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LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE ... PLANNED IN HEAVEN
By HELAINE DUFOE Balboa Press
Copyright © 2012 Helaine C. Dufoe
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-6249-0
Chapter One
THE UNIVERSE OF CHILDHOOD
"We are spiritual beings having a human experience"
'Twas a cool and foggy morning on that March 28th day in the year of our Lord, one thousand nine hundred and twenty four; as the family boarded that immense looking ship ('The Montcalm') bound for Canada, which was now going to be their new home.
Tom and his twin sister and younger brother, along with their parents, were finally going back to Canada after their long stay in England. Tom heaved a big sigh—he just knew it was going to be a long and arduous trip—he was almost twelve now and remembered the trip from Canada to England a few years earlier. The family had been living around Halsall, Lancashire, England for a few years now (1919—1924) visiting with family—Tom's grandparents were getting old, and the family stayed there until after their deaths. Now it was time for them to return to Canada—he didn't know it then, but it would be the last time he would ever cross 'that big pond' called the Atlantic Ocean.
Tom's parents were born and raised in England (around London), and had originally migrated to Canada in the early 1900's AND even got married in Canada (in Montreal, Quebec in 1910), so of course the three children were born in Canada. Tom's father had been employed in Canada as a concrete company foreman—the job terminated pretty much at the end of World War I; which gave them the 'impetus' to go back to the 'old country' and spend time with ailing parents. One of the problems they were dealing with was that the siblings had all come down with chicken pox just previous to their departure from England; and so they had to be skillfully bundled up by their parents anytime they came topside on the ship in the cool and damp weather, to hide their 'disease' from the authorities. Gaining boat passages for the family had taken a lot of effort, time and money; and they couldn't let a childhood disease stop them!
Tom's parents had finally settled in a mid-size town called Port Arthur, Ontario (twin city with Fort William; the twin cities were amalgamated later and re-named 'Thunder Bay' through a referendum on January 1, 1970) which was situated at the 'head' of Lake Superior on Thunder Bay. It had huge grain elevators, which employed many people. These elevators were used to store grains shipped there by train from Western Canada, and then loaded on huge ships and sent on to other parts of the world. There was also a couple of big pulp and paper mills there, which also employed many people. There was a big mountain/peninsula out in the bay, which resembled a person lying down with their arms folded over their chest. The local natives called this the "Sleeping Giant" (or Nanibijou) and local legend was that this had been a real person; and now he lay forever out in the bay, guarding it from unwanted intruders. There was also a large navy ship yards there, called the H.M.C.S. Griffon. There was a big tourist site, not too far from the twin cities, called Kakabeka Falls. And also not far from there was a big silver mine site at Shebandewan. There were also many churches and schools in the area, as well as a lot of shopping centers; and it seemed like a great place to raise a family. Upon their return to Canada, Tom's father got hired on at the Thunder Bay Paper Company, and worked there for over twenty years—he got very sick then and eventually died (in December of 1945) from that illness.
Time passed, and Tom graduated from school at an early age; and put himself through high school working evenings for the local Abitibi Pulp and Paper Mill (formerly the Thunder Bay Paper Company, and later bought by the Abitibi Corp.) After he graduated, Tom worked full-time for Abitibi as a purchasing agent, and retired from there many years later. Previous to this, during the 'Great Depression' (from 1929 to 1941—it began with the stock market collapse 'Black Friday' on October 29, 1929) he worked for the local Department of Highways on the Trans-Canada Highway #17—sometimes for only a dollar a week. Times were tough, and the local companies such as Abitibi had no money to pay their employees for most of that 'Depression' time; so the men had to get work wherever they could. But Tom kept up with his school studies at all costs—he was a very determined young man, which helped get him the lifetime position he worked at AND retired from.
In his early twenties, Tom met and dated Claire, a young woman of French-Canadian descent (who had two brothers and three sisters). Claire was working at an ice cream parlor, but had also done some modeling for the Sears-Roebuck Catalog. Tom and Claire were married on June 19th, 1935; and eventually had three children, two boys and a girl (Roger, 'Lainie' and Gordon) during the late 1930's and early 1940's. A very bad incident happened to Roger when he was about a year old that changed his and his family's lives forever. Lainie was either a tiny baby, or very heavy in her mother's womb at the time. Roger was in his high chair, and he started to tip over. Claire couldn't get to him fast enough, and he had a terrible fall. Claire often spoke of the 'bathtub full of blood' as a result of the accident—Lainie still has that image in her mind. Roger received a big scar on his head (internally as well as externally), which later turned into epilepsy. Somehow, Lainie grew up knowing she was to blame for this accident. Nonetheless, Roger and Lainie were good friends growing up, and even as adults. Roger was a very easy-going person, always ready to help anyone at anytime.
Tom joined the Canadian Navy during the Second World War, and was stationed at the R.N.O. Weymouth (which was with the H.M.C.S. Bytown ship) in Nova Scotia as a Stores Officer for a couple of years. He also remained in the Navy Reserve for many years afterward. The whole family followed him to the east coast later, and lived in Shelburne, Nova Scotia for about a year between early 1944 and early 1945. Lainie remembers throwing up a lot on the train, both ways between Ontario and Nova Scotia, and her mother 'spanking' her for being such a nuisance. Lainie always seemed to be in trouble for something!
One day when they were down by the Ocean watching the fisherman, they got a little too close to the dock; and Gordon fell in the water. Lainie can still sometimes see her little brother laying there face down in the water—but suddenly one of the men grabbed him by his clothes and pulled him out. Lainie was supposed to be watching him, and got in trouble for that too.
Also, still while they lived in Shelburne, the three siblings played in a nearby park quite a bit. One day when they were playing there, a strange man came along and was enticing them with candy. The man finally threw his jacket over Lainie, and carried her off to his nearby apartment. Lainie stood there screaming and crying, and staring at that huge thing sticking out between the man's legs. He kept saying: "It's okay—I won't hurt you". But of course it did. Afterwards the man returned her to the park and gave her a bag of candy, and warned her not to tell anyone about what had happened. Her brothers were leaving the park, and they all went home. Afraid to say anything, Lainie 'hid' the candy on an outside window ledge.
The next day, her mom found the candy and asked where it came from. Lainie started crying and sobbing—her mom guessed at what had happened, and gave Lainie a sound beating for being such a 'bad girl'. Lainie was left believing that she had somehow encouraged that man. Thus began a long journey for her of living in a fantasy world, and pretending that whatever was going on, wasn't really happening. Unfortunately, a few times when her mom was mad at her, she had told Lainie that she never wanted girls—she only wanted boys. Such a blow to a very young girl—she believed she had done something terribly wrong; and somehow she needed to prove to her mom that she could be as good as any darn boy! So beginning at this very young age, Lainie started living in a prison she created for herself in her mind—only she pretended it was a safe place.
Claire and the children traveled back to Port Arthur (Tom followed later on), and the family lived at the local Army Barracks for a while. Lainie's maternal grandfather had been a cook in the army during both the Boer War and the First World War, and was now the curator of and living at the Army Barracks. Some other cousins, aunts and uncles, of hers were also living there after the Second World War for sometime, as housing was very difficult to find. The cousins often played out in the little yard outside the Armories. One day when they were playing catch, the ball got away from them and bounced out on the street. Lainie ran out to get it, and ran right into the path of an oncoming car. It knocked her down and passed right over her; but by some miracle, she was only slightly hurt. The car stopped, and the driver got out—white and shaking—obviously, as he thought he had killed a child. Claire pulled Lainie out from under the car, and gave her another good beating for having scared that poor man half to death. After all, playing in the street was against the rules. But wait—have we forgotten that Lainie almost got run over?
After the war, the family lived in many different houses around Port Arthur—Tom was very skillful at home improvements—they bought houses, Tom would fix them up, and then sell them for a profit. One of the houses they lived in for about a year was just outside the city (Jumbo Gardens), and they had a little chicken farm. There were many drinking parties in that house, with the aunts and uncles and other friends. On more than one occasion, after the men were all 'feeling pretty good', they would go out to the chicken coop, and chase chickens around, and strangle a few of them—the children could hear the chickens loudly clucking ('screaming') in the night. Then they would eat chicken all week! While living out there, all three of the siblings went to the same one-room school. That was a very different experience—even for them, as the other schools they went to had a room for each grade. Lainie also remembers one time when her mom was trying to burn a bit of the yellow grass around the yard, and they almost burned the 'chicken coop' AND even the neighbor's grass and home.
Yes, unfortunately, Tom was a heavy drinker; and there was always lots of drinking and fighting. The parents always seemed to be 'making up' after many of their drinking parties. During one particularly noisy party when they were living in the city, Lainie got woken up and couldn't get back to sleep. So she sat at the head of the stairs, listening to the many familiar voices of her parents, aunts and uncles, and their friends. They got around to talking about their children, and the things they did which made them so special. And then Lainie heard her mother's voice, bragging about her boys, and then saying she'd never wanted girls, and wished she'd had three boys. There was dead silence in the room, as people digested what they'd just heard. And then everyone started talking at once, trying to cover up the quiet. Lainie certainly knew her mother wasn't very fond of her—and had already been told that she'd only wanted boys; but it was an unbelievable shock to hear her mother say out loud to friends and family that she wished Lainie had never been born! She vowed a 'child's oath' to work extra hard every day to prove to her mother that she wasn't a mistake. And, of course, there was more pretending or fantasy time for her—she could hear her mom telling her that she was 'ugly' and 'stupid' and 'would never amount to anything'—even when her mom was nowhere around. She was sure her mom was only trying to discipline her—but a voice in her head kept repeating those negative statements for many years.
Lainie spent quite a bit of time with her paternal grandmother during her early years. Her paternal grandfather had died at an early age, and Tom and his brother built a small house for their mom out in the backyard of his twin sister's home; so that she had some privacy, but was also close-by in the case of an emergency. 'Granny' told Lainie many stories about her life as a young woman when she was growing up outside London, England. Granny worked in many castles, and said a lot of them were haunted. She told of this one particular time when she was cleaning the stairs, and sat down for a rest. She heard a door open on the floor above her, and footsteps coming down the stairs. She moved off to one side, to let the person pass. She said the stepping sound went right past her, down to the main floor, and out the front door—but there was no one there! She said the local authorities set lots of traps at these 'haunted' places, as they believed them to be a hoax. But they never caught anyone. So the ghost stories lived on. 'Granny' would also make Lainie get up in the night when there was a thunderstorm, and 'hide' under the bed. And THEN she would tell her to watch out for those spiders that were 'as big as her purse'! Lots of fun! Lainie remembers when her papa was still alive—as young kids they'd go to visit them, and they always had tea and cookies at their place. Lainie's mom would say: "Don't give them tea to drink—it will stunt their growth!" However, Lainie and her brothers were all tall! 'Granny' would say when she poured the tea: "Look at all the bubbles on top of the cup. Quickly scoop them up with your spoon, and you'll always have money." That's one of those 'old wives tales' that came true in Lainie's life—she's never been rich, but always had enough. She still remembers that today when having a cup of tea, and still always 'catches the bubbles' in her teacup.
Lainie came down with scarlet fever when she was six or seven years old, and this developed into rheumatic fever. She was hospitalized for a couple of months, and bed-ridden at home for another couple of months. But her parents paid for a school tutor, and she managed to pass her school year—really—it was only grade one or two! She was left with a heart murmur because of this disease. But this 'tutor' and herself became good friends, and Lainie would tell her things that happened in the house that week. Then the tutor would relate the stories to her mom and dad on her way out—and THEN Lainie would be in trouble again! She was taught to NEVER talk about anything that happened in their home. Lainie became even MORE secretive as a result, and found it very hard to make friends. And, of course, you could never have friends over to the house! So it was a pretty lonely existence for a little girl. Her brothers always had each other, even though there were a few years between them.
She did have a pretty good friend across the street though when they lived on Wolsley Street by the name of Doreen—she would be invited to spend time with the family in the summer when they went to their camp around Schreiber, Ontario; because Doreen was an only child. Lainie really enjoyed those times, swimming and boating—the two of them would go portaging with the canoe on the nearby lakes—they'd be gone all day sometimes, and nobody worried about them. Those were great times! And she's still friends with Doreen today through the phone and the internet, as they live in different cities.
One of Lainie's favorite memories in the summer around this age also (at the Wolsley Street home), was going to the back yard and pulling a carrot out of the garden and feeding it to the milkman's horse on her way to school in the morning. In those days, the milk and bread were home-delivered with a horse and wagon. In the winter, the milk would freeze, and the cream would be sticking up a couple of inches above the bottle when you went out to get it in the morning—this was in the time before homogenized milk. There WERE motorized vehicles by now, but not everyone had two or three vehicles, as is the case today. In fact, Lainie's parents bought their first vehicle—a Model T Ford—or the 'old tin lizzie' as Lainie and her brothers called it—after they moved from this home on Wolsley Street out to the 'Jumbo Gardens' area, as mentioned earlier. Lainie recalls when the family took a trip to Duluth, Minn., and her dad was just amazed at all the traffic and the 'four lane' roads, and would get a little nervous as vehicles were passing him on both sides. The last home they had all together as a family was on Ray Boulevard Street—her dad put up black wrought iron railings on the front steps with a big 'B' in them, which was the initial of their last name. The last time Lainie returned to Thunder Bay, she visited the houses they used to live in; and the 'B' railings were still there at that house!
(Continues...)
Excerpted from LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE ... PLANNED IN HEAVEN by HELAINE DUFOE Copyright © 2012 by Helaine C. Dufoe. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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