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Overview
Setting yourself apart in today's highly competitive business environment takes thought and planning. Not only must you have excellent job skills, you must also have excellent people skills.
You Did What?! gives you solid techniques that can be used right away to achieve effective results, including:
Whether you are a seasoned executive or a recent college graduate, You Did What?! will prepare you to handle a wide variety of business situations correctly.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781632650092 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Red Wheel/Weiser |
| Publication date: | 09/21/2015 |
| Series: | A Confident Communicator's Guide |
| Edition description: | First Edition |
| Pages: | 128 |
| Product dimensions: | 5.20(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.50(d) |
About the Author
Kerry Preston is a recognized expert, speaker, and facilitator in the areas of leadership, communication, presentations, strategic planning, and time management. Together with Kim Zoller, she is the best-selling coauthor of Enhancing Your Executive Edge. Kerry has spent the last 24 years collaborating with companies to develop their people, including 10 years with Calvin Klein Cosmetics. She lives in Annandale, New Jersey.
Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
Big Blunder
Forgetting to Stay One Step Ahead
Behavior is a mirror in which everyone displays his own image.
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Impressions are made in seconds. Most of the time, these impressions determine the outcome of a situation before the actual interaction begins. We've all heard the saying, "You don't get a second chance to make a first impression." People tend to focus on small things that can affect your future.
Research has confirmed the importance of first impressions. Most businesspeople determine if they want to do business with you based on these first impressions. By planning ahead, you can decide what you want your image to be and what impressions you would like to leave others with. This gives them every opportunity to do business with you, hire you, and be loyal to you.
In an ideal world, others would not judge us. In the professional world, judgments are made and impressions happen within seconds of first meeting someone. It is important to take time to think about first impressions and how others perceive us. Some aspects of first impressions include posture, body language, appearance, and your personal style. If done right, this can play a role in forming favorable impressions that will go a long way toward building your career.
There are three basic components that contribute to a others impression of us:
* The words we use make up 7 percent of an impression.
* The way we sound, that is, our intonation and enunciation make up 38 percent of an impression.
* Our nonverbal messages and our body language make up 55 percent of an impression.
These components determine how others perceive us and how they react to us. Being one step ahead means leaving nothing to chance. You must perfect the details of how you present yourself. Think about the people you know who are successful and professional.
Ask Yourself These Crucial Questions
* What makes the people I admire professional?
* What did I learn from them that can help me become more professional?
* How do I want people to perceive me?
What image do I want to project?
On the Side
"Recently, we were selecting a vendor to furnish our new office. We couldn't believe the treatment we received. Some vendors acted as though they were doing us a favor. Others arrived a few minutes late to our first meeting. We hired the vendor who had the most professional people — the people who treated us well and acted as though they were thrilled to be with us. They were willing to do whatever it took to make us happy. It's a pity that the other vendors overlooked the possibilities. It turned out to be $100,000 worth of business."
— a San Francisco law firm
Tips
Your goal in business should be to give people the opportunity to know how good you are at what you do and actually hear what you have to say. You lose your competitive advantage when people become distracted by aspects of your appearance or by behaviors that you can easily change. Take a look at the first set of tips, which we will expand on throughout this book:
* Always stay one step ahead of your competition.
* Keep your emotions in check.
* Be completely present, no matter the circumstances.
* Eliminate distractions, including your phone, when engaged in a conversation.
* Be on time. Even better, be five minutes early to be safe.
* Be dressed appropriately.
* Be dressed for where you want to be in your career, not for your current position.
* Be informed.
* Be protective of your brand on social media.
* Be interested, not interesting.
* Use appropriate language.
* Return telephone calls and emails. You never know when you will need the sender to return a call or note to you.
* Be personable, not personal.
* Respond yes or no, verbally or in written form, when you are invited to a function. People remember.
* Follow up and follow through.
* It is better to under-promise and over-deliver.
* Send handwritten thank-you notes. (For more information, see Chapter 3.)
* Be aware of the messages you are sending all day, every day.
As you continue to advance in your career, be open to opportunities. Adopt a mindset of growth, and always find people to give you feedback for your growth.
Attitude is everything! As Norman Vincent Peale once said, "Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure."
CHAPTER 2Big Blunder
Using Body Language Improperly
What you are shouts so loud in my ears, I cannot hear what you say.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Interesting Study
Amy Cuddy, social psychologist and associate professor at Harvard Business School, shows us the importance of "power posing" to convey confidence, power, and competence. Her research shows how "faking" body postures for just a few minutes changes our cortisol and testosterone levels, helps us perform better in job interviews, and allows us to take risks and handle stressful situations.
The research indicates when individuals feel personally powerful, they are more present and in touch with their own feelings and thoughts. This helps them to connect with the feelings and thoughts of others. With this personal power comes self-motivation and a personal drive to succeed.
If we are both listening to someone's words and watching his or her body language, we always respond to the body language first. Body language accounts for an astounding 55% of an impression, and those impressions are made within seconds. While the meaning behind body language may not be entirely clear, being aware of and understanding the general guidelines regarding body language will provide you with powerful ammunition to convey the nonverbal messages you wish to send.
We all send off "engagement signals" — signals that tell people how confident we feel, how much we want to be there, and how interested we are in them — the moment we come into contact. Whether you are walking down a hallway or arriving at a meeting, be aware of the signals you are sending out and manage them accordingly to make your intended impression.
On the Side
"I was having a terrible experience buying a car. No one was taking me seriously, which was very frustrating. A friend of mine referred me to a dealership where he had been treated well. I decided this was the last place I would visit before I resorted to the Internet. When I walked in, an extremely professional and polished gentleman in a suit came up and greeted me. He made confident eye contact, smiled, put out his hand, introduced himself by name, and welcomed me to the dealership. I was sold! The salespeople at the two top-notch dealerships I visited previously had given me fishy handshakes and made no eye contact. It was as though they were saying that they didn't want my business."
— Female advertising agency executive
During the next week, be aware of your own body language, and observe the body language and gestures of the people around you — while on the telephone, in a meeting, on an elevator, or while driving or dining.
Ask Yourself These Crucial Questions
* How does my body language relate to how I feel?
* Has my awareness changed my body language at all?
* What did I notice about others?
* What perceptions do I have and what impressions have I formed?
Tips
Handshakes
* Your handshake must be firm. A firm handshake communicates confidence.
* The web between your thumb and forefinger should meet the web of the other person's hand.
* Extend your hand immediately at the beginning and end of an interaction.
* Stand when you are shaking hands.
* Make direct eye contact and smile while shaking hands.
* Smiling while shaking someone's hand builds a connection.
* If you realize that you "missed hands" and the handshake was not good, make a comment like, "Oh, that wasn't a very good handshake; can we do that again?" It is better to do that than leave the other person feeling negative about the impression you made.
Interesting Study
Greg Stewart, associate professor of management and organizations at the University of Iowa, has conducted numerous studies on handshakes and their effects. "We've always heard that interviewers make up their mind about a person in the first two or three minutes of an interview, no matter how long the interview lasts. We found that the first impression begins with a handshake that sets the tone for the rest of the interview. … We probably don't consciously remember a person's handshake or whether it was good or bad," Stewart says. "But the handshake is one of the first nonverbal clues we get about the person's overall personality, and that impression is what we remember."
* Keep your body leaning forward. Do not lean back or put a shoulder back. This gives an impression of arrogance.
Eye Contact
Eye communication involves more extended eye contact — at least three to five seconds. It establishes rapport, helps others retain what you are saying, increases your persuasiveness, and drives involvement.
* Make eye contact immediately when meeting a person.
* Maintain eye contact throughout your conversation.
* Do not dart your eyes from one place to the next, even if you are nervous.
* When you ask or answer a question, make and maintain eye contact.
* When you shake hands at the end of the interaction, maintain eye contact.
* Positive eye contact does not mean staring. Make eye contact during approximately 85 percent of the conversation.
* Do not roll your eyes when you do not agree with what is being said.
* Do not hold an "eye communication sidebar" with another person regarding something being said by another person in the conversation.
* Do not squint to show annoyance. Keep eyes open and engaged.
* Long slow blinks or keeping your eyes closed while speaking is distracting to others.
* Use your eye contact to build rapport. Validate, acknowledge, show agreement, and encourage through your eye contact. Keeping your eyes wide and nodding your head "yes" reflects your positive feelings.
Facial Expressions
Basic facial expressions that depict human emotions of happiness, sadness, fear, disgust, surprise, and anger are recognized around the world, with minor variations. In 1872, Charles Darwin published these findings in The Expressions of the Emotions in Man and Animals.
Smile
* If you do not smile a lot, practice, practice, and practice smiling more. Practice in a mirror to get used to the feeling.
* A smile creates rapport and makes you and others feel good.
* Smiles correlate to health, happiness, and success.
* Studies have shown that the brain cannot tell the difference between a fake smile and a real smile. If you don't feel it, fake it!
Interesting Study
A study by psychologist Dr. Robert Zajonc suggests that if you put a smile on your face, it can move you in the direction of a positive feeling. The research points to a cause-and-effect relationship between brain activities like smiling and happiness. Your movements can send powerful messages.
Posture
* Do not slouch when sitting or standing. This type of posture is often associated with a lack of confidence.
* Use your upright posture as a way to show that you know what you are talking about and are sure of yourself.
* Use your breath to help you keep an upright posture during difficult conversations.
* Keep in mind that all the studies on body language show that bad posture not only sends negative impressions out to other people, but it also affects how you feel about yourself.
Strategies to Improve Your Posture
* Pull your shoulders back and lift your chin up slightly.
* Balance on both feet.
* While seated, make sure the curve in your lower back is away from the chair while lengthening your torso.
* Breath deeply. Shallow breaths make you slouch.
Arm and Hand Positions
* Do not put your hands in your pockets.
* Keep your hands in view, either on your lap or at your side.
* Keep your fingers and nails out of your mouth and preferably away from your face.
* Do not cross your arms. This behavior is often misinterpreted as anger, lack of interest, or boredom.
* Do not fidget with your pens, hair, rings, and so forth.
* Do not point your fingers or make a fist. These actions may make others feel intimidated.
* Always cover your mouth when coughing or yawning. When coughing try to cough into your forearm. This alleviates others from focusing on the germs that you may transfer through your handshakes or touching pens, and so on.
* Keep your arm gestures open, and maintain open palms.
Overall Body Movement that Portrays Confidence
* Walk through your office with your head up straight and eyes focused in front of you; smile at people you pass and take confident strides.
* You may move quickly, but try not to look as though you are frazzled or in a hurry.
* Keep your lower body still while sitting in a meeting.
* Fidgeting is a sign of anxiety. Still hands with purposeful movement portray confidence.
Remember that people focus on your body language even before you begin to speak, and 55 percent of the impression you make is nonverbal. How people initially perceive you sets the stage for all the interactions that follow. A negative impression can be damaging to your image and is very hard to overcome.
Even if you don't feel confident in a situation, others must think you are! Make sure the signals you send are positive ones.
CHAPTER 3Big Blunder
Being Sloppy With Written and Verbal Correspondence
Simple speech is the best and truest eloquence.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Positive personal interactions allow you to build a rapport with others that will guarantee your success. Knowing when to write a note or make a phone call is priceless. Time is limited, but if you don't take the time when the time is right, you will waste more of it later. Success in building relationships is in the details.
Ask Yourself These Crucial Questions
* When was the last time a vendor or salesperson wrote me a note to say thank you?
On the Side
"Recently, we met with a prospective client. We noticed a bulletin board at the side of his desk that had a variety of little note cards on it. Noticing that we were looking at it, our client said, 'Everything being equal, I do business with vendors who send me notes thanking me for my time and my business.' Handwritten notes do make a difference!" — Image Dynamics executives
* Did it make an impression on me?
* If I could get my desired result by taking five minutes to do something, would I?
Written Correspondence
It is acceptable to put a business card in a handwritten note only when the recipient has asked for a card and is expecting one. When you include a business card that has not been asked for, you make a very personal touch impersonal. This can damage the rapport you are trying to build.
When writing a handwritten note, use folding notepaper or note cards that measure at least 3 1/2 by 5 inches. These are known as informal notes. Plain white or cream-colored informal notes are available at all stationery stores. Stationery that is engraved, thermographed, embossed, or printed adds a personal touch.
Types of written correspondence include personal letters, condolence letters, letters of congratulations, thank-you notes, reference letters, letters of introduction, and letters of greeting.
Handwritten notes should be written:
* when someone takes the time to meet with you;
* following any type of interview — internal or external;
* when you have been a guest at a cocktail or dinner party;
* when you have been invited to someone's home;
* when you receive a gift;
* when customers or associates have been promoted;
* when customers or associates have had a death in their family; and
* when customers or associates celebrate a marriage, the birth or adoption of a child, or receive some special recognition.
Remember, to be an effective writer you should:
* have a strong sense of purpose about a letter before writing it;
* limit your letter to one page;
* get to the point early (within the first two sentences);
* emphasize the reader's perspective (ask yourself how your message will benefit him or her);
* never write in anger;
* be personable and not use a form letter, as it may not fully apply; and
* end with an action item that suggests the next step.
Note Writing Do's and Don'ts
* Do send a note in the mail.
* Do not email a thank-you note. If time is of the essence, you can send an email immediately, but always follow-up with a handwritten note.
* Do write a note within three days of meeting, preferably. If you forget, write it as soon as you remember; it will always make a positive impression.
* Never send a letter with any visible deletions or corrections.
* Do handwrite the envelope of a handwritten note.
On the Side
"I interviewed someone recently and at the end of the interview she pulled out a prewritten thank-you note. While the gesture was nice, the point of the note is to have the interviewer remember you a day or two after the interview is over. You do this by mentioning something specific that happened during the interview."
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "You Did What?!"
by .
Copyright © 2015 Kim Zoller and Kerry Preston.
Excerpted by permission of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Introduction,
1. Forgetting to Stay One Step Ahead,
2. Using Body Language Improperly,
3. Being Sloppy with Written and Verbal Correspondence,
4. Breaking the Rules for Introductions,
5. Making Small Talk and Networking Inappropriately,
6. Forgetting Names,
7. Lacking Technology Etiquette,
8. Cubicle Mayhem,
9. Failing to Follow the Guidelines for Professional Dress,
10. Lacking Meeting Etiquette,
11. Being Unprepared for Interviews,
12. Using Poor Telephone Etiquette and Protocol,
13. Choosing the Wrong Gift,
14. Lacking Professionalism While Traveling,
15. Lacking Global Awareness and Maturity,
16. The Unprofessional Intern,
17. Ask Kim and Kerry: Answers to Sticky Situations,
18. You Are Your Competitive Advantage,
19. Your Action Plan for Continued Success,
Notes,
Index,
About the Authors,