Life Lyrics: Love, Sex & Other Deviances

by Melody Fowler

Overview

LIFE LYRICS: love, sex and other deviances gives you the decadent sensation of sneaking a look at someone's personal diary. It is a journey of life experiences and observations about the author and people the author has encountered. She reaches into your heart, holds your feelings in her hands and then her pen tells your story and often yours... This is a poetic experience you shouldn't miss...

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781452076676
Publisher:	AuthorHouse
Publication date:	06/17/2011
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	116
File size:	1 MB

About the Author

Melody lives in the picturesque and tranquil British Columbia, Canada, just outside the city of Vancouver. Her writing experience has fundamentally been as a wordsmith for letters and articles: polishing corporate reports for others. Then, after being involved in the development of an independent film, her creativity stirred. She stepped outside the confines of business writing and her artistic spirit was born, and with it her joy. She writes fiction, but her true passion is poetry because it speaks the hearts universal language. She is inspired by the works of Maya Angelou, Alice Walker, Charles Bukowski and fellow Canadian Shane Koyczan because they embrace all aspects of human behavior and of life. Melody believes life itself is her greatest muse. Her insightful reflections leave you with the sensation that she has reached into your heart, held your feelings in her hands, and then lets her pen tell your story, and often hers.

Read an Excerpt

Life Lyrics

Love, Sex & Other Deviances

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By Melody Fowler

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2011 Melody Fowler
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4520-7665-2

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Chapter One

          LOTUS FLOWERS

    Worldwide we are prisoners of our sex
        We FEMALES
    The pain is great and is small for us all
    Widows of India living a half life
    Some too young to have lain with their
         husbands as a true wife
    Lovely Lotus Flowers they float gracefully
         imprisoned in the shadows
    They drift in the dark & dank waters
          of their existence
    Still beautiful and resilient
    Tragically they pray to the gods
          that they might be reborn a man
    How can it be, that man cannot embrace
          the sex that births the human race?
    Do you fear our power?
    Young African girls
    Tiny blossoms sliced with rusty razors
    Uninformed
    Saturated with blood, tears and fear
    Their tortured cries no one will choose to
    hear Fate forever denies pleasure
    Instead there is a life of pain
    Who could possibly see this as just?
         Why is it wrong for women to lust?
    Do you fear our power?
    Chinese baby girls left in the elements
          to die
    Men cannot reproduce alone
    They need us like flesh and like bone
    Do you fear our power?
    Burquas block the light
    Buds need sun to grow
    Just as a son needs a Mother
    We all need a reason to be
    And all have a right to be free
    Do you fear our power?
    Women in the Western world still earn less
    Do they really see us as less?
    Or do they desire that WE see us as less?
    They look at us and think of what position
         they could contort us in
    Then we are made to feel that
         we are the ones that are made of sin
    Worldwide you whore us however you can
    I ask you to remember this:
    It is MOTHER earth
    And WE that give birth
    If you kill us, you too will be gone
    You should not fear our power – Embrace it
    We do not desire war
    We do not wish to dominate you
    We can
    And will
    Love you
    If you see
    The greatest power
    Is
    EQUALITY

2 SIDES OF 1

I am the product of two sides
of one culture
One, born of privilege and
a sense of entitlement
The other, humble and hardworking
I am my Mother's desire
for fine things
and
My Father's sweat into the soil
Her French manicure and
the dirt under His nails
How do I reconcile my identity in this contrast of culture?
I am equal parts pride and shame
His ethics I value and
hers I oppose
I bow my head
This symbolic gesture communicates
two things:
Own personal shame and respect,
my ethnicity's disparity
I honor my Father, he is reverence and love
I avoid my Mother,
she is judgment and pain
He requests that I heal my relationship
with his wife
I cannot deny him anything
That is in my capacity to give him in this life
He is my core and my substance
She is unfathomable
We don't look or think alike
I believe behind her light skin
is my dark side
Most curse inherited physicality
For me it's the inner recesses I wish to reject
The negative dialogue echoes in my head
Forgiving her will soothe him
and release me
I recognize to be whole I must resolve
I am 2 sides of 1
Let the absolution begin
Without her
I never would have known
the great love of him
I forgive you Mother
2 became 1
that makes me whole
Amen


    BLUE

    I saw blue this evening
    And that blue was all there was
    Solid and beautiful
    Fighting black
    As it moves in a mist
    Night black robbing the beauty of the evening blue
    It was an endless patch of hope
    If I were a color I would want to be that Lavender blue


FAITH AND RELIGION

Faith and Religion
One has little to do with the other
I know all about
quiet controlled environments
Where there is quiet
there isn't always peace
The confessionals
The small dark closets
Musty with fear, shame, regret
AND
sheer desperation
Men in black clothes
AND
white collars
They squashed the good girl in me
with their judgment
For a time there was comfort
in the rich tone of the bells
summoning the flock
The soothing scent of frankincense
the hymns of faith and forgiveness
It was a place of solace
I did hide there
Then after all the years of ritual,
Catholic school
Relatives on their moral high ground
Making themselves feel big
AND
trying their best
to make me feel
small
All that remains is
the Guilt
It was hammered into my soul
like the nails through His flesh on the cross
What was the cost?
I kept faith
And
let go of religion
I believe in being kind to others and
leaving things better than
I found them
Love is my religion
If only I could let go of
the Guilt


    KNOW-IT-ALL

    Arrogant and uncaring and PROUD of it
    There is a difference between knowledge
            and WISDOM
    You please yourself hurling backhanded
         comments wearing that
           superior smirk
    Insults are what they really are
           but not to my intelligence
         to yours
    The evil grin says you have no feeling
           of equality
    You come from a culture of "me"
    You toot your own horn like you are
           performing part of a symphony
    As though it would delight those listening
    And if there is anything WE don't care about, it is to
    listen to your soliloquy of:
    "I did ..." "I know ..." "I told him ..."
    "I ... I ... I"
    You should recognize you love the sound
           of your own voice
         and spare the rest of us
    Part of earning respect
         is knowing to get it you must know how to GIVE it
    But you don't care what we feel
    That's good
         because you don't have our respect
    The years shall pass
    If life teaches you the bare necessities:
    You will know that caring is vital to personal growth
            ... and one day
           If fate sees fit
    You will see this younger self in another -
    You will distinguish how little you really
          knew
    When you knew it all


    STUPID HUMANS

    If I had a dollar for every
    stupid human I encountered ...
    I would own my own island
    I would live in a castle on
    said island
    Instead ...
    I have high blood pressure.

SPIRIT THIEF

You'll never be anything
He said
The words were poison
They infected my life
Index finger in MY face
Making sure I knew MY place
raised voice
Apparently I didn't listen to quiet reason

Pressing buttons
Especially the ones marked
"Danger! Don't press."
The ones marked with skull and crossbones

They are pressed over and over and over
The buttons eventually are broken permanently in the
"on" position
AND STILL
He couldn't break me
You're a WHORE
He said
Who died and made him the boss of me?
Oh yes. My Dad died.
My Mom became his bride
And he became the boss of us.
All his pontificating on the evils of ME
Beat me emotionally
And she
robotic and empty

A shell of who she used to be
Systematically erasing her and trying to destroy me
The light that shone so bright in us
He tried to extinguish
Squeezing it like it was pus
Doubt and insecurity reigned
Medicating myself to ease the pain
My SPIRIT refused to die
It like a pilot light
The flicker lay in wait
Spirit thieves only have the power we bestow unto
them
I began to release myself from his hold
I was eighteen, young and bold

There had to be more than this
I had to find my bliss
I met with her secretly
I have to leave
I said
To stay is death
I'll come with you
She said
My Spirit's flame ignited
Like the fiery red ball of the sun as it sets
A brilliant beacon of light
It revealed the path for our escape
She and me now free
You'll never be anything
He said

I will be everything
I said
I
Am EVERYTHING
And
He
Is
dead


    WHEN DREAMS MEET DAYLIGHT

    In that place caught between

    Wakefulness and sleep,

    I catch a glimpse of images,

    Like a mosaic of life;

    Little glimpses of what was or possibly what might be,

    When my eyes squint to arrive into this day I travel into
    full consciousness,

    I realize that some images were strong enough to cross
    to the daylight with me ...

    Perhaps not dreams,

    When they survive to consciousness,

    They are like positive affirmations,
    to guide our steps towards them.


    BALLERINA

    She floats across the stage
         with the grace of a swan
    Clear stiletto heels & brass pole
    Easily replaced
    With Ballet slippers and a barre,
    More to her taste
    They see her in leather lingerie
    She sees herself clad in
      silk and velvet finery
    She is on another stage in her mind

    She pauses to face the horny glares
    But she's not there to return their stare

    Mr Gyno-row
    Depraved lost soul
    He never misses a show
    Eager to catch her eye
    Her affections he tries to buy

    But they are all faceless and nameless

    Speakers blare guitar, heavy rock
    The delicate aria of violins in her head;
    It doesn't block

    Her body sways and bends
    forming strong straight Dancer lines
    Unappreciated by the patrons
          who she avoids like land mines
    She pauses
    to face their horny glares
    but she's not there
    to return their stare
    She's writing up her grocery list
    Bread – eggs – milk
    Another spin on the pole
    All the while wondering
    if she took out the trash
    This is what she does for cash

    An hour a day,
    a small price to pay
    They in their fantasy and she in hers

    She closes the door behind her
    as she floats off the stage
    She returns to her real life
    The transition as simple as turning a page

    The swan floats out the door and down
    the street seeking her lake
    In her sweatshirt and her jeans,
          dreaming her ballerina dreams


    BACKYARD BLISS

    It's warm

    The breeze carries the fragrance of the lilies and the
    sound of chimes in my gazebo; I laze in the reclining
    deck chair

    Dividing my time between watching the inside of my
    eyelids and the sky divers in the distance

    I read poetry, mostly Bukowski

    I listen to the birds, and the barking dogs, the passing
    Trains ... peace washes over me

    My thought is that we are all a little broken and that's
    what makes us beautiful

    Bukowski and me, in my backyard bliss

    Broken and beautiful


    THE VOICE

    Then
    My lips stretched to scream
         but it was not audible
    This silent scream rang so loud in my head
           at times it stifled life
    I wondered if I was invisible in this
         deafening quiet
    A lifetime peering through the looking glass ...
    ... but I did not fall down the rabbit hole
    I journeyed there unwittingly and FACED
          the madness
    To understand it was NOT mine
           It was theirs
    They could not chain my mind
           because my spirit is FREE

    Now
    My voice is heard
    They could not take it ... it belongs to ME
    The Scream is gone
    Replaced
    Now I sing

    I sing my redemption song
    I sing it proud, I sing it strong
    I sing for others trapped in the silence
    But not for long
    THIS VOICE HAS PURPOSE
          AND WILL BE HEARD
    They cannot clip the wings of this bird!


    IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

    Seduced by it
    The lights, the riches,
    surrounded by silicon bitches

    Eaten by it
    My trust, my faith, my soul

    Left empty by it
    Deconstructed, reconstructed;
    Like I am made of paper
    Ripped apart, piece by piece
        by crows

    Then glued together;
    The jagged ripped edges
    invisible to the world
    What your eyes can't see
    my heart feels
    When the dream becomes
        a nightmare
    I don't answer to my name
    Does anyone remember Robyn?
    She feels like a distant memory
    They told me
    They warned me
    I have to remind myself I wanted it

    FAME
    It's not what you think


MUSHROOM CLOUDS

Marching together we rally for peace
A mass, we are, growing like fungus
Shouting at the sky,
lifting our voices to the clouds
I stop and all sound disappears
Stepping back I watch the voiceless mob:
singing, chanting
Their words melt into the air
I look above my thoughts drifting
Making shapes with the clouds in my mind
Laughing children, smiling eyes
Souls that leave
without saying their goodbyes
Eagles, planes, missiles, bears,
blackened skies, barren land
Mushroom clouds
A child crying in the distance brings me back
The noise echoes
creating a wave of disturbance
in the atmosphere
Forming a blanket of white
smothering the mushroom cloud
Waving a flag for surrender


NICE LIPS

    "Nice Lips," your words hum,
    As you kiss them
    Moments in the now
    And
    In the long ago
    All one
    You moan as you devour me
    Until I convulse and
    The pleasure sets me free
    We stare into each other's souls
    when you thrust into me
    I feel you
         The way you want me to
    You leave your imprint on me
    Do you daydream about this
      Like I do?
    Just thinking of all your intensity makes the blood rush
            and the wetness flow
    Oh baby do you really know?
    What exists between us
    Is
    Just
    Pure
    Energy
    "Nice lips" your words hum,
    As you kiss them.


R U THE 1

R u the 1 I've looked 4?
R u the 1 I've longed 4?
Do you seek 2 give & not 2 take?
I know you relate
I've always been a gambler
The stakes are high – Do I dare roll the die
What came before you is eclipsed
It and he was nothing but a fantasy
but U r reality
Always darkest before the dawn
R my eyes closed? Maybe u R the light?
How can this B?
R u the 1?
Or will I run? R u the 1?
Or do I lose everything
Is it my everything u want?
U will not claim me
2 the world
the whole thing looks shady
2 me it means I'm not ur baby
R u the 1?
I am like a child
spinning around with my eyes closed
When I open them I will fall down
Maybe it is time 4 me 2 leave this town
Maybe it won't hurt when u aren't around
I wanted u 2 b the 1


WHAT I WANTED TO BELIEVE

I wanted 2 believe
Believe that I could enjoy just a piece of u
My piece of u
The piece that God saved 4 me
The piece fate delivered 2 me

But my heart isn't made that way

I am not the 1 of many type
I am not a girlfriend
I am THE girlfriend

You can't just play with me and put me
back on the shelf
I feel u baby.
I feel u in the heart of me
Not just the part of me u think about

Maybe 1 day
1 day when U r old and gray
Maybe that day
Maybe then U will want 2 slow down
Maybe I could be the 1

Right now I think
I am meant 2 b ur friend
so this is the end

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Life Lyrics by Melody Fowler Copyright © 2011 by Melody Fowler. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

1. Lotus flowers....................1
2. 2 Sides of....................5
3. Blue....................8
4. Faith and religion....................9
5. Know-it-all....................13
6. Stupid humans....................16
7. Spirit thief....................18
8. When dreams meet daylight....................25
9. Ballerina....................26
10. Backyard bliss....................30
11. The voice....................31
12. It's not what you think....................33
13. Mushroom clouds....................35
14. Nice lips....................37
15. R U the 1....................39
16. What I wanted to believe....................41
17. The sum....................43
18. Lush....................47
19. Revelation....................48
20. I want only this....................51
21. Dying embers of love....................53
22. Ribbons....................55
23. 100 Pounds....................56
24. My heart whispered....................58
25. The heartbreaker and the heartbroken....................60
26. Lovers....................62
27. Addicted....................64
28. A fatherless girl....................66
29. My life, my rules....................71
30. I have my ticket....................74
31. The good brother....................77
32. Glory....................80
33. Lion heart....................81
34. Soul connection....................82
35. Us....................83
36. Tick tick tick....................84
37. All I have are tears....................86
38. Memory foam....................88
39. Recovering from brain surgery....................90
40. The slow goodbye....................92
41. A message from great-great grandmother Loucindia....................95
42. You were with me all along....................98
43. Lady on the park bench....................101
44. Royal and blue....................103