You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent: How to Practice Self-Compassion and Give Yourself a Break

by Carla Naumburg

Overview

Of course you think you’re doing a sh*tty job. Every parent does. It’s pretty much a byproduct of our society, with its incessant demands coupled with the in-your-face competitiveness parents see on social media. Unfortunately, the pandemic only made things worse, as parents juggled the stresses of helping their kids navigate online schooling while they also had to work from home. All of which makes Carla Naumburg’s new book utterly necessary. Author of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids, with 149,000 copies in print, Naumburg delivers her message right up front—You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent—that all parents need to hear and believe in. And she does it with her singular understanding, relatably funny voice, and keen insights.

You don’t react calmly to every situation? That doesn’t make you a sh*tty parent. You’d rather hide in the back of the closet than play dolls with your child (because you hate dolls)—nope, doesn’t mean you’re a sh*tty parent. The fact is, great parenting is not the same thing as perfect parenting. Great parenting starts with true self-compassion, the kind that means you don’t judge yourself. Harnessing this self-compassion is the key to giving yourself a break and embracing your best qualities as a parent. There are four evidence-based elements of self-compassion—noticing, connection, curiosity, and compassion of course—and Naumburg gives tangible steps for how to use each to help parents reduce their anxiety, trust their instincts, move past the guilt and become a calmer, more confident parent. Which, in the end, benefits your child as much as you.
 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781523517114
Publisher:	Workman Publishing Company
Publication date:	09/27/2022
Pages:	224
Sales rank:	277,894
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.50(d)

About the Author

Carla Naumburg, PhD, LICSW, is a clinical social worker and the author of Ready, Set, Breathe: Practicing Mindfulness with Your Children for Fewer Meltdowns and a More Peaceful Family (New Harbinger, 2015), Parenting in the Present Moment: How to Stay Focused on What Really Matters (Parallax, 2012) and How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent (Workman, 2019).
 

Table of Contents

Introduction: Why I Wrote a Whole Damn Book About Self-Compassion 1

Chapter 1 Crap Happens and Then We Make It Worse 20

Chapter 2 Life's a Beach and Then We Freak Out 44

Chapter 3 Self-Compassion Is Your Secret Sauce 57

Chapter 4 It All Starts with Noticing 76

Chapter 5 You're Not the Only One: The Power of Connection 98

Chapter 6 Curiosity: The Life-Changing Magic of Exploring Your Experience 128

Chapter 7 Kindness: You're Not a Monster. Parenting Is Hard 155

Chapter 8 How to Compassion the Crap Out of Your Kids 185

Chapter 9 A Recap of Key Points and How to Make the Magic Happen 210

Editorial Reviews

"It’s easy to see why Naumburg’s side-splittingly funny and relatable work resonates so strongly during a challenging time. Essential reading." — Library Journal, starred review

“Naumburg once again offers a parenting book that parents will actually want to read. Equal parts helpful and hilarious, this book instructs caregivers in the art of self-compassion, even under the hardest of circumstances… Naumburg’s advice is invaluable and reassuring while—it can't be overstated—truly embracing the humor of it all. The rare parenting book that readers will want to pick up again and again.”— Booklist, starred review

"Kicking your own ass doesn't help you, and it definitely doesn't help your kids. Here's how to stop." —Dan Harris, author of the New York Times bestseller 10% Happier

"If you ever feel like you're bad at parenting, drop everything and read this book. It's a funny, smart, essential antidote to our fear-mongering, shame-inducing parenting culture." — Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes. 


You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent is the practical, funny, and loving friend you need to get through the real challenges of parenting. Carla completely understands how chaotic and hard parenting is—and how we doubt and question ourselves—because she's been there. Her take on the powerful medicine of self-compassion is to serve it with a loving spoonful of irreverent humor to help it land in our real lives. If you're frustrated, struggling, and sick of holier-than-thou parenting books, grab You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent and get the (very real) help it offers with a welcome dose of wit. — Hunter Clarke-Fields, Author of Raising Good Humans

Carla Naumburg gets it. She understands how impossible it is to parent these days, and how we beat ourselves up for everything that goes wrong. Not only does Carla have your back, she speaks with a voice that is both reassuring and laugh-out-loud funny, offering ways to find more joy and sanity. If you are exhausted, stressed, depressed and at the end of your rope, grab this book. It is a life saver. — Dr. Susan Pollak, co-founder, Center for Mindfulness and Compassion, Cambridge Health Alliance, Harvard Medical School. Author, Self Compassion for Parents: Nurture your Child by Caring for Yourself.

"If you ever feel like you're bad at parenting, drop everything and read this book. It's a funny, smart, essential antidote to our fear-mongering, shame-inducing parenting culture." - Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes
 —.

From the Publisher

★ 08/01/2022

Social worker Naumburg (How To Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids) received dozens of interview requests from media outlets in spring 2020, a moment when many parents were feeling desperate as they managed kids learning remotely, the expectations of their own workplaces, and the unprecedented stress and challenges of a pandemic. Naumberg's book is a guide to easing parents' stress that uses humor as a tool to deliver truth and emphasizes that self-compassion, forgiving oneself, and getting support are the keys to navigating these struggles. Naumburg recognizes that parents may turn to distractions or denial instead of dealing with the core of their issues. She explains that unhealthy f-words reactions—no, not that f-word but flight, freeze, flip out, fix, and fawn—can be counteracted by the c-words: calm, clarity, creativity, and confidence. She shows that growth in parenting is quite possible, as parents learn to live in the present moment, notice unhelpful reactions, connect to their own humanity, or perhaps reach for a therapist. VERDICT It's easy to see why Naumburg's side-splittingly funny and relatable work resonates so strongly during a challenging time. Essential reading.

Library Journal