More Than A Conqueror

More Than A Conqueror

by Rolonda Goodwin

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As I was watching the movie Woman, Thou Art Loosed, I wondered about the main character and how she didn’t get healed from her rape and molestation until some time after she had murdered the man who had victimized her. She carried so much silent pain inside for years that led her down the path of drugs and prostitution, and eventually ended up in jail. Nearly 50% of women in prison say that they were abused as children.

Approximately 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused by the age of 18 . This tells me that many of us carry or have carried this type of pain. However, I still rarely hear people talk about this in our churches. I think that many of us have become masters of disguise and can easily hide this part of our lives under the blankets of guilt and shame.

What’s my story? Well, mine is probably not as bad as many, but it was bad enough to take over 15 years for me to get totally delivered. At the age of 12, I was molested by my aunt’s husband. I can remember that it happened on at least two occasions. After the first incident, I told my mother right away. It’s strange because I don’t remember either one of my parents being outraged. I’m sure that they were disgusted and angered, but they must have hid it from me. I thought in my mind that everything was going to get settled and that my uncle would get put in his place. Well, on another occasion, I was sent to his house to pick up an item, and it happened again. At this time, to be honest, I didn’t feel like anyone was in my corner because of the lack of action I saw from my family the first time. Somewhere along the way, I decided to suppress this, but was determined not to go through it anymore.

As the next few years passed, my uncle did not physically molest me anymore. However, I felt that he emotionally violated me, making comments about me being sexy or fine, which deeply sickened me.

Unfortunately, the molestation led to promiscuity in my teen years. By the age of 17, I was pregnant, which fell in line with the statistic that approximately 60% of teen pregnancies are preceded by experiences of molestation or other sexual abuse. I eventually started making really bad choices and poor judgment, which led to what is now called “date rape”. I don’t know the statistics, but I would say it seems that people who have been victims of some type of sexual or physical abuse somehow end up getting abused again. You rarely hear of just “one” time. Although a date rape is not usually as violent, it is still a violation, and almost a more shameful one to the victim because you already know the offender, and in many cases, feeling like you are at fault.

In my mid- twenties the Lord spoke to me through a dream and told me that He knew all that happened to me---He was there, meaning that He never left me alone. Immediately, I understood His love for me. I knew also that I had to come to a point that I could forgive my offender. Part of me wanted to confront him face to face, however, for some reason, it didn’t happen that way---probably, because it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. I cried out to God one night, forgiving my uncle and releasing the pain. The Lord healed my heart to the point I am able to talk to him, hug his neck, and show the love of God. I understand that the average person would not be able to do that. Know that it was through God only that I was able to.

On my short journey of just 34 years, I’ve come across several friends that have been either raped or molested by acquaintances, uncles, brothers, and even fathers. I’ve seen the effects. I’ve heard the horror stories. One friend said that she was affected to the point she was not able to be intimate with her wonderful husband. Another friend shared that these incidents caused her to eventually turn her affections toward women. A relative of mine said that her self-esteem was crushed for years. If you’re a victim, how did it affect you?
The good news is that there is deliverance and victory is here for you or a loved one who may have experienced this. There is hope. I want to share some things with you that I believe will bless you tremendously. I will mostly share things that were revealed to me over time that contributed to my deliverance.

Product Details

BN ID: 2940013171121
Publisher: Da' Harvest Publishing
Publication date: 08/08/2011
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 26
File size: 21 KB

About the Author

Rolonda was born and raised in North Carolina. She has a passion for mentoring young people, helping the less fortunate, and empowering others to become an “overcomer”. Rolonda holds degrees in Engineering and Business Administration, and resides in Georgia.

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