Lead with Your Heart . . . Lessons from a Life with Horses

by Allan J. Hamilton MD

Overview

2016 Foreword INDIES Gold Award Winner
2016 Gold Nautilus Book Award Winner
2017 Silver Independent Publisher Book Award Winner
2017 Silver IBPA Benjamin Franklin Award Winner

Award-winning author and celebrated neurosurgeon Allan J. Hamilton combines his understanding of the human brain with nearly 30 years’ experience training horses to offer wisdom on such universal themes as leadership, motivation, ambition, and humility. The results are showcased in more than 100 thoughtful essays that treat working with horses as a metaphor for personal, professional, and spiritual growth. Whether you’re searching for greater spiritual depth or simply want to better understand your four-legged partner, this wise and important collection has something for you.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781612127354
Publisher:	Storey Publishing, LLC
Publication date:	09/06/2016
Sold by:	Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format:	eBook
Pages:	232
File size:	8 MB

About the Author

Allan J. Hamilton, MD, is a Harvard-trained brain surgeon, a renowned horse trainer, a developer of equine-assisted learning programs, and the author of Lead with Your Heart and Zen Mind, Zen Horse (Gold Nautilus Award winner). He is a professor of neurosurgery at the University of Arizona and a medical script consultant for the hit television series Grey’s Anatomy. He raises Lipizzan horses on a small ranch on the outskirts of Tucson, Arizona.
 

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

TEACHING and LEARNING

Horses and other herd animals teach us that we share energy between our own individual consciousness and the larger context of the cosmos. That ebb and flow is an energetic conversation teaching us something about ourselves. We cannot be good teachers if we are not good learners. If we haven't learned, we have nothing to teach.

FIND THE RIGHT PLACE TO START.

Each person is a unique individual in time and space. Each of us has our own history, our own weaknesses and strengths — some things at which we can succeed easily and others at which we fail miserably.

Even over the course of the day, you wax and wane. You are a different person now than you were when you woke up this morning, even though you have the same driver's license. You can tackle some things with more energy in the morning than in the evening, and vice versa. Sir William Osler, one of greatest teachers in the history of medicine, divided his students into "roosters" and "owls" to account for some learners who came roaring out of the starting blocks first thing in the morning and others who worked better burning the midnight oil.

Horses, too, possess well-developed psyches. Every time we work with a horse — as handler, owner, or trainer — we must ask ourselves: Have I earnestly looked for the right place to start this particular horse for this particular task at this particular moment?

Imagine that you are in kindergarten. I am your teacher and it's my job to teach you to read. So I plop down a copy of Tolstoy's War and Peace in your lap and say, "Start." There's no way you will succeed, no matter how many times I ask. But then I may say, "Today is simply and utterly devoted to just one thing: the capital letter A." Now I have given you a task at which we are guaranteed to succeed as a team.

Like humans, each horse has a unique learning style and speed. He might be better at sidepassing and jumping when he is full of piss and vinegar in the morning, and better at ground-tying when he's tired in the afternoon. Or, you might find it tough to teach ground-tying in the evening when your horse wants to get back to his stall for the dinner bell; in that case, your best bet might be a switch to the morning for ground-tying lessons.

I have had students accuse of me of cheating because I teach my horse ground-tying when he's so pooped he barely wants to move. It looks like cheating because he succeeds so easily, but rearrange the letters in "cheat" and you have "teach" — and teaching means finding the right time and place to make it as easy as possible for your horse to succeed.

Also keep in mind that just because a task was easy yesterday does not mean it will be easy every day and every time. Think of each encounter with your horse as a unique point in time and space where you can maximize the potential for partnership. Every horse is trying to show you "Yes, this is how we can succeed" or "No, this is where we will fail." It's your job, as his partner, to look for those places where you and he cannot fail.

THE HORSE IS A MIRROR.

Master, warrior, sensei, horseman: these words are synonyms that connote single-minded awareness, focus, discipline, and self-mastery. The search for mastery requires us to become brutally honest with ourselves without feeling defensive. It calls us to cut deep into our own psyche. It carries us to a threshold where we will confront uncomfortable vulnerabilities and inconvenient truths. And on that threshold, we must truly wrestle with ourselves.

Horsemanship demands truth. Nothing less. We can't hide much from a horse. He sees through us with disarming candor and directness. No matter what we reveal about ourselves — carelessness, impatience, self-centeredness — a horse will forgive it, let it go, and move on.

Why is receiving this honest assessment of ourselves so important? First, because it is so rare. Second, because lies present such powerful obstacles along our path to self-transformation. The most holy tenet of partnership is trust. The more we want to devote ourselves to strengthening our partnership with our horse, the more he will insist that we get to work on ourselves, to dismantle all the defensive mechanisms we have assembled, and to earnestly confront our own issues. In that regard, the horse serves us as a powerful mirror, allowing us to reflect deeply on our own problems and see ourselves as we truly are. He accepts us — warts and all. He asks: When are you ready to do the same?

The notion central to all horsemanship is that it is never about the horse. It is always about us, about how we either create issues or react to them. When the problems start to seem complex or stubborn, we need to stop. It means we are close to a new revelation. That is where the turmoil is coming from. There must be a moment of torque before there is traction, resistance before the truth emerges. We must relax, reconsider, and rejoice: another eye-opener about ourselves is right around the corner. That is how self-revelation works: turmoil begets insight.

The horse willingly offers himself as a companion on the path to awareness. His mirror lights the way.

Gender Generalities

The term "horsemanship" is fraught with problems. First, it is ironic that it uses the male gender because more women actually pursue and practice horsemanship than men. Second, no gender-neutral term exists to describe the practice or practitioner of horsemanship. Thus, while we have actors and actresses in the acting profession, there are no such gender distinctions in the realm of horsemanship.

To be both clear and economical in this book, we will generally call the human "she" and the horse "he," unless the context clearly calls for something else.

TEACHING IS ONE PHASE; TRAINING IS THREE.

The danger of learning through repetition is that we'll take something new and exciting and allow it to diminish into dull, rote practice. This will happen unless you cultivate your beginner's mind for the task. Putting on a new outfit, for example, may be exciting the first time — jewelry, belt, shoes, and the rest of the accessories. Eventually, though, it will become a boring, tedious routine each morning.

If you pursue impeccable intention — a spiritual term meaning "pure motives" — in each step of the process, however, you will see that every task is worthy of mindful attention. This revelation manifests itself in the three phases of training: teaching,consolidation, and practice.

The teaching or learning phase is the most challenging for the human, who must lead the horse to the correct answer. This phase requires finding his individual, personal starting place. From there, the lessons proceed in deliberate and custom-tailored steps, applying the least amount of energy to provide the horse with motivation. This is also the phase that calls for the most impeccable release, where the right answers must be easy for the horse to find and the wrong ones difficult. The teaching or learning phase separates the master horsemen from the rest. It calls for the greatest clarity of heart, mind, and intention in the human, and the highest level of patience and empathy for the horse.

The consolidation phase depends largely upon repetition and a gradual smoothing out of all the steps. This calls for a keen eye to see how one step of the task eventually blends into the next as we draw out the release further and further from the initiation point. This phase also puts a premium on release, but it is less critical than in the teaching phase, where releases, even at the slightest try, are what guide the horse to success. In the consolidation phase, a smooth release starts to make the horse's movements and responses more fluid and relaxed.

The last phase is the practice or maintenance phase. Now the skill, task, or maneuver is very familiar and recognizable to the horse and part of his armamentarium of behaviors. This last phase places a premium on elegance in execution. At the same time, the horse must have some accountability, so the handler must remain vigilant for breakdowns in technique or less-than-genuine effort.

In life, we tend to go through the same phases. At first, a new experience or relationship is a novel adventure: the learning phase. Then we begin to organize things into routines and we enter the consolidation phase. Finally, the routines become plodding habits or drills: the practice phase.

Even if it is the one-hundredth time you put on that outfit, immerse yourself in being mindful of every step in the sequence. Even the simplest task is worth performing with elegance and economy.

BRING A NEW QUESTION EVERY DAY.

Horses have uncanny abilities, and one is the knack of sensing when a problem or question is weighing on our minds. Don't ask me how they do it. I suspect we give away many details about our emotional state through the energy we transmit. Horses, however, want to help.

Often, if I simply keep a query foremost in my mind, a horse will offer me a surprisingly astute, metaphorical response to it. I am in the habit now of trying to formulate it aloud as a question: "What is on my mind?" Then I answer it aloud.

One evening, for example, I came home from a board meeting at the hospital where we had discussed a building I was most eager to see built. The project had derailed, however, and was put on hold. Not the end of the world, but it left me unsettled and sad.

The meeting was foremost in my mind as I approached my horses, and I wondered why it troubled me so, shifting my whole energetic center. I entered the round pen repeating aloud the question over and over, "Why am I so blue? That's the question I need help figuring out." Remember, horses speak to us energetically; we must grasp their answers through symbolism and metaphor. On this evening, I started working a horse in circles in the round pen, just to warm him up. I loped him once or twice around on the rail, asked him for an inside turn, then had him lope off in the other direction. And repeat. At each turn, the horse was sloppy and sour, cutting a corner of the round pen before each departure, leaving me feeling stupid and frustrated.

In the round pen, each turn is a matter of timing: drawing the horse off the rail, then putting energy on the side of his face to push the forehand off in the other direction, and, finally, directing pressure on his hindquarters to help depart in the opposite direction. I wondered why his turns were so sloppy, why they were falling apart. I could see that I wasn't in the right position to put pressure on his eye to turn his forehand quickly enough. I simply was not prepared to be where I needed to be.

Then it dawned on me: the turns were a metaphor for the meeting. I was upset with myself because I wasn't ready to defend my plans for the building. And now I wasn't where I needed to be, so the horse's turns fell apart like the anticipated building schedule.

Allow your horse to guide you to the answer. The signs can be subtle: a head shake, going to sleep on you in the middle of a session, not turning with you. You must tell yourself: "The horse is offering an answer; I need only to decipher it."

We apply this technique in life, too. Often we walk around with a question burdening us. We must put the question out into the universe as a specific query. Now the universe sends back answers — but only to those who are prepared to hear its language.

REWARD ABUNDANTLY.

Étienne Beudant, a French 19th-century horseman and cavalry officer, said of horse training: "Ask often, settle for less, and reward generously." These words hang on a banner above my barn door as a daily reminder. With horses (and, alas, frequently with people), we are not vigilant about welcoming opportunities to praise and reward.

We become so fixated on tasks and outcomes that we forget the real purpose of teaching our horse is to help him succeed in life, at every step. So my own axiom has become: Pause.Pet.Breathe.

Pause is to remind me, first, to slow down. To deliberately stop myself, to be mindful enough to recognize that my horse has done something to please me.

Pet is to encourage me to show affection, to take a moment to actually stroke my horse and physically reward him.

Breathe is to prompt me to mindfully relax and take a deep, audible sigh to help me lower my energy state.

Pause, pet, breathe is a motto to ensure I express gratitude to those who try to please me, or master a skill, or overcome a hurdle. It is a mantra that reminds me to praise with every cleansing breath I take.

So often I see even the most accomplished riders in the world reach down and slap their horse's neck. I understand that horses are big creatures, but why slap to show affection? To my way of thinking, our horse's hide is very sensitive. So my rule of thumb is: Don't slap a horse any harder than you would your own face!

The real purpose of teaching is to help our student succeed in life.

THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT IS A CHANCE FOR SUCCESS.

When my horse Sonny was young, he slipped in a fast-moving current and almost drowned, and ever after, water spooked him. Any water! There were times when I swear even a thimbleful would send him into a serious spook — a pedal-to-the-metal flight reaction. So I started working with Sonny using manmade puddles. I dug up a corner of my arena and hollowed out a big depression, covered it with a tarp, and flooded it with a hose. The result was a mega-puddle.

To get Sonny through such a trial required great patience. With each step — literally — I had to apply escalating energy to prompt him. So I got in the habit of always expecting that he'd have to struggle; in fact, in retrospect, I probably set him up by always anticipating that he would need my "goosing" to help him through the puddle.

One day, though, my boot got caught in a fold of the tarp as I started to enter the water. My timing was thrown off and I wasn't in position to drive Sonny forward. And guess what? He just walked into that pond. Turned out I subconsciously expected him to fail. I had grown accustomed to a modicum of energy with each step. What I really needed to do was back off and see what he was motivated to do on his own. My bias about Sonny had blinded me to the possibility that he could ever go into a puddle of his own accord. If it weren't for that twisting boot, I would never have discovered how much courage Sonny could really display.

This is a life lesson. If we expect frustration, disappointment, or even sadness, then those expectations will shape the outcome. We want to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and assume things will go perfectly.

Believe that events will unfold just the way we plan. Have faith that the genuine concern, love, and kindness we exhibit to others will be acknowledged and returned. Expect life to pleasantly surprise you — because when we anticipate that our student will fail, we then apply too much energy.

That is unfair, even destructive, because the horse becomes accustomed to a "heavy hand." It makes him dull and unresponsive, and susceptible to anxiety. When we start each trial with the softest of energies, we offer a full spectrum of slowly escalating response. With each attempt, we give our horses and ourselves a chance to reach perfection. We never want our biases or prejudices to stand in the way of gaining that experience. To be fair and just, always offer your horse every opportunity to shine.

LET MISTAKES HAPPEN.

Trial and error are vital components of the learning process. None of us is perfect and we all make mistakes in judgment, management, and technique. Without these errors, we would never learn. There is nothing so frustrating as someone correcting us before we have made a mistake.

Horses are no different. They must also be allowed to make their own mistakes. We cannot crack our dressage whip or smack our lariat against our leg just because we think our horse might slow down by the gate as he lopes past it. We cannot correct for what is going to happen, only for what already has. We must admonish our horse only when he actually does slow down by the gate.

Whether teaching horses or children, we must shape corrections around actual mistakes, not expected ones. If we put out the intention that our pupil will make a mistake, he usually will. In contrast, if we anticipate achievement, we'll get it.

If we are sending a horse over a jump, for example, we must picture him clearing it. If we worry about when he launches or how high he holds his frame, then we cloud our vision with mistakes instead of a clear image of success.

(Continues…)

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Excerpted from "Lead with Your Heart"
by .
Copyright © 2016 Allan Hamilton.
Excerpted by permission of Storey Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Introduction: Walking between Worlds

Teaching and Learning
  Find the right place to start
  The horse is a mirror
  Teaching is one phase; training is three
  Bring a new question every day
  Reward abundantly
  The benefit of the doubt is a chance for success
  Let mistakes happen
  Correct, then caress
  Back up for respect
  The feather is mightier than the whip
  Patience is compassion
  Cultivate a beginner's mind
  Are we having fun yet?
  Finish better than you started
  Look for the breakthrough and seize it
  Provide a way out
  Make the right way the easy way
  Know when to let go
  It all begins at the gate
  Escalate out of the comfort zone
  Agendas hurt the relationship
  Nagging is the handmaiden of failure
  Ask, request, demand, and promise
  The better the trainer, the less the training
  Training trumps bloodlines
  Find the way to celebrate
  Horse whispering means being clearly heard
  Doctrines don't fail; methods do
  Patience creates time; time creates success
  Stutter steps build memory
  Hesitation precedes understanding
  A tired horse will eagerly stand still
  Balance fear and curiosity
  A windy day can make any horse stupid
  Learn the ABCs of teaching
  Wait for the lightbulb moment
  Back up to perfection
  Black and white are fine; shades of gray confuse
  The faster you go, the worse it gets

Mindfulness: Attention and Inattention
  Never take a day for granted
  Every moment has meaning
  Intention focuses energy to effect change
  Behold the eye
  Elegance is economy
  Make it a habit
  Know how to be silent
  Timing must be impeccable
  Cultivate an eye for detail
  The mind shapes intention, but the body delivers it
  Clear your mind
  Drop the reins
  The horse's reward is peace
  Horses don't lie; people do
  Thinking knows; seeing believes
  A goal is a trap
  For horses, more than four is a bore
  Lists grow as time shrinks
  Stop wondering if it's quitting time
  Cinch four times; mount once
  Life is a series of plans punctuated by the unexpected and the unavoidable
  Equipment is character

Stalking Happiness
  Invite the horse into a herd of two
  Practice affection
  Put love in your hands
  Hunt happiness
  Seek the heart of gold
  Just breathe
  Loosen up
  Tranquility comes with each turn
  Head position tells a tale

Leading and Following
  Real power is born from stillness
  Use your mind, not the lead rope
  Get far more with far less
  The answer lies at liberty
  Master pressure, not punishment
  Boundaries define the geography of respect
  Find the curve of compromise
  Lead by invitation
  Partnership is purpose
  Greater power comes from less pressure
  The lower the head, the better the frame of mind
  The lead rope reveals the relationship
  Footwork: dominance first, then respect
  Horses act out forever, until they quit
  Circle for safety
  Never take the trail for granted
  Leadership is determined by the four Cs
  Give credit
  SPS: self-praise stinks
  Lead with your heart
  A physical confrontation is a defeat
  Before danger strikes, consider the possibilities
  Avoid idleness; employ stillness
  To be heard, whisper
  Overcome with leverage, not resistance
  The more a horse spooks, the less afraid he becomes
  Leaders assume the risk for all
  Loyalty is never convenient
  Horsemanship transforms

Energy and Emotion
  Combining energy and emotion is a choice
  To know when to release is to know why
  Energy is duality
  The ground is closest to the truth
  Energy is sticky
  Grow beyond instinct
  Rhythmic movement is predictable energy

Breaking Through
  There is no best way
  To conquer problems, imagine solutions
  Don't fix problems; change them
  Tackle small problems before they become big ones
  Try the 180-degree solution
  Love is never the problem

Epilogue: There is still time for the predator to turn to the herd
Acknowledgments
 

Editorial Reviews

Allan Hamilton is a real brain surgeon with true horse sense. If you want to be a better leader, teacher, parent — a more conscious human being, rather than a human doing — this is a book to keep close.”
— Stephen Kiesling, editor-in-chief, Spirituality Health

“Dr. Hamilton blends horse sense with common sense and adds lessons on trust, respect, and compassion, which we can take from the round pen, to the saddle, to the office, and to our living rooms.”
— Molly Sweeney, vice president of the Horses Humans Research Foundation

“Lead with Your Heart takes you deep into learning the art of horsemanship and helps you enter the sensory-based world of the horse.”
— Temple Grandin, author of Humane Livestock Handling and Animals in Translation

“What a gem of a book! Allan Hamilton offers jewels to enrich our relationships with horse, family, colleagues, and self. This is the sort of book to keep close to refer to as life’s inevitable chaotic waves threaten.”
— Barbara K. Rector, CEIP-ED, co-founder of Equine Facilitated Mental Health Association

"Recent research tells us that horses are much smarter than we once believed. Allan J. Hamilton provides an excellent foundation for how to achieve a deeper and more rewarding partnership with them.”
— Wendy Williams, author of The Horse: The Epic History of Our Noble Companion

“Dr. Allan Hamilton’s unfailing respect for the dignity and wisdom of horses provides an excellent blueprint for all who love our equine companions.”
— Elizabeth Letts, New York Times best-selling author of The Eighty-Dollar Champion and The Perfect Horse

"Hamilton transfers life lessons learned from his history with horses to be applicable to anyone wishing to live a more mindful life.  Both the writing and paintings invite quiet reflection on the ways we live, act, and interact with each other, horses, and the world."
— Carmela Caruso, Bookseller at Novels Novelties Bookstore

 

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