Last Wish

by Erin Butler

Overview

A new adult romance from Entangled's Embrace imprint...

Some things can never be fixed...

Nothing feels right. Not since my best friend died and I screwed up the one promise he asked me to make. The past follows me everywhere, tangling me up like weeds, reminding me that my life is empty. So goddamn empty.

Then she walks into the bar, all bright beauty and sweet lips made for kissing.

Em Stewart is a complication...one I need to avoid. She's got heavy secrets of her own, ones she hides from her friends—and lies about to herself.

No matter how hard I try, I can't resist her, and our unexpected road trip sure as hell isn't helping my cause. But I'll be damned if I screw up my first chance at something real...

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781622663057
Publisher:	Entangled Publishing, LLC
Publication date:	12/28/2015
Sold by:	Macmillan
Format:	eBook
Pages:	190
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Erin Butler is lucky enough to have two jobs she truly loves. As a librarian, she gets to work with books all day long, and as an author, Erin uses her active imagination to write the kind of books she enjoys reading. Young Adult and New Adult books are her favorites, but she especially loves the ones with kissing scenes.

Erin lives in Central New York with her very understanding husband, a stepson, and doggie BFF, Maxie. She prefers to spend her time indoors reading and writing, but will venture out for chocolate and sunshine. She is the author of BLOOD HEX, a YA paranormal, and HOW WE LIVED, her first NA novel.

Read an Excerpt

Last Wish

---

By Erin Butler, Heather Howland

Entangled Publishing, LLC

Copyright © 2015 Erin Butler
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-62266-305-7

---

CHAPTER 1

Bear

Figured. The one night my brother convinced me to go out, anything and everything reminded me of Kelsey Larkin, which in turn reminded me how everything had gone to shit since she'd picked Chase over me.

We sat at the bar at Pete's, a small dive in the center of town and a major hangout with the college student crowd, which was why I usually avoided it — and Finn gravitated to it. They pretended to card, but not very carefully, especially if you were female and showing some skin. Both were prerequisites for my older brother, so, at least one of us was happy.

I sure as hell wasn't. Hadn't been since Kelsey gave me her ultimatum a few months ago — accept Chase, or we were done. But just how was I supposed to accept the guy who killed my best friend? I hadn't figured that out yet and damn well didn't feel like trying.

I hadn't seen her since.

Nights like this though, regret seeped in deep. The emptiness overwhelmed me like it used to, which scared the shit out of me. I'd tried to shut my eyes between Finn's nudges to look at this girl or that girl to drown out the commotion around me. It made it easier to think, and to hope for a better day tomorrow.

But tonight Finn was on a mission to get me to return to the living, as he put it. Kelsey wouldn't leave my head, though, no matter how loud the music or how crowded the bar. No matter how much I wished I could feel like I had before the accident. My head was a fucked up place to be. And that was before Kelsey's friend Em strolled into the bar and turned my shitty night out into a fucking unbearable one.

Now she wasn't just in my head, she was in my goddamn face.

Surrounded by a few girlfriends — luckily none of them were Kelsey — Em eyed the crowd as if we were all fish in a bowl. When her gaze landed on me, she waved. I gave her a slight wave back, right before her friends dragged her toward the dance floor and started dancing, Em in the middle.

I turned to Finn. He'd persuaded me to come out by saying he needed a wingman. It was bullshit. He had no trouble getting girls to sleep with him, but he knew exactly what to say to get me out where he could work on me about not being a hermit and wasting the best years of my life and whatever else he'd been spewing since we'd straddled the wooden stools.

"You know her?" he asked, his stare following Em across the floor, the wheels in his head already turning, contemplating whether Em could — or would — help me with my "problem." According to Finn, part of my issue was I hadn't gotten laid in a year. He didn't want me to have sex to forget about Kelsey. He wanted me to stop thinking, period. Finn had never understood, though. The emptiness was the problem.

I needed to put a stop to Finn's thoughts right then. Even if I were the type to use women, Em would be the last girl I'd choose. Well, second to the last. Kelsey would edge her out. "She's a friend of Kelsey's."

Finn stopped his incessant scratching at the label on his beer, his face tightening with an unspoken curse. "Don't let it get to you, man. You've been doing better."

"I'm fine." If he were in my head, he would know I was just a damn good pretender.

He stepped into my line of sight, blocking the view of the dance floor, and quirked a knowing eyebrow at me. "Yeah. You're fine. Why the hell are you squeezing the life out of that beer then?"

He was right. I loosened my grip on the bottle and took a swig. "Forget it, bro. Just find a lady so we can get the hell out of here."

"Easy for you to say. Pops gave you the apartment. And you're not even using it to its full advantage. Why don't we both find some ladies and get laid?"

A couple of years older than I am, Finn should've been Dad's go-to choice to have the apartment after our older brother Declan moved out to get a place with his girlfriend, but they'd never really seen eye-to-eye. He was still stuck at home because of me and never missed a chance to remind me of that fact either.

"Dude. Like I haven't let you have use of the apartment. Jesus. When are you going to let that shit go? Dad doesn't trust you. You only think about sex, girls, and beer. In that order."

"What's wrong with that? You are loyal to a fucking fault. Live a little, man." He pointed at the sea of faces. "You can't tell me you haven't noticed girls checking us out." Voice falling to a whisper, he leaned in close. "This shit isn't kosher, Ronan. He didn't mean for you to stop living your life."

My body froze and I gripped the neck of my beer hard. Mentioning Kyle Larkin was dangerous. He hadn't known him like I did. He had no idea what Kyle meant when he told me to take care of Kelsey. A quick count to ten later, like I'd taught myself to do, I leaned over and placed my forearms on the bar. "Listen, bro, if you wanted the apartment, you should have stayed working at the shop, or —"

"I work at the shop." He took a swallow of his beer. "Sometimes."

"Yeah, sometimes."

Finn's definition of "sometimes" was once a month, if that. I couldn't even remember the last time he was there and actually got under a car. He'd answer the phones and set up appointments, but blue-collar work didn't seem to be in his repertoire. To him, I was crazy for enjoying it.

My brother glanced over his shoulder, eyes already shining with alcohol haze. "Quit your shit. We're about to be twinning."

Finn had a hot girl detector. The thing was like sonar. Military grade.

Curious, I peeked in the same direction until I zeroed in on a set of twins in skintight dresses. One in white. One in black. They did nothing for me, but Finn would expect me to play nice and flirt.

Instead of smiling or even acknowledging them, I did my best to ignore the whole situation. I had my own shit to worry about and didn't feel like fucking pretending tonight. I was in no shape to let a girl into my life. The shackles were invisible but they were there. There was a constant tug-of-war going on inside, where part of me wanted to suck it up and see Kelsey again so I could keep her safe like Kyle wanted, but the other part couldn't fathom forgiving Chase. She'd asked me to do something impossible and then chosen him over me. At the moment, my own mind was still winning out.

Finn leaned casually back against the bar. All he had to do was smile and the twins came slinking over. "Okay," he asked, his smile filling the entire bottom half of his face, "who's the bad one and who's the good one?"

When they giggled, Finn nudged my arm, and I reluctantly spun toward them. The one in white looked me over and licked her lips.

Was that supposed to be sexy? Probably. It honestly had no effect on me. Before I examined that reaction, an excited yell caught my attention. "Bear!"

I turned, thankful someone had helped me out of this awkward situation until I saw who it was.

Em held out her hands and made grabby motions. It was obvious she was trashed. As with Kelsey, I hadn't seen Em in months, and never in our history had we ever done the hug-when-we-saw-each-other thing. A smile and a wave, maybe. She was just Kelsey's cute, energetic friend who sometimes talked really loud and happened to be around a lot.

Finn poked me in the shoulder and gestured toward her. Em's hands were still outstretched. Sighing, I pulled her into a hug.

When she backed away, she wobbled a little. She righted herself by placing her hand on one of the bar stools. After pausing briefly to make sure she could stand without help, she smiled up at me. "You should buy me a drink. My boyfriend went on vacation without me because he's a douchebag, like whoa, and my friends dragged me out here so I won't sit at home and wallow all by myself."

That sounded exactly like something Em would say even if she weren't shitfaced.

"No," the girl next to her said, "we brought you here to find someone better."

Em sneered, grabbed the drink out of the girl's hand and downed it. "They're bitches, Bear. Don't mind them."

I lowered my head to hide the chuckle forcing its way out. Em was always like that. She gave it to you straight. "What's their problem?"

"I don't know. I'm like the mom and all my kids are fighting."

The girl snatched the empty glass out of Em's hand and slammed it on the bar. "Um, hello." She grabbed Em by the shoulders and twirled her in a circle. "He could have taken this on vacation," she said, motioning to Em's body.

Since it had been pointed out to me, I couldn't help but look. Damn. Em had grown up.

"You deserve better, and deep down you know it," her friend said.

Em's girlfriends cheered while she pouted.

I motioned toward the bartender. "One round for the girls, on me."

They squealed, then shouted their orders all at once. When the drinks came up, Em passed me a shot glass and held her own in the air. "To high school, when things were easy." She clinked her glass with mine then threw it back.

Toasting to high school seemed appropriate. In high school, Kyle was still alive and I didn't feel like I let him down every damn second of every day. Back then, for the first time, I'd been a part of a group of people that were something special. We were friends. We were everything to each other. Now, I was left out again.

I tossed my shot back without knowing what it was. A nasty licorice taste coated my tongue. Ugh. Sambuca. It did not go well with the beer I'd been nursing.

One of Em's friends slid another shot across the bar toward me, and I swallowed that, too. I figured what the hell. If I had to see Em, I might as well try and get too drunk to remember it.

The twins had each slid an arm around Finn's waist. I hid a smile. Only my brother could pull off crazy shit like that.

Finn rested his hand on my shoulder. "You need any help with these ladies?"

"Nope." I plastered a smile on my face. The sooner he left, the faster I could sneak out the back, go home, and wallow all by myself, like Em had said she wanted to do. I'd planned on a night of Netflix anyway. May as well make that happen. "I got this."

"Great." Finn winked, his eyes glassy, then he took one of Em's friends and moved her right next to me. "Show my brother a good time. He's forgotten how to have one."

To me, he leaned down and whispered, "I guess I'll be twinning by myself."

His voice held all the tasteless glee I'd expect of a cast member of The Jersey Shore. I shook my head as he sauntered off, his arms around both ladies.

"To the dance floor," yelled the girl Finn had basically handed to me. She grabbed me and yanked me along behind her as she marched to the makeshift dance floor.

We danced to song after song, and the girls bought me drinks until my head was fuzzy. The alcohol transported me into an altered state where everything was heightened yet frayed around the edges. Kyle was still dead, but it didn't hurt at the moment. I still had the promise I made him, but it was more like a "Well, I'll see what I can do." The music thumped in my ears, but it was just noise. The lights were bright but blurred. My fingers were numb when I held Em to me and danced, but her tight body was real. And I had friends. They were all around me.

I was actually having a good time. Mostly because Em was a hell of a lot of fun, and even though looking at her reminded me of Kelsey, it felt natural. Comfortable. I'd been around Em before, I reasoned, so I could certainly do it again.

"You better slow down," she said, nodding at my fifth shot.

"You slow down." I threw the now empty shot glass onto the nearest table. It slid and crashed against others.

She leaned into me, her hand on my chest, and laughed. "I mean it. You're getting sloppy. How am I supposed to enjoy your muscles if you can't stand up straight?"

I tightened my arms around her. "You're enjoying my muscles?"

"I think all my friends are about to faint with how much they're enjoying your muscles." She slapped my shoulder after seeing my reaction. "Don't smile like that. Perv."

"Who? Me?" I teased, then slipped my hand into hers. "You want anything to drink?"

She shook her head. "Nah. I stopped a while ago."

"Why? I thought you were trying to forget. It's nice not to think for a while, isn't it?" I picked her up by the waist and pretended to toss her in the air.

She squealed and hacked at my arms. "I actually know my limit. Apparently you don't."

I let her down and twisted her around to the beat of the music. She tripped over her own feet. Yep, she was done.

She looked back and laughed so hard she bent at the hips. "Ronan! Holy shit. I almost fell over. Told you I was at my limit."

Huh. She called me Ronan. "You know my first name?"

"Duh." She laughed again. "We went to school together. I know everyone called you Bear in high school, but I always liked Ronan better. It fits you."

Em turned and set a path toward the bar. She hopped on a stool and patted the one next to her. After a while, she smiled and pointed to the girl Finn had pushed at me. "Looks like my friends are having fun."

From this angle, it looked like her friend and some random guy were giving nearby dancers a little mouth-to-mouth demo. "You could say that."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm glad someone's having a good time."

She seemed like she wanted to be here as much as I did, which was a tick past the "Nope, I'm good" notch.

"Tell me about it. Finn dragged me here. He thinks I need to get laid or something."

Em giggled into the back of her hand. Okay. Maybe that was a little TMI. She nodded, though. "My friends, too. Want me to get laid, I mean."

"But you have a boyfriend. What's the story there?"

"Not really sure. He promised he'd take me on his family vacation, but I'm almost positive his uptight parents put a stop to that idea. Tina and everybody think it's the perfect opportunity to find me someone else. Or something like that. Who knows what they're thinking, actually. I try not to because it gives me a headache."

"I take it they don't like him."

She shook her head and it was a while before her gaze focused on me again. Her eyes were shiny. I couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol or something else. Swallowing, she looked down at her shoes. "Nope. And I don't really know why, either. It's not like he ever did anything to them. He feels bad about not being able to take me. I mean, I think he does. He knows I was looking forward to it."

Her eyes started to tear up so I put my hand on her arm. "I'm sorry, Em."

"Yeah, well, it's hard when the children are all fighting." She smiled but it looked fake.

Jesus. We were sad. I was moping around over Kelsey. Em was lamenting her boyfriend's absence. This wasn't high school, and everything had changed. The friends I'd thought I could count on for life were either dead — or sucked. It was less than a year since Kyle died, less than a year since I'd decided I would have nothing to do with Chase ever again, but only a few months since Kelsey made a bad situation even worse by telling me I had to forgive Chase if I ever wanted to hang out with her again.

"You know, Em. If you want to be with your boyfriend, why don't you just go be with him? I mean, fuck what your friends think. If you love him, you love him. It seems to me I'd do pretty much anything for someone I loved, even if everyone else thought it was a bad idea."

Her eyes searched my face. "That's some solid advice, considering how drunk you are. I guess you really can't help who you fall in love with, right?"

"Exactly."

She nodded to herself once. "I think I'm going to go to the bathroom."

I watched her walk away, sliding past couples, bodies brushing up against hers, and I sighed. She looked about as confused as I felt.

Em

Holy. Crap. Bawling in a bar? In front of Ronan freaking Pearse for God's sake. What the hell was wrong with me? That would've been a new low.

I swung the bathroom door open and waited in line. One girl stood crying her eyes out near the hand dryer. Another's friends tried to convince her to leave because she'd fallen off a stool while trying to dance on the bar, and everyone else just looked as if they had to go to the bathroom. Like. Now.

The old "escape to the bathroom" routine wasn't one of my finer moments, but I hadn't seen or talked to Ronan in four months. Dumping all my problems on him didn't sound like a very good plan. He had way more baggage than I did anyway. Kyle, Chase, freaking Kelsey. God, he must have thought I was so pathetic.

I fired up my phone after rolling my eyes at the long-ass line. Two texts from Nate waited for me. My heart jumped. I looked first at the time stamp. He hated when I didn't respond right away. Dammit. He'd texted at six o'clock. It had to be going on eleven now. He was pissed. I knew it before reading the texts.

The first one read: I miss you. The second had a more pissy tone. All right, it was far past a little pissy. That one read: What the hell? Where are you? This is the only way we can talk to each other and you're going to ignore me? You better not have gone out.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I wished I could call him, but he'd be able to tell I wasn't home. The music in this damn bar thumped from even three blocks away. I sent him a quick text instead: Sorry. Phone was on the charger. I miss you, too!

(Continues...)

---

Excerpted from Last Wish by Erin Butler, Heather Howland. Copyright © 2015 Erin Butler. Excerpted by permission of Entangled Publishing, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

---