Gilbert Beaufromage, a compulsive giver, gives his wife, Suzanne, a subway token as a 6-week anniversary gift. It upsets her however, as her uncle died on the subway.
He tries to make good with a gift of "da Bomb" perfume but it only causes her face to swell up. Her cries are overheard by next-door neighbor, FBI agent Daniel Dinkleberry, who mistakenly thinks he's stumbled across criminal activity. Meanwhile a 100% died-in-the-wool terrorist cell opens up shop across the street.
Suzanne's hairdresser suggests she fight fire with fire and return the favor to Gilbert but Suzanne's spiteful gifts are met with appreciation from Gilbert while his subsequently innocent gifts only give her - and the Miami FBI - cause for alarm.
The terrorists think the FBI is onto them, so they use Gilbert as an unwitting accomplice. A cell phone soon blows up at a horse race, an exploding champagne cork narrowly misses the president, an exploding chocolate almost takes out the Pope and Castro receives an exploding cigar.
Through it all, the terrorists stay one step ahead of the FBI, who move Gilbert to a new safe zone after each bombing, in an effort to beef up security and stop the carnage which has yet to include civilian casualties.
The FBI are convinced Gilbert is trying to kill his wife. An innocent looking shoe box arrives for Suzanne from Gilbert. It blows up, almost killing her mother-in-law. Suzanne and Gilbert continue "struggling" with their relationship and the FBI finally convinces her to testify against him.
Suzanne's divorce papers arrive at the Gaza Strip where Gilbert has fallen into the wrong hands and faces torture. To end the punishment, he must give up what he cherishes most - his wife.
He faces a firing squad but he has one last gift to give. Can it save his marriage, his life and everybody within 100 feet?
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About the Author
Dave Belisle is a Vietnam War draft dodger ... his mother escorting him north of the border at the tender age of 8. He's returned to Calgary -- not as a Stampede side show -- but to transform that Rocky Mountain air into raucous laughter ... give or take a foothill. There's no armistice on anecdotes, no flat tire in satire ... and your busted funny bone IS covered by Canadian health care.