Being a young man can be difficult resisting temptation, facing challenges at every turn to prove your manhood, and dealing with the torment of your natural desires.
Author R. T. Ellis is the first to admit that he didn't always make the best decisions. Here, he shares his lust-filled and hormone-fueled past in raging detail, hoping to inspire others to learn from his mistakes. Acting out of lust instead of using his heart or brain put him in some dangerous situations. Some nearly cost him his life, while others threatened his freedom and future. Often brutally honest, his story takes readers deep into his past adventures some he himself describes as good, others as bad, and more still as downright disgraceful, degrading, demeaning, and disgusting.
At his core, he now knows, is a crippling lack of self-esteem and respect for himself and his sexual partners. Somewhere along the line, the immature boy has grown into an introspective man who needs to share his story.
The father of three, R. T. is trying to move beyond the misadventures of his past. It is for his children that he has come face to face with his history; in his story, others may see themselves and the future that awaits.
Being a young man can be difficult resisting temptation, facing challenges at every turn to prove your manhood, and dealing with the torment of your natural desires.
Author R. T. Ellis is the first to admit that he didn't always make the best decisions. Here, he shares his lust-filled and hormone-fueled past in raging detail, hoping to inspire others to learn from his mistakes. Acting out of lust instead of using his heart or brain put him in some dangerous situations. Some nearly cost him his life, while others threatened his freedom and future. Often brutally honest, his story takes readers deep into his past adventures some he himself describes as good, others as bad, and more still as downright disgraceful, degrading, demeaning, and disgusting.
At his core, he now knows, is a crippling lack of self-esteem and respect for himself and his sexual partners. Somewhere along the line, the immature boy has grown into an introspective man who needs to share his story.
The father of three, R. T. is trying to move beyond the misadventures of his past. It is for his children that he has come face to face with his history; in his story, others may see themselves and the future that awaits.
eBook
Available on Compatible NOOK devices, the free NOOK App and in My Digital Library.
Related collections and offers
Overview
Being a young man can be difficult resisting temptation, facing challenges at every turn to prove your manhood, and dealing with the torment of your natural desires.
Author R. T. Ellis is the first to admit that he didn't always make the best decisions. Here, he shares his lust-filled and hormone-fueled past in raging detail, hoping to inspire others to learn from his mistakes. Acting out of lust instead of using his heart or brain put him in some dangerous situations. Some nearly cost him his life, while others threatened his freedom and future. Often brutally honest, his story takes readers deep into his past adventures some he himself describes as good, others as bad, and more still as downright disgraceful, degrading, demeaning, and disgusting.
At his core, he now knows, is a crippling lack of self-esteem and respect for himself and his sexual partners. Somewhere along the line, the immature boy has grown into an introspective man who needs to share his story.
The father of three, R. T. is trying to move beyond the misadventures of his past. It is for his children that he has come face to face with his history; in his story, others may see themselves and the future that awaits.
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781491710661 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | iUniverse, Incorporated |
| Publication date: | 11/01/2013 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| File size: | 190 KB |
Read an Excerpt
FINALLY THINKING WITH THE RIGHT HEAD
Mistakes Made in Lust and Love
By R. T. Ellis
iUniverse LLC
Copyright © 2013 R. T. EllisAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4917-1065-4
CHAPTER 1
Bear and wombat
The summer of 1994, fresh out of high school and I got a job working for the same parking company as my father. He got me the job and I was just working there until I was ready to go in the Army. The big day came and I went to the Military Enlistment Processing Station (MEPS). I got in there and walked on my knees with my hands on hips like a duck, gave them a blood and urine sample. The doctor took one listen to my chest and denied my black ass! I was born with a heart defect. After that, I felt so down and depressed because part of my life plan was shot to hell.
With no sense of direction I started looking for a higher paying job. I finally found one working at a major hotel washing pots. The job paid a dollar more an hour than I was making at the time. I was so tempted to get in the street life, but after seeing what my brother and friends went through I decided to stay legal. I even had some of my so called friends get mad at me because I would not let them use my guns or get myself involved in their conflicts. The only people I took that risk for were my brother and Lucky.
Lucky was my homeboy that lived two houses down from my father's house. One night Lucky and I went to a hole in the wall club down the street from the Georgia Dome named Superior. That club was so damn hood and ghetto! They sold forty ounce beers at the bar; there was gambling, weed smoking, cocaine snorting, and some of everything going on in that club! Lucky and I was drinking forties and dancing with women, all of a sudden I felt some titties on my back and a hand on my joystick. I liked that, so I turned around to see my admirer and I damn near screamed like a little bitch! I saw a husky dark skin woman with her hair pulled back in a bushy ponytail with displaced teeth in her mouth smiling at me. She looked like a Bearilla, a bear mixed with a gorilla. I hurried up and eased my way over to the other side of the club.
Just when I thought I was safe, I walked past the bar and saw Lucky. He signaled me to come over to where he was. As I got closer I saw the Bearilla and a floppy breasted hound dog looking lady next to him.
Lucky said, "Marc this is Hound Dog and her friend Bear. Hound Dog wants me to come home with her and her friend Bear want you to spend the night at her place."
I pulled him to the side and told him, "HELL FUCK NOOO!"
Then Lucky said, "Come on man all your musty ass going to do is go home and jack your joystick! Plus you got the straps and I need you to watch my back!"
As Lucky and I started talking I started sizing Bear up. That husky woman was about five feet nine inches and weighed about two hundred and seventy five pounds. She had big breasts that extended out more than her stomach and a big wide ass that looked like a folded sofa cushion. Without the breasts and ass, she would have looked like a starting linebacker wearing a halter top and tennis skirt. I was horny and half drunk, Lucky finally convinced me to be that strong looking woman boy toy for the night.
I gave Lucky my twenty five semi-automatic out my pocket and I got my M-11 sub machine gun that's similar to an Uzi out the trunk and we followed them in my car. These women stayed in one of the roughest projects on the eastside of Atlanta, Eastlake Meadows. When we got there I was thinking, 'Damn, I should have brought my AK!' We did not have any problems, it was late and nobody hated on us. Maybe because we were with some women that everybody had or did not want. Lucky went with Hound Dog and I went with Bear to her place.
When we walked into her apartment I was shocked. Bear had a nicely furnished and clean apartment. We started talking and the more we talked the better she looked. Bear was twenty six years old and dropped out of high school when she sixteen, because she was pregnant with her son. Then her boyfriend got her pregnant again at eighteen with her twin girls. They were together for seven years. I asked her what she was planning to do with her life. Bear was going to night school to get her G.E.D so she could become nurse.
She left me in her bedroom while she went in the bathroom to freshen up. That woman came back in the bedroom with a teddy on smelling good, I was damn near mesmerized! She was thick and shapely with beautiful chocolate skin. A good hairdo and a little dental work, she would have been a seven.
Bear got on the bed and asked me a question that gave me more respect for her.
"Do you have any rubbers?"
I replied "Hell yeah!" I never left the house without condoms and a gun, because you never know what might happen. She started kissing on my neck and chest, then Bingo! I felt those big soft lips on the top of my joystick! She started sucking the hell out my joystick! Shit! The more her head went up and down the better she looked! I thought she was a super model for a minute. I mounted that big bear and as I slid my joystick in her tight wet honey hole she let out a loud moan that was almost scary. She looked like a bear and sounded like an orangutan while I was shooting joystick to her!
WUFF AH WUFF UFF! Her deep voice making those sounds was disturbing, but strangely stimulating. When she started cuming it damn near scared the shit out of me! She sounded like Barry White when she said "AH SHIT OOOO BABY" I don't know how I stayed hard, but I did! I'm not going to lie her honey hole was good. I fucked her big ass for an hour or two and could not cum. Afterwards I held her and we went to sleep.
Seven o'clock in the morning I heard a knock at the door. I woke her up and told her someone was at the door.
She said, "I told him it was over!"
"Told who?" I replied.
"My kids father, give me a minute I will handle this."
She put her robe on and went downstairs. I got up and put my clothes on, grabbed my gun out my bag and cocked it. Five minutes later I heard somebody coming up the stairs and I positioned myself about seven feet from the door. I took the safety off my gun, put my hand with the gun it behind my back and gritted my teeth. The footsteps got closer and the door opened. She came back in the room by herself, then I relaxed and put my gun up.
"What da matta?" Bear said.
I replied, "I was prepared just in case he wanted to act ignorant!"
"Was that a real Uzi?" She said.
"Yes." I replied.
"So you were about to shoot that thing in my house!" Bear said with a scared look on her face.
"Only as a last resort, if he had a gun and I could not reason with him." I replied.
She started asking a lot of questions that were starting to irritate me, but I stayed calm and answered them.
"Do you sell dope?
Why you got an Uzi?
Have you ever shot anybody?
Do you really work at a hotel washing pots?"
I answered her questions and eased her mind. She started talking about her kid's father and all the things he was involved in. That dude was selling crack and sniffing cocaine. Then that fool started smoking those damn geek joints. Snorting cocaine was not enough he had to mix that shit with weed. She went on to say that he almost got her and their kids killed messing around with drugs.
After reassuring her that I was legit and I only drink occasionally, we talked a little while longer and started having sex. I still could not cum; she finally sucked on my joystick until I shot cum all over her big chocolate titties. As she wiped my semen off her titties she asked, "How come it take so much for you to cum?" I almost said,' because you are not my cup of tea!' But instead I told her I was not comfortable in her neighborhood. She shrugged her shoulders and let out a sigh and offered to cook me breakfast. I declined the offer and got dressed. Hell! I don't eat everybody food or honey hole! I gave her a hug and kiss goodbye and left to pick up Lucky.
Bear called Hound Dog and told her I was on my way. When I pulled up to Hound Dog apartment I parked and got out of my car. Lucky came out the door with a look of disgust and shame on his face, we approached each other and bowed our heads in shame. Lucky and I simultaneously started mock crying. "EEEE HA EEEE," we gave each other some dap and got in the car. He then proceeded to give me the details about his night with Hound Dog.
"Man why in the hell you talked me into coming out here with you?" Lucky said with a look of extreme disgust on his face."
"Go to hell you bowlegged ass sniffing bastard! This shit was your idea!" I replied.
"Fuck You! You constipated, crusty tittie licking mother fucker!" Lucky replied, as we laughed at each other's insults.
"Man that is one nasty ass bitch! When we went into the house it stunk like hell; because of all the trash in the kitchen and dirty diapers everywhere. We go into her bedroom and her ten year old daughter in the bed with her two year old son. That raggedy ass woman left those babies at home by their selves to go to the damn club! She put her kids in their room and came back. She came back to the room stripped but ass naked and said what's up and I said not my joystick! She came over to me and put one of those big floppy salty titties in my mouth. I told her to lie down and I started tittie fucking her. She started licking and sucking on my joystick. That shit felt so good dog I skeeted all over face and in her mouth. Then she swallowed it!" Lucky made a perverted face and we started laughing.
I asked Lucky what else happened and he replied,
"Not a damn thing! My joystick could not stay hard!"
"Why?" I asked.
Lucky shook his head and said, "She was halfway musty and her honey hole stunk!"
Hell, I couldn't say anything because I felt him on that. I told him about my experience with Bear on the way home. I dropped Lucky off and went home. Soon as I got in the house my pager started going off. I went in the house and the aroma of salmon, biscuits, grits, and coffee was in the air. I jumped my ass in the shower, got fresh, and went to the kitchen to talk to my father.
When I made it to the kitchen Pop had started on dinner. That man could cook his ass off! My parents separated when I was thirteen. I stayed with my mom in Vine City for about a year and moved back with Pop. I got my first job when I fifteen and started helping with the bills since then, and I even paid off the second mortgage. He taught me at an early age you have to pay to stay. Okay, I am back to the story now!
"Marc, I made some breakfast if you hungry." Pop said with a smile on his face.
"Yes Sir, you got the house smelling good." I replied as I begun to fix me a plate.
"Wee Doggy! I'm making meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, cabbages, and corn bread for dinner." Pop said as I was getting out his way.
"I can't wait!" I replied on my way to my room to dig into my plate. Soon as I started eating Bear paged me again. I finished my breakfast and called her back.
Damn I should have never gave her my pager number because her big ass was blowing my shit up! When I called her she wanted to know if I was coming to see her. I pulled a quick lie out my ass and told her my father was going to use my car. That heifer said she would come to me. I thought about it and I wanted to see if she was going to catch a cab over my house and bring me a twelve pack of beer. So out of respect I asked my father could she come over? I already knew the answer. Hell I had a live in girlfriend when I was younger! I gave her my address and an hour later she pulled up in a cab.
My ego was big as hell knowing that a woman caught a cab to my house to bring me some beer and give me some honey hole. She got out of the cab and I greeted her with a hug. Bear had also brought some weed and gin. She wanted to smoke her weed so we went down to Lucky house. We popped some beers and they smoked the weed. When we left there she was high and horny. My father was still gone in my car when we got back to my house.
I took her in my room and it was on. I was fucking her every which away! She bent that big shiny ass over and told me to stick my joystick in her poot shooter. I grabbed the KY jelly and happily obliged her. I am so glad Pop was gone because she really started screaming when I slid my joystick in her poot shooter! After a few minutes she screamed that's enough and rolled over. I took that rubber off and stuck my joystick straight in her mouth. That damn Bear had me shooting cum all over her titties and neck! We took a shower and I made us some plates of that good ass dinner pop made. We were sipping on Gin and Juice and watching TV as we ate. We finished eating and Bear looked at me and said,
"I really like you a lot. I like the way you talk to me and the way you make me feel in side. You are a good man and I want you to be mine. I want you to have a key to my house; you can claim my kids on your taxes and just give me five hundred dollars."
I interrupted her and said, "Look sweetheart, I am not ready for that type of relationship. I need some time to think about it."
I kissed her on the forehead and we went to sleep. I dropped her off at home the next morning. I was driving home and thinking about her offer. If I would have claimed two of her kids I could have got four grand back, minus her cut I would have had thirty five hundred dollars in my pocket. Then a getaway spot where I would have got served up. That's a good deal, but not for me.
Even though I had started liking Bear as a person, the fact still remained that she grabbed my wiggle rod at the club and put it in her mouth less than two hours after we met. First impressions are lasting ones. She was sexually aggressive and made me feel like a boy toy. How many men she did that to before me? I did not mind being her sex partner, but if she wanted more she should have presented herself better to me. If something come to easy, it's usually bad for you. I was part the blame, I should not have slept with her if I had no intent on being with her. I am not or have not ever used anybody. So I called and told her that I could not be with her, but we still could hang out. I started breaking away from her.
One day I went to Underground Atlanta before I had gone work. I was about to leave when I saw this chick I went to high school with. This woman stood about five feet four inches and weighed about one hundred and eighty pounds and had big breasts with a pretty smile. She had on nurse scrubs and looked like a cute little Wombat. I had a conversation with her for a few minutes, got her telephone number and headed off to work. I was thinking about her while I was at work. She funny looking in a cute way, she has a job and only one child. Versus a Bear with three children living in the projects on welfare getting food stamps
In my mind the Wombat was a step up. Okay I will give the Wombat an honest try. So when I got off from work I gave her a call. We talked on the phone for a few hours and I found out a lot about her. She had a four-year-old girl and the baby had been molested by her own father, so she was cautious about whom she brought around her child. When I heard that shit I wanted to hunt him down and give him a long and painful ass whipping. As a man you are the protector and provider. How the fuck you rob a child, especially your own child of their purity and innocence! Sick son of a bitch, I hope he got ass fucked and pissed on like the sorry bitch he is! Wombat and I dated for a few weeks and during that time I was seeing Bear when I needed to get a thrill.
Wombat and I started getting closer so I stopped seeing Bear. I should have kept seeing Bear because sex with Wombat was dull and unfulfilling for both of us. Do you want me to be honest or lie! She was such a lazy fuck she had me doubting my stroke game! She hardly sucked joystick and all she did was lay there and moan. I can't remember even coming while I was with her. Sometimes I had trouble keeping my joystick hard! I feed off my partner's energy and if she's not into it I'm not into it. Yes, I am admitting that I gave her good sex: half the time. Besides sex we had an all right relationship. She lived with her mom and whoever said you can tell a lot about a woman by looking at her mother was right in this case. Wombat mother had two kids younger than her four-year-old daughter.
This 30 or 40 year old heifer had a three-year-old daughter in a two-year-old son by her 65-year-old sugar daddy. This woman was using the hell out that old man and was taking care of her boyfriend with his money. Isn't that some mess! The Apple did not fall far from the tree! One day Wombat asks me to borrow my car while I was at work. That's when my common sense alarm went off in my head. She lost her job and wanted to run the streets while I was at work. That's a damn no no! So of course I said "Hell naw!" I noticed changes in her since she wasn't working. That's when I noticed she had a lack of focus. We slowly started drifted apart.
One day we were chilling and her cousin who lived in White Homes gave her a call. He got into some shit and he wanted to know if I could help him get a chopper. So we went over there so I could talk to him.
"What's up Cuz?" I said as I gave him dap.
Cuz replied, "Nothing much dog this is my baby mama Tiger.
I said, "Hello", and when she spoke back she gave me an inconspicuous I want you look. I ignored it and talked to Cuz.
She was cute with a nice body but like I said I forgot all about her and how she looked. So Cuz and I went around the corner to his mom's house. I told Cuz I could take him to get a chopper legit and he just needed $350. He said cool and we can go Friday. We went back to Tiger's mom house and Wombat and I left.
A day or two later Wombat and I were over her house and her phone rung. It was her best friend on the phone. Her best friend is her ex-boyfriend sister. She had called Wombat to tell her that her brother was back in town. I just played dumb like I did not know what was going on. Cuz called me finally after two weeks, so I picked him up from his mom house and took him to get a chopper. So we got the gun and went back to his mother's house.
Cuz said, "I do not see how you are going to take a gun that shoots 10 times and make it shoot 50 times!"
I said, "Just sit back and relax and watch me do my magic."
I took the gun apart and I took the 10 round magazine out and put the gun back together. Then I slapped the 50 round magazine in. I gave him the finished product and he look like he had just won the lotto.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from FINALLY THINKING WITH THE RIGHT HEAD by R. T. Ellis. Copyright © 2013 R. T. Ellis. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
Contents
Introduction, ix,Chapter 1 Bear and Wombat, 1,
Chapter 2 The Tiger, 14,
Chapter 3 Getting Out of Tiger's Claws, 29,
Chapter 4 Pissy Cat and Gazelle, 42,
Chapter 5 Pretty Hippo and Gopher, 61,
Chapter 6 The Chameleon Monkey, 72,
Chapter 7 Married to Monkey, 85,
Chapter 8 Trying to Get That Monkey Off My back, 100,
Chapter 9 My Koala Bear, 112,
Chapter 10 The Hyena and Cougar, 123,
Summary, 135,
Be Careful Who You Love, 137,