Read an Excerpt
Learn to Accept Yourself and Understand Others
Handbook for Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Wellness
By Esther White
iUniverse, Inc.
Copyright © 2012 Esther White
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4697-5003-3
Chapter One
Learn To Accept Yourself & Understand Others©
This book was written because we are becoming a society of drug users, alcoholics, physical and mental abusers, sports and media addicts and in a variety of other ways causing problems for society and ourselves. The author's intension is to help people accept and appreciate who they are and to be more tolerant of others as well. This is an exciting study of the part of our inherited personality known as the Four Basic Temperament Theory.
There is a need for such an education. We have marriages and families falling apart. Parents and children often do not get along with each other. Misunderstandings run rampant at all levels of society. Knowledge of this subject can be a very useful tool in understanding who we are and why we differ from each other.
If three generations of your aunts and uncles had curly hair and skied the Matterhorn, chances are that you're a curly-haired athlete, too. And, yes, personality gets passed on as well. The Temperament Theory has been acclaimed by many as the best explanation of human behavior available.
Though an understanding of the temperaments is not a cure-all for every problem, it can be a tremendous help to many by raising self-esteem and improving relationships. When fully understood the Temperament Theory is a useful tool to understand, appreciate and celebrate our differences.
The Temperament Theory will be compared to and combined with other proven studies throughout the following pages. The book is a compilation of eight seminars.
This theory was first named and defined by the Greek physician, Hippocrates back in 460-370 B.C. As a result of his observations he distinguished four temperaments: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic, and Phlegmatic. He proposed that a person's temperament depended on the 'humors' or bodily fluids: blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm. Though his theory of humors was debunked, his observations regarding the Four Basic temperaments proved to be very accurate indeed. It is the basis for many aptitude testings performed in institutes of learning to determine a person's vocational aptitudes.
1.) The Four Basic Temperament Theory, http://psy.rin.ru/eng/article/147- 101.html
In 1798, German philosopher Immanuel Kant revived interest in the theory. Others since then have given brief descriptions, but Dr. Hales, in 1962 published a comprehensive and significant study. Dr. Tim LaHaye, Florence Litteaur and others have also written many books about the temperament theory. This theory is currently being used widely in the fields of education and business.
What you have in your hands is a compilation of eight seminars combined make the information available in one place for people to read at their own leisure. The Temperament Square is used throughout the various chapters
Overview of the Temperament Theory (The Inherited Part of the Personality)
Temperament differs from personality but is part of the total personality. The rest of the personality comes from culture, back- ground, and environment. Both temperament and the rest of the personality influence the character.
The total personality is made up of more than just our temperament. It is made up of our inherited temperament plus other factors such as:
Childhood Training Age Sex Environment Education Physical condition Spiritual condition Emotional condition
There is no one best temperament. Each Temperament has strengths and weaknesses.
No one has just one temperament. We are all blends of the four basic temperaments.
* It is unusual to test out high in just one area. If you do, you are referred to as being, "Super."
* Usually people score highest in two areas, sometimes three.
* The best way to explain the temperaments is to describe the four basic ones.
* You will have more of the characteristics in the areas that you scored highest in.
* If you scored about the same in all four areas, you are what would be considered, "well rounded". It will be more difficult for you to see yourself in any particular section of the temperament square.
* There can be modifications in our temperament due to various factors, but our basic temperament remains the same.
The Four Basic Temperaments Square
To determine your temperament: Before reading any further, underline the words in each category you feel are descriptive of you under the STRENGTHS and WEAKNESSES. Then have someone who knows you very well circle your characteristics in a different color. You may also order a "Temperament Inventory" listed on the last page for a professional evaluation.
Sanguine Strengths
The Extrovert—The Talker—The Optimist Oh, how the world needs sanguines!
These are the talkative, wide-eyed, enthusiastic people. Their most noticeable characteristic is their outgoing nature.
They love to be with people. They are the life of any party. You can usually spot a sanguine at a party. They enter with flair and are soon talking with a group gathered around them. They are known as coming into the room mouth first. They are warm, responsive people that make friends easily.
One of their shining qualities is that they live in the present. They don't worry about the past or have many concerns for the future. They just live each day for that day and enjoy it to the fullest. The bumps in life don't get them down because they dwell in the present instead of worrying about bad past experiences.
Many enjoy having them around because they are compassionate. They laugh when people are laughing and cry when they are crying.
One time when visiting my father-in-law in the hospital after he had surgery to remove cancer, I saw a sanguine nurse in action. She walked briskly into the room with a broad smile. She checked the equipment hooked up to him, talked to him, and as she left she turned around and flashed him a big smile. Each time she left his room my father-in-law looked more cheerful because she had been there. My personal evaluation was that she was a sanguine. The clincher came when she had to come back looking for the stethoscope she had left behind. Sanguines are usually forgetful.
They are very friendly, touching people. It is very difficult for them to talk to others without touching them.
They are more carefree than the other temperaments. Their optimism has to do with this but their ability to forget is helpful. While others fret and hold grudges, sanguines tend to forgive and forget.
Sanguine Weaknesses
By now you are probably wondering why it wouldn't be good for everyone to be a sanguine. Let's take a few minutes to look into a few of the weaknesses of this temperament.
It is important to know that what is a strength can become a weakness when it is carried to extreme such as a sanguine's compulsive talking. They can be very entertaining, but when carried to extreme they monopolize a conversation. They also waste much of their time talking on the telephone.
They can take a simple story and turn it into a side-splitting event. To make it more interesting they may have to exaggerate, to the point of lying. They also talk loudly to make sure they are heard.
They may appear to be egotistical. They are happy people that can accept themselves and others. Some of the other temperaments have low self esteem and therefore can't understand the self acceptance of a sanguine.
If you tested high in sanguine, you are probably quite forgetful. They waste a lot of time just trying to remember where they put something. Because they live in the moment, they often forget obligations. Though this is a very annoying characteristic, it can be a real plus because, while others dwell over wrongs done to them, a sanguine may have no recollection of the problem at all.
One of their strengths is that they make friends easily. It should also be noted that though they make friends easily; they forget them just as easily. One can meet a sanguine and feel as though they have a dear friend for life whereas the sanguine might not even remember the person's name the next time they meet. This might be looked on as being fickle when actually it isn't that at all. They are friendly to everyone they meet. But may forget who they are quickly.
Because of their love for the new and exciting they are sometimes unfocused, going from one interest to another.
Choleric Strengths
The Extrovert—The Doer—The Optimist Oh, how the world needs cholerics!
If you want to get something done, find a choleric. They are the accomplishers of the world. They are born leaders with organizational abilities that are unsurpassed. They can pull a project together with an inborn ability. Their natural boldness helps them put their ideas into reality.
There is almost nothing a choleric cannot do well. They do not get discouraged and quit. A little opposition spurs them on. To them, the difficult will be done today; the impossible may take until tomorrow.
It is very easy for them to make quick decisions. They can look at a situation and come up with a solution almost immediately.
Cholerics are very goal-oriented. Once they get a goal in view it is almost impossible to deter them until the goal is accomplished. They are also good at multi-tasking.
Sanguines would rather play than work whereas cholerics prefer to work than play. It would be a rare sight to see a choleric relaxing. If they are, you will find a doctor advised it for their health. Even if they are relaxing in the sun, you would probably find they are reading a book or writing letters. Their relaxation is accomplishing something useful.
The story is told of Thomas Edison's wife trying to get him to take time for himself on his birthday. She got him to agree to take the day and to do whatever he most wanted to do. When she awoke on his birthday she was disgusted to find him in his laboratory working on an invention. When she reminded him he was supposed to take the day for himself, he informed her that he would rather work than do anything else.
They have a very strong will that makes them accomplishers. They are also utilitarian. For example, if they take on a sewing project it will be something useful or needed like clothes or curtains, whereas if other temperaments sew, they might choose a craft project.
Choleric Weaknesses
As we have seen, the choleric temperament dominant strengths are bold. A person's weaknesses correspond with their strengths, so the choleric's weaknesses will be strong, bold weaknesses.
Their leadership carried to the extreme makes a choleric capable of being bossy. They are known by those around them as wanting things done right (their way) and NOW! Cholerics do not consider themselves bossy. They are just trying to get things done. Certainly, they reason, everyone would like to know how to improve the way they are doing a task.
Their ability to organize gives them the reputation of being domineering. They delegate unimportant tasks and end up doing the majority of the work themselves to make sure it will be done the way they want it done.
One of their favorite sayings is, "If you want something done right, do it yourself." Because they are highly capable they tend to become quite self-sufficient.
To them, time is wasted unless something is being accomplished. They are what others would consider a slave driver. Cholerics have very strong opinions. We are all entitled to our opinion but the cholerics usually don't keep their opinion to themselves whether anyone else wants to hear it or not.
It is difficult for a person of this temperament to see others sitting idle. They are constantly giving people something to do when they see what they consider to be wasting time.
Sanguines are known for being loud. Cholerics are also loud. Their loud is different from sanguines. They speak with an air of command in their voice. When they speak, a hush comes over the room.
Because they are unemotional they are not in tune with the emotional needs of others. Getting something accomplished is more important to them than being concerned about the feelings of others. They are known as having a "razor blade" for a tongue. Because they are not aware of how their words sound to others, come across as inconsiderate.
Melancholy Strengths
The introvert—The thinker—The gifted Oh, how the world needs melancholies!
People scoring high in this introverted temperament are sensitive, quiet, perfectionists. They enjoy the fine arts and are the most prone to be a genius.
They have an amazing ability to size things up, especially people. They can spot a phony very shortly after meeting them. This strength is due to their analytical ability.
When they make a decision it is not a rash, spur of the moment one. It is well thought out before it is made.
They like everything alphabetized, lined up, and in its place. For them there is a place for everything and everything is to be in its place.
A friend of mine likes to hang her clothes out on a clothesline to dry. After taking a temperament test and learning she was a melancholy she told me that she didn't think some of it applied to her. She laughed as she told me about the next time she washed clothes. She hung each item up as she came to it in the basket. After an hour she couldn't stand it any longer. She had to go out, take all the clothes off the lines, sort them by socks, towels, and so on, then hung each article in order before she could rest.
They are loyal friends. They don't make friends easily but once they do, they are a true friend for life. Of all the temperaments they are the most artistically gifted. Most of the great artists, musicians and craftsmen are of this temperament. The world has been given a lot of pleasure because of this part of their personality. Other temperaments can learn to paint, write or play a musical instrument but you can usually tell when it is the work of a melancholy because there is more feeling of depth and nicety to whatever they do.
Melancholies are often misjudged as being unfriendly. They simply find it difficult to express their thoughts even though they have strong feelings. A melancholy person is conservative and thrifty.
Melancholy Weaknesses
While others have been reading the strengths of their temperament, the melancholies have probably been reading their weaknesses. This is one of their weaknesses. They have a pessimistic outlook on life.
Unlike the sanguines and cholerics who are extroverts and enjoy being around people, melancholies enjoy being alone. They prefer to be in a familiar environment because they feel more safe and secure. Because of this they may be unsociable.
Next on the characteristics is, rigid standards. It is their strength of being a perfectionist that, when carried to extreme, turns into this weakness. It is helpful if others understand that they set higher standards for themselves than they do for others.
You can tell what kind of a mood they are in for it is almost as though they have their own personal rain cloud that goes with them wherever they are. Depression is common to them.
There is no other temperament with such abilities, nor any other temperament that feels so inadequate. They interpret casual words or events very personally. This self-centeredness causes them inner turmoil and often surfaces as hypochondria.
Being critical is one weakness they can control. The fact that they are more critical of themselves than of others is also true. If you have children of this temperament, they feel they are a failure unless they get 100's all the time and get the highest grades in school.
If you scored highest in this area a weakness to watch out for is feelings of guilt. They are so concerned about the mistakes they made yesterday and the mistakes they may make tomorrow that they can't enjoy today.
Indecisiveness is one of their characteristics because they have to weigh all the facts before making a decision.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Learn to Accept Yourself and Understand Others by Esther White Copyright © 2012 by Esther White. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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