Untold Stories: How I Survived a Child Porn Ring

by Timmy Fielding

Overview

By the time Timmy Fielding is ten years old, he has already experienced situations that no child should be exposed to. At home, he has a physically and mentally abusive mother and an absentee father. At his school, still out for summer vacation, Timmy is unwittingly lured into a pornography ring by his third-grade teacher. Once he is in, it is almost impossible for him to get out.

Untold Stories: How I Survived a Porn Ring tells Fielding's true life story. When not being beaten by his mother at home, he was being tortured, forced to perform sexual acts on other boys and men, and coerced into appearing in pornographic movies for a group of men who serve as his surrogate parents.

In the memoir, he tells of a scary and lonely world of abuse and pornography and the effects these environments had on him as a child. Untold Stories narrates Fielding's will to survive, thrive, and escape with the help of family and friends who stood by him during difficult times.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781462047147
Publisher:	iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date:	10/18/2011
Pages:	232
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.53(d)

Read an Excerpt

Untold Stories

How I Survived a Child Porn Ring

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By Timmy Fielding

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2011 Timmy Fielding
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4620-4714-7

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Chapter One

FANTASIES

We pulled into Rick and Todd's driveway and got out of the car. Rick met me at the door and gave me a big hug, lifting me off the ground. "I've missed you," he said.

Before I knew it, Todd came up and did the same thing, although not as enthusiastically. But he gave me a hug just the same.

I told them I missed them too because that was the polite thing to say. I wished I had the guts to tell them how they had hurt me in unimaginable ways and walk out the door. But that was just a fantasy I carried around to help keep me sane.

I saw Troy across the room and knew he really was glad to see me—at least he was glad for the right reasons. We had become pretty close, and I did my best to watch out for him.

The guys started talking, and Troy asked me, "Have you seen the garage lately?"

"No. I've been gone remember?"

He opened the door. They had dry walled the three walls so that it didn't look like a garage anymore. They were making improvements all the time. The ceiling was still open so they could hang us from the rafters when needed. Mirrors covered the walls. Basically all the same sick stuff was there, but Rick and Todd had altered the dark and gloomy look, brightening it up so they could catch much better details when filming. I felt sick to my stomach. I had felt exposed before. Now it would be even more intense.

Troy could see the horror on my face. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"No. I don't want to be here." I was trying to catch my breath.

Troy grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room. I leaned against the wall and slid down until I was sitting on the floor. I put my head between my legs and cried uncontrollably. Troy sat down next to me and put his arm around me to console me.

"What's wrong, Timmy? What's wrong?" he kept asking.

I couldn't even speak. All the emotion of the pain and humiliation I had experienced was suffocating me—shutting my brain off and stopping me from breathing right.

The men heard the sound and came to check it out. "What the hell is going on?" Roger asked.

Troy tried to answer but realized he didn't even know what to say.

Todd yelled, "Stop that crying and act your age! I'm sick of it!"

Rick found that statement ironic and told him, "He is acting his age, you idiot!"

Then he bent down and stood me on my feet, put his arm around me, and walked me to his office. He sat me down next to him on the couch and said, "Okay Timmy, relax and tell me what's wrong."

I still couldn't speak. I knew what I wanted to say would only piss him off, so I stayed silent.

A few minutes later, Carlos walked in, and I was so thankful. Rick stood up, and Carlos asked, "What's wrong?"

Rick said, "I don't know. Maybe he will talk to you."

"Timmy, are you all right?" Carlos asked. I nodded my head yes, hoping Rick would just leave the room so I could talk alone to Carlos. Instead he walked behind his desk and sat down.

Carlos sat next to me and asked, "So what's going on? Troy said you just freaked out. Why?"

"I got scared."

"Why?"

"I don't know," I mumbled.

Carlos put his arm around me, and I started to cry again. Finally, I could talk again and said, "Brian told me I was done. I thought I would never be here again. Brian told me I would be free, but I'm not. It's even worse than before."

Rick asked, "How's that?"

"Roger told me I was community property I'm no longer Brian's but I belong to the whole group."

"I hate to break it to you, kid, but you always were community property. You always belonged to the group. That's what Brian didn't understand."

That didn't make me feel any better.

Carlos asked Rick, "Can I have a moment alone with him?"

Rick stood up to leave. He came over to me first. He grabbed my chin and made me look him in the eye. "Didn't I tell you I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you?"

I just nodded my head.

"Well nothing has changed. If any of the men mistreat you, you tell me. We have new rules to make sure no one gets hurt. If they get out of line, you tell me. If what you say is true, then they have to leave. Do you understand me?"

I nodded my head yes again.

"And today, you will know what we are going to do before we do it." Then he left the room.

I looked at Carlos and said, "I can't believe you're here."

"I told you I would be. Are you okay?"

"It freaked me out when I walked into the garage."

"Why?"

"You saw the movies; you know the stuff that goes on in there."

"I saw two of the movies, and they were great. How many are there?"

He could see the shock on my face. It was embarrassing to me that Carlos watch any of them"

"How many movies did you make?"

I just looked at him, defeated. I wanted him to understand that I was made to make the movies. But Carlos was like Nick, and the whole thing excited him.

"I don't know how many movies there are. Or what happens to them when they are done? Who gets to see them? What if someone I know sees them?"

"That won't happen."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do."

"How" I thought no one was supposed to watch the ones they watched either! I thought they were only for Rick and Todd. I never dreamed you or Brian or, worse yet, some kid named Tyler would see them. But you all did. As a matter of fact, I'm afraid the videos might have left the group."

"You worry too much, Timmy. Just relax."

"You're going to be in the next one, Carlos. What if someone in your family sees it? Or someone at school?"

He thought for a minute and just laughed. "Come on. Nothing like that is going to happen." He stood up and reached for my hands and pulled me up. "Come on, cheer up! At least I'm here instead of Nick." I tried to put on a fake smile. "Are you telling me you would rather have Nick than me?"

I finally smiled and told him, "I would take you over Nick any day."

We walked into the kitchen where everyone was waiting. Todd asked, "Is he all right?"

Carlos put his arm around me and says, "Yeah, he's fine."

They told us to sit down. I had Troy and Carlos on each side of me. They told us what was going to happen in the first scene. There would be no adults in this movie, just kids. They would be standing on the sidelines telling us what to do.

We walked into the new and improved House of Pain and got ready to start filming. Carlos puts on a Zorro mask, it did nothing to hide his identity, and actually, he looked cool. Troy and I put on the wrist restraints that hooked up to a bar that was controlled by chains hanging from the rafters. The higher they lifted us, the closer our bodies got to each other. Finally our bodies were completely touching each other. We gently pushed away only to swing right back to each other. This was enough stimulation for two young boys who got excited easily.

The men were talking, and we could tell they liked it so far. Carlos walked around us with a black cloth whip. It looked like a leather belt that would hurt, but it didn't. He could swing it really hard, and it didn't bother us at all. Troy's head was on my shoulder, and we were acting like we were in pain.

Then Troy whispered to me, "You're poking me." We both started to laugh.

"What the hell are you two laughing about?" Carlos sounds pissed "He keeps poking me," Troy said.

"Well, he keeps poking me," I said.

Then all three of us laughed. The guys stopped filming, and Todd got mad, while Rick and Roger were laughing. They lowered the rod to give our arms time to rest and put blood back onto our hands, but mostly because they couldn't get us to stop laughing. We had a break for about fifteen minutes.

When that was over, Todd pulled out a real whip and threatened us, "If you laugh again, we'll use the real one."

I looked at Troy and he looked at me, and we both knew he wasn't kidding.

We all went back to playing our parts. With the new lighting, the room was getting really hot. We were sweating and tired after a few hours of filming, and the guys finally called it quits. Rick let us boys go into the Jacuzzi. We used to have to swim to the Jacuzzi because it was in the middle of the pool, but they had built a bridge so you could walk to it. I still preferred to jump in the pool and swim over. The water was heated, and it felt great. By the time I swam over the boys were sitting up to their necks in the hot water. I always had trouble getting in because the water felt too hot. I had to inch my way in. Carlos always enjoyed watching me squirm.

Carlos was talking excitedly to Troy about his part in the movie. He was a lot like Nick in that respect. Troy and I, on the other hand, were scared to death wondering who would watch it.

Troy went under the water and grabbed my feet, forcing me under. "There, Timmy, you don't have to struggle anymore. You're in." I smiled even though I didn't think it was funny.

We played around until the men joined us.

The guys were talking about the group party coming up on Saturday. I had almost forgotten about it. It had been about two months since I'd been to one. That seemed like a lifetime ago. The thought of being exposed and at the group mercy made me shiver. I could see that Troy was nervous too, so I consoled him. "Don't worry, Troy. I'll be there to protect you."

He smiled.

I got out of the Jacuzzi and dove into the pool. The water seemed cold now, but I knew my body would adjust.

Troy jumped in after me and yelled, "It's too cold."

"No. It's just right."

I swam under him and pulled him down. He gagged, and I laughed "Now we're even."

"Let's go back in the Jacuzzi," Troy said.

"I don't want to hear them talk about the party."

"Are you afraid that you're going to get it?"

"No. Bill told me I wouldn't be punished."

"Why?"

"Because it wasn't my fault"

"I still think you're going to get it."

"Thanks, Troy. I feel better now."

"Sorry, I just think you are."

I swam away so I wouldn't have to hear it anymore.

Troy followed. "How did it feel to be out of the group?" He asked the question because, after you had been in for a while, you were made to think that there wasn't a life worth living outside the group. That's what Carlos and Nick had been taught" Hell it what I believed. If you were in the group, you were special—above regular kids; you were a chosen one of the select few. You were given love, money, and attention. I guess we had all been looking for parts of that when we were recruited.

"It was scary at first. I felt lonely, but it got better as time went by."

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" Rick asked.

"Nothing," Troy answered.

"Then get back in here before your balls shrivel up," Rick demanded"

Troy jumped in quickly, and while I was making my way in, Rick joked, "Too late for you, Timmy."

I got in quicker so they would quit looking.

Roger said, "Carlos, get your stuff so we can go. You too, Troy, I'm taking you both home tonight."

I thought Roger was my ride too, so I asked, "What about me?"

"Rick will take you home later."

I didn't act disappointed or upset even though I was. If I showed it that would really pissed Todd off, and I knew I wasn't in a passion to make him mad now, It would be twice as hard on me later. Carlos and Troy got out and they both gave me a look that said better you than me.

Rick and Todd stayed in the Jacuzzi another ten to fifteen minutes giving Roger time to leave. So Then they both stared at me. Todd said, "Wow Rick. Timmy handled that pretty well."

"We sure missed you while you were gone," Rick added. "We didn't think Brian would ever give up your location."

"So ... you thought you could get away from us?" Todd's voice got loud.

I felt like I was at an inquisition. I had no idea what they had in store for me, and I didn't want to piss them off.

"Todd, why are you getting mad at me" You know I always do what I'm told."

"Then why did you leave?" Todd asked.

"I was doing what Brian told me to do."

"Well, now you are going to do what we want you to do!" Todd demanded.

He was looking for a fight where there was none. I just wanted to get it over with. They led me to the new studio, where all their sick, twisted toys were. They tied me down to that beam that they'd made famous in their films. They put the ball in my mouth so they couldn't hear me scream. They did unspeakable things to me, the worst ever. Not only did they intentionally cause terrible pain, but they took me to a new level of humiliation. They used objects and said and did things that I didn't know humans were capable of.

When they were done, they knew it had gone too far. I could see it in their eyes, they were both ashamed. As soon as they took the straps off, I yanked the ball out of my mouth. I was crying and gasping for air. I couldn't talk. My mind couldn't take in what had just happened, and I was going into shock. I stood there staring at both of them with shock and horror on my face as blood dripped down my legs from my butt. Even after all I had been through, I had never had these kinds of injuries before. I could barely stand, but I used all my strength to walk out of that room.

They walked me to a bathroom to clean me up. I knew the things they had done were not allowed, and someone was going to pay! Rick was begging me to forgive him, telling me he was sorry. Todd walked out, mad because Rick was apologizing. Rick cleaned me up, and I got dressed. I had stopped crying, but I was still in shock from the trauma of it all.

Rick walked me to the living room, and he was still trying to get me to talk and accept his apology.

"Knock it off, Rick!" Todd yelled. "If you keep apologizing to him, he'll believe we actually did something wrong."

I couldn't keep silent anymore. Even though my body was still shaking, I yelled, "I'm telling Bill!"

That must have been the magic word because it stopped Todd in his tracks. They both looked at each other, and I saw fear in their eyes.

"He told me that no one was allowed to hurt me. He would protect me and I was to tell him if anyone got out of line with me."

Todd bowed his head, and Rick said, "Look, we're sorry."

Todd pulled out his wallet and said, "Come on, Timmy, we can come to some kind of an agreement, can't we?"

I didn't know what to say. It had taken everything I had to say what I already said. I sat down on the couch and something inside me told me not to push Todd too far. I kind of felt like my life could be in danger at this point. Just thinking like that gave me goose bumps. He handed me five hundred dollars, and I took it. Then I looked at Rick, and he pulled some more money out of his pocket. They were rich, and I knew the money meant nothing to them, but staying in the group meant everything. And they had put that in jeopardy when they'd crossed over the line tonight.

Todd asked, "Is it a deal?"

I nodded my head yes.

Rick drove me home, and we were both silent. The silence was so great it sounded loud to me. The radio was off and, with our windows rolled up, the other cars just made a muffled sound. I knew it was so late I would probably get in trouble at home, but that was the least of my worries tonight.

When we got close to my house, Rick broke the silence, "Timmy, you can't tell anyone. I know you are good at keeping secrets. Can you keep this one?"

I nodded my head yes and pointed to my house, and Rick drove past it a little before letting me out.

"You don't live that far."

I just gave him a look that said, drop dead.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't walk into the house this late without getting an ass whooping. I can't have all this money on me. You are going to have to hold it for me. I will keep forty, and you keep the rest."

"How bad do you think you will get it?"

"I'm thinking after what you did to me, an ass whooping is nothing." But I knew that wasn't really true. My mom could be ruthless when she was mad. I shrugged my shoulders and walked away as best I could.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Untold Stories by Timmy Fielding Copyright © 2011 by Timmy Fielding. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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