From the New York Times bestselling author of How to Be a Woman and Moranthology comes a collection of Caitlin Moran’s award-winning London Times columns that takes a clever, hilarious look at celebrities, society, and the wacky world we live in today—including three major new pieces exclusive to this book.
When Caitlin Moran sat down to choose her favorite pieces for her new book, she realized that they all shared a common theme—the same old problems and the same old ass-hats. Then she thought of the word ‘Moranifesto’, and she knew what she had to do…
Introducing every piece and weaving her writing together into a brilliant, seamless narrative—just as she did in Moranthology—Caitlin combines the best of her recent columns with lots of new writing unique to this book as she offers a characteristically fun and witty look at the news, celebrity culture, and society. Featuring strong and important pieces on poverty, the media, and class, Moranifesto also focuses on how socially engaged we’ve become as a society.
And of course, Caitlin is never afraid to address the big issues, such as Benedict Cumberbatch and duffel coats. Who else but Caitlin Moran—a true modern Renaissance woman—could deal with topics as pressing and diverse as the beauty of musicals, affordable housing, Daft Punk, and why the Internet is like a drunken toddler?
Covering everything from Hillary Clinton to UTIs, Caitlin’s manifesto is an engaging and mischievous rallying call for our times.
Caitlin Moran’s debut book, How to Be a Woman, was an instant New York Times bestseller, with more than one million copies distributed worldwide. Her first novel, How to Build a Girl, received widespread acclaim, and she adapted it into a major motion picture starring Beanie Feldstein and Emma Thompson. As a twice-weekly columnist at The Times of London, Moran has won Columnist of the Year seven times. She lives in London.
Table of Contents
Introduction xi
Moranifesto: Part One 1
The Twenty-First Century, Where We Live
No One Wants to Go Out 14
I Can't Stop Listening to "Get Lucky" 17
In Defense of Hipsters 22
I Am Hungover Again 25
I Don't Know What to Do When I'm Alone 28
Printers Are Evil 31
The Exact Amount of Famous I Am: 35 Percent 34
All the Different Ways I Have Annoyed Famous People 37
TV Review: Shakespeare and David Bowie-England's Beautiful Boys 41
Why We Cheered in the Street When Margaret Thatcher Died 46
The Rich Are Blithe 52
How to Handle Other People's 5:2 Diets 55
BACON! 58
The Rainy Jubilee-God Bless You, Ma'am 61
TV Review: Imagine If You Didn't Love David Bowie 75
The Smells of Your Childhood 80
The Unhappy Bus Tour Guide, New York 83
Moranifesto: Part Two 87
The Feminisms
My Muppet Face 103
The Two Things Men Need to Understand About Women 106
Women Keep Fucking Things Up 109
I Propose Not Having Opinions on Women for, Say, Five Years 112
A Woman's Monthly Faultiness 115
Stop Making Everything Sexy 119
The Most Sexist TV Show in the World 122
No More Page 3 125
Let Us Find Another Word for Rape 128
Perhaps I Don't Believe in Redemption Anymore 131
FGM-It Takes Just One Person to End a Custom 134
This Is a World Formed by Abortion-It Always Has Been, and It Always Will Be 137
Oh, Hillary, Suddenly, I Love You 140
I Have Given Up Heels. Like, Totally 143
The REAL Equality Checklist 146
Why Can't Life Be More Like a Musical? 149
What Really Gives Mc Confidence 152
Women Getting Killed on the Internet 155
How to Run a Half-Arsed Global Internet Campaign 161
Slash & Burn-My Life with Cystitis 164
On the Set of Girls with Lena Dunham: "She Is the Very Thing" 167
When the Oscars Won't Be Evil 178
Mums Are Superheroes 181
All the Lists of My Life 184
Moranifesto: Part Three 195
The Future
I Love Pete's Car 209
Reading Is Fierce 212
Austerity-They Killed My Library 215
12 Years a Slave 218
New York Will Save Us 221
Syria: A Man on a Roof 224
The Refugees Are Saving Us All 227
We Are All Migrants 230
Swarms 233
We Need a New News 236
Je Suis Charlie 239
Paths 242
How Wind Turbines Keep Us Free 245
Russell T. Davies: The Man Who Changed the World, Just a Little Bit 248
Coffee Is Killing Us 257
TV Review: Elizabeth Taylor: Auction of a Lifetime-"Not So Vulgar Now, Is It?" 260
The Frumious Cumberbatch 264
The Poor Are Clever 278
Ironic Bigotry-Because Only a Cunt Would Pretend to Be a Cunt 281
