EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

by C.R. CRANE II

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EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED by C.R. CRANE II

Here within these pages lie a silver bullet between the eyes. A grim reminder clouds are only tombstones in the sky. In the graveyard of memories there are ghosts that still fly. Like vultures overhead waiting for dreams to die. Haunted by the questions that have no reply. Monuments with their stoney faces stand alone and cry. The Grim Reaper and Cupid in their coffin lie. Waiting to be resurrected by the readers who wonder why. I expect the unexpected to catch you by surprse.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781468537895
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Publication date: 01/24/2012
Pages: 176
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.38(d)

Read an Excerpt

Expect the unexpected


By C.R. CRANE II

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 C.R.CRANE II
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4685-3789-5


Chapter One

      THE TALK OF THE TOWN

    MY FRIENDS ALL THINK I'M CRAZY
    MY NEIGHBORS ALL THINK I DRINK
    MY FAMILY TRIED TO SAVE ME
    BY SENDING ME TO A SHRINK

    THE DOCTOR SAID IT'S IN MY HEAD
    AND MY HEART MUST BE CURSED
    THERE'S NO CURE FOR THE WALKING DEAD
    IT MUST BE LOVE OR SOMETHING WORSE

    I'M IN LOVE WITH A SUMO WRESTLER
    SHE LIKES TO THROW ME DOWN
    MAKE NO MISTAKE I'M FLATTER THAN A PANCAKE
    I ONLY WEIGH A HUNDRED POUNDS
    I'M IN LOVE WITH A SUMO WRESTLER
    SHE'S THE TALK OF THE TOWN

    I GIVE HER KISSES AND ROMANCE
    SHE LIKES WINE AND CANDLELIGHT
    THE ROOM SPINS WHEN WE DANCE
    SHE LIKES TO SQUEEZE ME TIGHT

    SHE SAYS I KNOW THAT I'M BIG
    BUT AINT THAT THE BEST PART
    I'LL BREAK YOU LIKE A TWIG
    IFYOU EVER BREAK MY HEART
    I'M IN LOVE WITH A SUMO WRESTLER
    SHE LIKES TO THROW ME DOWN

    MAKE NO MISTAKE I'M FLATTER THAN A PANCAKE
    I ONLY WEIGH A HUNDRED POUNDS
    I'M IN LOVE WITH A SUMO WRESTLER
    SHE'S THE TALK OF THE TOWN

    WHEN MY BODY BOUNCES OFF THE FLOOR
    I KNOW WHAT SHE'S THINKING OF
    MY NEIGHBORS SAY IT SOUNDS LIKE WAR
    WHEN THEY HEAR US MAKING LOVE

    THE WINDOWS RATTLE ON THE RANCH
    PICTURES ON THE WALL TAKE FLIGHT
    THE DOORS DON'T STAND A CHANCE
    THE ROOF FLYS OUT OF SIGHT

    I'M IN LOVE WITH A SUMO WRESTLER
    SHE LIKES TO THROW ME DOWN
    MAKE NO MISTAKE I'M FLATTER THAN A PANCAKE
    I'M HER STOMPING GROUND
    I'M IN LOVE WITH A SUMO WRESTLER
    SHE'S THE TALK OF THE TOWN

    NOTE# UPBEAT COUNTRY TUNE/TOBY KEITH STYLE SONG/SILLY
    AS IT MAY BE


      DADDY WENT TO JAIL

    WE WERE DRINKING BEER ON A SATURDAY NIGHT
    HAVING FUN IN A ONE HORSE TOWN
    DADDY WAS HOLDING MAMA TIGHT
    AS THEY DANCED ROUND AND ROUND

    A STRANGER WALKED BY WITH EVIL EYES
    I TRIED TO LOOK BUT I COULDN'T
    THE TROUBLE BEGAN FOR THAT EVIL MAN
    WHEN HE TOUCHED MAMA WHERE HE SHOULDN'T

    MAMA CLAWED HIS EYES OUT
    DADDY RUNG HIS BELL
    THERE WAS NEVER ANY DOUBT
    HE WAS DEAD BEFORE HE FELL
    MAMA RAN TO THE COURTHOUSE
    DADDY WENT TO JAIL

    I WAS YOUNG AND FULL OF LIFE
    SO SURPRISED AT WHAT I SAW
    THE STRANGER TRIED TO PULL HIS KNIFE
    DADDY WAS FASTER ON THE DRAW

    I REMEMBER THAT OLD GUNSLINGER
    BEFORE HE BUCKLED TO HIS DEMISE
    DADDY GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER
    AND FIVE KNUCKLES BETWEEN THE EYES
    MAMA PULLED HIS HAIR OUT
    DADDY RUNG HIS BELL

    THERE WAS NEVER ANY DOUBT
    HE WAS DEAD BEFORE HE FELL
    MAMA RAN TO THE COURTHOUSE
    DADDY WENT TO JAIL

    AFTER FIVE LONGYEARS AND GOOD BEHAVIOR
    THEY BROUGHT DADDY BACK TO TOWN
    THE JURY FINALLY RULED IN HIS FAVOR
    MAMA WAS JUMPING UP AND DOWN

    THE GUARD WALKED BY WITH STUPID EYES
    I TRIED TO LOOK BUT I COULDN'T
    THE TROUBLE BEGAN FOR THAT STUPID MAN
    WHEN HE SAID SOMETHING THAT HE SHOULDN'T

    MAMA KNOCKED HIS TEETH OUT
    DADDY RUNG HIS BELL
    THERE WAS NEVER ANY DOUBT
    HE WAS DEAD BEFORE HE FELL
    MAMA RAN FROM THE COURTHOUSE
    DADDY WENT TO JAIL

    NOTE# LISTENING TO WAYLON JENNINGS WHEN I WROTE THIS
    ONE


      RABBIT IN THE WOOD

    THE LAST TIME I SAW HER
    SHE WAS RUNNING IN THE RAIN
    THE LAST THING SHE TOLD ME
    SHE THOUGHT I WAS INSANE

    I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE MEANT
    WHEN SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T CARE
    WROTE A LETTER I NEVER SENT
    SOMEBODY SAID SHE WASN'T THERE

    SHE'S GONE GONE GONE
    SHE'S GONE FOR GOOD
    SHE'S GONE GONE GONE
    LIKE A RABBIT IN THE WOODS

    I DIDN'T KNOW I LOVED HER
    UNTIL LONELINESS FILLED ME WITH DISPAIR
    NOW I WOULD LIKE TO HUG HER
    LIKE A BIG OLD GRIZZLY BEAR

    MY LOVE GUN IS FULLY LOADED
    AND I KEEP MY POWDER DRY
    I AM HUNTING DAY AND NIGHT
    WITH TEARS I CAN'T DISQUISE

    SHE'S GONE GONE GONE
    SHE'S GONE FOR GOOD
    SHE'S GONE GONE GONE
    LIKE A RABBIT IN THE WOODS

    I'M LOSING POUNDS BY LEAPS AND BOUNDS
    I'M SKINNY AS A RAIL
    THERE'S A TOMBSTONE ON SACRED GROUND
    IT SAYS WELCOME TO THE BUNNY TRAIL
    LAST NIGHT I THOUGHT I SAW HER
    SHE WAS RUNNING THROUGH MY MEMORIES
    I GRABBED MY GUN FULL OF FUN
    BUT ALL I SHOT WERE TREES

    SHE' GONE GONE GONE
    SHE'S GONE FOR GOOD
    SHE'S GONE GONE GONE
    LIKE A RABBIT IN THE WOODS

    NOTE# UPBEAT SILLY COUNTRY SONG/MISTER CRANE IS QUITE
    INSANE HA HA


      SUZI MY LOVE

    SITTING HERE IN MY ROCKING CHAIR
    REMEMBERING ALL THOSE SUMMER DAYS
    MY HEART PROVED THAT IT CARED
    IN A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS

    MY HAND WROTEYOU SILLY POEMS
    AND A HUNDRED LOVE SONGS
    SENTYOU FLOWERS BY THE DOZEN
    AND LETTERS TEN PAGES LONG

    I'M NOT TRYING TO .... EMBARASS YOU
    YOU'RE IN MY HALL OF FAME
    PLEASE DON'T YOU BE .... MAD AT ME
    IF I SHOULD MENTION YOUR NAME
    SUZI MY LOVE

    I TOOKYOU TO THE MOVIES
    AND ALL MY FAVORITE SPOTS
    YOU KISSES COULD ALWAYS MOVE ME
    MAKE MY BLOOD RUN HOT

    I KNOW IT WAS YEARS AGO
    WHEN YOU STARTED HAUNTING ME
    THIS OLD SOUL STILL DOESN'T KNOW
    WHY YOU STOPPED WANTING ME

    I'M NOT TRYING TO .... EMBARASS YOU
    WHEN I SING ABOUT OLD FLAMES
    YOU'RE ON THE WALL .... WATCHING TEARDROPS FALL
    PRETTY FACE IN A SILVER FRAME
    SUZI MY LOVE

    SITTING HERE IN MY ROCKING CHAIR
    REMEMBERING ALL THOSE WINTER DAYS
    SPRINGTIME WAS IN THE AIR
    BEFORE WE WENT ALL THE WAY

    NIGHTS FILLED WITH MUSIC AND LAUGHTER
    AND CARS THAT GO FAST
    MY NERVES DIDN'T WRECK UNTIL AFTER
    YOU PUT ME INYOUR PAST
    IF I SHOULD MENTION YOUR NAME SUZI MY LOVE

    I'M NOT TRYING TO .... EMBARASS YOU
    YOU'RE IN MY HALL OF FAME
    PLEASE DON'TYOU BE .... MAD AT ME

    NOTE # THINK OF GLORY DAYSTHAT FADEAWAY INTO A COUNTRY
    BALLAD


      BIG MOUTH BABY

    DON'T PLAY ME FOR A FOOL
    OR A SUCKER ONYOUR LINE
    WITH LIPS SO MEAN AND CRUEL
    DON'T PUCKER THEM NEXT TO MINE

    I KNOW LOVE IS NEVER SIMPLE
    IT GETS HARDER EVERY DAY
    WHEN IT BECOMES A GIANT PIMPLE
    THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO SAY

    SHUT YOUR BIG MOUTH BABY
    DON'T YOU SAY A WORD
    EVERYTHING YOU SAY NOW
    I'VE ALREADY HEARD
    YOU'RE A BIG CAT WITH CLAWS
    I'M JUST A LITTLE BIRD
    OH OH OH I WILL GO

    YOU KNOW YOU USE TO THRILL ME
    EVERY NIGHT AND EVERY DAY
    BUT NOWYOU WANT TO KILL ME
    WITH ALLYOUR CHEATING WAYS

    BEFORE YOUR LIPS STARTED LIEING
    I KNEW ALL THE FACTS
    BEFORE MY EYES STARTED CRYING
    I ALWAYS TOOK YOU BACK
    SHUT YOUR BIG MOUTH BABY

    DON'T YOU SAY A WORD
    EVERYTHING YOU TELL ME NOW
    I'VE ALREADY HEARD
    YOU'RE A BIG CAT WITH CLAWS
    I'M JUST A LITTLE BIRD
    OH OH OH MY HEART GOES
    ONCE I WAS YOUR PRISONER
    YOUR KISSES HELD THE KEY
    NOW I'VE DONE MY TIME
    THE TRUTH SETS ME FREE

    I'M LEAVING YOU YOUR GILDED CAGE
    AND LOVERS YOU HAVE KNOWN
    YOUR FACE MADE THE FRONT PAGE
    YOUR COVER HAS BEEN BLOWN

    SHUT YOUR BIG MOUTH BABY
    DON'TYOU SAY A WORD
    EVERYTHING YOU TELL ME NOW
    I'VE ALREADY HEARD
    YOU'RE A BIG CAT WITH CLAWS
    I'M JUST A LITTLE BIRD
    OH OH OH HERE I GO

    NOTE # UPBEAT CONTEMPORARY KIND OF COUNTRY SONG/
    SOFT ROCK MAYBE?


      HERE COMES ME

    OH NICK WITH SHOVEL AND PICK
    HE WAS WORKING IN THE MINES
    ONE DAY HE FLICKED HIS BIC
    AND BLEW OFF HIS FAT BEHIND

    PIECES WENT FLYING LIKE A ROCKET
    THEY LANDED UP IN THE TREES
    NICK HAD FLASHLIGHTS IN HIS POCKET
    BUT HE FORGOT THE BATTERIES

    HERE COMES ME AND MY FAMILY
    WE ARE A CRAZY BUNCH
    YOU BETTER NOT STEAL OUR WEED
    OR TRY TO EAT OUR LUNCH
    WE MIGHT BREAK YOUR KNEES
    AND LAUGH WHILE THEY CRUNCH
    WHEN GUYS GIVE THEIR WIVES MONEY
    HERE COMES ME

    OH STEVIE BOY GOT HIMSELF EMPLOYED
    BUT HE HATED WORKING ON CARS
    ROCK MUSIC WAS WHAT HE ENJOYED
    STEVIE GOT FIRED FOR PLAYING GUITAR

    HE'S PROUD OF HIS IRISH NAME
    ANDYES HIS HAIR IS RED
    HE WOULD RATHER PLAYVIDEO GAMES
    OR STAY ALL DAY IN BED

    HERE COMES ME AND MY FAMILY
    WE ARE A CRAZY BUNCH
    YOU BETTER NOT STEAL OUR WEED
    OR TRY TO EAT OUR LUNCH
    WE MIGHT BREAK YOUR KNEES
    AND LAUGH WHILE THEY CRUNCH
    WHEN GUYS LEAVE THEIR WIVES LONELY
    HERE COMES ME
    OH NICOLE WAS A HAPPY SOUL
    UNTIL THAT MAN CAME ALONG
    NOW SHE STARES THROUGH DOUGHNUT HOLES
    AND SINGS JOHNNY CASH SONGS

    WE DON'T MIND SHE'S HALF BLIND
    WE TOOK THE KEYS AWAY
    BECAUSE SHE LIKES TO DRIVE SOMETIMES
    THROUGH A BALE OF HAY

    HERE COMES ME AND MY FAMILY
    WE ARE A CRAZY BUNCH
    YOU BETTER NOT STEAL OUR WEED
    OR TRY TO EAT OUR LUNCH
    WE MIGHT BREAK YOUR KNEES
    AND LAUGH WHILE THEY CRUNCH
    WHEN GUYS TREAT THEIR WIVES INDIFFERANTLY
    HERE COMES ME

    NOTE # UPBEAT COUNTRY TUNE/IS THIS CRAZY OR NOT?


      JOHNNY BE BAD

    WAY DOWN IN LOGAN TOWN
    THE GIRLS GATHERED AFTER SCHOOL
    ALL THE GUYS STOOD AROUND
    LIKE A BUNCH OF LOVESICK FOOLS

    JOHNNY WAS LOOKING FOR HONEY
    SOMEONE SWEET TO SHARE HIS WORLD
    SANDY SAID IT MAY SOUND FUNNY
    BUT I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL

    I WON'T PRETEND I LOVE YOU
    I'M NO ANGEL IN WHITE
    ALL I'LL EVER ASK OF YOU
    JOHNNY BE BAD TONIGHT
    TONIGHT
    JOHNNY BE BAD TONIGHT

    HE WAS DRESSED FOR SUCCESS
    LIKE A COWBOY ON THE PROWL
    SHE WAS QUICK WITH HER LIPS
    LIKE BULLETS AT THE O.K. CORRAL

    WORDS FLEW FROM HER HEART
    WORDS FLEW FROM HER HEAD
    THEY BLEW HIS RELIGION APART
    WHEN HE HEARD WHAT SHE SAID

    I WON'T PRETEND I LOVEYOU
    I'M NO GOOD IN DAYLIGHT
    ALL I'LL EVER ASK OF YOU
    JOHNNY BE BAD TONIGHT
    TONIGHT
    JOHNNY BE BAD TONIGHT

    SANDY BROKE DOWN HIS GUARD
    BY WHISPERING IN HIS EAR
    MAKING LOVE IS NEVER HARD
    IF YOUR CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR
    DARK CURTAINS COVERED THE WINDOWS
    AT THE BLUEBIRD MOTEL
    SOMEONE TURNED UP THEIR RADIO
    WHEN THEY HEARD HERYELL

    JOHNNY PLEASE PRETEND YOU LOVE ME
    AND EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT
    JOHNNY PLEASE THINK GOOD OF ME
    JOHNNY BE BAD TONIGHT
    TONIGHT
    JOHNNY BE BAD TONIGHT

    NOTE# A SPIN OFF OF CHUCK BERRY'S JOHNNY BE GOODE
    CLASSIC WITH A CONTEMPORARY COUNTRY TWIST /FEMALE
    VOCALS


      SOMEBODY BETTER CALL

    THE MAD SCIENTIST IS IN MY HEAD
    LAUGHING AT ALL THE PAIN
    I LET THAT WOMAN IN MY BED
    FOR REASONS THAT I CAN'T EXPLAIN
    I THINK I'M BETTER OFF DEAD
    BECAUSE HER LOVE NO LONGER REMAINS

    SOMEBODY BETTER CALL THAT WOMAN
    TELL HER TO GET HERE QUICK
    SOMEBODY BETTER CALL HER NUMBER
    BECAUSE THIS MAN IS GETTING SICK
    TELL HER THAT I'M DIEING
    ONE MORE KISS MIGHT DO THE TRICK

    I'0 LIKE TO TAKE MY WEED SICKLE
    AND CUT OUT BOTH MY EYES
    BEFORE I DROWN IN TEARS THAT TRICKLE
    DOWN THE FACE THAT ALWAYS CRIES
    NOW I'M SURE MY LIVER IS PICKLED
    FROM TOO MUCH WHISKEY AND RYE

    SOMEBODY BETTER CALL THE BARTENDER
    TELL HIM TO GET HERE QUICK
    SOMEBODY BETTER CALL HIS NUMBER
    BECAUSE THIS MAN IS GETTING SICK
    TELL HIM THAT I'M DIEING
    ONE MORE DRINK MIGHT DO THE TRICK

    THAT GYPSY CAME AND STOLE MY BRAIN
    SHE LEFT A NOTE THAT SAID
    SOMETIMES LOVE IS A BALL AND CHAIN
    THAT DRAGSYOU DOWN IN BED
    BUT HER NOTE NEVER DID EXPLAIN
    WHY SHE LEFT ME HERE FOR DEAD
    SOMEBODY BETTER CALL THE DOCTOR
    TELL HIM TO GET HERE QUICK
    SOMEBODY BETTER CALL HIS NUMBER
    BECAUSE THIS MAN IS GETTING SICK
    TELL HIM THAT 1'M DIEING
    AND MY BROKEN HEART NEEDS FIXED
    SOMEBODY BETTER NOT CALL AT ALL
    BECAUSE MY BUCKET JUST GOT KICKED

    NOTE # KIND OF A PHONE RINGING DING A LING CONTEMPORARY
    COUNTRY TUNE


      BIG BEN

    ONE EYED CHARLIE WAS LOOKING KNARLY
    WHEN HE RODE INTO LOGAN TOWN
    HE JUMPED OFF THAT OLD HARLEY
    HIS ONE EYE WAS LOOKING AROUND

    HE ASKED US HAVE WE SEEN HIM
    A BIG MAN DRESSED IN BLACK
    THERE'S NO MAYBE HE'S GOT MY BABY
    NOW I WANT MY BABY BACK

    WE SAID....
    YOU DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS' COVER
    YOU DON'T PICK ON A FRIEND
    YOU DON'T FOOL WITH ANOTHER MAN'S LOVER
    ANDYOU DON'T BOTHER BIG BEN

    IT WAS ON A SATURDAY NIGHT
    AT THE LOCAL BAR AND GRILL
    GAMBLERS KNEW THE ODDS WERE RIGHT
    THEY BET CHARLIE WOULD BE KILLED

    WHEN CHARLIE WALKED THROUGH THE DOORWAY
    NOT A SINGLE SOUL LAUGHED
    BIG BEN STOOD LIKE A GIANT REDWOOD
    AND HE BLOCKED CHARLIES' PATH

    WE SAID ...
    YOU DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS' COVER
    YOU DON'T PICK ON A FRIEND
    YOU DON'T FOOL WITH ANOTHER MANS' LOVER
    ANDYOU DON'T BOTHER BIG BEN

    CHARLIE WAS SMALL ONLY FIVE FEET TALL
    BUT HE HAD A BIG GUN
    BIG BEN SAID CHARLIEYOU ARE DEAD
    IF YOUR LITTLE LEGS DON'T RUN
    THE VOICE OF DOOM ECHOED THROUGH THE ROOM
    FIRE FLEW FROM THAT FORTYFOUR
    YOU COULD HEAR THE CROWD SCREAM OUT LOUD
    BIG BEN ISN'T BIG ANYMORE

    WE SAID....
    YOU DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS' COVER
    YOU DON'T KIDNAP A NEW HARLEY
    YOU DON'T FOOL WITH ANOTHER MANS' LOVER
    ANDYOU DON'T STEAL FROM CHARLIE

    NOTE # KIND OFA SPIN OFFTRIBUTE TO JIM CROCE'S-YOU DON'T
    MESS AROUND WITH JIM


      I KNEW A LONELY MAN

    I KNEW A LONELY MAN
    IN THE TWILIGHT OF HIS LIFE
    HE SAID DO THE BESTYOU CAN
    TAKE CARE OFYOUR KIDS AND WIFE

    HE BUMMED MY LAST CIGARETTE
    AND ASKED ME FOR A LIGHT
    HE SAID DON'TYOU EVER FORGET
    YOUR FAMILY NEEDSYOU HOME AT NIGHT

    HE SAID I MADE A MISTAKE
    ONE THAT I CAN'T WITHDRAW
    EXCEPT FOR THIS ENDLESS HEARTACHE
    BOY I LOST IT ALL
    I WASN'T THERE FOR HER
    WHEN HEAVEN CALLED

    HE SAID THAT HE WAS WORKING
    TRYING TO MAKE ENDS MEET
    SOMETIMES TWELVE HOURS A DAY
    AND SEVEN DAYS A WEEK

    HE SAID HE WAS TOO BUSY
    HE DIDN'T SEE THE SIGNS
    SHE ALWAYS HAD A BRAVE FACE
    THAT THE PAIN HID BEHIND

    HE SAID I MADE A MISTAKE
    ONE THAT I CAN'T WITHDRAW
    EXCEPT FOR THIS ENDLESS HEARTACHE
    BOY I LOST IT ALL
    I WASN'T THERE FOR HER
    WHEN HEAVEN CALLED

    I KNEW A LONELY MAN
    IN THE FINAL DAYS OF HIS LIFE
    I SAID I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN
    TAKING CARE OF MY KIDS AND WIFE

    I BUMMED HIS LAST CIGARETTE
    AND ASKED HIM FOR A LIGHT
    I TOLD HIM I WILL NEVER FORGET
    MY FAMILY NEEDS ME HOME AT NIGHT

    I SAID YOU MADE A MISTAKE
    ONE THAT YOU CAN'T WITHDRAW
    EXCEPT FOR THE ENDLESS HEARTACHE
    MISTERYOU LOST IT ALL
    I WAS THERE FOR HIM
    WHEN HEAVEN CALLED
    I WAS THERE FOR HIM
    WHEN HEAVEN CALLED

    NOTE # KIND OF A SLOW BLUESY SAD COUNTRY SONG/TEAR
    JERKER?


      SHE'S GOT IT ALL

    SHE'S GOT A RING ON HER FINGER
    A BRAND NEW HOUSE AND CAR
    SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A SINGER
    NOW SHE'S MY FAVORITE SUPERSTAR

    IT'S PLAIN TO SEE SHE'S DONE WITH ME
    SHE'S ON STAGE WHERE SHE BELONGS
    I THREW A ROCK THROUGH MY T.V.
    BECAUSE SHE SANG OUR FAVORITE SONG

    SHE'S GOT DIAMONDS BY THE DOZEN
    A REMBRANDT HANGING ON HER WALL
    SHE'S GOT MY LOVE AND MY ACHING HEART
    SHE'S GOT IT ALL
    MAN SHE'S GOT IT ALL

    SHE'S GOT HERSELF A RICH OLD MAN
    AND A BRAND NEW ATTITUDE
    WHILE CHASING DREAMS AND MAKING PLANS
    SHE FORGOT ABOUT THIS DUDE

    I'M SITTING HERE DROWNING IN MY BEER
    I BET SHE'S SWIMMING IN CHAMPAGNE
    FOR HER THE SKIES ARE ALWAYS CLEAR
    BUT ALL I GET IS RAIN

    SHE'S GOT CREDIT CARDS BY THE HANDFUL
    SHE'S GOT FANS IN MONTREAL
    SHE'S GOT MY LOVE AND MY ACHING HEART
    SHE'S GOT IT ALL
    MAN SHE'S GOT IT ALL

    I GOT DIRTY DISHES IN THE SINK
    SHE'S GOT A BUTLER AND A MAID
    I GOT SOMETHING ON MY BOOTS THAT STINK
    BILLS IN THE MAIL I NEVER PAID
    IF I SHOULD CONFESS ABOUT THIS MESS
    I KNOW THAT I'M TO BLAME
    WHILE SHE WORKED HARD FOR SUCCESS
    MY LAZY WAYS REMAINED THE SAME

    SHE'S GOT MONEY BY THE MILLIONS
    LOVERS AT HER BECK AND CALL
    SHE'S GOT MY LOVE AND MY ACHING HEART
    SHE'S GOT IT ALL
    MAN SHE'S GOT IT ALL

    NOTE # CONTEMPORARY COUNTRY/ALAN JACKSON?


      MY BEAUTIFUL
      HILLBILLY BAND


    I GOT PATTY ON THE PIANO
    RIGHT HERE IN LOGAN TOWN
    I GOT BETTY ON THE BANJO
    I LOVE THAT COUNTRY SOUND

    I GOT DREAMA ON THE DRUMS
    AND MELINDA ON THE BASS
    SUZI MAKES HER GUITAR WEEP
    WHEN SHE SINGS AMAZING GRACE

    I GOT MYSELF FIVE COUNTRY GIRLS
    WHO ARE ALWAYS IN DEMAND
    IN PIGTAILS AND LONG BLOND CURLS
    PLEASE GIVE THEM A HAND
    WEARING RHINESTONES AND IMITATION PEARLS
    MY BEAUTIFUL HILLBILLY BAND

    THEY GOT THE OLD MEN DREAMING
    ALL ABOUT THEIRYOUNGER DAYS
    THEY GOT THE OLD WOMEN SCREAMING
    BEGGING THEM TO GO AWAY

    BECAUSE WHEN THEIR MEN GET HOME
    AND OUT GOES THE LIGHT
    THEIR HUSBANDS' HANDS LIKE TO ROAM
    AND KEEP THEM UP ALL NIGHT

    I GOT MYSELF FIVE COUNTRY GIRLS
    WHO ARE ALWAYS IN DEMAND
    IN PIGTAILS AND LONG BLOND CURLS
    PLEASE GIVE THEM A HAND
    WEARING RHINESTONES AND IMITATION PEARLS

    MY BEAUTIFUL HILLBILLY BAND
    IN TIGHT JEANS AND SHORT DRESSES
    THEY ALL LOOK SO GOOD
    IN CHURCH THE PREACHER MAN CONFESSES
    HIS WOODIE AINT MADE OF WOOD
    THEY SING ABOUT LOVE AND MONEY
    AND WHY GIRLS GET THE BLUES
    I PAY THEM WITH MY KISSES
    AND A BUNCH OF I.0.U.S

    I GOT MYSELF FIVE COUNTRY GIRLS
    WHO ARE ALWAYS IN DEMAND
    IN PIGTAILS AND LONG BLOND CURLS
    PLEASE DONATE WHAT YOU CAN
    THEY DESERVE REAL DIAMONDS AND PEARLS
    MY BEAUTIFUL HILLBILLY BAND
    THERE'S NOTHING BETTER IN THIS WORLD
    MY BEAUTIFUL HILLBILLY BAND

    NOTE # COUNTRY HOEDOWN KIND OF SONG/THANKS TO ALL
    THE LADIES

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Expect the unexpected by C.R. CRANE II Copyright © 2012 by C.R.CRANE II. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

1 THE TALK OF THE TOWN....................1
2 DADDY WENT TO JAIL....................3
3 RABBIT IN THE WOOD....................5
4 SUZI MY LOVE....................7
5 BIG MOUTH BABY....................9
6 HERE COMES ME....................11
7 JOHNNY BE BAD....................13
8 SOMEBODY BETTER CALL....................15
9 BIG BEN....................17
10 I KNEW A LONELY MAN....................19
11 SHE'S GOT IT ALL....................21
12 MY BEAUTIFULHILLBILLY BAND....................23
13 YOUR HEART WON'T PARDON ME....................25
14 I LOVE THEM ALL....................27
15 I LOVE LONG GOODBYES....................29
16 YOURS FOREVER MORE....................31
17 GUYS AND GIRLS....................33
18 I'M ON FIRE....................35
19 LOVE....................37
20 HIGH ON RELIGION....................39
21 YOU DON'T NEED ME....................41
22 IT'S SO LONG....................43
23 SMART WITHYOUR HEART....................45
24 BYE BYE BLUE EYES....................47
25 EAT IT WHILE IT'S HOT....................49
26 LET THE MEMORIES BEGIN....................51
27 CHUBBY MAN....................53
28 JACK GOT CRAZY....................55
29 BORN TO PLAY....................57
30 WHY SHE DIED....................59
31 LOVING BY THE POUND....................61
32 PUPPY DOGS AND CHILDREN....................63
33 SLEEP MY DARLING....................65
34 I WANT YOU....................67
35 FALLING FOR YOUR LOVE....................69
36 SUPER GRANDMAMA....................71
37 ARE YOU CURIOUS....................73
38 HELL'S FIRE....................74
39 COMPLICATIONS....................76
40 THE BAND....................78
41 LITTLE GREEN MEN....................80
42 OH THAT SMELL....................82
43 SONGS IN THE DARK....................84
44 9/11 ALWAYS REMEMBER....................86
45 YEARS AGO....................88
46 THE FUNNY FARM....................90
47 BRAIN DEAD....................92
48 LADY KILLER....................94
49 WELCOME TO MY DAYDREAM....................96
50 THE ATTIC....................98
51 TIME....................100
52 ADULTERY....................102
53 WAR....................104
54 ONE GREAT SONG....................106
55 WITH PEN IN HAND....................108
56 TURNING DESERTS INTO MUD....................110
57 FAMILY AND FRIENDS....................112
58 ON THE WINDS OF CHANGE....................114
59 THE HILLBILLY SONG....................119
60 LOVE COMES IN MANY COLORS....................122
61 SHE'S GONE FISHING....................124
62 TEARS IN THE WIND....................126
63 MAMA'S EYES....................128
64 MACHO WOMAN....................130
65 DEVIL IN THE DARK....................132
66 FAT'S IN THE FIRE....................134
67 POUND ME LIKE A NAIL....................136
68 MY PIE....................138
69 OH HALOWWEENIE....................140
70 SEASONS OUT OF TIME....................142
71 I'M GOING HOME....................144
72 LOGAN TOWN....................146
73 I'LL STOP RIGHT HERE....................148
74 FORYOU AND ME....................150
75 I WAS ONLY HAVING FUN....................152
76 I DREAMED I WAS ONE....................154
77 SPOONS....................156
78 STRONG ENOUGH TO CARRY ON....................158
79 BALLS OF STEEL....................160
80 THE END....................162

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