Melvin Morton loves vampires - the beauty, the power, the pop culture awesome of it all, and knows that his boring, lonely life as a night security guard in a mall would be so much better if only vampires were real.
That changes when a strange, pale girl grants Melvin's wish with one accidental drop of her blood.
Turns out that Hollywood lied. Melvin doesn't sparkle, he isn't handsome, and the sight of blood? Gross!
Fangless, blue, and utterly naïve, Melvin must find a way to survive while being stalked by a shadow demon and vengeful ghosts. His un-life un-death takes a sinister turn when he stumbles into an underworld civil war where a clan of goblins want to finish killing him, and not in a good way.
With the dubious assistance of a reluctant spirit guide, a voodoo priestess, and a sweet, but psychotic, best friend intent on helping him become the most awesome vampire ever, Mostly Dead Melvin has to navigate the narrow path to redemption between sorta-life and un-death, without a map, a net, or a clue.
Set in the eccentric center of the Northwest, Portland, Oregon, Mostly Dead Melvin is a pop culture satire of the modern vampire mythos.
|Publisher:||Smoking Simian Scribbles|
|Product dimensions:||6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.68(d)|
About the Author
She is the author of Marker of Faith -- a supernatural thriller, Weeku -- a soon-to-be-released graphic novel featuring the amazing art work of Michael O'Manion, and five short story collections. Her short stories and novels run the gamut of the supernatural to poignant vignettes of everyday life.
In a previous life Foinah was a musician, a publican, a fortune teller, a chef, a burgeoning astrophysicist, and an artist rep.
Now a domestic goddess and a mother by day/writer by night, Foinah enjoys her alter ego as the smoking monkey who gets to use a laptop.
"Writing is so much cheaper than therapy! And you can drink while you do it."
For more information and updates visit www.foinahjameson.com
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
I’ve seldom met a character who needed a hug and a beer and a life coach—in that order—as much as Melvin. Even Melvin’s death needs a do-over. Poor Melvin thought he was going to get lucky with the hot chick from the bar. Instead she chomped his neck and turned him into a vampire… mostly. Now Melvin’s stuck with blue skin, no fangs, and a miasma of rot. And then things get worse. Mostly Dead Melvin had me chuckling in sympathy throughout. I’ll admit that my chuckles were tinged with a bit of “glad this isn’t happening to me.” Melvin whines. To himself. On his blog. When the ghost of the first guy he kills—accidentally, of course—haunts him, he whines to him, too. And then Melvin gets a swift kick in his stinky blue butt in the shape of a super-helpful friend. A female friend on whom Melvin has crushed in silence since long before he was mostly dead. When this friend rolls up her sleeves it’s like Lucille Ball in vintage I Love Lucy piling chaos upon chaos. And then things get worse. Melvin’s misadventures make for a fun read. You’ll really want to poor sap to succeed. You’ll root for him to grow a spine. You’ll cheer when he’s up against some hard-core bad guys and doesn’t (always) trip over his own feet. Melvin’s the Everyman of the 21st century, if Everyman had blue skin and was mostly dead. Works for me.