What You Think of Me Is None of My Business

What You Think of Me Is None of My Business

by Terry Cole-Whittaker
What You Think of Me Is None of My Business

What You Think of Me Is None of My Business

by Terry Cole-Whittaker


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You have a God-given right to happiness, wealth, and success. In this dynamic book by Reverend Terry Cole-Whittaker, you’ll learn how to cast off the shackles of fear and false beliefs to discover your own inner path—the route to your inborn talents and limitless potential!
Explore your deepest feelings with self-awareness strategies and consciousness-raising exercises. Learn how to cope with physical, mental, and spiritual problems, involving love, money, risk-taking, relationships, guilt, self-reliance, self-image, sexuality, and more. It’s all here in one astonishing book: the motivation, tools, and tactics to resolve personal conflicts—and change your life forever!

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780593333075
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date: 12/01/2020
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 137,466
Product dimensions: 5.10(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Terry Cole-Whittaker is considered to be one of the premier inspirational and spiritual teachers and empowerment speakers in the world. Her Emmy-winning television ministry, “With Love, Rev. Terry,” aired on 400 stations, reached millions and inspired many to pursue a life of service, life-coaching, spiritual teaching, and healing. Dr. Terry’s pioneering work opened the door for a plethora of motivational speakers, best-selling authors, ministers, and leaders to come forth and succeed, and her ministry outreach and bestselling books made metaphysical teachings part of mainstream America. Her positive methods have reached tens of thousands through classes, seminars, workshops, counseling, TV and radio.

Read an Excerpt





This is a book about power and how you can use it to be what you want to be, to do what you want to do, and to have what you want in life.


The unsettling fact is that, though each of us is born with this power, there are often times in later life when we seem headed downhill. One purpose of this book is to explain why this happens and why failures, both personal and material, are unnecessary and, in fact, unnatural.


The power that each of us is born with is a part of God, the spiritual aspect of our being, which is perfect. This power is a creator, or generator, of energy that is either potential or kinetic. Potential energy is passive energy, energy that is stored, waiting to be used. Kinetic energy is active energy, energy that is being used. As active energy, this power is neutral and may be used to create sickness, loneliness, poverty, crime, or war-or good health, wealth, peace, friendship, happiness, and fulfillment.


God has given us what some call free will, but what I prefer to call the option of choice. We have the choice to use our power positively or negatively, constructively or destructively. "If that is so," you may ask, "why on earth would anyone choose the negative? No one would consciously make such a choice." And that's the point! Most of our choices are made unconsciously. It is another purpose of this book to teach you how to heighten your consciousness, your self-awareness, so that you can choose consciously.


The mechanism by which this energy becomes implemented is our mind, our mental attitudes, which, in turn, determine our belief systems, the way we perceive things. As the power is implemented-as our ideas take form, if you will-they become the reality in our lives, the reality of failure or the reality of success.


Think of your mind as the mold or blueprint that determines the shape the power takes, the form in which it expresses itself. This mold or blueprint is made up of your beliefs which, in a sense, are your memories and interpretations of very early life experiences or even prenatal existence. Unfortunately, we misinterpret many of these early experiences and bury these misinterpretations in our unconscious mind, where they become the basis for the beliefs that cause us so much trouble later in our lives.


And it is not accidental that we make these misinterpretations because, from the moment of birth, we are surrounded by other people who are imposing their misinterpretations upon us. They usually do so unconsciously because they, too, are not aware of how the power and the universe work. Because we get so caught up in trying to please these people, we spend a large part of our time worrying about what they think of us. So it is that these mistaken belief systems, with all of their attendant misery, are handed down from generation to generation.


Fortunately, our minds are designed so that we can change them, and it is the central purpose of this book to show each of us how we can break the vicious circle of mistaken beliefs that presently go from parent to child and, in turn, to parent.


The marvelous thing is that the universe is designed so that you can be joyful, abundant, fully self-expressed, loving, and loved. The game of life is rigged in your favor, and the power is within you to change your life. It has always been there, but you must learn to accept it and to use it. One caution: only you can do it. This book can show you how, but the responsibility for acceptance and implementation is totally yours.


The principles are simple, for the rule of life is that ideas create forms or, put another way, that what you believe creates your reality. Simple? Yes! Easy? No! Yet, there are people right now who, through the application of these principles, are transcending their lives and becoming an inspiration to others seeking the way.


As you look around you, notice that no two people have identical lives. Some people seem to have it all: life goes their way. Others struggle and never seem to get their act together. Is it just luck or an act of God that disease and loneliness are "dished out" to some while others receive health and happiness? You may not have discovered it yet, but life is not "fair." Yet life is "just." Your life is in your hands. The power is there. The potential is there waiting for you to direct it.


Now, I'm not talking about some kind of light positive thinking. I don't want you to settle for some relative improvement in your life. I'm asking you to settle for no less than a total transformation of your life. It is ignorance that encourages us to settle for the relative good rather than the absolute. My intention is that you will be transformed and begin to live in Heaven on earth now, as has been promised by Jesus and illumined prophets of other religions.


The first truth I want you to accept is that you are already a complete person, with nothing missing. That's the way God made you.


The second truth is that you are a creative being. That is your nature, and you're always creating.


The third truth is that you create from your beliefs about God, yourself, and life in general.


The fourth truth is that you have made decisions about yourself, others, and life that were once conscious decisions but have become unconscious ones and yet continue to direct your decisions and to determine the quality of your life.


The fifth truth is that the universe is totally supportive and cooperative. It says "yes" to your ideas, to both the good ones and the bad ones. It says "yes" even to an idea that will destroy you. So, no one is coming along to save you. Only you can do that.


There's the story of the man who fell into a deep hole and yelled for someone to throw him a rope. When it finally became apparent to him that no rope was forthcoming, he grew tired of waiting and got out by himself. What I'm getting at is that the same power that traps you also frees you. You have the power, and you've always used it. You have no choice over that. The power flows continually and will be used, no matter what. You do have a choice as to how you use this power.


Your transformation depends upon conscious choices. And your conscious choices depend upon your increased awareness of yourself, upon your willingness to practice the art and skill of self-observation. Begin to stand back from yourself and observe your thoughts, beliefs, reactions to people, to those who push your buttons and to those who don't. Observe your body reactions. Notice when you are tense or relaxed. These are messages from your body, and you will learn to understand them. Observe the results in your life and recognize that the physical universe doesn't lie. Accept that you can only reap what you sow.


As you begin to observe, try to do so as a nonjudgmental observer. That's not easy, but you can be nonjudgmental with practice. You'll probably notice that you are more negative than you thought. Try not to worry, but continue to observe. The other steps will be revealed when appropriate in later parts of this book.


One of the biggest obstacles we create in our lives is our resistance to change. Most of us combat change from the day we are born until the day we die. Knowing that change is inevitable doesn't stop us from fighting it. We want stability everywhere and think that's the way to security. We want all of our friends, our lovers, our jobs to remain the same. That way, we think, we'll be safe.


In this book you will learn that, when you are at one with God, you can quit resisting change. You will learn to accept that all expressions of God are dynamic and that, consequently, various aspects of ourselves and our lives are always changing. In this book you will learn to be change's beneficiary, not its victim. You will learn how to avoid driving yourself crazy anticipating how you're going to handle situations before they happen. You will learn not to fear what others may think of your actions. You will learn that happiness is simply choosing and accepting what is going on in your life, for when you know that God, not others, is your source, you have the choice to move into life assertively and to work with change. You will learn to let go and allow God to support you.


For many, the notion of such a relationship with God is uncomfortable. That's because many of us have been taught that God is fearsome, angry, retributive, and revengeful. Yet all of the spiritual leaders-Jesus, Buddha, Lao-tzu-brought us the essential message of love and its power. It is difficult to imagine a loving God wanting us to be sick, poor, or unhappy. It's through our ignorance of the Spiritual Law, of God's love, that we bring the miseries of life upon ourselves.


As I indicated above, we overcome this ignorance and change our mistaken belief systems by developing a heightened consciousness, an acute self-awareness. At the end of the succeeding chapters of this book, you will find Self-Awareness Strategies and Exercises. Each group of exercises is keyed to the particular problem area discussed within that chapter. These exercises are there, not just for a single reading, but as a point of reference to which you may return repeatedly as problems arise in your life. In this way, you will be able to open your mind and allow yourself to grow, to enjoy full self-expression, love, and abundance. You will become a willing channel for the power you are born with.


Elsewhere in this book, you will learn that one of the reasons our creativity often fails us is because we do not carry our ideas far enough. You will find, following the Self-Awareness Strategies and Exercises in each chapter, three Affirmations. These Affirmations will help you make certain that you do carry your ideas far enough.


And, now, I will repeat to you the warning I always give to the newcomers in my seminars and my congregation: "Self-awareness will be dangerous to you. You will discover that your life is in your hands and that it's God's will that you have what you want."






Your belief system creates your reality, and there is no other law. Beliefs are the very foundation of your life. Your beliefs are based on decisions you made about yourself and about life at the time of your conception and birth and in response to later experiences. And because of your misinterpretation of these experiences, many of your beliefs are mistaken. These mistaken beliefs simply are not nurturing and actually cut you off from the supply of life and its opportunities.


One such mistaken belief is the belief in scarcity, the belief that there isn't much and that what there is, is running out. The person who holds this belief sees life as a pie with just so many pieces. If you get a piece of the pie, there is one less slice for others. Or if they have the slice you want, too bad, it's gone. If you succeed, someone else fails. If you're prosperous, somebody else must be poor. There isn't enough money. There isn't enough love. There isn't enough appreciation. There isn't enough success or attention. There are not enough jobs, mates, and on and on. It's as though life were a seesaw! If I'm up, you're down. Or vice versa. With this belief system, you can't have any more because there simply isn't enough to go around. So you must protect and defend what you have, take what someone has, and prevent others from getting.


I recall a young man who came to me with a desperate career problem. His father owned a drugstore, which had been owned by his father. When the young man was preparing to go to college, his father told him: "Go ahead and get your education, but remember, you belong here in this business. It's in your blood, and you'll never succeed anywhere else."


The son explained to me that he didn't want to work in or run the drugstore, but he didn't believe there was anything else out there for him. Nevertheless, after he graduated from college, he tried a number of jobs and failed in each. Finally, in desperation, he gave up and went to work with his father in the drugstore.


The father said: "I'm glad you finally saw the light. I was right all along. I know more about you than you do about yourself." The fact was that the son was miserable in the drugstore. He felt defeated and gutless. At this point, he sought counseling.


Through counseling the son gained insight into his belief system. He had bought the belief system of his father, that there was one slice of pie left. That slice was a job in his dad's drugstore. In counseling, he discovered his fear that, if he succeeded in anything else, he would betray his father and lose his love and approval. He loved his father so much that he was willing to give up his own happiness for him. Thus, his life had become one of compromise, which worked for no one.


Counseling revealed that he was acting from a belief in scarcity. So he changed his personal law from "I can only succeed in my dad's drugstore" to "I am a capable, worthwhile person, and I am able to be fulfilled, successful, and prosperous in any job I choose." He accepted that there were plenty of jobs and right situations out there for him and plenty of opportunities. He quit the drugstore, struck out on his own, and in a couple of years had become a very successful accountant. Initially, his father had difficulty accepting his son's independence. But because of the son's willingness to tell the truth, to do what he wanted to do, and to still express love for his father, he gradually gained the father's acceptance and increasing respect. Later, the father confided that he, too, had wanted to leave the drugstore when his father was alive but had lacked the courage to do so.


Through your belief in scarcity, you make yourself a slave to the idea that there's only one job, only a few friends, only one place to live, only a couple of options, just enough money, only one possible answer or solution.

Table of Contents

1 Power! You Already Have It 1

2 Abundance Is Your Right 7

3 Breaking the Circle of Guilt 18

4 Others Are Not Your Source 30

5 Certainty of Purpose 41

6 Going Beyond Your Comfort Zone 52

7 Good Health is Your Natural State 60

8 Death is a Living Experience 71

9 Food and Other Faulty Substitutes 84

10 Relationships Start With You 93

11 To Possess Is to Destroy 101

12 Children Are Born Capable 112

13 When It's Time to Move On 122

14 Everybody Can Win 134

15 Sexuality: Ask For What You Want 145

16 Having Money Is Your Right 154

17 The Myth of Competition 163

18 The Power of Making a Decision 173

19 Argue For Your Limitations and they Are Yours 183

20 What You Think of Me is None of My Business 196

Acknowledgments 209

About the Author 211

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