To See Yourself As You Vanish
Fierce, frank, witty poetry about cancer diagnosis, treatment, remission, and end-of-life

Written in the last three years of her life, Andrea Werblin Reid's To See Yourself As You Vanish is a collection of unsparingly brave and insightful poems about her experience with ovarian cancer. Frank, fierce, and witty, her work does not hide behind cliches, platitudes, or tropes, but addresses the hopes, frustrations, fears, and longings that would be easy to leave unspoken. She offers friendship and understanding to those who share her experiences and powerful insights for caregivers and those who work in oncology, hospice, research, and psychology. Of these poems, Reid herself said: "I have struggled with the implications of war metaphors and the perspectives they perpetuate since receiving my own cancer diagnosis. People living with cancer and other chronic illnesses are not taking up arms, they are living as long and as humanely as possible: not to win or lose, simply to live." The scenes in these poems are rich and spare, magical and sane, awful and special: "one bird comes to the end of his branch looking like a clever moustache. /one bird comes to the end of his song like an ordinary bird."

[sample poem]

THE COLOR OF WAITING

is hypnotic pink, under whose spell
you've been living for years
like a small fossilized creature.
or magenta, a bruise
that evolves, so you must
continue to adjust your secrets
waiting is rosy, a soft-spun
medical soundtrack of static
frizz, machine screech
then sharp as the serrated smiles
doctors have been honing for years.
waiting masquerades as the inflatable idea
of hope, waterproofed for safety, maybe,
devoid of vision, punctured that easily

1146878305
To See Yourself As You Vanish
Fierce, frank, witty poetry about cancer diagnosis, treatment, remission, and end-of-life

Written in the last three years of her life, Andrea Werblin Reid's To See Yourself As You Vanish is a collection of unsparingly brave and insightful poems about her experience with ovarian cancer. Frank, fierce, and witty, her work does not hide behind cliches, platitudes, or tropes, but addresses the hopes, frustrations, fears, and longings that would be easy to leave unspoken. She offers friendship and understanding to those who share her experiences and powerful insights for caregivers and those who work in oncology, hospice, research, and psychology. Of these poems, Reid herself said: "I have struggled with the implications of war metaphors and the perspectives they perpetuate since receiving my own cancer diagnosis. People living with cancer and other chronic illnesses are not taking up arms, they are living as long and as humanely as possible: not to win or lose, simply to live." The scenes in these poems are rich and spare, magical and sane, awful and special: "one bird comes to the end of his branch looking like a clever moustache. /one bird comes to the end of his song like an ordinary bird."

[sample poem]

THE COLOR OF WAITING

is hypnotic pink, under whose spell
you've been living for years
like a small fossilized creature.
or magenta, a bruise
that evolves, so you must
continue to adjust your secrets
waiting is rosy, a soft-spun
medical soundtrack of static
frizz, machine screech
then sharp as the serrated smiles
doctors have been honing for years.
waiting masquerades as the inflatable idea
of hope, waterproofed for safety, maybe,
devoid of vision, punctured that easily

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To See Yourself As You Vanish

To See Yourself As You Vanish

by Andrea Werblin Reid
To See Yourself As You Vanish

To See Yourself As You Vanish

by Andrea Werblin Reid

Hardcover

$26.95 
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Overview

Fierce, frank, witty poetry about cancer diagnosis, treatment, remission, and end-of-life

Written in the last three years of her life, Andrea Werblin Reid's To See Yourself As You Vanish is a collection of unsparingly brave and insightful poems about her experience with ovarian cancer. Frank, fierce, and witty, her work does not hide behind cliches, platitudes, or tropes, but addresses the hopes, frustrations, fears, and longings that would be easy to leave unspoken. She offers friendship and understanding to those who share her experiences and powerful insights for caregivers and those who work in oncology, hospice, research, and psychology. Of these poems, Reid herself said: "I have struggled with the implications of war metaphors and the perspectives they perpetuate since receiving my own cancer diagnosis. People living with cancer and other chronic illnesses are not taking up arms, they are living as long and as humanely as possible: not to win or lose, simply to live." The scenes in these poems are rich and spare, magical and sane, awful and special: "one bird comes to the end of his branch looking like a clever moustache. /one bird comes to the end of his song like an ordinary bird."

[sample poem]

THE COLOR OF WAITING

is hypnotic pink, under whose spell
you've been living for years
like a small fossilized creature.
or magenta, a bruise
that evolves, so you must
continue to adjust your secrets
waiting is rosy, a soft-spun
medical soundtrack of static
frizz, machine screech
then sharp as the serrated smiles
doctors have been honing for years.
waiting masquerades as the inflatable idea
of hope, waterproofed for safety, maybe,
devoid of vision, punctured that easily


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780819502070
Publisher: Wesleyan University Press
Publication date: 09/09/2025
Series: Wesleyan Poetry Series
Pages: 88
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.00(d)

About the Author

ANDREA WERBLIN REID (1965–2022) is the author of Lullaby for One Fist (Wesleyan, 2001) and Sunday with the Sound Turned Off (Lost Horse, 2014). Her poem "Language is the Virus" was named a finalist for the prestigious Perkoff Prize from the Missouri Review and her work has been published in the LA Review of Books, Virginia Quarterly Review, Massachusetts Review, Brooklyn Rail, Pank, Smartish Pace, and more.

Table of Contents

Lifespan
Distended
Tugboat Captain
Assurance
Language is a Virus
Letter to a Torso
The Color of Waiting
A.K.A.
Wolf Month
*
Re-Treating
Sorry Sorry
Context
The World of the Well
Transformers
*
Mental
Driving While Grateful
Betray
Online Support Group
Evidence for the Role of Mindfulness in Cancer
Trying to Meditate
The Wordlessness of Fixed Time & Simple Blessings
Expectancy
Stargazer
Last Full Moon of the Year 2020
Your Stupud Ignorant Beautiful Self in the Time Before Everything
*
At Least for Today
The Flora, The Impossibility
Patient
*
Clinical Trial
Rivals
What Was That Game Called?
*
Plain Okay
Reckoning
You Get No Extra Points for Making It Through Your Morning
Shower Without Needing to Stop and Sit Down
Insomnia
Plan
Things Disease Has to Teach
*
You Say Late Like It's a Bad Thing
People Find It Difficult to Talk About Cancer
Things I Don't Know How to Talk About Anymore
Charm
Port, The Definition
*
Snow Day
When to Resign
You Know How This Ends
Metastasis
Spiders & Mars
Walden
Someone Else You Know Gets Cancer
*
The Jeopardy of Your Thinking
*
Appendages
Kinds of Resistance
Logical Disjunction
How to Get Unstuck
Once Upon a Ridiculous Couple of Years .
*
Keep Living
People Speak of the Future
Address
Hereafter
The Dazzling Odds
*
How to Tell the Difference Between a Raven, a Crow, and a Tired Body
Compact
When You're Done
Undertow

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