The Triangle of Truth: The Surprisingly Simple Secret to Resolving Conflicts Largeand Small

The Triangle of Truth: The Surprisingly Simple Secret to Resolving Conflicts Largeand Small

by Lisa Earle McLeod


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780399536434
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 02/01/2011
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 676,804
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.70(d)
Age Range: 18 Years

About the Author

Lisa Earle McLeod is a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, keynote speaker, and inspirational thought leader. The president of McLeod & More Inc., an international training and consulting firm, she writes a leadership series for Visit her company website at

Table of Contents

Introduction: What Do Mary Kay, Buddha, and Elvis Know That You Don't? xi

Principle 1 Embrace and: Why Either/Or Thinking Ruins Everything 1

Why Other People Drive Us Nuts 3

The Flawed And Fabulous Dichotomy of Human Nature 4

Either/Or: The Bane of Human Existence 6

Harnessing the Power of And 8

Intellectually Understandable, Emotionally Challenging 12

Why a Single Triangle Solves Millions of Problems 15

Filed Under Flawed 18

The Truth About Other People 20

Principle 2 Make Peace with Ambiguity: How Fear and Uncertainty Flatline Our Thinking 25

This Is Your Brain on Fear 26

The "I Can't Hear You" Brain-Lock 29

Fear Ignites Either/Or, Love Inspires And 31

Love Lessons from the Hanoi Hilton 35

Pessimism Versus Optimism: A False Choice 40

What POWs Teach Us About Choosing Our Thoughts 44

Why Faith Is Different from Optimism 46

A Very Expensive Lesson 49

Two Game-Changing Dualities 56

The Secret to Mastering the Triangle 58

Principle 3 Hold Space for Other Perspectives: Solving the Your Agenda Versus My Agenda Quagmire 61

The Sales Rep Who Loved 64

Why Your Body Is Smarter Than Your Brain 68

What the World of Sales Teaches Us About Assimilating Truths 70

What Differentiates the Superstars 73

Same Message, Different Results 75

A Subtle Shift of Focus 78

How You Organize Your Mind 80

It's Not You, It's Me (So Please Stick to the Subject) 84

Once More with Feeling 87

A Question of Timing 88

Interesting Versus Interested 90

Who's Afraid to Let the Other Guy Talk? 91

Why Love Means Never Having to Say, "Yes, But" 93

Act As If 99

Can I Get a Witness? 101

Principle 4 Seek Higher Ground: How to Rise Above the Comfort and Convenience of False Choices 105

We Hold These Truths to Be Complementary 112

The Myth of the Middle Ground 114

The Bumpy Path to Greatness 117

The "Therefore" Trap 120

Crossovers: Problematic and Successful (Sometimes) 123

Why John Adams Sold the Declaration, but Garth Brooks Couldn't Sell Chris Gaines 125

Are You My Thomas Jefferson? 130

Male Versus Female: A Dichotomy Worth Mastering 133

False Choices of Substance and Style 134

The Third Path: A Call to Intellectual Maturity 137

Principle 5 Discern Intent: Discovering the Real Truth Behind Imperfect Solutions 143

Judgment Versus Discernment 147

Survival Techniques of the Lizard 151

Discerning Their Truth, Even When You're Annoyed 153

First Truth Versus Second Truth Battles 156

Imperfect Solutions: Turf Wars 159

Discerning Intent in Emotionally Charged Debates 161

The Either/Or Debate That Tops Them All 164

Be the Hero (Somebody Has To) 168

Principle 6 Elevate Others: How to Change the Way Other People Think and Why You Should Even Bother to Try 171

Elevating the Conversation 173

Big Questions, Little Stories 175

The Doorbell Dynamic 175

Ask And Tell 178

Criticizing Versus Inviting 181

Locked and Loaded Questions 182

Once Upon a Triangle 183

Why Some Stories Work Better Than Others 186

How Sharing Perspectives Unlocks Creativity 189

Beyond Balance 190

A Special Note for Leaders 193

Why We're All Called to Lead 196

Principle 7 Be the Peace: How to Solve the Conflict in Our Head by Changing the Spirit in Our Heart 199

The Triangle of Truth: Seven Principles 205

The Triangle of Truth: Results 207

The Triangle of Truth: Tools 209

Acknowledgments 211

The Peace Alliance 215

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"A paradigm shift that has the power to change everything. The Triangle of Truth is ancient wisdom on a twenty-first-century platform."
-Marshall Goldsmith, author of What Got You Here Won't Get You There

"In a remarkably quick read, Lisa Earle McLeod shows us how we can avoid the pitfalls that stem from either/or thinking."
-Tom Rath, author of How Full Is Your Bucket

"Every CEO in America should read this book! Lisa Earle McLeod unlocks the secret of ending turf wars and creating a culture of accountability, candor, and creativity. Whether you work with one person or thousands, The Triangle of Truth is a must-read for anyone who wants their team to become more successful."
-Keith Ferrazzi, author of Who's Got Your Back and Never Eat Alone

"The Triangle of Truth is simple, elegant, and instantly effective- love this approach."
-Christiane Northrup, MD, author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and The Secret Pleasures of Menopause

"Most 'truths' about life are simple when you figure them out, and life is often very complicated until you do. In The Triangle of Truth, Lisa Earle McLeod describes and profusely illustrates the futility and destructiveness of either/or thinking and with equally profuse illustrations offers a startlingly simple third option- both, And. Poof!- the end of conflict, including war, and the beginning of peace by including the perspective of others. I salute this accessible manual for world peace and recommend it to everyone."
-Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want and co-creator of Imago Relationship Therapy

"Intellectual heft on inspirational wings."
-Michael Alvear, Creative Loafing

"Most of the mischief in our lives and in the world comes from our egregious inability to be both absolutely honest and absolutely respectful with each other at the same time. Lisa McLeod offers powerful, practical, and timely solutions to help us dramatically improve our lives and our organizations by striking at the root of this pernicious problem."
-Joseph Grenny, author of Influencer and Crucial Conversations

"In this ingeniously written book, Lisa shows us how to forever do away with the 'false dilemma,' the unnecessary use of the word 'or,' and instead find the best alternative. No, not compromise, not forgo your values or desires, but to step it up a notch and create a bigger pie for everyone involved. Be a peacemaker; not a peacekeeper. The information in this book has the potential to raise mass consciousness and result in a better, more prosperous, and more peaceful world."
-Bob Burg, coauthor of The Go- Giver

"Whether you're a man or a woman, read The Triangle of Truth and you'll finally understand how to get along with the other side."
-Gail Evans, former executive vice president of CNN News Group and author of Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman

"The Triangle of Truth is what comes out of the book oven when an extraordinary word chef like Lisa McLeod blends humor Cosby would envy with wisdom Buddha espoused and then adds a heaping cup of hit- you-where-you-live realism. You may giggle and sniffle but you will never be the same after reading this great book."
-Chip R. Bell, author of Take Their Breath Away

"I love this book! I LOVE Lisa's writing style; she's conversational with just the perfect edge of irreverence. She gives us a perspective on relationships and communication that can (and will) change peoples' lives."
-Joe Calloway, Business Consultant and author of A Class Of One

"Forget sneaky tactics or hardball negotiation. Whether you're selling a product, yourself, or an idea, The Triangle of Truth helps you get what you want and keep your integrity intact."
-Susan Harrow, author of Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul

"A breakthrough book...that rare combination of insight, humor, and truth will have people talking for years."
-Mike Robbins, author of Focus on the Good Stuff

"How smart people can get better at everything."
-Lisa Daily, Daytime correspondent and author of How to Date Like a Grown- up

"This is a brilliant work of art and one that has the potential to dramatically speed up growth in business and change politics, and also dramatically decrease divorce rates as well as increase good night's sleep! If we all can build a muscle in seeing the higher cause instead of wasting time and energy debating for the sake of being 'right,' amazing outcomes will occur!"
-Julie Gilbert, former executive vice president of Best Buy and founder of WOLF Means Business

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