Untying Parent Anxiety (Years 5-8): 18 Myths that Have You in Knots - And How to Get Free

by Lisa Sugarman

Overview

Raising the perfect child . . . it’s our dream as parents.

But the reality is: the perfect child doesn’t exist. Yet parents everywhere are putting the full-court press on their kids to be perfect, fixating on raising them to be smarter, faster, more successful, and more popular than their peers. And that’s making today’s parents and their children crazy.

In Untying Parent Axniety, nationally syndicated humor columnist and author Lisa Sugarman reminds us that our kids aren’t supposed to be perfect. (And neither are we.) They’re going to screw up, make mistakes, and lose their way. And as soon as we embrace the idea that parenthood is not a straight line, we unlock everyone’s full potential.

Drawing on her life as the perfectly imperfect mother of two daughters and more than a decade of working in the school system, Sugarman deconstructs some of the biggest myths facing parents and offers advice and strategies to help soothe anxious moms and dads.

Cycling through everything from friend drama and separation anxiety to playing nice and emotional development, Untying Parent Anxiety is a funny but honest journey through the most common stages of raising kids that reinforces that parenthood is a beautiful, imperfect work in progress.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781944822576
Publisher:	Familius
Publication date:	03/07/2017
Pages:	208
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Lisa Sugarman is a mom, a parenting author, a nationally syndicated humor columnist, and a podcast host, creating content that helps empower parents, especially moms, by giving them permission to embrace their perfect imperfectness. She’s also a survivor of suicide loss, losing her father at age ten, and a proud member and ally of the LGBTQIA+ community. Lisa writes the syndicated opinion column It Is What It Is and is the author of How To Raise Perfectly Imperfect Kids And Be Ok With It, Untying Parent Anxiety, and LIFE: It Is What It Is, available on Amazon, at Barnes & Noble, and everywhere books are sold. Sugarman is also the co-host of the podcast LIFE Unfiltered on iTunes and iHeartRadio, and a regular contributor on Healthline Parenthood, GrownAndFlown, TODAY Parents, Thrive Global, Care.com, LittleThings, and More Content Now. Lisa lives with her husband and two daughters just north of Boston. Visit her online at www.lisasugarman.com. She digs company. 

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Table of Contents

Preface i

Introduction 1

How to Use This Book 5

Myth #1 Good grades are what matter most 7

Myth #2 My kid will never make it out in the real world without me 15

Myth #3 Drop-off disasters are inevitable 23

Myth #4 My kid is making new friends now, so I'm gonna get replaced 31

Myth #5 My kid is a jerk and will never have any friends 37

Myth #6 If I punish my kid, she'll hate me 47

Myth #7 My kid will never grow out of this Jekyll-and-Hyde phase 57

Myth #8 Drama is a middle school and high school problem 67

Myth #9 We're all speaking the same language 77

Myth #10 Our kids need to join as many extracurricular groups and clubs as possible to stay competitive 87

Myth #11 Kids should be seen and not heard 97

Myth #12 Technology is wrecking our kids 105

Myth #13 My kids are too immature or too little for chores 115

Myth #14 Possession is nine-tenths of the law 127

Myth #15 My child is behind the eight ball, and she'll never catch up 137

Myth #16 IQ is more important than EQ 149

Myth #17 Saying "No" to my kids makes me a horrible parent 159

Myth #18 Our kids are born prewired with their temperament and attitude 171

Just a Sec … We're Not Quite Done Yet 181

Afterword 187

Sources 189

Editorial Reviews

"Writer and humorist Sugarman (Life) advises parents with kids ages five to eight to stop trying to raise perfectionists and let kids make some mistakes. In brief, readable essays, she tackles such myths as 'technology is wrecking our kids' and 'if I punish my kid, she’ll hate me,' and encourages parents to remember that the goal is not 'to raise perfect kids but . . . to raise well-adjusted . . . people who can handle whatever life throws at them.' From moms and dads who constantly compare their child to others to those who bail little Johnny or Susie out of every time they forget their lunch or mitten, Sugarman’s sane, funny advice will ring true with today’s parents. VERDICT Sugarman has quite the online following with her nationally syndicated opinion column, 'It Is What It Is.' Excellent for public library collections."
—Library Journal

"Raising the perfect child is the aspiration of all parents. But the reality is: the perfect child doesn't exist. Yet parents everywhere are putting the full-court press on their kids to be perfect, fixating on raising them to be smarter, faster, more successful, and more popular than their peers. And that's making today's parents and their children crazy. In Untying Parent Anxiety (Years 5-8): 18 Myths that Have You in Knots—And How to Get Free by nationally syndicated humor columnist and author Lisa Sugarman reminds us that our kids aren't supposed to be perfect—and neither are we as their parents. Our kids are going to screw up, make mistakes, and lose their way. And as soon as we embrace the idea that parenthood is not a straight line, we unlock everyone's full potential. Drawing on own her life as the perfectly imperfect mother of two daughters and more than a decade of working in the school system, Sugarman deftly deconstructs some of the biggest myths facing parents and offers advice and strategies to help soothe anxious moms and dads. Cycling through everything from friend drama and separation anxiety to playing nice and emotional development, Untying Parent Anxiety is a funny but honest journey through the most common stages of raising kids that reinforces that parenthood is a beautiful, imperfect work in progress. Simply stated, Untying Parent Anxiety is a highly recommended addition to personal reading lists of parents with children between the ages of 5 and 8, as well as community library Parenting Skills collections."
—Midwest Book Review

"As a real dad of two boys and a TV dad of three, I know the unrealistic expectations facing today’s parents.  Everyone’s shooting for perfection. But in Untying Parent Anxiety, Lisa Sugarman reminds us that screwing up is the only thing we can really count on. And that’s good by me, because perfect’s not that much fun for anyone."
—Andy Buckley, actor, star of Odd Mom Out The Office, father of two

"Through humor, street smarts and life experience, Ms. Sugarman presents a relatable, easily applicable "how to" coping manual that any parent can reference during those tense parenting moments we all face. Untying Parent Anxiety normalizes challenges that most people face and offers level-headed, every-day practical responses that lets the reader feel like they aren't alone."
—Melissa Kaplowitch, Ph.D., Counseling Psychology Professor, Salem State University, mom of three

"Lisa Sugarman has finally put out to the universe what every parent needs to hear but what every teacher and pediatrician can't get away with saying. Kids need to be kids above all. Lisa does a stellar job highlighting how to not just let a kid be a kid but explains how parents can swiftly and responsibly teach our children how to live a balanced, responsible, and happy life full of it all—chores, electronics, social media and more! This is a  must read if you really want to learn the truth about not just being a good parent but a happy one too!"
—Debra Fox Gansenberg, MSW, LICSW, Co-Founder and Director of School Services, New Beginnings Counseling Service, P.C., mom of three

“Navigating this crazy thing called parenthood is a little easier with Lisa on your side.”
—Kathy Doody, General Manager of Being a Mom.life

“This book is like having a glass of wine with a good friend who gets what it’s like to be a mom in this crazy world!”
—Kathy Doody, General Manager of Being a Mom.life

"Lisa's writing is hilarious. She delivers parenting advice without judgement, in a light, witty way that makes the reader feel like it's coming from a good friend."
—Lauren Fowler, Manager, Spirit of '76 Bookstore

“There really is no manual for parenting. I could use a step-by-step, year-by-year, drama-by-drama handbook and Lisa Sugarman is the only person who’s come close to delivering one. She single-handedly makes you feel human, like you can still breathe, and like there’s still hope for you as a parent. Do you know the type of writing you never want to stop reading? The kind that makes you upset when a chapter or a book ends?  Lisa Sugarman does that to me.  Every. Single. Time.”
—Courtney Monaco, mom of two

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lisa. As a mom of two active, and we'll say ‘savvy’ young men, parenting can occasionally feel like a swirling vortex of doom—too many decisions, too many different ways to tack, and too much to do. But you’ve broken it down beautifully, and given me my new mantra geared to raising good people: Be Consistent. Stay on Task. Allow for Imperfections. And Love the Ride.”
—Kelly Calnan, mom of two

“Lisa's perspective is so reassuring and spot on, and PRACTICAL. Reading her work is 100% like being able to pull your sage girlfriend off the bookshelf on a whim and tap into her expertise. The sections about screens and about chores? I was high-fiving her with my mind.
At a time when parenting seems fraught with contradiction (Kids don't spend enough time outside! You can't let your child walk to the playground alone!), Lisa Sugarman reassures us that overthinking is not a required element of great parenting.”
—Alison Carey, mom of four

“Yes! This book works! As a mother, grandmother of nine and former teacher, I found myself saying, Yes, Lisa, you're right on the mark!  Common sense and straight talk go a long way in parenting today’s youngsters, and that’s what you get in Untying Parent Anxiety.”
—Frances Sheridan, retired kindergarten teacher, mother of four, fortunate grandmother of nine
 
"Lisa's parental reflections and coaching instill a sense of empowerment, reinforcing that the art of parenting is a progressive process of patience, pitfalls and planfulness."
—Jill Roffman Levine MSW, LICSW, Parenting Child Specialist and mother of two.

From the Publisher

Writer and humorist Sugarman (Life) advises parents with kids ages five to eight to stop trying to raise perfectionists and let kids make some mistakes. In brief, readable essays, she tackles such myths as “technology is wrecking our kids” and “if I punish my kid, she’ll hate me,” and encourages parents to remember that the goal is not “to raise perfect kids but…to raise well-adjusted…people who can handle whatever life throws at them.” From moms and dads who constantly compare their child to others to those who bail little Johnny or Susie out of every time they forget their lunch or mitten, Sugarman’s sane, funny advice will ring true with today’s parents. VERDICT Sugarman has quite the online following with her nationally syndicated opinion column, “It Is What It Is.” Excellent for public library collections

—Library Journal

Raising the perfect child is the aspiration of all parents. But the reality is: the perfect child doesn't exist. Yet parents everywhere are putting the full-court press on their kids to be perfect, fixating on raising them to be smarter, faster, more successful, and more popular than their peers. And that's making today's parents and their children crazy. In "Untying Parent Anxiety (Years 5-8): 18 Myths that Have You in Knots - And How to Get Free" by nationally syndicated humor columnist and author Lisa Sugarman reminds us that our kids aren't supposed to be perfect -- and neither are we as their parents. Our kids are going to screw up, make mistakes, and lose their way. And as soon as we embrace the idea that parenthood is not a straight line, we unlock everyone's full potential. Drawing on own her life as the perfectly imperfect mother of two daughters and more than a decade of working in the school system, Sugarman deftly deconstructs some of the biggest myths facing parents and offers advice and strategies to help soothe anxious moms and dads. Cycling through everything from friend drama and separation anxiety to playing nice and emotional development, "Untying Parent Anxiety" is a funny but honest journey through the most common stages of raising kids that reinforces that parenthood is a beautiful, imperfect work in progress. Simply stated, "Untying Parent Anxiety" is a highly recommended addition to personal reading lists of parents with children between the ages of 5 and 8, as well as community library Parenting Skills collections.

—Midwest Book Review

"As a real dad of two boys and a TV dad of three, I know the unrealistic expectations facing today’s parents. Everyone’s shooting for perfection. But inUntying Parent Anxiety,Lisa Sugarman reminds us that screwing up is the only thing we can really count on. And that’s good by me, because perfect’s not that much fun for anyone."

—Andy Buckley, actor, star of Odd Mom Out & The Office, father oftwo

Through humor, street smarts and life experience, Ms. Sugarman presentsa relatable, easily applicable"how to" coping manual that any parent can reference during those tense parenting moments we all face.Untying Parent Anxietynormalizes challenges that most people face and offers level-headed, every-day practical responses that lets the reader feel like they aren't alone.

–Melissa Kaplowitch, Ph.D.,Counseling Psychology Professor, Salem State University, mom of three

"Lisa Sugarman has finally put out to the universe what every parent needs to hear but what every teacher and pediatrician can't get away with saying.Kids need to be kids above all.Lisa does a stellar job highlighting how to not just let a kid be a kid but explains how parents can swiftly and responsibly teach our children how to live a balanced, responsible, and happy life full of it all—chores, electronics, social media and more! This is amustread if you really want to learn the truth about not just being a good parent but a happy one too!"

—Debra Fox Gansenberg, MSW, LICSW, Co-Founder and Director of School Services, New Beginnings Counseling Service, P.C., mom of three




Navigating this crazy thing called parenthood is a little easier with Lisa on your side.

-Kathy Doody, General Manager of Being a Mom.life





“This book is like having a glass of wine with a good friend who gets what it’s like to be a mom in this crazy world!”

-Kathy Doody, General Manager of Being a Mom.life



"Lisa's writing is hilarious. She delivers parenting advice without judgement, in a light, witty way that makes the reader feel like it's coming from a good friend."

–Lauren Fowler, Manager, Spirit of '76 Bookstore

There really is no manual for parenting. I could use a step-by-step, year-by-year, drama-by-drama handbook and Lisa Sugarman is the only person who’s come close to delivering one. She single-handedly makes you feel human, like you can still breathe, and like there’s still hope for you as a parent. Do you know the type of writing you never want to stop reading? The kind that makes you upset when a chapter or a book ends? Lisa Sugarman does that to me. Every. Single. Time.

–Courtney Monaco, mom of two

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lisa. As a mom of two active, and we'll say ‘savvy’ young men, parenting can occasionally feel like a swirling vortex of doom—too many decisions, too many different ways to tack, and too much to do. But you’ve broken it down beautifully, and given me my new mantra geared to raising good people:Be Consistent. Stay on Task. Allow for Imperfections. And Love the Ride.

–Kelly Calnan, mom of two

Lisa's perspective is so reassuring and spot on, and PRACTICAL. Reading her work is 100% like being able to pull your sage girlfriend off the bookshelf on a whim and tap into her expertise. The sections about screens and about chores? I was high-fiving her with my mind.

At a time when parenting seems fraught with contradiction (Kids don't spend enough time outside! You can't let your child walk to the playground alone!),Lisa Sugarman reassures us that overthinking is not a required element of great parenting.

-Alison Carey, mom of four









“Yes! This book works! As a mother, grandmother of nine and former teacher, I found myself saying,Yes, Lisa, you're right on the mark! Common sense and straight talk go a long way in parenting today’s youngsters, and that’s what you get inUntying Parent Anxiety.”



—Frances Sheridan, retired kindergarten teacher, mother of four, fortunate grandmother of nine






"Lisa's parental reflections and coaching instill a sense of empowerment, reinforcing that the art of parenting is a progressive process of patience, pitfalls and planfulness."

—Jill Roffman Levine MSW, LICSW,Parenting & Child Specialistand mother of two.

Endorsements

03/15/2017
Writer and humorist Sugarman (Life) advises parents with kids ages five to eight to stop trying to raise perfectionists and let kids make some mistakes. In brief, readable essays, she tackles such myths as "technology is wrecking our kids" and "if I punish my kid, she'll hate me," and encourages parents to remember that the goal is not "to raise perfect kids but…to raise well-adjusted…people who can handle whatever life throws at them." From moms and dads who constantly compare their child to others to those who bail little Johnny or Susie out every time they forget their lunch or mitten, Sugarman's sane, funny advice will ring true with today's parents. Verdict Sugarman has quite the online following with her nationally syndicated opinion column, "It Is What It Is." Excellent for public library collections.

Library Journal