Lost Cosmonaut: Observations of an Anti-Tourist

Lost Cosmonaut: Observations of an Anti-Tourist

by Daniel Kalder
Lost Cosmonaut: Observations of an Anti-Tourist

Lost Cosmonaut: Observations of an Anti-Tourist

by Daniel Kalder

eBook

$14.99 

Available on Compatible NOOK Devices and the free NOOK Apps.
WANT A NOOK?  Explore Now

Related collections and offers


Overview

Daniel Kalder belongs to a unique group: the anti-tourists. Sworn to uphold the mysterious tenets of The Shymkent Declarations, the anti-tourist seeks out the dark, lost zones of our planet, eschewing comfort, embracing hunger and hallucinations, and always traveling at the wrong time of year. In Lost Cosmonaut, Kalder visits locations that most of us don't even know exist -- Tatarstan, Kalmykia, Mari El, and Udmurtia. He loves these places because no one else does, because everyone else passes them by.

A tale of adventure, conversation, boredom, and observation -- occasionally enhanced by an overactive imagination -- Kalder reveals a world of hidden cities, lost rites, mail-order brides, machine guns, mutants, and cold, cold emptiness. In the desert wastelands of Kalmykia, he stumbles upon New Vasyuki, the only city in the world dedicated to chess. In Mari El, home to Europe's last pagan nation, he meets the chief Druid and participates in an ancient rite; while in the bleak industrial badlands of Udmurtia, Kalder searches for Mikhail Kalashnikov, inventor of the AK-47, and inadvertently becomes a TV star. An unorthodox mix of extraordinary stories woven together with fascinating history, peculiar places, and even stranger people, Lost Cosmonaut is poetic and profane, hilarious and yet oddly heartwarming, bizarre and even educational. In short, it's the perfect guide to the most alien planet in our cosmos: Earth.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780743293501
Publisher: Scribner
Publication date: 08/29/2006
Sold by: SIMON & SCHUSTER
Format: eBook
Pages: 288
File size: 2 MB

About the Author

Daniel Kalder was born in Fife, Scotland in 1974. He studied English Literature at Edinburgh University. In 1994 he was selected as one of the BBC's Young Poets of the Year. Kalder moved to Russia in 1997, where he found himself living in Smolensk, the only foreigner in the city, totally alone, unable to speak the language or read the alphabet. He loved it. He discovered an alternate universe of names, scientists, architecture, books, art, and music. And so Kalder's obsession with anti-tourism began. In 2001, he published his first short story in Chapman, Scotland's top literary magazine, but he subsequently abandoned short story writing and set about writing Lost Cosmonaut. He has produced articles on various themes ranging from CIA-approved torture techniques to how to swallow swords to the history of Lenin's corpse for a number of magazines in the UK and Moscow under a myriad of pseudonyms. And, so, for the last ten years Kalder has lived in the former Soviet Union applying himself to several different trades, though he has never sold arms or human organs.

Read an Excerpt


A note on this book:

This book is divided into four sections, four separate but interrelated journeys carried out over a period of several years. To fully capture this sense of time, one ought not to read continuously but rather, upon completion of each section, put the book down, go for a cup of tea, have a nap, take a stroll, that sort of thing. To achieve full results, one ought to put the book down for one year after reading Tatarstan, then for another year after reading about Kalmykia and for a full eighteen months before reading about Mari El. The last gap is much shorter: you need only wait four and a half months before reading about Udmurtia. In total then, it ought to take you almost four years to finish this book, which is not so ridiculous, when you consider that four years is approximately how much of our lives we spend shitting.

On the other hand, you can choose to ignore this advice and read the book in one sitting, forward, backward, sideways, or indeed upside down. It's entirely up to you. I was just trying to be helpful.

From The Shymkent Declarations

(Excerpts from the resolutions passed at the first international congress of Anti-Tourists at the Shymkent hotel, Shymkent, Kazakhstan, October 1999)

...As the world has become smaller, so its wonders have diminished. There is nothing amazing about the Taj Mahal, the Great Wall of China or the Pyramids of Egypt. They are as banal as the face of a Cornflakes packet.

Consequently the true unknown frontiers lie elsewhere.

The duty of the traveler, of the voyager is to open up new zones of experience. In our overexplored world these must of necessity be wastelands, black holes, and grim urban blackspots: all the places which, ordinarily, people choose to avoid.

The only true voyagers, therefore, are anti-tourists. Following this logic we declare that:

The anti-tourist does not visit places that are in any way desirable. -

The anti-tourist eschews comfort.

The anti-tourist embraces hunger and hallucinations and shit hotels.

The anti-tourist seeks locked doors and demolished buildings.

The anti-tourist scorns the bluster and bravado of the daredevil, who attempts to penetrate danger zones such as Afghanistan. The only thing that lies behind this is vanity and a desire to brag.

The anti-tourist travels at the wrong time of year.

The anti-tourist prefers dead things to living ones.

The anti-tourist is humble and seeks invisibility.

The anti-tourist is interested only in hidden histories, in delightful obscurities, in bad art.

The anti-tourist believes beauty is in the street.

The anti-tourist holds that whatever travel does, it rarely broadens the mind.

The anti-tourist values disorientation over enlightenment.

The anti-tourist loves truth, but he is also partial to lies. Especially his own.

Copyright © 2006 by Daniel Kalder

From the B&N Reads Blog

Customer Reviews