Do you worry that your relationship conflict is harming your children? Separation and divorce are tough enough on grown-ups, and they can be even tougher on kids. Parents may expect their children to be their allies, messengers, or spies. That’s a lot of pressure for a kid! And it doesn’t have to be this way. In Caught in the Middle: A Letter to My Parents , Dr. Benjamin Garber shares Emma’s story of how parental conflict feels to a child. You’ll learn practical strategies for cooperating, communicating, and putting your kids’ needs first, so they can have the childhood they deserve.
Emma, a fictitious 18-year-old high school graduate who grew up in the middle of her parents’ selfish divorce and co-parenting war. Emma is an amalgam of the thousands of children that have found themselves caught in the middle of their parents’ conflicts. The rage and narcissistic injuries that these parents live with day-to-day blinds them to their children’s needs. As a result, children like Emma are prematurely thrust into the adult world. They are forced to become their parents’ allies and confederates, messengers and spies. They give up their childhoods in order to serve their parents’ selfish needs. They become chameleons, changing who they are in order to fit into the adult world, or ostriches, burying their heads in the sands of denial.
Emma’s done a very selfless thing by sharing this journal with you. The thoughts and feelings that she shares here are very private. Even embarrassing. But Emma and I have decided to put this book in your hands in the singular hope that maybe you will make different choices than her parents did. Maybe by sharing her journal, Emma can help you learn to raise healthier children.
Caught in the Middle is Book 2 in the Healthy Parenting series.
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About the Author
Psychologist and author, Benjamin Garber, is a New Hampshire licensed psychologist, a former Guardian ad litem and a Parenting Coordinator. He speaks in the U.S. and abroad, in addition to being a researcher and an award-winning freelance journalist, writing in the areas of child and family development for popular press publications and in juried professional publications in both law and psychology. Dr. Garber has advanced degrees in child and family development, clinical psychology, and psycholinguistics from the Pennsylvania State University and the University of Michigan. He has lived and worked in New Hampshire since 1988, opening his present practice in clinical child, family, forensic and consulting psychology in 1999.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Great book with easy to read passages and examples. After reading it I realized that my most toxic and thankfully shortest relationship was with a Narcissist. Makes a lot of sense in how he love bombed me and then later turned on me then disappeared. He came on so strongly at first. I was lonely and had low self-esteem. He found out my weakness then tried to connect with me on that level so I really thought there was more of a connection than there was. When I broke it off after about 4 months he wanted to get back together, which I stupidly gave into then he turned around and dumped me for another woman and blamed me for it. Got engaged to her 3 months after we broke up! Said I was a sexual temptation and a distraction to his new relationship with God. Got that line from his fiance who made him convert to her Evangelical Christian religion. So glad it happened and he ended it. Free and happy with a man who treats me well and doesn't try to shame me or belittle me. I can't believe how manipulative he was! I was so naive in that I wanted to give him a chance. This book made me stop and really understand what he was doing. Very short, intense relationship that had a major impact on how I move forward with men. Wish I read it when I was younger.