Caged and Locked: My Personal Experience with Circumstantial Depression
176
Caged and Locked: My Personal Experience with Circumstantial Depression
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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781490792927 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Trafford Publishing |
| Publication date: | 01/03/2019 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 176 |
| File size: | 928 KB |
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CHAPTER 1
What Is Circumstantial Depression
Circumstantial or Situational depression, or Adjustment Disorder With Depressed Mood is a short-term, stress-related type of depression. It can develop after a person experiences a traumatic event, series of events, or a change in a person's life. Situational depression stems from a person's struggle to come to terms with the changes that have occurred. It can be very difficult for a person to cope or adjust to their everyday life following such an event or change. It's also known as reactive depression. Situational depression often goes away in time, and talking about the problem can ease the recovery process. Once the person is able to cope with the new situation, recovery is possible. In 2013, the mental health diagnostic system technically changed the name of "adjustment disorder" to "stress response syndrome."
CHAPTER 2How Is Circumstantial Depression Different Than Other Types Of Depressions
Depression is going to usually look different for everyone. There isn't a one-size-fits-all solution to depression because not all depression is the same. There are many types of depression. It is important to speak with a doctor you trust to treat and diagnose the type of depression that you have. A wrong diagnosis and wrong treatment of the incorrect depression type can have damaging effects and can leave you feeling worse and can lead to more severe symptoms and outcomes of your particular depression. Even though depression can be diagnosed correctly, symptoms can still vary from person to person and so can the depression itself. It is important that you let your voice be heard. One thing is for certain, depression is more than just feeling sad from time to time.
I can only speak from my personal point-of-view, but having been drugged up for over five years, being in counseling for over 15 years, and no one really listening to what I was really saying, I know what happens when certain types of depression go ignored. The various medications that I was on did nothing for me but make me fat and the counseling just made my depression worse. Depression also has a "happy memory lapse" effect. That means that happy memories in the brain tend to fade away, be forgotten, or slip out of the mind quickly. The depressed mind tends to remember harsh feeling memories over the good ones. They may not remember even the last time that they smiled or laughed or even had fun. While writing the "happy" memories down can help, it may take more than that to remember both the good and the bad. Taking a picture, recording a video, or other ideas such as these can trigger the good and happy memories, but sometimes, the memories are just tucked away and lost for good.
Forgetting the "happy" memories can also be the brain's way of protecting itself. If you can't remember anything "happy" or "good", then you put up a wall and protect yourself from everyone else in order to ward off anymore of the "bad" memories that you have felt in the past. You refuse to be hurt ever again and make sure that you try not to let anyone get too close to you. When people refuse to even try to get close to you, you shrug it off as if you don't care. Again it is important to talk to someone that you trust to correctly help you to identify which type of depression you may have and the best course of action and/or treatment that will work for you.
Major Depression, also known as unipolar or major depressive disorder, is characterized by a persistent feeling of sadness or a lack of interest in outside stimuli. The unipolar implies a difference between major depression and bipolar depression, which refers to a fluctuating state between depression and mania. Instead, unipolar depression is uniquely focused on the "lows," or the negative emotions and symptoms that you may have experienced.
Dysthymia, also known as Persistent Depressive Disorder or Chronic Depression, is a mild and chronic type of depression that causes a low mood over a long period of time usually for at least two years or more, and is accompanied by at least two other symptoms of depression. This type of depression usually has less symptoms than major depression. Those who experience dysthymia can also suffer from periods of major depression, which can sometimes be referred to as "double depression."
Postpartum depression is a type of depression in which the mother suffers after giving childbirth, anywhere from weeks to months after childbirth, usually arising from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustment to motherhood, and fatigue. It also almost always develops within a year after a woman has given birth.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), also known as Extreme Winter Weariness, is a form of depression that emerges at the same time each year.
With SAD, a person usually has symptoms of depression and unexplained fatigue as the winter season approaches with its reduced warmth, color, and the daylight hours become shorter. When spring returns and days become longer again, people with SAD feel relief from their symptoms, returning to their typical mood and energy level.
Atypical depression is usually a type of depression that is less well understood than major depression. This depression is a subtype of major depression or dysthymic disorder that involves several specific symptoms, including increased appetite or weight gain, sleepiness or excessive sleep, marked fatigue or weakness, moods that are strongly reactive to environmental circumstances, and feeling extremely sensitive to rejection.
Psychotic depression is a subtype of major depression that happens when a severe depressive illness includes some form of psychosis. This type of depression includes a mental state characterized by disorganized thinking or behavior; false beliefs, known as delusions; or false sights or sounds, known as hallucinations.
Bipolar Depression, also called Manic Depressive Disorder or Bipolar Disorder, is a type of depression in which symptoms can interchange between mania and depression. This type of depression has major highs and lows. The main difference between the unipolar and bipolar depression is that unipolar depression has no high periods.
Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD, is similar to premenstrual syndrome but is more severe. PMDD is a severe type of depression that affects women during the second half of their menstrual cycle. Women with PMDD are often misdiagnosed and told that it's just hormonal and to get over it. Women with PMDD also have an increased sensitivity to their reproductive hormones during the two weeks before their period starts. This sensitivity leads to adjustments in the brain chemicals and neurologic pathways that control their mood and their general sense of well-being.
Whatever type of depression you have, it's always a great idea to try as hard as you can and find someone you can trust to talk to. It is very difficult to do every day things if you are in pain and suffer from any type of depression by yourself. Getting help doesn't always mean being locked up or being put on drugs. Sometimes, getting help just means having a really good friend who will love you despite of the obstacles that you face on a daily basis. It means having a friend who won't judge you, but one who will support you in your growth through that depression every single day. Depression is hard enough without having to battle other people's perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and ideas about you.
CHAPTER 3What Does It Mean To Be Codependent
What does it mean to be a codependent? A person who is codependent, also known as "having a relationship addiction", is a person who has an emotional and behavioral condition that affects their ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship because the relationship is one-sided, and they rely on the other person for meeting nearly all of their emotional and self-esteem needs.
A codependent will have low self-esteem because they feel that they are not good enough and always compare themselves to others. They constantly need approval of their self-worth from other people and when they don't have that, they feel unloved and inadequate to society. The constantly strive for perfection and feel guilty when or if they don't reach it.
Codependents have a hard time of saying no, mainly because they don't think that they have a choice. When someone asks them to do something, they don't have a lot of self-worth to stand their ground and say no because they think the other person will not like them or will reject them. If they ever do stand up and say no to someone, they get high anxiety and try to make up for saying no. They often put other people's needs above their own, sacrificing themselves to accommodate other people.
Codependents have extremely poor boundaries in general, but especially when it comes to their feelings, thoughts, and needs. They are always feeling responsible for other people's problems and their feelings which can become overwhelming when trying to deal with their own. Sometimes codependents can also be closed off and withdrawn so they don't get hurt. With poor boundaries, codependents can be very reactive like a grenade. They tend to be very defensive at times and very gullible at other times. Due to the lack of boundaries, codependents absorb other people's words, thoughts, and feelings like a sponge instead of realizing that everyone has their own opinion.
Being helpful is another huge thing with codependents. They are always trying to put other people's needs above their own. They always have to help other people, but if they ask to help, and the other person doesn't want or need their help, codependents are left feeling rejected, unloved, and unwanted. They will even try to "fix" the person or situation thinking that their relationship is broken and damaged just because that person doesn't need their help.
Shame and low self-esteem create a lot of anxiety and fear. These feelings are mostly about being judged, rejected or abandoned, making mistakes, being a failure, and/or feeling trapped by being close or being alone. This high level of anxiety and fear can often lead to feelings of anger and resentment, depression, hopelessness, and despair. Because they are so many feelings at once, the codependent becomes numb, learning to suppress emotions or push them into the subconscious.
Codependents can also be obsessive by spending their time thinking about other people or relationships and lapsing into fantasy about how they'd like things to be or about someone they love as a way to avoid the pain of the present. Alternate universes become muddled with actual reality. The idea of spending time in a "happy" world is more important than spending time with "real" people. With this obsessive behavior is the need to be "in control". This need helps codependents to feel safe and secure. This need is also accompanied by addictions of other sorts, such as, gaming, alcoholism, sex, drugs, gambling, etc.
I have been codependent for a long time. I have learned to control my environment, but especially when I am not able to, I play games. Games like Sims, High School Story, IMVU, Second Life, etc. Games in which I can create myself to look how I want to look like and to make my environment look like I want to make it look like are fun and important to me. They make me "feel" better even if only temporarily. In a world where I have pretty much no friends, I find that computers, and people in computers are my friends. Communicating with them is way better than communicating with people in the "real" world.
Watching people in the "real" world who I am codependent on, I realize that they may be a part of my world, but I will never be a part of theirs. I may share my feelings, hopes, and dreams with them, but they will never do that with me. I may want to invite them over my house, but they will never do that with me. If I have a problem, I share it with them, but they will never share their problems with me. I will invite them to my parties and other events, but they will never invite me anywhere. It is very lonely and depressing being a codependent ... and I don't know how to change that.
CHAPTER 4What Is A United States Orphan
United States Orphan /yo?o'nid?d/·/stats/·/'orf?n/ [yoo-nahy-tid] · [steyts] · [awr-fuh n] noun any child who was placed in the Department of Social Services' custody for at least a year, but was not adopted by their eighteenth birthday
According to the Children's Bureau (An Office of the Administration for Children and Families), there are roughly 400,000 children in the US foster care system. Of that number, approximately 100,000 are waiting to be adopted. According to ABC News, taxpayers are spending $22 billion a year — or $40,000 a child — on foster care programs.
Related Words: foster care, juvenile delinquent, DSS (Department of Social Services), CPS (Child Protective Services), group home, foster home, mental institution, respite care, homeless, teen shelters, kinship, ILP (Independent Living Program), judge, emancipation, ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate), FFCA (Foster Family Care Agency), ISP (Individual Service Plan), abuse (can be physical, sexual, emotional, or spiritual), Jail Bait, noxious substances, RSP (residential service plan), aging out, caseworker, juvenile court
Fact or Fiction
• All children placed in social services custody go directly to foster care.
Fiction, when children get placed in social services custody, they are not always placed with foster parents. Some of the places a child will get placed include: group homes, respite care, temporary shelters, behavioral health center, mental institutions, with a kinship, or some may become homeless.
• A child is placed in social services custody because DSS have found sufficient evidence that they should be there. Once there, they are placed in a safe place away from all abuse until the parent is proven to be fit.
Fiction, there are a huge number of children placed in social services custody without sufficient evidence of abuse in the child's home. A lot of times, a parent will find that the only way that they will get a fair trial is in hiring their own lawyer. Such lawyer can cost quite expensive possibly starting out around $50,000 to $60,000 and up. Children in DSS custody are also sometimes placed in approved places or homes where they are being abused, whether physically or sexually, but have not been in their own homes.
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "Caged And Locked"
by .
Copyright © 2019 Lewa Ubunifu.
Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
What Is Circumstantial Depression, 1,
How Is Circumstantial Depression Different Than Other Types Of Depressions, 3,
What Does It Mean To Be Codependent, 7,
What Is A United States Orphan, 10,
Where Do I Belong, 15,
An Alternate Universe, 18,
The Thing About Being Black In America Is, 22,
Generational Bonds and Curses, 27,
Babies Raising Babies, 30,
Lost Child, 41,
Confessions of a Lost Soul, 45,
Normal, 49,
I Brought You In This World ... I Will Take You Out, 53,
Learn To Be Lonely, 61,
Sexual Abuse, 69,
My Body Is Not My Own, 72,
Indestructible Darkness, 80,
The Girl Without The Man, 85,
Prologue, 92,
My Very Last Thoughts Before I Committed Suicide, 94,
Prologue, 97,
The Bottomless Pit Broke My Fall, 99,
Life Is Short, 109,
Grandma Heri Thamani Wanyenyekevu, 113,
Dahun Adura, 116,
Teach Me How To Fish, 118,
A Child Saved ... Is A Soul Saved ..., 121,
The Power of Prayer, 127,
A Rose Among Thorns, 131,
Being Baptized, 133,
God Lifted Me Up, 140,
You're Just Average, 142,
My Place of Refuge, 144,
The Two-Story House, 145,
How Does The Use Of Myth, Story, and Fairy Tales Help As A Therapy For Abused Children, 147,
Works Cited, 152,
Dealing With Rollercoasters, 154,
Nobody's Perfect, 160,
About the Author, 165,