Read an Excerpt
EMOTIONAL TRANSITION
A JOURNEY OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT
By VINCENT J. INTERLANDE iUniverse LLC
Copyright © 2013 Vincent J. Interlande
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4917-0908-5
CHAPTER 1
EMOTIONAL TRANSITION
All things of heaven and earth are subject to many conditions as part of their existence. They have substance, mobility, purpose and/or from whatever perspective, a reason for existing. One characteristic that everything seems to have in common is to undergo change. This change is a transition from one level to another, one stage to the next, one need to another, etc. This is a common feature in nature or for the human course of existence. The universe and earth are in a continuum of change, from the tiniest speck of dust to it's geographical make-up. Living organisms and creatures undergo change as part of development along it's course to evolve. Change seems to be inevitable in life as part of existence.
From this writer's observation, it is quite interesting to discuss the effects of changes in the life of us, the human creature. After all, when it comes to the human species, haven't we all seen some very simple to outrageous wild influences that have effects on our very sensitive selves? Go out of your way sometime with a cup of coffee or tea and watch humans perform and react with their environment, their peers, their own actions in life. It's amazing, intriguing and sometimes a bit scary. Heck, I look in the mirror and always find a mystery looking back. Yikes!
We are born, we live and we die. Within that period of life, within that time line, the human creature is subjected to massive amounts of circumstances and stimuli that cause it to grow, think, act and react. To some, change may be simple and non-traumatic, like choosing to wear one shirt or dress to a gala affair rather than another. For others, the selecting of one shirt or dress from another for a gala affair can be gut wrenching and severely traumatic. Experiencing change can be as subtle as flipping a light switch to the effects of Mt. St. Helens erupting within a persons mind.
I'm an observer of life, not a text book professional, so my written thoughts are more from interacting with life, rather than discussing textbook studies or theories. My thoughts come from observations, interactions and experiences of how humans are emotionally driven. There is sadness, love, hate, sorrow, jubilation, and other endless human behavior. We are driven by emotions and we change by emotions. My observations are also experiences from my own personal life. I guess you can say that my experiences are the basis for many of my opinions and discussions. They may not be in agreement with many of the readers of this writing, but, they are my thoughts and opinions as I have come to understanding them and convey to the reader.
Actually, I think that human emotions are one of the most inspiring attributes of behavior while at the same time, one of the most destructive as well. Emotions are like the foundation of our ability to grow into the path of life as we mature within our soul and within our environment. It's interesting to watch emotions progress to other maturing, or even declining levels, of physical and spiritual metamorphosis. They can be looked at as a bonding agent to solidify how we relate to one another, but most importantly, how they relate to our inner self. Our capacity for stable emotional growth relates us to the world around us, ie., our behavior interacting with people or our perceptions towards the people and events of our environment and world.
Just as everything in the universe undergoes change, such as our ozone depletion, earthquakes, meteors striking moons and planets, etc., human emotions undergo change. Humans are effected by the weather, careers, winning the lottery, enduring personal tragedies and even chemical imbalances of the body. The list is numerous. Emotions effect the way we feel and perceive life. They cause people to change from one way of feeling or thinking to another, therefore changing outlooks and perceptions. Just think about our own personalities. These changes can be very positive, or can be very negative. This is part of the emotional transition that we experience from life's exposures. The positive and negative forces in life do interact and to my experiences, help mold people to be a better person if they view these opposing forces in a constructive manner. Unfortunately, when faced with uncontrolled perceptions, these forces can lead to more negative, even destructive results.
There is cause and effect, action and reaction chemistry going on here. As we experience all the events that cross our path in life's journey, we are effected by their stimuli and move forward accordingly. We receive our paycheck, hand it to our wives and they go out and spend it. OK, so that is a multi-level emotional reaction! If you find yourself in a romantic mood, a kiss can excite your emotional rush and your behavior becomes more connected and involved with your partner, and I don't think that I need to explain these emotions any further from here. How about your behavior once you purchase that car, house or special collection you've always wanted? How about your emotions of having or seeing a new born baby in the family?
A more extreme example of emotional transition is when a person builds a career, a family, financial security, only to lose it all to unfortunate events or misguided actions. This is usually traumatic to our spirit and feelings and causes a downfall in our behavior. Our emotions can change from self-satisfaction to one of anger and frustration, thus, changing our perspectives, our behavior. Death is a tragedy that effects us. How about the emotional changes through the use of drugs that change mental and physiological conditions. These also effect our emotions. They are foundations of changing our emotional balance from where it was before using drugs.
One of the key traits of character of a human being is how strong or weak the ability to control the emotional state of mind. It's a matter of strength to withstand emotional transition from one level to another, whether from a positive to a positive or positive to a negative emotional reaction. A person with inner strength, internal fortitude and intellectual ability are some reasons for better chances of succeeding with emotional changes. These qualities may, and can make it possible for better problem solving, greater discipline, maybe a better understanding and control of what the diversity of life may present them in everyday life events. Each person who ponders their ability to successfully make the transition of emotions may discover their own reason for success. I have a multitude of my own reasons, from strong discipline upbringing, to music therapy and even this writing.
If your inner self has symbolic bullet holes or weaknesses, you may fall prey to giving up and not willing to seek solutions to problems, to change, to the mistakes that you may experience or exhibit. If this occurs, you may become a negative force to your environment as well to yourself and your incentive to grow, to overcome, will be effected. This could distance you more from the people around you. Finding yourself more alone could drive you deeper into your own world of solitude, inner loneliness and steer your thoughts into a darker side of life. Your negative emotions can also make you more violent towards your environment and associated friends and neighbors. Sometimes, the deeper you fall into emotional negativity without searching for a positive way out, the harder it can become to move forward with a balance in life.
Our emotions are one of the important attributes of inner strength for growing forward from yesterday's experiences, through the present realities and into the future. They effect whether the color blue remains blue or everything light becomes dark in our mind. We are effected psychologically, physically and spiritually. One thing is certain from my perspective and personal experience. Our emotional changes, our ability to make a transition with the events causing the theatrical happy versus tragic masks of life will influence how we grow forward and perceive tomorrows new light. I feel they are a vital factor contributing towards our mental ability evolving to lead us physically forward in life.
Hopefully, humans can maintain an understanding of our diverse set of moods in a world with so many changes going on that influence these moods. It is important that we do not remain in negative darkness because of failure to adjust our emotional changes in adverse world. Hopefully, with every emotional transition that influences our future, there is the capacity to find the rational balance that will maintain those tomorrows. If not, then we could fall into a dark world within our mind that could influence us to relate to the world in more negative mannerisms. These can become some of the shadows that may eventually haunt us in the future.... and our survival!
For many years after my "Emotional Transitions," (presented as we progress in this writing), many people confronted me with confused and frustrated attitudes. I can't tell you how many people would ask the question, "Why," do I have to feel this way or that? "Why," do I feel helpless, unable to move forward or "Why," am I in this state of chaos or confusion? As I will state throughout this writing, I am not a psychologist. I am not a highly book read individual. I was told in a University lecture hall once that 90% of knowledge comes from experience and hands on exercise and about 10% knowledge comes from studies. To me, this may vary somewhat but I believe in the theory or educated thought of the 90% learning.
My responses to these "Why" people are very simple. From my own experiences and watching others, I simply ask them,
"What were your decision making CHOICES leading to your present frustrated situation or emotional state?"
Sorry, I like to think in simple terms and leave the $75.00 an hour therapists to their own level of counseling.
Choices! Let's face it, every day of your life you are faced with making choices, whether at work, shopping, financial, career, etc. How we make these decisions, these choices, is influential to personal outcomes. Our outcomes are in direct relation to the results of these choices. They lead the direction in our lives and we have to live with there outcomes or results. An important consideration to making choices is our ability to live with our decision and to control our emotions if these decisions were wrong or successful.
I recently talked to a person who was always frustrated from too much work and too little time for himself. He was always, "bitching," as he called it, not really upset. However, his "bitching" was rubbing people the wrong way and starting to upset those he was complaining to about his life. He was causing a rift in friendships and a loss of consideration for his "bitching" state of mind. He also couldn't understand why.
This person had a great job with good money, entertains himself at music concerts, casino fun, travel and had a wonderful girlfriend. What could be the problem? Why so emotional?
Having a late night into early morning discussion with this guy, I soon found out that his frustration stemmed from living 2,000 miles away from his maternal family with very few visits each year. However, in our discussions he realized that his present location and job, etc., was best for him. As simple as I could make it, I explained to him that it was his choice to be 2,000 miles away with his excellent job opportunity and pay scale, his desired location for travel and entertainment, etc. All these choices and adventures in life made him very happy and most of all, better off than living near his maternal family. He was better off living in the Mid-West. I continued explaining that his choices were excellent choices because of the circumstances and that he should embrace the successes of his life and future.
The conversation was more involved but the jest of our discussion was that this man had not rationalized or totally understood his situation as to what was the best for him under the circumstances. Although true, that being 2,000 miles from home was an important concern, he was allowing his emotional state of mind for the situation get out of control at it's own level and became a "bitcher" to others when in conversation. That rift became a slight alienation and frustration to others he knew and loved. Understanding his frustration by the end of our discussions did bring some light to his emotional feelings. The point of this simple example, is that by his inability to fully control his emotions for his choice to live so far away, he became a "bitcher" to others. His choice for a life became an emotional imbalance to himself. His complaining for his work overload and no time for himself was an emotional cover for his choice to live so far away from his lifelong home, his maternal family. From me!
The discussion that I had with this individual was more than just another person. He was my younger brother. Although I was one of the people becoming disgruntled by his constant complaining about his life, I also totally understood where he was coming from. I grew up with my brother for several decades before my choices in life took me in other directions away from the maternal family. My choices did not take me 2,000 miles away so I was closer to family and their daily life experiences. My brother, on the other hand, had an opportunity to better his machinist trade by moving to Colorado. As I understood, along with other family members, the move was the best thing for my brother to make. He knew it as well and therefore made the choice. However, by leaving his family behind, he gradually felt the void of mother, father, brothers and a sister. This void, in my mind, became the "bitching" above and beyond the value of making the choice to move. The "bitching" was the void needing filled.
Life presents itself to us by many of our choices and we have to live by their outcomes. Our emotions, our moods, are deeply effected by our choices. We shouldn't be afraid of choices because they are part of our learning process. They are part of our growth. They are part of our emotional growth. Most of all, they commit our life to transition from one moment to the next. It's our Emotional Transition!
While I was considering titling this writing, "Emotional Transition", I looked deeper into my thoughts and experiences and realized that I was also writing about human journeys. As I identified "Emotion," as a description for characteristics of moods, feelings, the make up of a persons heart and soul, I thought more intently for what I meant by using the term "Transition," as part of the title. Since a transition is a movement from one place to another or a form of change influenced by circumstances or stimuli, the title seemed appropriate for my theme of the writing. "Emotional Transition" came to me because I felt that I was writing about how my life, my feelings within a life constantly undergoing changing experiences and always finding new paths towards the future. Once I began undergoing some very roller coaster, positive and negative experiences in my life, as will be discussed in later writings, I saw a movement of my feelings taking place. I saw many different directions and choices to make in order to address these experiences.
The closer I looked at my life, the more I saw different paths being traveled because of my choices made every day. Thinking about my choices and paths taken, it became more clearer to me that I was taking part in a journey through life. Each step I made, each decision I made, I was experiencing my own life journey in the making. How interesting it came to me that unlike a child, where I was cared for by others and daily life was just a creation of fairy tales and games taken without thought or reason, adult life is a created journey for fulfillment from all fairy tales and games of our own making. Maybe it is thinking spiritually or philosophically, but my thoughts look at life as a journey through time and my decisions and choices are like grains of sand falling through the hour glass. As the grains of sand fall into the future, my journey continues. By other interpretations, my journey is also considered my mythology, my life story along a time line that I live, that I help create.
It became clear that I was not only taking part in a journey for myself, but, I was also taking part in a journey within the world around me. Just as a journey is a form of movement, a travel from one point to another, so is my interpretation of emotional transition. In an emotional transition I was changing, moving to another phase or direction of my feelings. I was changing in disposition, whether at a minor or a higher level. Therefore, to me, a transition is a journey. This book is actually a journey for the reader as well. It's a journey of life in which we all take part. Whether humanity is successful or not is strongly effected by choices and how we control emotions.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from EMOTIONAL TRANSITION by VINCENT J. INTERLANDE. Copyright © 2013 Vincent J. Interlande. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
