Read an Excerpt
How To Cope With Unemployment, Find A Job In Any Economy, And Save Money
By Ronald D. Henderson
AuthorHouse
Copyright © 2012 Ronald D. Henderson, RN
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-4193-9
Chapter One
Sharpening Your Focus
Setting Your Priorities
As I reflect on my situation, when I was unemployed, there were three areas I had to focus on:
1. I had to cope with unemployment and maintain my sanity.
2. I had to focus on taking the steps I needed to take, to obtain employment.
3. I had to focus on saving as much money as I could to sustain myself.
These are three key areas that people face when they suddenly become unemployed and are trying to obtain employment. This book is presented focusing on these three areas to help you obtain employment. Read this book and use the tools presented to you. I'm sure you will find these tools enlightening and useful in helping you to reach your goal in obtaining employment and ultimately achieving financial independence.
Reassuring Yourself and Your Family
When you become unemployed, you will have mixed emotions, feel betrayed, feel isolated, left in a quandary, not knowing what to do. One of the first things you should do is to reassure yourself and your family, in the midst of shaken confidence, and mixed emotions, that everything will be alright and enlist their cooperation while you are unemployed. This is very important.
When you do this, you have put a positive spin on your situation and it forces you to take the positive steps you need to take, to find a way to move forward and do what you have to do, to obtain employment.
When you are honest with your kids and enlist their cooperation, in time, they will understand. Tell them that there will be difficult days ahead. Let them know that they will have to help you save money, and not be wasteful. Teach them how important it is to conserve and not waste food, and turn off the lights when they are not using them.
Stay positive, be strong and forge ahead. These are life lessons that will serve you and your family well.
Looking At My Ladder of Success Model
When Fully Employed
Enabling YOU
To Achieve SUCCESS
When you are fully employed, just think about the things you are accomplishing on a daily basis and what you are able to achieve. You are able to provide for yourself and your family all the basics; food, clothing, and shelter. You set goals for yourself and have found your life purpose. You have earned the respect of your family and your community, developed trusting relationships with family and friends. Based on your support systems you are validated by family, friends and associates. Life is good. You are motivated to set higher goals for yourself: and attain your version of success and the American Dream. You are secure, you are proud of yourself and your achievements; you have adequate resources for yourself and enough to help others that you care for.
Your road or climb to success, may not have been smooth sailing, or easy. Most people have their share of bumps in the road, but work things out and go on to fulfill their life's purpose, and leave a legacy they can be proud of. Take the time to think about someone, who has worked, but has experienced a layoff, lost their job through no fault of their own, or has experienced several layoffs. These unfortunate occurrences have happened to millions of Americans. Read on. Examine the stark contrast between being fully employed and becoming unemployed, and how your life is affected, and your entire life is rocked to the core.
Questions That You Will Have When You Become Unemployed, That Will Have You Pondering, What Steps You Should Take To Get Your Life Back To Normal And Become Employed Again!!!
Life changes that happen when you are unemployed; Almost everything comes into question. How will you provide for your basic human needs and those of your family, food clothing, & shelter? What will my family think about me if I am not able to provide for them? Am I going to have to forget about all the dreams, goals and aspirations I have set for myself and my family? Will my family still love me if I can't provide for them? What does my family, my friends, and my community think of me being unemployed? What do I really believe about myself now that I'm unemployed? Now, when the chips are down, do I have the confidence to move on, or am I just going to feel sorry for myself and give up on life? Will my wife, girlfriend, partner, stand by me and help me through this, or will they abandon me? Does anyone respect me now that I am unemployed? How has my belief system changed now that I am unemployed? I thought I was well on my way to achieving some level of accomplishment, but now that I'm unemployed, what can I do, how will I move forward? Just the thought of starting all over again makes me cringe. Will I be able to handle being unemployed without going out of my mind?
Undoubtedly, these are some of the questions you will be asking yourself when you are unemployed. You will feel like you have a big hole in your soul because, the very definition of who you are changes when you become unemployed. Many of these questions you have for yourself cannot be answered as soon as you find yourself unemployed. As time goes on, the answers to all of your questions will come. Many of the answers to your questions will depend on you, and how you are able to adapt and cope with your unemployment situation.
Physiological Needs; Sleep and Homeostasis:
You will undoubtedly have some sleepless nights and your life will be off balance. Your body chemistry changes. Your biorhythms are off balance, whenever your normal daily schedule is altered or interrupted. You may feel as though you are experiencing what is commonly referred to as jet lag. However, the jet lag you are experiencing, a feeling of being off kilter, is not because of flying through time zones, or layovers at airports, etc. The jet lag you are experiencing is due to your unemployment status. Your daily normal, routine has been altered, often times unexpectedly, or without sufficient time to make adjustments. Take the time to assess your situation and carefully make the adjustments you need to make, to get your life back on track. Don't downsize your hopes and dreams. Believe your best life is ahead of you, in spite of your circumstances.
Safety; Full Employment, Healthcare, Resources:
When you are unemployed, you have a lack of resources and a decreased ability to support yourself. You may have some decreased access to healthcare. You will be forced to put safety needs and health needs on the back burner, so to speak, while other needs take precedence. You will be forced to prioritize necessities.
Love and belonging; Family Support and Sexual intimacy:
Your friends abandon you and you have decreased socialization because you are unemployed. You will have to reassure your family, when you are least able to maintain your sanity and care for yourself, because of the changes that have occurred in your life due to unemployment.
Sexual intimacy:
Sexual intimacy often is dramatically decreased when you don't have the resources to care for yourself, your family, your spouse and your love ones.
Esteem; Self Esteem, Confidence, Achievement:
Your definition of who you are changes based on your unemployment status. Your self esteem sinks to a low point when you lose your job. Your confidence is challenged and your sense of achievement sinks deeper and deeper when seeking employment and multiple doors are closed on you. Your survival skills, instinctual skills, your faith and your ability to adapt to your unemployment status are tested every moment of your life. Tough choices have to be made and acted upon for your very survival. Sometimes conflict and strife may start because of your feelings or the feelings of other family members to cope with your unemployment status. As difficult as it may be, reassure your family that everything will be alright in time. All family members, operating as a cohesive unit, as a family, together, will survive, and thrive, and be stronger in the end.
Being unemployed and abusing alcohol and drugs as well, exacerbates all of your losses inherent in your hierarchy of needs, as illustrated in my Ladder of Success Model as your soul is contained in those needs. Inevitably you will be on a downward spiral toward disaster, unless you get help.
You and only you, have to make the life changing decision to abstain from drug use, and be able to make the choice, to change your life for your survival and avoid disaster.
Problems with Drinking or Drug abuse:
1. A strained, dysfuntional relationship with your family and friends that had been congenial in the past
2. Interrupted sleep pattern
3. Increased aggression
4. Thought pattern disturbance
5. Poor health condition
6. Poor hygiene
7. Bad work habits
8. Poor money management
If you have a problem with drug abuse and your drug abuse interferes with your day to day functioning, and you are exhibiting any combination of the behaviors listed for alcohol abuse, Narcotics Anonymous can help. Narcotics Anonymous can be contacted by looking in the phone book. If you cannot find a listing in your phone book the World Service Office can be reached @ www.na.org or
World Service office P.O. Box 999 VanNuys, Ca. 91409 USA Tel. (818)773-9999 Fax(818) 700-0700
Socialization
When you were working, you came in contact with several people each day as a part of your normal daily routine. Your daily social interaction with your coworkers, business associates and your friends was automatic. Now that you are unemployed, how many people do you interact or socialize with. Depending on your financial condition, half of the people you interact with may be bill collectors, if you don't have caller ID, and still answer the phone. How exciting is that? When you were working, very few if any bill collectors called you, because you were able to pay your bills. Now that you are unemployed perhaps a month goes by before you interact with the same number of people that you interacted with daily, when you were working. Your so called friends don't call you, because they know that you are unemployed, and they fear that you may ask them for something or for some money. The point is, your socialization drops off suddenly and dramatically because you come in contact with so few people now that you are unemployed. You feel so isolated and alone.
At this time you need to make the choice, to take some action steps that will change your situation. Get a diary. Formulate a plan of action, based on the tips and guidelines in this book. Get out into society. You have much more time on your hands. Make the choice to seek a better life for yourself, and get into the best physical shape of your life. Make the choice to change your mindset and behavior as needed. Everyday recite positive affirmations and take action. Let this time be memorable, for the time you made the choice not to be the victim of circumstance, but to be triumphant and successful.
Cycle of Poverty
Cycle of Poverty
You are a person who depends on working and full employment to support yourself and your family.
As you obtain employment, continue to work and climb the ladder of success, you are able to obtain all of your basic human needs, establish some meaningful relationships, and realize some sense of security and homeostasis.
Just when you have begun to achieve your level of security and sense of balance and accomplishment, through no fault of your own, you lose your job. You fall off of your ladder of success, and the longer you are unemployed, the farther you fall all the way back down to the point where you are struggling for basic human needs again.
When you find another job, you start all over again, first obtaining those safety and security, basic human needs again, and then proceeding to climb that ladder of success to obtain the higher levels of success that you desire. You are among the last hired and will probably be among the first fired or furloughed should your business experience a slow down.
You lose your job again only to fall off the ladder of success again to began your struggle for basic human needs again.
This is a continuing cycle for you and explains the cycle of poverty for those of us who depend on our jobs for full employment, and who do not have the means to control our own destiny.
Today, we have the tools we need to change some of these conditions. Some of the steps we all can take to literally change our destiny, are contained in the latter chapters of this book.
Warning Signs and Unusual Behavior
Indicators for Immediate Help
Warning Signs and Unusual Behavior Indicators for Immediate Help
1. Suicidal or homicidal ideations.
2. Delusional thoughts that you feel you have no control of.
3. Isolation, You feel you have nobody to turn to, other people won't understand your situation.
4. Thoughts of harming yourself or others.
5. Mistreatment of a pet or animal.
6. Extreme anger against anyone.
7. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to function normally.
8. Frequent Depression.
9. Irrational thoughts, if people are telling you, your thoughts are not making sense, take them seriously.
10. An inability to organize and accomplish the things you normally are able to accomplish with no problem.
11. Gathering explosives or obtaining firearms with the intent to use them against yourself or someone else.
12. Making plans to assault anyone for any purpose.
13. Thinking of ingesting medications or drugs illegally or not as prescribed.
14. Thinking of sexually exploiting someone else or taking advantage of anyone else for any reason.
15. Theft or thinking of robbing someone else or unlawful entry into someone's home.
16. Kidnapping or thinking of kidnapping someone for any reason.
You may feel that you are all alone and nobody will understand your situation. I want to assure you that there are doctors, nurses and other health professionals who help people everyday in your situation and many other situations like yours. If you want help you must reach out, and get the help you need to get your life back on track. It probably won't be easy. However if you take the time to invest in yourself, the rewards will be well worth the investment for yourself, your family, and your friends.
Downward Spiral
In some situations, when people have lost their jobs, and realize what this occurrence could mean to themselves and their family, they start to rationalize that there is not much that they can do about their situation. They start to isolate themselves, because they have an altered thought process, irrational thinking, and a lack of vision, and may start taking drugs or drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. Taking drugs and consuming excessive amounts of alcohol can sometimes cause people to develop, drug induced psychosis, where they are not thinking clearly and start to engage in radical uncharacteristic behavior. You can get to a point where your basic human needs are not being met. You make poor money management decisions. Thoughts of suicidal and or homicidal ideations are common when a person goes into this downward spiral. If you recognize any of these signs and symptoms or if you recognize your friends or relatives are exhibiting behaviors that are detrimental to their well being, make every effort to assist them to get help.
Help is available through Alcoholics Anonymous in your phone book if you abuse alcohol. Narcotics Anonymous can be contacted if you abuse narcotics and can also be found in your phone book. If someone is in impending danger, call 911.
Corrective Actions
When you are on a downward spiral, there are several measures you can take, to correct your downward spiral.
A. Get Help when you need it. When you know that your life is going south and your friends and relatives are telling you the same thing, get help. Or, if you are isolative and think you are all alone and you know within yourself your life is spinning out of your control, get help from a doctor, a hospital or psychiatrist immediately.
B. Make better choices. Many times, you may know what those choices are because you made better choices when your life was on an even keel. If you don't know what those better choices are, follow the advice and guidelines of the professional people who counsel and teach you, when you seek help. These professionals have years of experience, and probably have helped hundreds of people in your situation.
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Excerpted from How To Cope With Unemployment, Find A Job In Any Economy, And Save Money by Ronald D. Henderson Copyright © 2012 by Ronald D. Henderson, RN. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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