Why Can't You Hear Me?: Our Autistic Daughter's Struggle to Be Understood

by Andrew McCulloch, Amanda McCulloch, Jane Asher (Foreword by), Will Mandy (Foreword by)

Overview

In the early hours of 28th July 2016, Colette McCulloch was hit by a lorry and killed on the A1. Eighteen hours earlier she had walked out of the specialist care facility for autistic adults where she was being treated.

Here, Andy and Amanda McCulloch tell the story of their daughter's life and untimely death: the years in which her autism went undiagnosed, her lifelong battle with eating disorders and the lack of support for her complex needs. The book is interspersed with Colette's own vivid and eloquent writing, her poetry and prose articulating her experiences grappling with a world forever at odds with her. Colette's story is a call to action and ultimately leaves a message of hope for a future in which autistic people will be better understood and able to flourish.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781787755086
Publisher:	Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Publication date:	04/21/2021
Pages:	304
Product dimensions:	5.43(w) x 8.43(h) x 1.10(d)

About the Author

Andy and Amanda met while working as actors. They had two daughters, Chloe and five years later Colette. Andy went on to become a TV screenwriter and wrote for many popular series. Amanda became a theatrical agent.

Throughout Colette's short life they sought out people to try to explain and ease their younger daughter's extraordinary mind. Since Col's death they've been fighting various authorities to uncover the failings in her care and treatment. Over the last year they have written this book, which includes much of her writing. It was always Colette's dream to have her words published.

Table of Contents

Foreword Jane Asher 11

Foreword Professor Will Mandy 15

Authors' Note 17

Prologue 18

Part I

1 Ending 24

2 Follow the Yellow Brick Road 34

3 Moving On… 43

4 The Rolling Stones and GCSEs 50

5 Pathfinders in the Dark 60

6 Two As: A-Levels and Anorexia 65

7 A Life…? 75

Part II

8 Bethlem or Bedlam 80

9 A Creative Burst 88

10 Cry Freedom 96

11 The Umbilical Cord 104

12 Birkbeck: Vibrant Learning 113

13 The Undergraduate 124

14 Number Two, Hove 134

15 Online Fishing 143

Part III

16 The Void Beckons 152

17 All Change 164

18 The Law Is… 172

19 A Perfect Storm… 181

20 A Hard Place… 189

21 What Land Is This? 200

22 Milton Park: The Station to Nowhere 206

Part IV

23 Celebration and Confrontation 222

24 The Wheels of Justice 231

25 Letters Before Action 239

26 Action 248

27 Experts and Conclusions 261

28 Person Centred 273

29 Hope… 280

30 Beginning 287

Acknowledgements 291

Appendix 294

Note to my Parents 294

Shelf-Objects 298

Broken Tea-Pot 300

Editorial Reviews

This poignant memoir of a young women born with autism spectrum disorder is a moving exemplification of the minds of others. Her parents use highly attuned empathy and biographical knowledge with insights from Colette's poetry in a compelling forensic analysis of her tragically short life story.

Janet Treasure

This book is an emotional rallying call for changes in the way we respond to women with autism and mental ill-health. Colette, a talented artist and writer, conveyed her inner torment and needs but was not seen or heard by state agencies. Narrated by her loving family it conveys their fight against a system that failed her, and them, in both life and death. In their pursuit of truth and accountability they have ensured Colette's creative free spirit lives on and we learn from her.

Deborah Coles

This is a breathless and devastating read, capturing the brilliance and intensity of a young woman who lived her shortened life never quite fitting in, all the while documenting her feelings beautifully through her writing and artwork. It is also a story of the strength of family love and in particular parents who both lay witness to and, with unwavering determination, try to ease the struggles their daughter experienced over years.

Colette's brutal and preventable death led the McCulloch's on a new journey in search of answers and accountability. They were forced to negotiate a whole new world of coronial processes, obstruction and the contempt that families in such situations too often face. It is deeply saddening that bereaved families are subjected to consistently hostile and unnecessary treatment.


Why Can't You Hear Me? is, finally, an account of the immense losses that accompany the failing of health, social care and education systems to understand and recognise autism in girls and young women.

I wish I had met Colette. She was clearly a remarkable individual and this book speaks to her character, vivacity and life.

Sara Ryan

Family's tragic journey with autistic child must be read...The book is a powerful indictment of the agencies and often well-meaning professionals who failed to identify both the basis of Colette's behaviour and her care and support needs. This is a challenging read for all professionals working with children and adults on the autistic spectrum and rightly sits alongside Justice for Laughing Boy in particular as books that should be required reading on social work and adult safeguarding courses.

Professional Social Work magazine - Pete Morgan