Love, Hope, Regret, Despair

by Andrew Todd Robinson

Overview

Everything contained on the pages herein
Comes from the heart and from within
I write what I feel, both good and bad
All of my emotions, both happy and sad
I thank all of the people who have motivated me
With their attitude of love or negativity
My inspiration comes from my heart
Both from when it was whole and broken apart
I truly thank you, the reader, for allowing me to share
My words of hope, love, regret, despair

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781496968517
Publisher:	AuthorHouse
Publication date:	02/09/2015
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	156
File size:	244 KB

About the Author

I am a warrior. I am a poet.
I am a lover. I am a fighter.
I am a chef. I am a maid.
I am an artist. I am a writer.
I am a singer. I am a dancer.
I am a little boy, and I am a man.
In touch with every aspect of myself—that is who I am.
I know what I have to offer,
And I know what I can give.
I know what I want in my life
And how I want to live.
I will sometimes stumble
And maybe even fall.
Accept me for who I am,
Or accept me not at all.
I am a human being,
And I do make mistakes.
I always try to better myself,
No matter what it takes.
There is always a good reason
For everything I do.
I am who I am,
Because of all I have been through.
Please do not judge
Based on what you think you see.
Try to understand who I am.
Make an effort to know me.

Read an Excerpt

Love, Hope, Regret, Despair

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By Andrew Todd Robinson

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2015 Andrew Todd Robinson
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4969-6852-4

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CHAPTER 1

Hope

I am empty without you.
Going through life's motions is all I do.
Just existing day to day.
Accepting whatever comes my way.
I only want us to be together.
A love that will last forever.
I am waiting for the day to arrive.
When I can start to live and not just survive.

A quiet still night in the mountain air,
my heart seems to not have a care.
My thoughts are of wonderous things,
that can happen between two human beings.
What is to come I do not know,
how will this realationship grow?
All I can do is let it be,
with patience I will soon see.

The water is peaceful, smooth, and still.
The night is quiet, brisk, and chill.
The stars are glowing and full of light.
It is a perfect and beautiful night.
I see the stars reflect in your eyes.
I can only guess at the thoughts that arise.
I do not know what you expect me to do.
I do what I feel is right by you.
Just tell me what you want from me.
Take the chance...........what will it be?

I do not know how to describe how I feel.
I only know that it is very real.
How can I make you understand?
How do I tell you my heart is in your hands?
I am afraid that I am going to tell you too much,
everytime you speak it is my heart that you touch.
Reguardless of how this makes you feel torwards me,
I had to tell you what I see.
I see the future of my heart within your eyes,
I see the joy we could have, and my heart cries.
Would you tell me exactly what you feel?
Will you tell me if this is real?

I have taken down the obstacles, barricades, and walls.
All of the past crumbles and falls.
Everything that blocked the way has been taken apart.
I have opened a path for you straight to my heart,
I invite you in to the inner most me,
My heart is open for only you to see.
Never have I been so open and bare,
Exposing myself like this I would never dare.
Opening my heart has not been in vain,
You have healed my heart and taken away my pain.
I can show you a love unlike anything that you know,
Over time it will do nothing but grow.

There is so much that I want to say,
But mere words are not the way.
I'm trying to express what is inside of me,
To open up all for you to see.
You have only seen a glimpse, a small little part,
Of the immense vastness that is my heart.
So afraid that I will scare you,
When you finally see what it is that I can do.
Don't fear to let me see,
How you feel about me.
Please show me that this is real,
I need to know how you feel.

I have seen a glimpse of the future,
and it is very bright,
I am finally out of the darkness,
and brought into the light.
All of my hopes for a woman,
that will be able complete me.
Have they been fulfilled,
we shall see.
All that I have ever wanted,
is just to feel what love is.
Not the only one who opens up,
the only one who gives.
Has my life of loneliness,
finally come to an end?
Am I seeing a new dawn of love,
can my heart finally mend?
At last I am being shown,
that love is still alive.
My wounded heart has healed,
now I know love will survive.

Lost in a world of darkness that is the night,
In the sky I see salvation, my guiding light.
It pierces the darkness and gives me hope,
That there is true love, my life saving rope.
I try to pull myself out of this pit called despair,
So painful when your heart is layed completely bare.
The burning pain of remorse and regret,
My only chance for survival is that we met.
Out of the darkness I start to rise,
Saved by the light from your beautiful eyes.

I lay in the dark my only thoughts are of you,
At a loss for words at what you do.
Stolen my heart like a thief in the night,
It feels so true, it feels so right.
What is to come only you can say,
I patiently wait for that fate filled day.
You already have the greatest thing I can give,
A life full of love is all I want to live.

I beg for you to tell me how you feel,
I must know if this is real.
What will happen between us two,
The choice is yours, it is up to you.
Together forever or always apart,
I need to know what is in your heart.
I can be trusted, can't you see?
One mistake does not define me.
I can be patient to make sure all is right,
To give what you deserve, I will surely fight.
I will do what needs doing until that day,
I only need know what your heart will say.

I have given you my heart it's yours to keep,
My feelings for you run so deep.
I've put all my faith and trust in you,
There is no doubt you know what to do.
Protecting my heart I know you will,
Always caring for what I feel.
I know my heart is safe and sound,
In your hands it can be found.
I am not afraid of what it all means,
To give myself to the woman of my dreams.

I lay in bed in the dark of the night,
I see clearly without any light.
I see the possibilities of what may come,
What path will it take, has the journey begun?
I will never give up and I will always strive,
To find the reason I keep hope alive.
Extremely difficult to patiently wait,
Can it possibly be destiny or even fate?
Only time will tell as to what it means,
Is it more or less than it seems?
Enjoying the journey in every way,
Step by step, and day by day.

Feeling like a giddy school boy,
Holding on to that youthful joy.
What amazing feeling is this?
One I forgot, one I miss.
Twisting my stomach all around,
My breath cannot be found.
I feel like kicking my legs about,
Full of excitement I want to scream and shout.
My heart is pounding in my chest,
Constant twitching I cannot rest.
Check the box yes or no,
That is the answer I have to know.
Remembering that from the past,
Hoping that all this will last.

The anticipation is horrendous, I hope it will last.
I want to go a million miles an hour,
and still not move too fast.
I can see into the future and know how I will feel,
It is strong and pure and very very real.
I'm scared to tell you what it is that I see,
I'm afraid you would run far away from me.
Such joy, happiness, and love the future can hold,
A better love story will never be told.
My heart is wide open, unprotected, and bare.
To the love that I offer, nothing can compare.
I only want your complete honesty,
Are you willing to take that chance with me?

What is this feeling that has engulfed me?
This tightness in my chest what can it be.
It's like a giant hand squeezing so tight.
It kind of hurts, but it feels so right.
I'm so eager to see what happens next.
All the possibilities have me vexed.
I think I know what it is that I feel.
Like a dream, it seems so surreal.
Pulled uncontrollably buy some unseen force.
I impatiently wait for this to run its course.

My heart is pounding in my chest.
This anxious feeling is one of the best.
I see the want deep in your eyes,
Oh what a pleasant surprise.
I move in to get closer to you,
Mesmerized by the view.
I pull your body closer to mine,
This one moment frozen in time.
I close my eyes, our lips barely apart,
This sensation melts my heart.
Then our lips finally touch,
This overwhelming passion is almost too much.
A warmth spreads through us as the kiss goes on,
Like a beautiful sunrise on a cold winter's dawn.
We learn so much of each other from that first kiss.
We are lost in that moment of unfathomable bliss.
I gently pull back and look at you,
These feelings we have are so very true.

The world is spread out before me,
all of it's wondrous beauty on display.
You have completely occupied my mind,
every second of every day.
I feel you in the sunrise,
your warmth washes over me.
When the sun sets in the evening,
your beauty is what I see.
All the stars that fill,
and light up the night sky.
Pale in comparison,
to the glow in your eyes.
You have cast a spell over my heart,
and I'm utterly bewitched by you.
Please tell me what it is you want,
and tell me what to do.

My stomach is always in my chest,
My heart can find no rest.
Pounding in anticipation at meeting you,
Even now I don't know what I'll do.
Nervous beyond all compare,
There is so much that I want to share.
Scared and anxious at the same time,
Is being impatient such a crime?
I cannot stand this wait any more,
Waiting to see you is such a chore.
The only thing I truly fear,
I won't want you to leave here.

I am so excited at what the future will hold,
The richness of love is worth more than gold.
To walk through life with the confidence
of knowing that someone loves you,
Gives the feeling that there is nothing you cannot do.
The world seems easy to conquer
when someone is by your side,
Sometimes following and sometimes your guide.
Everything can be accomplished when
your heart is filled with love,
One of the greatest gifts from our Lord above.
Finally I have a chance to not be someone's joke,
But to live a life with someone of an equal yoke.

Please tell me that this is real.
That I'm not crazy for how I feel.
This all seems to good to be true.
Being loved by a woman as perfect as you.
I don't see how any of this can be.
Nothing this wonderful ever happens to me.
Please understand that it's not you that I doubt.
But happiness is not what my life has been about.
I truly believe everything you say.
But nothing ever has gone my way.
I keep expecting the blow to fall.
The one that takes away it all.
Something that will keep us apart.
For me my last broken heart.
I'm sorry that I have these feelings at all.
I just know that I cannot survive the fall.
Feeling sorry for myself is not how I have felt.
These are just the cards I have been dealt.
Already for me it is too late.
Within you I have found my soul mate.
Trusting my life and my future with you.
Risk losing everything is what I'm going to do.
Without any concern I hold to my hearts call.
I am trusting you to not let me fall.

Never have I felt this way before.
No one could want someone more.
Every second of every day.
You have consumed me in every way.
I long to hold you close to me.
Your eyes are all I want to see.
To feel your lips touching mine.
A kiss from you would be divine.
To gently caress your lovely cheek.
The thought of you makes me weak.
I want to breath deep and take you in.
I want run my hands across your skin.
To feel your warmth emanate from you.
Your amazing beauty I want to view.

Am I getting lied to yet again?
Led to believe what will never happen.
Why am I being deceived?
I don't know what to believe.
Will I ever know what is real?
Am I the fool for what I feel?
I hope that you are who you say.
That my love will not be thrown away.
I cannot stand another heart break.
There is only so much I can take.
My one last chance to experience love.
I pray that I will not be disposed of.

All I want is to feel loved and needed.
My cries have all but gone unheeded.
In my heart there is always pain.
It keeps coming back again and again.
There is only one cure that I can never find.
No companionship no peace of mind.
Love is all that I desire.
Just to be wanted is all that I require.
To be caressed with a wanting hand,
would be more than I could stand.
To be kissed with passion and love,
an unreal sensation I would be in awe of.
To be held all through the night,
with loving arms holding me tight.
To have it whispered in my ear,
that losing me is their biggest fear.
To see the look in their eyes of lust and need.
Would be a wonderful feeling indeed.
This kind of love I have never felt before.
So simple a wish I ask for.

At this stage in my life I should not be lost.
What is my chance at love going to cost?
My future? My life? My happiness? My heart?
I give everything at the risk of it all falling apart.
I am confident and so very scared.
Will my heart be sacrificed or spared?
I roll the dice with my whole life.
Forever happy or forever strife.
I toss and turn not knowing what to do.
Is it real? Are you YOU?
I count the seconds as the time clicks by.
So many questions will be answered
in the blink of an eye.
As soon as we meet we will know.
That love is alive and dying to grow.

The only thing I want is being dangled before me.
Like a blind man waiting to finally see.
So close yet so far away.
I longingly wait for the day.
I try to be patient but I feel like I fail.
My heart feels like a train about to derail.
Every minute feels like a year.
Not being with you is the only thing I fear.
When will we finally be together?
For a moment or forever?

Is there anyone who will accept the love that I can give?
Is there anyone who wants to be a
part of this life that I live?
Is there anyone who will love me for me?
Is there anyone who can see what I can see?
Is there anyone who will trust me to love them?
Is there anyone that will not pass judgment or condemn?
Is there anyone that I can talk to?
Is there anyone who can see that I am true?
Is there anyone that wants to see into my heart?
Is there anyone to whom my
innermost being I can impart?
Is there anyone who will share themselves openly?
Is there anyone who can see what can be?
Is there anyone who will let love grow?
Is there anyone that I can show?
Is there anyone that has faith in love?
Is there anyone that believes love is a gift from above?

I am not desperate, I am not looking for just anyone.
I know who I can love and who deserves my affection.
I have the ability to see what can be.
I know who I can make and who will make me happy.
I am a wonderful and amazing man.
I only try and follow God's master plan.
He has shown me a better life.
Filled with love, no grief or strife.
His blessing will let my love be shown.
Only because of him it has grown.
I am not desperate, just anxious to share.
To show I love, to show I care.
Thank you Lord for giving me,
the ability to love, unconditionally.

Such potential in what I see.
Is it real or only what I want it to be?
Such a desired appeal.
Guessing if it is real.
I have no doubt as to what can come of this.
Am I on the right track or did I miss?
To know your thoughts, oh what I would do.
To hear your wants from the inner you.
Please understand my desire to know.
It comes from what I have to show.
The little things that matter so much.
A little look or gentle touch.
I simply ask to learn about you.
The reasons behind what you do.
Are you willing to share this with me?
To tell me what it is you see?

Giving you this gift just because I wanted to.
A small token to show I appreciate you.
To see you smile is all I want in return.
Hoping you are happy my only concern.
I am not looking for any reward.
I just did it of my own accord.
Please do not be mad at me.
Just enjoy the gift and do not feel guilty.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Love, Hope, Regret, Despair by Andrew Todd Robinson. Copyright © 2015 Andrew Todd Robinson. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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