An Undying Testimony: Keeping My Second Estate

by Keela Jackson

Overview

This is my story of miracles witnessed and life lessons learned from going through the different experiences of having Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), also known as Lupus. It hasnt always been easy, but knowing and having the truth about God and His plan for my life has made it all worth it and endurable! Even in the midst of trials of pain and heartache you can still have the peace and joy that only comes from a divine power, the Lord Jesus Christ who loves us so much. You will see as I share experiences, sensitive feelings, and thoughts from my journal over the years how we can mature spiritually and grow close to the Lord when we allow Him to lead us.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781524606534
Publisher:	AuthorHouse
Publication date:	05/27/2016
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	110
File size:	407 KB

About the Author

Originally from Chicago, Keela D. Jackson resides in Las Vegas, Nevada, with her family. Just your average girl with ambition, she loves working in the medical field professionally but enjoys spending her extra time with her family, serving others, playing the piano, and writing. Converted in her early teens, Keela has been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for almost twenty years. She loves serving within the various callings where and when she is needed, her favorites being a primary president working with and teaching the children, and a Relief Society teacher. Keela was diagnosed with lupus SLE in 2003 while serving a mission for the church in the Fiji Suva Mission, New Caledonia. Although her life took a turn down an unfamiliar road that brought many health problems, she hasn’t allowed her illness to overtake her joy and happiness for life or stop her from living her dreams. A dream that’s been dreamt since a little girl, Keela is happy to present to you her first book, An Undying Testimony, that speaks about her love for the gospel of Jesus Christ and how she overcame many of her challenges with having lupus by leaning on her love for the Savior and trusting in His love for her.

Read an Excerpt

An Undying Testimony

Keeping My Second Estate

---

By Keela Jackson

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2016 Keela Jackson
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5246-0654-1

---

CHAPTER 1

HOW I GAINED MY TESTIMONY OF JESUS CHRIST

When I was a little girl, I was surrounded by many beautiful women whom I admired and wanted to become similar to. It wasn't so much the beauty that I admired, but their independence, their self-respect, and the influence that they had on the people around them. I just thought that these were powerful women in their own unique ways, and I wanted to be like that.

I wanted to become a woman who had a positive influence on young women and older women alike; I wanted to help them see their individual worth. Yet, this was just a want, and I never thought I could ever become like these women and the person I hoped to be. My life as a youth made my future seem so far away, as well as my hopes and dreams.

I grew up in the city of Chicago, in the home that my grandmother worked so hard to keep as a safe haven for her family. It was a good place to call home for a long time. It was a fun place to be, as we had all the company and entertainment a child could want. It was a two-story duplex that seemed liked a mansion to a child during relaxed time and a treasure box during playtime — though it felt too big of a place when it came to cleaning time. Six out of eight of my grandmother's children lived there with their children. There was never a boring moment in our home — or in our neighborhood, for that matter. Cousins were like brothers and sisters, and aunts and uncles were Mom and Dad when Mom and Dad weren't there. There was much love in that home for a time. Then things rapidly changed as the evilness of the world made its way into our home; destroying trust, peace, and family unity. Trials and tribulations were something that I became familiar with at a young age. "Growing up too fast" isn't the phrase that I would use for myself. It was more like learning how to survive at a young age. Knowing who to lie to, who to tell the truth to, who to take from, who to run from, who to turn to, who to keep from, how to manipulate, how to hustle, and how to survive in pure darkness, literally. There were times that I had nothing to eat, no hot water, maybe not even running water at all. Life became hard and unwanted for a ten-year-old girl who just wanted peace and to become someone who could make a difference in this world someday. I wanted out, and I wanted out fast. Yet, I loved my family, and I wanted to see them do better.

There was a time when I had to decide if I wanted to stay in Chicago with my mom, who wasn't able to care for me and my brother at the time, or move to Kentucky with close family members. I had never lived outside of Chicago or away from my mom or siblings for a long period of time. This was a hard decision to make, but I knew I had to do something if I ever wanted any hope for a better life. I prayed and was guided by God to go where He planned for me to go.

I do believe that God places certain people in your life at certain times for certain reasons. All my life, though I didn't know it at the time, I had the Lord guiding me through these trials and placing me around certain people to help build a foundation of faith, character, and an undying testimony. It started with the women whom I admired — my grandmother, my aunts, and my cousin Erica. As I matured and accepted the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, there were more people I was surrounded by who helped me build a solid testimony of who I am, what I'm capable of, and who I wanted to become.

* * *

My grandma always had a Holy Bible displayed somewhere in the house, opened up, inviting one to read. Usually I would see it in the cleanest room in the house on top of a white stand that looked like an old-fashioned record player or some type of entertainment center that no one ever touched. So I knew of the Bible, but I wasn't familiar with what was in it, not until later in my life.

Easter for us kids in the house and the neighborhood meant dressing up in our finest, collecting candy, and eating boiled eggs. That was all there was to it for most of us, and that was enough, so I thought. Then there was one Easter Sunday that was different for me. Something happened that made me hunger for more than just pretty dresses and candy. This particular Easter changed my view of life forever.

I can't remember how old I must have been — maybe ten or eleven years old, maybe younger. I can't remember exactly; however, I can remember being excited to put on my white tights, brand-new Easter dress, and new shoes. Getting new clothes was always exciting. I remember my pretty yellow dress with black flowers printed all over it, and the shoes were black and shiny with a little heel on them. I felt mature and sophisticated in my outfit. That's all I can remember about that day until later that evening, when it was time for the kids to go to bed.

Grandma had four bedrooms upstairs. The girl cousins always slept upstairs. This Easter night I was going to sleep in my grandma's room, which was the room right outside the living room, where everyone watched TV. I remember Auntie Lisa sitting on the floor in front of the floor-model television watching a movie. I was heading to the room, but then what was being shown on TV caught my attention. My auntie was narrating the movie. (I hate when people talk through the movie, but I was so glad that she was doing it at the time.)

The Greatest Story Ever Told was showing. Now, I knew nothing about this at the time, and that's why it caught my attention because I was shocked by what was happening and how it made me feel when I saw it. There was a man, half-naked, bloody, carrying a cross on His back while people were screaming at Him, spitting on Him, and being mean to Him. It broke my heart and I asked, "Why are they doing that to Him?" I remember my aunt trying to tell me what was happening. She told me that it was Jesus. Well, I knew of the name because people would say it all the time, mostly misusing it, but I didn't know anything more than that He was a man spoken of in the Bible. My mom was yelling at me from another room, telling me to go to bed. I had to watch a little more. I was in awe and wanted to see what happened. After I watched them nail His hands to the cross, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming love for this Jesus. Why would they do that? I was more amazed at how He didn't fight back and didn't do anything to encourage the crowd to do what they were doing to Him. I needed to know more. I wanted to know more about Jesus. I knew that He was someone special, and I just had to learn about Him.

After that day, I begin to read the Holy Bible, even the one Grandma kept open for people to read. I wanted to know more about Jesus Christ. I read it constantly, starting in the New Testament, and I remember feeling good every time I would read it. My love for the Savior only grew stronger as I learned about Him and the many miracles He performed. One of my favorite Scripture stories that I loved reading about was the woman with the issue of blood. At the time I had no idea how much I had in common with this woman, and maybe that's why I loved her story so much, but it helped my testimony and faith.

I read about how, for many years, she'd tried to find ways to be healed from this disease that she had, but no one could help her. She'd tried everything, but still nothing or no one could help her. Then when she learned about Jesus Christ and how He was performing miracles, she thought to herself that if only she could touch the hem of His garment, she knew she'd be made whole. She didn't think it; she knew it. The Scriptures don't mention her having any other encounter with Jesus before this, only that she'd heard about Him performing miracles. Now, either her faith was exceedingly strong, or she just felt like she'd take a chance to see what happened. I think it was the first. She knew Jesus was special, heavenly, and powerful, and knew that she didn't have to talk with Him. She didn't even have to touch His flesh — just the hem of His garment — and she knew she'd be healed. What great faith! What great faith! So that is what she did, and in the midst of the crowd, the Lord felt the power escape Him.

Wow ... something happened! Something happened that was between Him and the woman. Something personal, something sacred and powerful, and no one knew of it but the Lord and the woman. A relationship changed right then and there. As the Lord asked who it was who touched Him, I'm quite sure He knew who it was, but it was an experience for her and those around them. As she admitted to it being her, the Lord told her that she was healed. That relationship changed forever.

That was me. That is me! That woman is me! When I read that as a young girl it was the faith of the woman that amazed me. As I read it as a woman with Lupus, a blood disorder, it is the love of the Savior that amazes me. He knows who we are and He wants to help us overcome our challenges in life and have a relationship with us. He wants us to know who He is, but also wants us to know that He knows who we are, too. He knows us.

CHAPTER 2

HERE AM I, SEND ME!

Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones;

And God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: these I will make my rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou are one of them; thou wast chosen before thou was born.

And there stood one among them that was like unto God, and he said unto those who were with him: We will go down, for there is space there, and we will take of these materials, and we will make an earth whereon these may dwell;

And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;

And they who keep their first estate shall be added upon; and they who keep not their first estate shall not have glory in the same kingdom with those who keep their first estate; and they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads forever and ever.

And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first.

And the second was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him.

Abraham 3:22-28 (Pearl of Great Price)

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, one may be asked to serve in a certain calling, and that individual is given the chance to accept the calling or decline it. After accepting the calling, the bishop announces this in a Sacrament meeting among the congregation when we all get to sustain and show our love and support for the individual for accepting the call. We all have a purpose in this life, and are called to do something great. Now, discovering what that calling is and accepting it may take a lifetime for some of us; yet we all have the potential to do great things in this life in many different ways.

I don't remember the pre-mortal life — no one does, or that would defeat the purpose of God's plan and the purpose of faith. However, I would like to think that as we each received our mission in life, it was similar to how we are called to serve in the church. I know that I was given an earthly calling from my Father in Heaven to do something great. I don't know the details; I don't know if I even listened to the Lord when and if He gave me details in the pre-mortal life. I can say that knowing the person that I am today, and my excitement for the Gospel, I was happy just to hear that I will have the opportunity to do this; to come to Earth and experience life with its trials and triumphs, gain a body, an eternal family, knowledge, and to grow closer to becoming like Father in Heaven. I think I just said yes before even hearing the details of it all. I also think it was just as our Savior volunteered when He said, "Here am I, send me." (Abraham 3:27). We've all had the opportunity to say the same thing for something special that needs to happen or be experienced in the plan for each of our lives. I don't know the details, but I do know that in the beginning I had to have said, "Here am I, send me," and was happy about it.

I am happy to be living and experiencing what I am at this time of my life, despite the hardships. As a child, I didn't know about the plan of salvation or understand it. As I have accepted the Gospel of Jesus Christ in its fullness, I understand who I am and why I'm here. I know where I'm going and I am happy. This is what I want to share with people! It will bring them peace and happiness in this life and eternal joy in the next.

I was introduced to the sister missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints when I was 15 years old. I was at a point in my life when I was searching for more; searching for instructions and guidance to help me through the challenges I was facing at that time. I always read the Bible, and everyone who knew me, knew how much I came to love the Lord and everything about Him. So when the sister missionaries first taught me the discussion about our Heavenly Father and His plan of salvation (or another name is plan of happiness), it all rang true and familiar to my heart. I knew that it was the truth. After much prayer and pondering, despite the wishes of my family, I decided to get baptized. I am ever so grateful I followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost instead of falling under the pressure of family members who were trying to discourage me from getting baptized with reasons that didn't have a sound foundation.

When one knows that something is right and true, when the power of the Holy Ghost reveals truth to one's heart, it's kind of hard to deny that feeling. It takes a great amount of effort to shut that feeling of truth down. It's definitely possible, and one can ignore it, but once you feel it, it's a sure thing that doesn't leave doubt in your mind or heart. It just leaves you with a choice of accepting or refusing it. I chose to accept it, for it's what I'd been looking for and waiting on for a very long time.

* * *

In 2002, I applied to go on a mission for the church. I received my call in letter form to go to serve in the Fiji Suva Mission, speaking French. I was to report to the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in January 2003. The following is my journal entry a few weeks before leaving my family.

December 5, 2002 (Edited)

I am the middle child of three children. I have one sister and one brother. My momma can be my best friend at times. Then at other times ... she makes me really mad, and I'm sure I make her mad, too. I haven't heard from or about my dad in seven years. I always think of him and put his name on the prayer roll in the temple.

My sister and I don't have the best of relationships but her children, my nephews and my niece, is what makes me love to be around her. I love my nephews and niece.

I am closer to my brother than anybody else in this family. He's one year younger than I am and I love him so much. He's about to welcome a new baby into his family. She will be born in a few weeks. There are people in this family that I care about so much, it's painful to see them go on without having the Gospel in their lives.

I am the only active member of the church in our family. My mom was baptized two years after me but she's inactive.

My brother was baptized two years after her and he's inactive, too, but he does read the Bible and the Book of Mormon a lot with his girlfriend. He's naming his daughter Sariah, after the mother of the prophet Nephi that is spoken of in the Book of Mormon.

Two months ago I got my mission call to serve in Fiji. At first I was confused, but I now really do feel like this is where I'm supposed to go. The Lord can send me anywhere and I will serve Him to the best of my ability. I leave for the MTC in five weeks, Jan 15, 2003.

Being baptized into this church is one of the best things that has happened to me in this life. Like I tell many, I would have never joined this church if I didn't know with a surety that it's the Lord's church restored upon the earth. The Book of Mormon has opened my mind; showed me the impossible made possible. It has enriched me with knowledge and wisdom. I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet. He saw the Lord and there was no way he could deny that. As it is with me; there is no way I could deny the truth. This is my testimony!

CHAPTER 3

THE START OF IT ALL

There have been occasions in my life, especially if I was sitting too long, when I would feel this pain in my side. It was some kind of an annoying cramp that wouldn't go away unless I rested. It would only last for a day or two, if that. So when I started feeling this familiar pain on my mission, I tried to ignore it, thinking it wasn't a big deal.

We do a lot of walking on our mission and I was sure this is why I had started to feel the pain in my side; but the pain wasn't going away, it was getting worse.

It was a beautiful, hot and humid July day in New Caledonia; nothing different from any other hot day on the island. I had been on my mission for six months already. Soeur (Sister) Sally, my companion, and I, had a couple of appointments that were in the squats. The squats were another name that we called the jungle. It was full of trees, mud, mosquitoes, and the humble. People who lived in the squats may have seemed like they didn't have much, but they were the most pleasant and kindest people on the island. They were also the most open to listening to us missionaries. I loved going to the squats for them, but I hated traveling there because of the bugs and mud, and sometimes it took forever to get to your destination with all the walking. If you didn't know your way around the squats then you would definitely get lost, because there were no road signs or directions, just a jungle.

I didn't realize that something was seriously wrong with my body until we continued to walk through the squats looking for our investigator's home. We'd been walking for five or ten minutes when the pain I felt in my side was overshadowed by the pain I was feeling in my chest whenever I would breathe. My backpack was too much to carry and I just felt weak and tired. I didn't bother to mention any of this to my companion just yet.

(Continues...)

---

Excerpted from An Undying Testimony by Keela Jackson. Copyright © 2016 Keela Jackson. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

---

Table of Contents

Contents

Introduction, ix,
Chapter 1 How I Gained My Testimony of Jesus Christ, 1,
Chapter 2 Here Am I, Send Me!, 7,
Chapter 3 The Start of It All, 13,
Chapter 4 A Calling within a Calling, 19,
Chapter 5 My Trial, My Testimony of the Matter, 53,
Chapter 6 Be Still, My Soul, 65,
Chapter 7 Stop Fighting and Listen!, 77,
Chapter 8 Amazing!!, 93,
Chapter 9 Keeping My Second Estate, 95,