I believe there are only two emotionslove and fear. Other emotions and feelings are derivatives of them, with love being the powerful positive and fear the negative. I also believe the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. Hate has emotions attached, but apathy is not caringits the absence of emotions. And I believe love is more powerful than fear or hate, as it can overcome them when the love is honest. To reach a point of you being happy means to learn how to releaseto let go of all your past stuff through steps in this book with exercises. While I will repeatedly say that change and everything else is a choice, most people wont accept that. They rationalize or believe their obligations or whatever will not allow them to do so. But as you read through the seventy various directed parts and try some of the exercises, you will see how truly amazing being free from your past can be. This is not about organized religion; its my thirty years in spirituality. Its found within a few religions, but no religion is within spirituality. It is considered the singular, personal connection to Mother/Father God/Universe-Source, since that power is within each individual to have and use as promised through the Holy Spirit. This is about finding ones own path for your destined journey.
Author of the Memoir, Choices, Changes & Friends: 1970s After Divorce, with degrees in psychology, marketing, and English bilingualbi-cultural studies in graduate school. Ive traveled to thirty-six countries and forty states. I lived in six and in Japan for seven years as a corporate business trainer. I worked ten years in HR management in San Francisco and as a life coach-teacher.
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Changing Yourself - Part #1
I am not a Psychologist, though Psychology is one of my degrees. Nor am I a Counselor, per se, yet did Life Coaching in San Francisco and Michigan for years. I also have more than twenty years assisting people as a professional trainer with various businesses, as well my Human Resources Management experience in Employee Relations for almost ten years. Then, there is my own erratic quest, since the 1980s of understanding myself and others - as previously mentioned. I have learned much from the interactions of giving numerous workshops and presentations on various topics, then continuing to share all with many others.
In this process of new lessons learned, I've followed my own advice to change some of my personal beliefs over the years. And, compelled from within by my Angel Guides to share these things, those pertinent experiences gleaned from multiple sources, regarding the process of moving forward to freeing one's Past. You may have read some of these ideas before, but I feel I've gathered them together in one book. So, I've tried to use the most basic, but straightforward learning steps for a novice that worked for me. Also included are quotes, affirmations and other supportive suggestions to inspire or cushion the difficulties of change - letting go of one's Past.
Areas of this information are repeated from various different perspectives or ways, since we sometimes need to have things written to have them sink into our brains. Each one of us can be a source of inspiration to others, so they can see the choices available for them to access, then to shine their light for more people. Know that sometimes the answers and solutions to your most dire problems are simply you making a choice to live freely, be happy, create peace, know love especially for yourselves. Take every opportunity to be in joy and access your unlimited abundance in all things - including financial. That choice shifts your energy into new frequencies, to move you out of any Karma and into the creation of self-awareness.
Your individuality, your own thoughts, beliefs and ideals are woven together as a part of the rich tapestry of Your life. Yet, it's your interconnectedness of the Universal-whole that's necessary, so there are others more experienced who stand firm and support each of you, so you don't become lost. While you may walk alone through life, every thought, breath, action and non-action sends ripples through space and time, as one soul breathes out, another breathes in, allowing the flow of life to continue. Most of us are at a different progression in our growth and so support is there to guide - direct you when you ask for Divine Assistance for clarity or direction. The choices - decisions are still yours to make, so awareness is the requirement of the day. Yes, it takes courage, but you are never alone, so do NOT allow fear to come in. These are the choices to live a more connected and awakened life, even when times get challenging. Never forget that you're human, and perfection is not expected, nor required - love yourself as you are.
The whole letting go - Moving Past Your Past - is a step process, but one that is more linear than bottom to top. In other words, it is as if we progress in a continuum, adding and deleting as we learn what works for you or doesn't, as time goes by. As the first major step - dissolving or replacing of an old belief system or your conditioned -response negative. This sometimes takes either a trauma to bring it to the forefront of the brain, or simply getting tired of repeated negative results. Emotionally, you can usually only work on one at a time, but sometimes one is directly connected to another. Once this happens, your awareness and acknowledgment needs to examine the old belief/conditioned-response - where did it come from? Why it doesn't work anymore? etc. Then, a decision has to be made as to how to replace it, and with what. Sometimes, simply going for the opposite response works for a while. Like most things subconscious, or in the brain, it abhors a vacuum and you don't want another negative thought put in there, so it may be time for something new or at least positive.
Example 1: Someone accidentally steps on your foot, you: a) say "ouch"; b) punch the person; c) apologize - as you were raised amuck stoicism, so constantly apologizing for your occupying space or taking oxygen from a more worthy person. Which response is positive?
Example 2: A close friend/relative dies in a plane crash when you are a child; you overhear mixed things that planes and flying is dangerous, so conclude if you fly you will die. You: a) never fly in a plane; b) restrict your life to what you can get to by car, train, bus; c) look at the statistics and choose a safe carrier. Simplified, but typical also.
Since some of your negative beliefs may have been with you for longer than you can remember, they are usually reviewed gingerly or one at a time, as the revelations they bring up can be painful, and embarrassing, or simply scary that you still choose to follow them. As you let go of one, there may be an opening up of others and you feel pretty good, so maybe confident to look at more misconceptions. There will be those that, as we examine them we see the hurt that created them, or the hurt we have brought on others by perpetuating them on those around us. This may slow the release process down, or even stop it for a while, as pain is no fun. Many people - especially those with the same beliefs - will tell you that leaving old sores in the Past is best, and not to open up Pandora's Box.
But there was something freeing and positive once you got over the last few revelations and eventually you may be ready to continue the process. For some it may take days, months or years and others will never be able to let go of all of their Past, or maybe just leave it for another lifetime. They may rationalize (can't live a day without a rationalization) or justify, as they have learned - grown enough for this time. Others can't wait to have more positive love and freedom come into their lives, to start living a full and joyous life. It is all a choice and part of your fulfillment of Freewill, which God/Source and the Universe has given to us, along with the Pursuit of Happiness, which we are taught is ours in the United States.
There are major steps which have to be done for any kind of realization of success; key are: Awareness, Acknowledgment, Honesty, and True Desire to have Change as part of your life. There is no timeframe for the process, as everyone's path is different. For myself, I got lost several times, took detours, back peddled and even just gave up, because I did not think I had the time or energy to put into what was needed to do it. Sometimes resuming, I could continue on, other times I had to go back several steps to get my momentum back. Often, it was the times between jobs that I could concentrate on me, since I was a workaholic, usually too stressed-out on the job.
Generally speaking, most people will only consider real life changes when they have been put through some trauma - life/death, divorce, bankruptcy, addiction wipeout, etc. It usually takes more than just an "Aha" moment, it is more like walking backwards over hot coals - you certainly didn't see that coming. Though the rewards vary from person to person, most will say as I do: I am Now a new person everyday - free and clear of yesterday - if I choose to let it all go. Whoever I thought I was yesterday, I do not have to be that person today. The Past is only a blip - take from it what you need to learn, or want to remember and let the rest of it go. Its negative weight truly increases everyday, that baggage you hold onto, or any mistakes that you think you may have done. There are no mistakes, if you have learned something positive from it, expect to not repeat it, then let it all go. Have no regrets, that's what forgiveness of Self is for. You don't need that weight pulling you down. Letting go of the Past is Your own powerful act. Purging, releasing and alignment can cause stress, but at least there is something accomplished when it's done.
Note: Pride is a good, positive thing, ego is a negative control.
Exercise: Frequently exercise your Deep Breathing, so it is important to understand how to properly do the process. Practice by standing up or lying down, to know you are getting the full results. You can later do it sitting, when you know you are doing it correctly. Place your palm of either hand over your bellybutton. Spread your fingers wide open, so your thumb is almost vertical to your little finger and perpendicular to your middle finger. In this way, your Solar Plexus and diaphragm are just above your thumb, so what you are looking to feel is the movement of your breath. Start with taking an 'In Breath' as to a slow count of five, slight hold and an 'Out Breath' count of five, also. If you did not feel your thumb or little finger move, continue to practice increasing the number count until you do feel movement. Like any daily-practiced exercise, you should with time be able to reach a count of ten, going in and ten coming out. This is one of the healthiest things that you can do for your body! Google to see what all your deep breathing does for you.
Now, to get the full experience of the Deep Breathing, you add your Key Words - what you want to go into your body - the positive, and what you want to come out of it - the negative. So, you might start with - "Positive in - ten count - Negative out;" move on to "Love in Fear/Anger/Ego out;" "Healing in - Pain/Disease out;" "Abundance in - Lack out," etc. Eventually, you will learn to direct the Breath to all different parts of your body to release and let go of pain, or send White or Golden Light/Love to your heart or other areas of distress or pain. The Breath is your personal-power energy-source and one physical thing that connects you to God/Source. It is also your own personal, unconditional love of yourself, because no one can do it for you.
Note: If you smoke, you will not be able to receive the full power of your breath, so you might want to consider quitting. NO, it's not easy.
Positive thinking is acknowledging each of your individual feelings, and not just repeating rote affirmations to soothe over what you're feeling underneath it all. To really change them for the positive action to take place, you must examine them and, most importantly, where they came from. As you process each step, stay with a feeling until you know it has begun to change. If it does not improve fully, then go ahead to begin the next step. Deep-seated negative feelings are usually not resolved or dissolved in the first round of the removal process. Sometimes you need to take stronger or repetitive action, but don't give up or ignore your feelings, either way. They are your internal-compass of letting you know that you are going in the right direction for positive changes. Just try it again another day.
Awareness: Many of the following exercises have to do with releasing the ego, as it houses and controls your identity as a human being. Especially, it controls your reactions when you experience an emotional pain - someone lets you down, hurts you, or reflects you so accurately, that it allows you to truly see your own flaws. This will crack, or destroy your idea of you that your ego has surely created and protected, so it hurts you to your core. This pain usually hurts deeper and longer than any physical pain. Part of the whole process in this book of releasing 'yourSelf' from your past, is to teach your ego to be more flexible, not so controlling of all that you are, or want to be. The ego is a necessary part of you, but it does keep you from playing well with others, or trying new things to expand your experiences.
Your ego can be like an overprotective-mother, smothering you with a facade, that says over and over again that you are perfect and don't need to change. It is Not concerned with the fact that you are Not happy the way your are. It is simply and totally against change of any kind, but especially the kind that limits its control of you. Which is what freedom and independence does. Never forget that this is step process, so earlier on your Spiritual path, you will probably expend a great deal of energy covering your eyes to avoid seeing your deepest problems. While further along your journey, you will genuinely seek to see the Truth wherever you find it, and work through it to release it, as it will set you free. You will also have learned to do this without judging it, or punishing yourself for having had it within you.
* * *
Here is a test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't. Richard Bach
We all have a light inside; and if we don't let it shine, we might not influence someone who is more shy to shine theirs.
A New You - Part #2
Exercise: Make a list of all of your good points - skills, talents, qualities, characteristics, even your physical ones - smile, eyes, etc. There must be at least ten good things about you that others have mentioned or complimented you on having. Keep this list, not only to reread when you're down or questioning it all, but also to add to it, as you grow and accept yourself more. Next, make a list of friends, close acquaintances and group them: Close, very good, good, email-phone, work, social network and even family. Rank them with stars - decide which ones are supportive of your changes and which are not, or you're not sure either way. You will have to decide soon, which you will have to drop, or really limit your involvement with, if they are negative toward your growth and new changes.
Sometimes your letting go will be very difficult, other times they will make the decision themselves and release you. People come into your life as lessons - for you or them. When the lesson is learned, they often leave or you do. Keep this original list to note the changes, as well additions, since you will be bringing more positive, like-minded people into your life as you change and grow. These are your Support-people, not people who want to rescue you, or think they can do the changes for you. How much, if anything, you want to share with them about your life-changes is totally up to you, but to begin with, less-is-better. Be prepared, some will respond as you expect, others will even surprise you - totally.
Note: As said, Pride is a good positive thing, ego is a negative controlling thing. The ego sometimes feels that it must be worn like battle scars, or metals you've won for surviving. No one actually lives in Disneyland, and it is not a Disney world. Why waste your time repeatedly commiserating with others, as to who had the worst or toughest childhood or past. It is only the ego needing recognition and people being stuck in their Drama-Lives. Stoicism, rescuing and martyrdom are not usually seen in the same company as happiness, joy, whereas passion for life is. When one is truly passionate about life, one lives in the moment for the enjoyment of today. The past should be like fallen drops of rain. Letting go of them serves their purpose of feeding the Earth. To try to catch them in your hand is futile and against the natural process. It is as sleep refreshes the body, lets go of each day in your dreams and you awake a new person on a new day. Letting go of the past also gives you a chance for love to come in - all kinds of love. But if you are filled up with your past, no new anything can come into your mind, heart or body - so no new creative thoughts, ideas, experiences, friends or love.
Life is meant to flow into you and through you, bringing new things to make your life grow and expand, so you can learn how to fulfill your destiny. When you're holding onto your Past, it's as if you are shielded by an impenetrable encasement. More than anything, it is the ego and its fear of change, that keeps you sealed up with your Past. The question is - who is the stronger one - your soul and your mind or your ego? Breaking free of the past is really letting go of your ego's control - which is fear-based. Nothing related to the ego is truth, for it is not related to unconditional love or giving.
Some may see or believe there is love related to the ego, but it is only a negative perception that is fed like a facade. Those ugly aspects that some think are related to love: control, obsession, possession, objectifying, are things that dehumanize another to simply boost the ego's power. When the heart is open, the love flows through - giving and receiving limitlessly. But the ego keeps the heart shrouded, saying it is protecting it from pain, hurt, abuse and those undeserving of its love feelings. Yet this is a protection a truly, open heart does not need, for unconditional love flows free, without emotional fear of any of these things, as it is pure, positive energy. When living with an open heart, it is embracing truth as Light. When the heart is open there is no lack, as there is no fear. With an open heart there is a giving-love with acceptance. We cannot truly call it love without this unconditional acceptance as you are, not "I will love you if ..." Something many of us had in the past, from whomever may have said that they loved us.
Excerpted from "Move Past Your Past"
Copyright © 2018 Alice Parker.
Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
About Me - My Background, xv,
How to Use this Book, xxi,
Ten Rules of Being Human, xxv,
Changing Yourself - Part #1, 1,
A New You - Part #2, 7,
Anger - Part #3, 10,
Open Heart - #4, 13,
Our Ego - #5, 17,
Breathe Deeply - Part #6, 21,
Letting Go - Part #7, 24,
Unload Stuff - Part #8, 28,
Human Weight - Part #9, 32,
Dogma - Part #10, 37,
Forgiveness - Part #11, 41,
Awareness - Part #12, 45,
More Lessons - Part #13, 49,
Stay Positive - Part #14, 53,
Old Belief Systems - Part #15, 57,
Destiny - Part #16, 61,
Self-Sabotage - Part #17, 65,
Judgment - Part #18, 69,
Creative Life - Part #19, 73,
Listen - Part #20, 77,
Ask & Receive - Part #21, 81,
Vibrational Energy - Part #22, 85,
New Friendships - Part #23, 89,
Doubt & Guilt - Part #24, 93,
Side Affects - Part #25, 97,
Ego-Drama - Part #26, 102,
Love - Energy - Part #27, 106,
Talk About It - Part #28, 110,
Perceptions - Part #29, 114,
Worthiness - Part #30, 118,
Situational Awareness - Part #31, 122,
Soul Journey - Part #32, 126,
Over Analyzing - Part #33, 130,
Being More Aware - Part #34, 134,
Preferences - Part #35, 138,
Freedom - Independence - Part #36, 142,
Sabotaged Decisions - Part #37, 146,
Again, Self-Sabotage - Part #38, 150,
A True You - Part #39, 154,
Fear and Pain - Part #40, 158,
Emotions and Feelings - Part #41, 162,
Awakening - Part #42, 166,
Rescuing Others - Part #43, 171,
Love As A Healer - Part #44, 175,
Positive Attraction - Part #45, 180,
Being Present - Part #46, 184,
Choosing Drama - Part #47, 188,
Loss - Part #48, 193,
Who Are You? - Part #49, 196,
The Change Process - Part #50, 200,
Change & Pain - Part #51, 205,
Past Fears - Part #52, 210,
New Experiences - Part #53, 214,
Victim Story - Part #54, 218,
Denial, Delusion and Blame - Part #55, 222,
Jealousy-Resentment - Part #56, 226,
Acceptance of All - Part #57, 230,
Responsibility - Accountability - Part #58, 234,
Growth Assessment - Part #59, 239,
Thoughts, Affirmations & Musings - Part #60, 242,
Love - Hate - Part #61, 247,
Being of Service - Part #62, 251,
Transformation - Part #63, 255,
More Manifesting - Part #64, 260,
Past Pain - Part #65, 266,
Karma Law - Part #66, 271,
Soul Groups - Part #67, 275,
Past Lives - Part #68, 281,
Chaos Theory - Part #69, 285,
Simple Truths - Part #70, 289,
Epilogue - What I've Learned So Far, 293,
Appendix - Clearing Exercises, 297,
Breathing - Visualizing Exercises, 297,
Abundance Process, 299,
Chakras & Basic Information, 303,
The Twelve Universal Laws, 307,
Dowsing and Spirituality, Natural Essential Oils, 313,
References - Websites, etc, 316,