What Do We Need Men For?: A Modest Proposal

by E. Jean Carroll

Overview

When E. Jean Carroll--possibly the liveliest woman in the world and author of the "Ask E. Jean" advice column in Elle Magazine, realized that her eight million readers and question-writers all seemed to have one thing in common--problems caused by men--she hit the road. Crisscrossing the country with her blue-haired poodle, Lewis Carroll, E. Jean stopped in every town named after a woman between Eden, Vermont and Tallulah, Louisiana to ask women the crucial question: What Do We Need Men For? E. Jean gave her rollicking road trip a sly, stylish turn when she deepened the story, creating a list called "The Most Hideous Men of My Life," and began to reflect on her own sometimes very dark history with the opposite sex. What advice would she have given to her past selves--as Miss Cheerleader USA and Miss Indiana University? Or as the fearless journalist, television host, and eventual advice columnist she became? E. Jean intertwines the stories of the fascinating people she meets on her road trip with her "horrible history with the male sex" (including mafia bosses, media titans, boyfriends, husbands, a serial killer, and a president), creating a decidedly dark yet hopeful, hilarious, and thrilling narrative. Her answer to the question What Do We Need Men For? will shock men and delight women.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781250343253
Publisher:	St. Martin's Publishing Group
Publication date:	07/02/2019
Pages:	288
Sales rank:	73,941
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.50(h) x 0.65(d)

About the Author

E. Jean Carroll writes the longest, currently-running advice column in the U.S., Ask E. Jean. It has 8 million readers. She has been published in New York, Rolling Stone, GQ, Glamour, and was a contributing editor at Esquire and Outside. She wrote for Saturday Night Live, was the host of the Ask E. Jean TV show, and has been a frequent guest on The Today Show. She is the founder of Tawkify, Inc. E. Jean lives in a cabin on an island in the Wawayanda Mountains in Upstate New York.

Table of Contents

Prologue 1

I "I'm Nothing but Your Punching Bag and Slave." Elnom, Indiana 7

II "Get the F_Out of the Middle of the F_ing Road, You F_ing Stupid C_!" Cynthiana, Indiana 29

III "I'd Kill Him!" Anita, Indiana 47

IV "She's … Uh, Having Boy Problems Right Now." Bonnie, Illinois 67

V "I've Showed It to a Lot of People, but Nobody Can Tell Me What It Is." Ina, Illinois 79

VI "I'm Reporting You to the Queen Committee!" Jennette, Arkansas; Blytheville, Arkansas; Pocahontas, Missouri 95

VII "He Will Actually Put His Head Down So Molly and Sally Can Pee on His Face." Mananna, Arkansas; Eudora, Arkansas 127

VIII "I'm Gonna Run for Mayor!" Tallulah, Louisiana; Pearl, Mississippi; Verona, Mississippi 159

IX "Opportunity Is a Beautiful Woman. You Have to Grab Her." Florence, Alabama; Bonnieville, Kentucky 187

X "Just Cuz You Have Boobs Doesn't Mean You're Not Strong!" Elizabethtown, Kentucky; Marysville, Ohio; Elyria, Ohio; Seneca Falls, New York 219

XI "Go Try This On." Angelica, New York 235

XII "Let's Do It!" Eden, Vermont 251

Epilogue 265

Author's Note 269

Acknowledgments 271

Editorial Reviews

A Washington Post TEN BOOKS TO READ IN JULY | A The Washington Post 50 NOTABLE WORKS OF NONFICTION IN 2019 | Los Angeles Times’ 7 BUZZWORTHY BOOKS TO READ THIS JULY | TOP 5 HOT BOOKS by The National Book Review| Refinery 29’s GET YOUR HANDS ON THESE JULY 2019 BOOKS | Bustle's 27 NEW BOOKS OUT IN JULY 2019 TO GET YOU THROUGH THE SWEATY DAYS OF SUMMER | A Dallas Morning News 100 best books of 2019 pick | 6 BEST BOOKS TO READ THIS JULY by Town and Country

"If you haven’t read [E. Jean Carroll's] memoir, What Do We Need Men For? I cannot recommend it enough."— The Stranger, Seattle

"Every chapter, every paragraph, every sentence contains some fresh, good-humored turn of phrase." —Mary Norris, The New Yorker

“Roving, curious, compassionate, whimsical.” –Megan Garber, The Atlantic

"Carroll's lively prose careens in constant pursuit of pleasure...indefatigably funny and full of life." –Lindsay Zoladz, The Ringer

"Carroll has never been interested in fulfilling expectations ... You can read the tale in her book, and you should." —Next Tribe

"With lively prose, Carroll analyzes women's experiences while driving her polka-dotted Prius through American towns with female names. When her own personal narrative grows dark, she bounces back with merry chapters devoted to quizzes and traveling expenses...This jarring structure is a metaphor for how the 'Silent Generation' made girls swallow the abuse they couldn't reveal..." —Ann Votaw, The Journal Gazette

"Fans of her longtime “Ask E. Jean” column in Elle will recognize her original voice ...Carroll’s descriptions of the “hideous men” in her life stand out." —Elizabeth Taylor and Adam Cohen, The National Book Review

"An entertaining and rage making romp of a read." –Clara Bingham, The Guardian

"Whimsical...a book that approaches its high-concept road trip with tongue firmly in cheek." —Constance Grady, Vox

“Politically and socially urgent.” —Cristina Arreola, Bustle

“Quirky” —Kim Hubbard, People

“ELLE's own agony aunt, the incomparable E. Jean Carroll, went on a road trip to ask women a very simple question... Perfection.” —Estelle Tang, ELLE

“Explosive” —Elena Nicolau, Refinery 29

“A fun-fueled feminist response to the current cultural and political climate, and I expected to laugh my way through its pages. I wasn’t wrong about the laughter.” —Melanie Rock, Bustle

"A memoir by way of an old-fashioned American road trip...No reader of Carroll’s column will be surprised to find that such violent moments are interspersed with huge helpings of levity." —Keziah Weir, Vanity Fair

“What [the book] offers, though, is a kind of literary impressionism, based on 75 years of lived experience—a sense of what it feels like to have pulsing veins and fiery nerves and a teeming mind and be caught within the cold infrastructures of sexism.” —Megan Garber, The Atlantic

“The writing… is just riveting. But it’s also journalistically very powerful, very precise, very careful” —Lawrence O’Donnell

"E. Jean is a terrific writer; she has mastered the difficult task of making her words sound like they're delivered in person, over a cocktail. " —Monica Hesse, The Washington Post

"Very funny” —The Brian Lehrer Show

"Fantastically written but so friendly to follow...Carroll’s book is readable in a way the Great Thinkers are not and can never be." —B. David Zarley, Paste Magazine

“Thoughtful, powerful” —Adam Rathe, Town and Country

“The most bitterly funny, fantastically furious book to explode out of the #metoo moment.” —Dani Shapiro, bestselling author of Family History

“Buy this book.” —Ed Kosner, former Editor-in-Chief of Newsweek, New York, and Esquire

“There isn’t another voice out there like E Jean’s.” —Lorraine Candy, Editor-in-Chief, London Sunday Times

“E. Jean is a know it all.” —Jane Smiley

"E. Jean Carroll is a force of nature, whose natural vibrancy has held readers in rapture for decades." —Nina Garcia, Editor-in-Chief, ELLE

From the Publisher

Advice columnist E. Jean Carroll brings her unique brand of no- nonsense truth to her new audiobook. Carroll sets out on a cross- country tour, visiting only towns with female names, eating only female-named foods, and wearing only clothes designed by women. Her goal is to ask women everywhere: What do we need men for? Carroll’s delivery is both irreverent and sarcastic as she covers topics as diverse as the ways women are discounted daily and the horrors of sexual abuse. In narrating her own audiobook, Carroll shows her sense of humor with her inflections. Sometimes laugh-out-loud funny but often deeply uncomfortable, Carroll’s audiobook never shies away from what she wants to say when she wants to say it. V.B. © AudioFile 2019, Portland, Maine

OCTOBER 2019 - AudioFile

Advice columnist E. Jean Carroll brings her unique brand of no- nonsense truth to her new audiobook. Carroll sets out on a cross- country tour, visiting only towns with female names, eating only female-named foods, and wearing only clothes designed by women. Her goal is to ask women everywhere: What do we need men for? Carroll’s delivery is both irreverent and sarcastic as she covers topics as diverse as the ways women are discounted daily and the horrors of sexual abuse. In narrating her own audiobook, Carroll shows her sense of humor with her inflections. Sometimes laugh-out-loud funny but often deeply uncomfortable, Carroll’s audiobook never shies away from what she wants to say when she wants to say it. V.B. © AudioFile 2019, Portland, Maine

OCTOBER 2019 - AudioFile