A Theory of Everything Else: Essays

A Theory of Everything Else: Essays

by Laura Pedersen

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That elusive Holy Grail of modern physics, A Theory of Everything (ToE), would explain the universe in a single set of equations. Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking tackled the problem during their lifetimes and the quest continues today in laboratories around the world. Leaving string theory, galaxy clusters, and supersymmetry to the Quantum Computer and Hadron Collider crowd, Pedersen has taken up the rest—that is, A Theory of Everything Else (ToEE), based on her own groundbreaking experiences as a dog walker, camp counselor, and Bingo caller. Pedersen’s essays are a series of colorful helium balloons that entertain as well as affirm and uplift. Why, she ponders in one essay, are thousands perishing as a result of assault weapons, carbon emissions, forest fires, pesticides, and processed foods—and yet how lawn darts were banned in the 1980s after two people died? In A Theory of Everything Else, Pedersen vividly demonstrates how life can appear to grind us down while it’s actually polishing us up—and why everyone wants to live a long time but no one wants to grow old.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781631527388
Publisher: She Writes Press
Publication date: 09/01/2020
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 320
Sales rank: 90,317
File size: 1 MB

About the Author

Laura Pedersen is a former New York Times columnist and the author of sixteen books and four plays. She has appeared on national shows including Oprah, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Today, Primetime, Late Show with David Letterman, and many others. Her book Life in New York won the Seven Sisters Book Award for best nonfiction. Laura writes for several well-known comedians. She currently resides in New York City, and more information can be found at www.laurapedersenbooks.com.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1


Can Dogs Tell Time? 7

Dog Is My Copilot 11

Lying Down with Dogs 17

The Circle of Life 24

Making the Purr feet Match 29

Dognition 36

And a Dog Shall Lead Them 42

Häagen-Dazs Retriever 47

The Tell-Tale Meow 51

Having Pets on Five Cents a Day 62


Stayin' Alive 73

Leave it to Jesus 78

Religious Olympics 85

Church of the Free Refill 89

Blue Collar Blues 99

Speedy Delivery 104

Hurly-Burly 113

Tips for Rebel Girls 118

Omnibibulous 124

Come Hell or High Heels 128

Smokey John's 137

The Tin Man 143

The Big Apple Blossom 148

The Chicken Dance 158

Senior Central 163

All Dads Go to Heaven 171


Working Girl 183

The Pen Is Mightier Than the Broom 188

A Woman's Right to Joke 197

Lady Scientists 202

Does God Have a Woman Problem? 207

Human Kind

9/11 223

Is Art Necessary? 231

What's Your Story? 241

The Good Life 250

If Truth Be Told 261

Enough Is Enough 271

Is God Watching? 282

We Will All Go Together 294

About the Author 307

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