Who do you think is going to read this?" my friend asks, throwing up her hands: "It's your journals! Every little detail. Every lecherous fantasy, all your perversions, obsessions. Even dreams. Who gives a fuck? You're not a famous person so who cares?
"I would have thought that my several long marriage-like relationships, twenty years in psychotherapy, careers in architecture, modern dance, fashion, filmmaking and decades of dedication to nutrition & exercise - would be foundation enough to give me a steady hand. That seems not to have happened.
I remain frightened of life, of people; any interaction provokes anxiety. Yet, I remain longing to be in the world. And in many ways, physically, I am. But inside, I'm still inside.
"Who cares?" my friend says. I care. I want out of my prison; out, to show myself in these journal-driven stories, where my fears and dysfunction are vivid and evident. However, I believe my writing expresses what we all feel subconsciously, then suppress, and is, therefore, interesting.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
I never thought reading inside the life of another person through a voyeuristic lens could keep me interested, but Jan certainly has had a long and varied life experience, reading through which unassumingly gives a sens of vicarious pleasure! His tone is both humorous and insightful. All-in-all a wonderful read.
In his stories Jan Gero directs an unveiling spotlight on his life with it's significant as well as insignificant events, experiences, fantasies and dreams. Places, persons, relations and situations are described vivaciously, sometimes in incomprehensible and even humorous details, well supported by JG's rough expressive sketches. Using his psychological magnifying glass, he reveals his paralyzing longing, insecurity, doubt and groping towards human relations, especially to the opposite sex, and thereby represents universal existential conditions, common to all. Though bearer - and victim - of confusing family structures and conflicts, originating in the time of second world war Europe, Jan Gero's egocentric self-reflection illustrates significant aspects of the present widespread 21st century ego-mentality.