Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, Revised Edition: How the Words You Choose Shape Your Destiny

by Joseph Telushkin

Overview

From the New York Times bestselling author of Rebbe comes this newly revised edition of Words That Hurt, Words That Heal—an invaluable guide in how choosing the right words can enrich our relationships and give us insight to improve every facet of our lives.

“I don’t know anyone whose life would not be blessed by this book.”—Rabbi Harold S. Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People and Nine Essential Things I’ve Learned About Life

Joseph Telushkin is renowned for his warmth, his erudition, and his richly anecdotal insights, and in Words That Hurt, Words That Heal he focuses these gifts on the words we use in public and in private, revealing their tremendous power to shape relationships. With wit and wide-ranging intelligence, Rabbi Telushkin explains the harm in spreading gossip, rumors, or others’ secrets, and how unfair anger, excessive criticism, or lying undermines true communication. By sensitizing us to subtleties of speech we may never have considered before, he shows us how to turn every exchange into an opportunity.

In this fully revised edition, Joseph Telushkin brings this classic into the modern age. Remarkable for its clarity and practicality, Words That Hurt, Words That Heal illuminates the powerful effects we create by what we say and how we say it.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780062896377
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	01/29/2019
Pages:	288
Sales rank:	257,875
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Joseph Telushkin is a rabbi, scholar, and bestselling author of eighteen books, among them A Code of Jewish Ethics and Words That Hurt, Words That Heal. His book Jewish Literacy is the widest-selling work on the topic of Judaism. He lives with his wife, Dvorah, in New York City, and lectures regularly throughout the United States.

Table of Contents

Part 1 The Power of Words To Hurt

Introduction: The Twenty-Four-Hour Test 3

1 The (Insufficiently Recognized) Power of Words to Hurt 9

Part 2 How We Speak About Others

2 The Irrevocable Damage Inflicted by Gossip 23

3 The Lure of Gossip 48

4 Is It Ever Appropriate to Reveal Humiliating or Harmful Information About Another? 57

5 Privacy and Public Figures 66

Part 3 How We Speak To Others

6 Controlling Rage and Anger 77

7 Fighting Fairly 93

8 How to Criticize and How to Accept Rebuke 99

9 Between Parents and Children 115

10 The Cost of Public Humiliation 129

11 Is Lying Always Wrong? 145

12 Not Everything That Is Thought Should Be Said 159

Part 4 The Power Of Words To Heal

13 Words That Heal-and the Single Most Important Thing to Know About Them 167

Part 5 What Do You Do Now? Making These Practices Part of Your Life

14 Incorporating the Principles of Ethical Speech into Daily Life 211

15 Where Heaven and Earth Touch: A National "Speak No Evil Day" 225

Acknowledgments for the 2019 Edition 229

Acknowledgments for the Original 1996 Edition 235

Appendix: Text of Senate Resolution to Establish a National "Speak No Evil Day" 239

Notes 241

Index 259

Editorial Reviews

In a time when slurs and slights are displacing civility and courtesy, this enchanting book reminds us that the words we choose have an impact on others—and send a message about us. With characteristic wisdom, Joseph Telushkin offers guidance for parents and leaders on how to communicate with consideration and compassion.” — Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take and Originals

“This deeply wise and delightfully engaging book will change the way you think about the words that come out of your mouth—and in doing so, will change your life. At a time when our national conversation has become so painful and divisive, this book is urgent and essential reading, providing us a road map for how to repair our relationships and restore kindness to our world.” — Sarah Hurwitz, former head speechwriter for first lady Michelle Obama

“At a time when bipartisan civility is attacked as political weakness and tolerance is ridiculed as “political correctness,” this book is more necessary than ever. As much as Joseph Telushkin is a learned rabbi, a fluent writer, and an eloquent speaker, he is most importantly a kind of public sage.” — Prof. Samuel G. Freedman, Columbia Journalism School, author of Letters to a Young Journalist

“This wise, wonderful book not only enlightens and entertains: it can actually elevate your life by making you a better spouse, parent, business partner and neighbor. The writing is warm, elegant, sensitive and above all sensible—so much so that you’ll feel tempted to read key passages aloud in order to inspire your friends and family.” — Michael Medved, syndicated talk radio host and author of The American Miracle

From the Publisher

In a time when slurs and slights are displacing civility and courtesy, this enchanting book reminds us that the words we choose have an impact on others—and send a message about us. With characteristic wisdom, Joseph Telushkin offers guidance for parents and leaders on how to communicate with consideration and compassion.

Adam Grant

This deeply wise and delightfully engaging book will change the way you think about the words that come out of your mouth—and in doing so, will change your life. At a time when our national conversation has become so painful and divisive, this book is urgent and essential reading, providing us a road map for how to repair our relationships and restore kindness to our world.

Sarah Hurwitz

At a time when bipartisan civility is attacked as political weakness and tolerance is ridiculed as “political correctness,” this book is more necessary than ever. As much as Joseph Telushkin is a learned rabbi, a fluent writer, and an eloquent speaker, he is most importantly a kind of public sage.

Prof. Samuel G. Freedman

This wise, wonderful book not only enlightens and entertains: it can actually elevate your life by making you a better spouse, parent, business partner and neighbor. The writing is warm, elegant, sensitive and above all sensible—so much so that you’ll feel tempted to read key passages aloud in order to inspire your friends and family.

Michael Medved