Go from dreaming of possibilities to creating and living a new reality. Going from where you are to where you want to be is not about chance, but choice and commitment!
Uchechi Ezurike-Bosse takes the reader through how they’ve created their life up to this point, and gives them simple yet powerful tools and strategies to help them consciously become a deliberate creator of their life.
This book unlocks the key and connects metaphysical and spiritual laws and principals to mindset conditioning. It shares simple, powerful and actionable strategies to help the reader achieve the transformation they want in all areas of their life.
The reader will walk away knowing how to set goals that are aligned to their true value and purpose and break through limiting beliefs and blocks that stop them from being the person they need to be to get the results they want.
Whether the reader is looking to live a life of more purpose, passion or fulfillment, this book will show readers how to bridge the gap to their dreams.
“In times like these, the world is in dire need of compassionate and heart-centered leadership. The very fate of our planet may depend on it. Uchechi Ezurike-Bosse’s capacity to create and sustain positive change is unmatched; her passion is unmistakable, and her authenticity is evident the moment you hear her speak. If you want to shift your personal or professional life from tired to inspired, I highly recommend her work!”
Michael J. Chase — Bestselling Author, Speaker, and Founder of The Kindness Center
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Read an Excerpt
From Aspiration to Fulfillment
Bridging the Gap From Where You are to Where You Want to Be
By Uchechi Ezurike-Bosse
Balboa PressCopyright © 2017 Uchechi Ezurike-Bosse
All rights reserved.
Your Current Conditions
"The greatest act of courage is to be and to own all of who you are - without apology, without excuses, without masks to cover the truth of who you are."
~ Debbie Ford
If you're reading this book, then it's a safe bet that there's an area of your life you want to improve, or a goal you want to achieve. It could be to have a committed and loving relationship, or sharing your gifts through business ownership or having freedom to travel the world. It doesn't matter what the form of your desire is, chances are you have it.
The truth is, we all have this need. It's a human condition to want more and to live the fullest expression of ourselves. It's our soul yearning to be fully expressed. My beloved teacher, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer, used to sing the song "Don't fence me in" when he used to speak on stage, to refer to how the soul longs to be expressed. Our soul wants to be set free and to fully express itself, because being confined goes against our soul's purpose.
To live fully and freely may be a hard concept to grasp because many of us have lived our lives being confined. We've been conditioned to limit ourselves to what we can have, be and do. We've held ourselves back in so many ways. It seems like only a limited number of people actually feel free to live the life they want.
In order to take you on the journey of getting from where you are to where you want to be, I want you to first start by taking inventory of your current circumstances. I believe in order to head to a new destination, it's important to first identify your starting point.
Whatever you're experiencing in this moment has been a result of your past thoughts, beliefs and actions. I know this is not the first time you've heard this, nor will it be the last time, because it's the ultimate truth. Anything that you have in your life has been manifested by you whether consciously or- often times- unconsciously.
If you feel you have little control, and your outside world is controlling your life, let this be your wake-up call. It's time to take responsibility. What's great about this is that regardless of what is happening around you, you have the ability to transcend it. It means you don't have to wait or depend on anybody or any circumstance outside of you to change. It means you can take back control and do what's needed in order to transform your life.
You might be asking how it is you've manifested your current conditions. How is it you got to where you're now sitting?
Your current conditions are nothing but a projection of past thoughts, feelings and actions. They are memories of your past showing up in physical manifestation.
Here's the thing, you are always and forever creating. You're a manifesting machine and most times operate on autopilot. This autopilot is your subconscious mind. It's in the driver's seat controlling your environment, based on your thoughts and beliefs.
Look at your habitual thoughts, words and beliefs about your life. Do you believe that life is a struggle? Maybe you have a deep belief that money is hard to get and you're not worthy of it. How about the belief that you can't make a living doing what you love? These are the types of beliefs many people have that hold them back. This was the case for me. I had a big belief that being rich was not safe and because of this, I struggled to make ends meet.
I always feared having large amounts of cash in my wallet or at home. I would get really nervous in the possession of large bills; it just did not feel safe. If I had to pay cash for something and a large amount, the act of handing out large bills scared me. I feared someone seeing the large amount of money would want to rob or hurt me in some way to get it.
This subconscious fear limited the amount of wealth I allowed myself to have. Anything above a certain threshold, I would unconsciously resist. It was work and still is, for me to clear this belief and instil new empowering ones.
To identify the limiting beliefs you hold, it's good to look back to your childhood as a starting point. It is said that before the age of six or seven, the majority of your beliefs were formed. I first learnt this through the teachings of Bob Proctor. Before the age of seven, whatever we heard and experienced was dropped into our subconscious mind. Our mind was an open vessel and we did not have the conscious awareness to refute anything that was implanted in it.
Whatever we observed in our environment was impressed directly into our subconscious mind and became our beliefs. Those formative years have been described as a type of hypnosis. When we watched and observed the actions of our parents and those in authority, those behaviours dropped straight into our subconscious mind.
I recently read an interview with Dr. Bruce Lipton, a stem cell biologist, bestselling author and international speaker. Dr. Lipton in the interview stated that psychologists believe that 70% of the conditioning downloaded before the age of seven was limiting beliefs that are self-sabotaging and disempowering. These beliefs hold you back and do not support your dreams and desires. No wonder many people struggle to achieve their goals!
So, if you grew up in a household where your parents struggled for money and found it difficult to achieve success and they openly expressed it through their words, then that information dropped down to you. With repetition and emotion, you took on those same beliefs.
This is the same as 'stories' you may have written about yourself. If you were told you weren't smart enough or pretty enough and that people like you can't do something, then that became the story you wrote about yourself and life.
Whatever area you may be struggling in, it is nothing but a result of some long-held beliefs about yourself.
A lot of people have been conditioned to believe that they are neither good enough nor worthy and that becomes the lens from which they see their world. From that perspective you'll see things that prove your thoughts to be true, thus reinforcing your beliefs.
If you've created conditions you don't want, then see this as an opportunity for healing and growth. When you see it from this perspective you come from an empowered place versus feeling like a victim to your circumstance. Welcome it as a chance to heal past errors in the thinking that led you here.
Cycle of Reality
I want to share something I first came across when I was doing my life coaching certification. I trained under Master Life Coach Mark Fournier through his program Life Mastery ~ A Course of Action. In this course, I was introduced to a concept that explains why and how we see the reality we perceive.
The cycle of reality starts with your focus. This focus can be conscious or unconscious. As you'll learn in more detail in this book, everything you focus on expands and you'll see and experience more of the same things in your life. More than likely your biggest focus has been on areas of your life that you'd like to change and things that appear to not be working for you.
The next step Mark teaches is your self-talk, which is formed based on what you've been focusing on. Self-talk is nothing more than your habitual thoughts that constantly go on in your head. When your self talk is focused on a particular area, you give it power to create more of the same whether your self-talk and focus is good or bad.
Your self-talk then begins to take on a life of its own and turns into a story you create about how life is. The fleeting thoughts of 'Oh my, I have a hard time balancing my books', becomes a story of how "Even if I make money, I'll lose it because I suck at handling money!" With every thought you have regarding the situation, you build on it and it becomes stronger.
Once you've convinced yourself of the story and you buy into it, it then becomes the reality that you perceive. Your belief in the story is so real despite any evidence to the contrary.
Once your story is in place, it then affects the way you feel. Going back to the example of how you're unable to balance your books because you suck at handling money, you begin to feel badly about money and the lack of it in your life, convinced that there is no way you can ever get past it and have more than enough to live on!
Your feelings then affect the way you behave. Mark's famous for saying; 'we behave appropriately to the way we feel.' So you begin to hoard money and possible try to haggle your way into getting discounts and paying less and not even looking at another possibility for increasing your income. Your awareness, feeling and energy is on lack and as a result you behave accordingly.
The final cycle of reality Mark teaches is evidence. Because you're the cause of what you see based on your thoughts and feelings, your outer world reflects it back to you. You create evidence that supports your focus, self-talk, stories, reality, feeling and behaviour, and the cycle starts all over again. As you haggle your way to get deals and hoard, you then create more circumstances where you feel the need to continue to hoard and not have enough. As a result, it confirms your perceived reality that there's never enough money, you feel stuck and again your focus is on lack.
I'd like to share an example that I've seen in my own life that illustrates this. I grew up in a single parent home and it was always my mom and two sisters. The majority of the friends I grew up with were also raised in a single mother household. As a result, my focus and belief was on the unavailability of men, because I did not see them in my life growing up.
I created the story of how men were never around and being in a so-called 'traditional' household was not the norm. My friends and I would say how 'there are no good men out there'. Consequently, this became my reality, as I was single most of my adulthood, thus reinforcing my belief of men being unavailable.
I remember feeling so frustrated at being single and wanting to meet someone who would feel the same about me as I did about them. Going out in the hopes of meeting someone almost felt like a waste of time because I felt I was not meeting the 'right one'. So I behaved appropriately to my feeling by resisting going out and meeting new people. As a result of my behaviour, I was not able to meet someone, thus again providing 'evidence' of my story of men not being available.
The ironic part was that on the day that I decided to go out with my sisters and some friends, even though I didn't feel like it and almost did not go out, was when I met the man who is now my husband. I would have missed out on him and our beautiful family had I remained stuck in my story.
Acknowledge and accept your current conditions
You now have a better idea of how it is you've manifested the conditions you presently face. In order to get to where you truly desire, it's important to first acknowledge and accept your current conditions. Take inventory of your current beliefs that have led you here.
Some people may find this difficult to do because they don't want to look at their 'shadows', but it's in looking at them and shining the light that those shadows can disappear.
A great exercise to do is to grab a piece of paper and a pen and start journaling. Write out what you feel your current conditions are and how you feel about it. Write things that you feel good about and things you'd like to change. The writing is not meant for you to obsess over things that may not be working for you, but rather a way to take inventory of your current conditions. If you're in debt, then find out the total amount and write it down. Please do not judge nor condemn yourself as you do this exercise. It's simply to bring into awareness your starting-point and areas of opportunity.
When doing this exercise, do it from a place of excitement, knowing that it's being written in order for transformation to occur. You are writing it down to identify areas of opportunities that you can improve upon.
Remember everything that has happened in your past that was not aligned to your desire was preparing you to now receive my words. You didn't make any mistakes nor should you place any blame for not yet achieving what you want. That is just your ego speaking. Everything that has occurred has led you to this point: the point where you're now ready for massive transformation. You're now ready to commit to making your dreams a reality and manifesting your heart's desire. So this is not about blame nor guilt, but an exciting opportunity that now awaits you!
As you take inventory of your current conditions, start to pay attention to what you tend to focus on. Is your mind pre-occupied with the bills you have and conditions that you want changed, or do you focus and daydream about what you want? What shows up in your regular conversations? All of this is creating your current conditions. You may not think it's important, but it is!
Take note as well of the people you surround yourself with. Jim Rohn famously said "we're the average of the five people we spend the most time with." If those people are habitual complainers take note, because chances are you'll take that on. If they hold great visions for themselves and inspire you to reach beyond where you are, take note of that too! These people greatly influence who you can be.
Allowing your shadows to feel safe
Acknowledging areas of your life that you may not like is what brings it to the surface, and creates a safe environment for you to feel so you can let it go.
We're told many times to only focus on the positive and resist the negative. However, I believe this causes the negative feelings to be stronger, because you're giving more energy to it, thus impressing it further into your mind and not allowing it the opportunity to be expressed. You are repressing the feeling and as a result it remains inside of you and sooner or later will find another outlet for release. As the saying goes, 'whatever you resist persists'.
When you safely allow your negative feelings to come up, you give it the space it needs to express and diminish. This happened to me. I had feelings I kept repressing and I had an energy healer tell me to allow it to come up and express it. I oftentimes feared my physical safety, felt trapped and a loss of control. I hated feeling this way and would try to get it out of my mind.
The energy healer said something that was a big 'aha' for me. She said, when you affirm the positive (through affirmations) and the negative voice comes up and you keep fighting to shut it up with the positive affirmation it's almost like you confuse your subconscious mind. It overloads it. I'll be explaining the subconscious mind in more detail later, but it really is like a computer. You do not want to overload it and that was exactly what I was doing when I was fighting my negative emotions by throwing more positive affirmation to it.
She told me to simply let the feelings come and it will only last about 5 seconds and then it'll go away. Just like that. And it did. Now some people may have more difficulty doing this, but I found for me, the less I pushed and pressured the feeling, the less it fought back. It's similar to what Liz Gilbert wrote in her book Big Magic when she says; "It seems to me that the less I fight my fear, the less it fights back. If I can relax, fear relaxes, too."
Another example I've heard that paints a beautiful picture is to see that voice and feeling like your inner child. Because, like I said, most of the programming we have that keeps us stuck was impressed when we were children and now runs our lives. So, it's like the child expressing its fears and we're forcing it to shut up. If we can simply see that voice and fear as our inner child and give it the space to express its feelings, be heard and seen, it'll then feel safe enough to calm down and the feeling will then dissipate.
I know my fear of physical safety that I just mentioned, came as a result of a traumatic event I had as a child. At the age of six, my sisters and I were almost abducted by a close family member and that experience left a huge impact on me. I remember seeing that family member getting out of a car and about three other men came out with him, swiftly walking towards us. My mother immediately started to scream in fear, and one of my sisters ran off. Being only six, I was taken with my mother and my other sister, forced into a car and they attempted to drive off. My mother refusing to allow them to drive off had her foot out attempting to stop them.
Thank goodness my mother saw a lady that used to baby-sit for us, and called out to her to call the police. I don't remember a lot after that, other than being stuck and feeling trapped in the car and the energy of anxiety and fear all around me.
I strongly believe this event led to my mild case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and abnormal sense of fear for my physical safety because I felt a profound sense of loss of control, fear and anxiety.
I still struggle with OCD, but I now let myself off the hook for sometimes feeling fearful when I shouldn't. I know this is my inner child's imprint and expression of fear due to the events of my past. It's the memory replaying itself, only now I'm an adult and not in the same situation. My work is not to shut off that voice, but give it space to feel heard, supported, and safe, so the energy can flow out of me.
Excerpted from From Aspiration to Fulfillment by Uchechi Ezurike-Bosse. Copyright © 2017 Uchechi Ezurike-Bosse. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - Your Current Conditions, 1,
Chapter 2 - Owning your Power, 13,
Chapter 3 - Working with the Laws of the Universe, 26,
Chapter 4 - The Marvellous Working of your Mind, 41,
Chapter 5 - The Power of your Imagination, 56,
Chapter 6 - Clearing Space and Overcoming Resistance, 80,
Chapter 7 - Living in Alignment, 95,
Chapter 8 - Divine Guidance, 108,
Quotes to Inspire, 129,
About the Author, 141,