It'll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting

by Lisa Orban

Overview

“My life could be summed up in five words: And then it got bad…”

It’ll Feel Better when it Quits Hurting is a perfect blend of grim reality combined with contagious humor that will immerse the reader into a memoir that is profoundly involving, moving and entertaining.

In this rollicking good memoir, author Lisa Orban is upfront the reader shouldn’t dive into her world expecting resolution and recovery by the end of the book, and it's a refreshing way to discover beauty and inspiration from the unconventional.

Lisa Orban consistently illustrates this possibility through her reminiscences of both circumstance and consequence. Although her life is an emotional rollercoaster of ups, downs, twists and turns, she manages to keep the reigns steady on chaos and retains balance between tragedy and hilarity throughout her tales.

While some may argue that there may be peace in finding normality, Orban demonstrates how deviating from social obedience encourages us to define the world we live in by giving it meaning, and she does just that.

Product Details

BN ID:	2940156003730
Publisher:	Indies United Publishing House, LLC
Publication date:	03/04/2019
Sold by:	Smashwords
Format:	eBook
File size:	7 MB

About the Author

I had a more formal bio to begin with on here, but I'm not a very formal person. So, let's have a little fun with this, shall we? What would you like to know? I suppose we should start with why should you care and what makes me so important that you should be compelled to spend some time with me. Well, I am an Indie author. I write memoirs, they are dark, funny, tragic and hilarious. If you don’t feel better about your own life and your own choices after reading about my misadventures in living, I’d be surprised. I am the reigning champion of “Jerry Springer, the Home Game” after all. Let's see, what else would you like to know? I mean, my life is pretty much an open book at this point. I guess we could start with I was born in Galesburg, IL. I had a mother and a father, they didn't really get along and that's a whole different story that would take an entire other book, and since it's not my story to tell, we'll let it go at that. Shortly after my birth, my mother moved to Quincy, IL where I (mostly) grew up after she married husband #2. At 16, I received a brief tour of Illinois curtsey of foster care and at 18 ran away with my friend Cindy to Phoenix where I lived for three years. I returned to Quincy after my disastrous marriage came to a grinding halt, put my life back together, went to school, earned an Associate in Art in Psychology with a minor in Art. I got a job, well, I've had a lot of them to be honest, and some of them have been pretty weird, but they paid the bills. I’m the mother of five, all of which are grown and gone except my youngest who has a few more years yet before she is let loose into society. I’ve recently become a grandmother, and I expect that will happen more often as the years go by. One of these days I’m going to write a book about my children, much to their impending regret, but that what memoir writers do, they share their lives and their stories. And let’s face it, children are ripe fodder for the funny and the tragic, often all at the same time. I live in a house where chaos is on the menu of the day, every day. For over a decade now I have taken in people in need, the homeless, the helpless and the lost. They come to me broke, and often broken, I give them a clean slate when they walk through the door, and a place to rebuild their lives. I have taken in pregnant women, vets, ex-cons, families and many others who all have one thing in common, somewhere along the way life has pushed them down to the point that they could no longer cope, and their world collapsed around them. When they leave my house, be it weeks or years later, each of them is ready to face the world again, and have gone on to scatter across the states in search of their dreams. (My not so secret dream is that maybe one of these days I will become a moderately successful writer and finally be able to put in that second bathroom I’ve always dreamed of having. In a house of sometimes 12 or more people, that’s no small thing!) Also, I’m pretty funny. So, I hope you will give me a chance to make you laugh, maybe roll your eyes at me, snicker, and on occasion, maybe shed a tear as I continue to share my journey with you. Forever hopeful...

Table of Contents

Handy Guide to Finding the Stories

Foreword by Charles Wm. (Bill) Anderson

Dear Reader

Prologue – And then it got bad...

I want to be the Madame of a House of Ill-Repute

Twiddling Thumbs & Peanut Butter Cookies

Earning Sainthood

Chapter One - I'm all the remains of my bizarre childhood

Sister for Sale

Illustration by Alexander Mann

Song to Soothe the Savage Beast

I could read the Mayo on the wall

Chapter Two - The Descent

A new daddy for Lisa

We don't clean, we move

Marcus O'Realious

How to get an Atari

Your Mother sent me to you

Illustration by Alexander Mann

What a Riot

Ante Up

Chapter Three - The Rebellion

Freedom

Illustration by Alexander Mann

You can lead a horse to water…

I do believe it's time for you to go

A Wet Rat

I didn't have any plans anyway

Illustration by Alexander Mann

Vaseline in a Police Station

Interlude One: Stuck in the System

Chapter Four: Life with Eula

A Life Resumed

An Extra Ticket

Lisa's a girl!

Meeting by Accident

Free Pizza

Illustration by Alexander Mann

A Living Canvas

Pick me! Pick me!

Another Sad Ending

Chapter Five: And now, for what's behind family #3

My Kingdom for a Story

Weekend at Laura's

Chapter Six: The Final Home

Ghost in the House

The Left Side of the Menu

Never say Never

Stuck on a Bridge

Graduation

Chapter Seven: The Great Escape

Two Kittens and a Toyota Truck

Looking for a Living

My Guardian Angel

Sliding down a Mountain

Illustration by Alexander Mann

Drugs in the Oven

The Leaning Tent

The Boys are Back

Interlude Two: Here there be Monsters

Chapter Eight: Moving On

The Married Life

Look! I have boobs now!!!

An Inconvenient Baby

Locking Myself In

A Shot in the Ass

Right Name, Wrong Number

Selling Death over the Phone

The Second is Coming

Chapter Nine: Until Death do We Part… Sorta

A Broken Vase

The Event Horizon

Ten Boxes

Illustration by Alexander Mann

An Infomercial Changed my Life

Epilogue

You are Not Alone

*Author's Note about the Title

Excerpt from Wine Comes in Six-Packs

About the Author

Editorial Reviews

"I laughed, I cried and most of all, I FELT. Sorrow, joy and amusement in equal measure...This is a book like none other I've read." - Sandy Toes Amazon Top 1000 Reviewer

"The author refers to this book as a roller coaster of emotion, and she couldn't be more accurate. This book made me laugh, cry, and feel disappointed, sad, angry, happy....a whole range of emotions!" - Teresa Kandar, author of Heartbreak and Happiness

"An excellent, powerful read. Lisa's writing is truly alive. At turns disturbing and hilarious, the book's larger message is this: It's possible to courageously face the darkness in life, and not just find the light, but create it." - Tracy Knight author of The Astonished Eye

"It’s a complex book that left me happy, sad, exasperated, amused, horrified, frustrated and completely wrung out...you’ve written a book that defies my ability to categorize and whose impact on me I cannot adequately describe. Kudos."

"She opens windows onto foster care, child abuse, domestic violence, teenagers’ angst at what exactly is an ‘adult’ and yet mixes all of this grim reality into a memoir that is profoundly involving and moving - and entertaining and full of some zingers that will have you howling." - Grady Harp HALL OF FAME TOP 100 REVIEWER VINE VOICE

"A Must-Read. Should be Mandatory for All Participants in Foster Care & Faculties in the Educational System. Laughs & Tears." - Andy Anderson HALL OF FAME TOP 10 REVIEWER

From the Publisher