hall,” Ryan Bloom

“Friends,” Laura van den Berg

“Hygge,” Dorthe Nors, trans. Misha Hoekstra

“Three Scores,” Nick Mamatas

“The Odds,” Amelia Gray

“Nobody’s Gonna Sleep Here Honey,” Danielle Evans

“What We Know,v Misha Rai

“The Trashman Cometh,” JW McCormack

“Actual Urchin,” Henry Hoke

“The Law of Expansion,” Brian Evenson

“Night Train,” Fabien Clouette & Quentin Leclerc, trans. Jeffery Zuckerman

“We Are Suicide,” Benjamin Percy

“A Bead to String,” Michael Harris Cohen

“The Meme Farm,” Adam McCulloch

“The Wrong One,” Erica Wright

“Final Rescue,” Kenneth Nichols

“Purple Pills,” Rion Amilcar Scott

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