Skills for people to learn to be with themselves in the healthiest way possible.Have you ever noticed how cruel and self-sabotaging your critical inner voice can be? Have you been looking outside of yourself for friends and loved ones to reassure you of your worthiness and lovability?
The latest developments in neuroscience unveil the amazing extent to which humans are wired for connection, belonging and resonance with other humans. This wiring for connection is so strong, our nervous systems have the capacity to become our own compassionate self-witnesses, even when we have not had access as children to stable loving presence and warmth. The field of neurobiology and the science of mindfulness reveal that the human brain is capable of being engaged in the experience of upset (fear, anxiety, depression) while simultaneously observing and holding ourselves with kindness, as a loving parent or partner would.
This ability to be both experiencing and holding the experience is the key to maintaining inner calm in the face of life’s challenges. If we learn to honor that each and every inner voice, no matter how distressing, has the desire to help us, we open to the possibility that each part of us has value. This help creates a gentle, accepting and warm resonance with ourselves that can remain stable and present, even when parts of us feel upset.
In simple language and easy-to-follow exercises, Your Resonant Self synthesizes the latest discoveries in brain science, trauma treatment, and the power of empathy into an effective healing method that literally rewires our brain and restores our capacity for self-love and well-being. Each chapter weaves the core concepts of neurobiology with guided meditations and beautiful illustrations by emily chaffee, painting an inspiring picture of the human brain’s inherent yearning toward healing and wholeness.
|Publisher:||Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.|
|Product dimensions:||6.10(w) x 9.30(h) x 1.20(d)|
About the Author
Sarah Peyton is a certified trainer of nonviolent communication.
She lives in Vancouver, Washington, and speaks and trains internationally on language, self-compassion, and trauma.
MA, LMFT, is a marriage and family therapist. mentor, and speaker. She is executive director of the nonprofit Nurturing the Heart with the Brain in Mind in Vancouver, WA, offering support to those in the healthcare professions through year-long immersion trainings in interpersonal neurobiology.
Table of Contents
List of Meditations ix
Acknowledgments and the Birth of This Book xi
Foreword Bonnie Badenoch xv
Chapter 1 How We Talk to Ourselves: The Default Mode Network 1
Chapter 2 Staying in Emotional Balance: Healthy Self-Regulation 24
Chapter 3 Developing Self-Kindness: Introducing the Resonating Self-Witness 43
Chapter 4 Taming the Inner Critic: Hearing the Attempt to Contribute 59
Chapter 5 Calming Anxiety: Moving Toward Trust 81
Chapter 6 Time Traveling with Resonance: Healing Old Hurts 105
Chapter 7 Claiming Anger's Creative and Protective Gifts 131
Chapter 8 Vanquishing Ancient Fears 152
Chapter 9 Returning From Dissociation 167
Chapter 10 Attachment: How Brains Respond to Accompaniment 187
Chapter 11 Healing Self-Hate and Disorganized Attachment 205
Chapter 12 Gently Healing Depression 235
Chapter 13 Leaving Behind Addictions and Compulsions: The Contributions of Self-Understanding and Resonance 252
Chapter 14 Joy, Community, and Our Outside Voice: Bringing Our Resonating Self-Witness to Others 268
Appendix 1 Self-Assessment Review 281
Appendix 2 Online Resources 286
Appendix 3 Recommended Reading 287
Appendix 4 Glossary 288
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
I have been walking a long path of healing from severe trauma. Along that path I have encountered at least 12 different healing modalities. I have experienced traditional “Talk Therapy”, “Inner Child Recovery Therapy”, Therapies that invoked the Divine, and several different “energy modalities”. As I encountered each teaching, I “took the best and left the rest”. All were helpful to me. I saw each opportunity as a piece of my life’s puzzle being put together to become whole and integrated. And, there was always this nagging voice inside my head that questioned over and over. “Are my experiences really helping me or am I just making it all up?” Then I began reading “Your Resonant Self” by Sarah Peyton. At last!! A wonderful, reassuring account of my same journey of healing from trauma; but with some solid scientific evidence that everything I have been experiencing on my healing journey is “real”. The evidence is in my brain and how it heals. I am so celebrating that evidence and feeling truly connected to myself and my experiences as REAL!!! I experience the pieces of my life’s puzzle coming together to present a whole beautiful picture of me!
I have been waiting to write this review mostly because I am at a loss to find words that convey just how grateful I am that I came across Sarah Peyton and her work and how powerful / transformative it has been in my life. This book and the material that lies therein is a GAME-CHANGER! Within its pages lies a roadmap to re-wiring ones brain and body, a way of healing and re-integrating all of the lost fragments of ourselves through resonance, warmth, and compassion. I am by no means saying that this is an easy task, on the contrary - learning how to hold myself with that level of resonance, acceptance, and understanding has been one of the most difficult tasks I have ever undertaken. I did not realize how vicious my inner-critic was before coming across her work and I look forward to unraveling the years upon years of conditioning and programming that led me to hold myself in that way. More than anything, this book and Sarah's work has given something back to me that I thought was lost a long time ago - hope that a more beautiful world is possible. If any of you have the opportunity to ever attend one of her workshops in person - I highly highly recommend it. Until then, read this book!
I think this book will help people convince the voices inside their own heads to treat them in more effective ways. Ways that help those people be brave, calm, wise, thoughtful, and successful in whatever of their needs they are trying to meet. To be fair, I've only read it once, so far, and I'm expecting to need to read it at least five times. I sure found a few bits moved me to cathartic sobs, which suggests I've found areas with work for me to do! I found myself in the careful and loving hands of the author, giving me permission to be careful and loving toward myself. Telzyln Marie Vosbury Garcia