My Quest for a Child

by Lisa Dixit

Overview

Lisa wants to have a child; it has been her dream since she was a little girl. Although she was diagnosed at a young age with polycystic ovarian syndrome, a hormone condition that can lead to infertility, she married young and believed then that she had enough time to seek fertility treatments to become pregnant.

At thirty-six, after years of trying and failing to conceive, she decides the time had come to get aggressive with her treatments. She attempts fertility medications and various treatments, but to no avail. Her medical conditions would not allow her to become pregnant and carry a baby.

Desperate, Lisa and her husband, Al, elect to try in vitro fertilization—only to discover that she has uterine cancer. She has a hysterectomy to save her life, but now having her own child suddenly becomes an impossible dream.

Then, Lisa and Al learn about the possibility of using a surrogate mother. Lisa happens to catch a television show about a clinic in India that focused on IVF and surrogacy with success. Using this information, their quest for parenthood truly begins.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781450288439
Publisher:	iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date:	02/18/2011
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
File size:	522 KB

Read an Excerpt

My Quest for a Child

---

By Lisa Dixit

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2011 Lisa Dixit
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4502-8842-2

---

Chapter One

"My Childhood"

* * *

When I was a young girl I always thought that I would grow up get married have a couple of children, live in a nice house with a white picket fence. I think that would be any girls dream. I grew up with both of my parents and at the age of five I lost my mother. She was thirty years old and had two beautiful children my brother and I. She was too young to die. My brother is three years older than me. My grandmother on my Dad's side ended up taking care of us. I cherish those moments with her. I remember my grandmother singing to me "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine" ... while rocking me to sleep. After a few years my grandmother passed away.

My Aunt Wendy and Uncle John then stepped in to take care of my brother and I. My Aunt would teach me things that my mother would have taught me, like manners at the dinner table, how to brush my teeth and even taught me how to braid. My Aunt and Uncle did not have children so I guess they had fun spending time with us and then going back to their wonderful marriage. I admired their relationship; they were so much in love, even till today they are madly in love.

A few years later my Dad remarried; she had two girls of her own and they had three girls together. So there are seven children in our family. My brother is the oldest, then me, then my two step sisters, and finally my three half sisters, so I have five younger sisters.

At first I got along with my step-mother but when I hit my teens, we did not get along at all.

Both of my parents are deaf, my step-mom as well. Being deaf you have a tendency to talk louder than hearing people and I would chuckle to myself when people would try to talk to my dad by talking really loud, I felt like telling them "He's not going to hear you no matter how loud you talk." I know they didn't know any better but I still found it comical. We had to grow up very fast. It was an adjustment we had to make as a family. My parents were very good at lip-reading so most of the time they would converse by lip-reading. I remember one time when my step-mom and I were arguing, I said a bad word under my breath, and I got caught because she had read my lips. I would have to be careful next time.

My brother was dating this girl who lived down the street from us, she was around my age. She would come over to hang out with my brother. She and I would talk about what was happening between my step-mom and I and she asked me if I wanted to stay the week-end with her just to get away from there to get a break.

My week-end stay at my brother's girlfriend's house turned into a permanent stay. I would now live with her and her family, her mom Linda and Dad and their other daughter.

My brother had also moved out of our house and moved in with his girlfriend's grandparents who lived right behind where I was living. He ended up going to college and became an Engineer. I finished High School and graduated. I missed growing up with my half-sisters and step-sisters.

I wanted to go to college but I didn't know what to study. I was interested in criminal law so I went to college and started to study criminal law. I guess I wasn't ready for college because I dropped out after only a short time. I do regret that

Chapter Two

"Love & Marriage"

* * *

I was now twenty-years old and living in New York City. I was living with a roommate and decided to go to Cosmetology school and get my license, so that's what I did. My first job was working in a salon in Bergdorf Goodman as an assistant, I didn't like it there very much the people were way too snooty. I then decided to go to the Trump Tower "Pierre Michel Salon" and got a job there. I loved that job; it was a fun place to work because everyone was so cool to work with. I stayed there for almost three years.

The Trump Tower is where I met my prince charming, I was working in the salon and my husband-to-be had just moved from Bombay to NY and was working in the restaurant below me in the Trump Tower. When I met him I fell in love with his charming British accent. He was a chivalrous gentleman, very rare to find in New York City.

I felt something about him that I had never felt with anyone else. We started dating; actually we were very good friends and then became lovers. Our first date he took me to see the Nutcracker at Lincoln Center. Within one year we were married, I was 22 and he was 29.

We were actually married twice. The first time we got married it was a little rushed. My husband told his parents who lived in Bombay that he wanted to marry me. His mother consulted with a Pundit, who is like an astrologer about us getting married or not. The pundit would compare our astrology charts and luckily for me the Pundit said that we were very compatible for one another. I would be a "Rock" for him. The Pundit said we were to be married on a certain day, and that day happened to have been only a few days away. So we decided to get married at the courthouse and that is what we did.

A very funny thing happened that day. We had to bring a witness to the courthouse where the Judge was to marry us, so Al brought one of his friends. We walk into the Judge's chamber and right away she looks at me and says "I can't marry you." I asked why, and she replied "You must either wear pants or a skirt."

It was a hot day in June and I was wearing shorts and a black tee-shirt. Al was wearing khaki's and a matching black tee-shirt. My witness was wearing pants with a tee-shirt, so I was thinking what to do and decided to grab our witness and go in the bathroom and switch my shorts for pants. Thank God I fit into them. I came back to the Judge now wearing pants and she saw our friend wearing my shorts. We all thought that was pretty funny, even the Judge. I knew we had to be married on this day; I couldn't come back another day. The pundit said it had to be today.

I did want a traditional wedding with a dress and flowers and people celebrating, so we decided to get married again in September in my backyard.

My wedding day was perfect, it was a bright sunny day in September, and I was still working in the salon in the Trump Tower Salon so I didn't have to worry about my hair, make-up and nails, I had it all done there, they were nice enough to do all that for me. I got dressed into my wedding gown at the salon and was treated like a V.I.P.

My limousine was waiting downstairs for me in front of the Trump Tower. When I was walking out of the Trump Tower toward my limousine, I was in my wedding gown and I felt like a movie star because everyone on the street was staring at me. I had strangers taking pictures of me wondering who I was.

My mom Linda did a very gracious thing by arranging my wedding outside in her back yard. She had all the tables and food set around the pool. We had a DJ and photographer as well. There was a double deck outside the back of the house, and that is where I would walk down the isle, down the stairs. It was perfect, just perfect.

There was one major disaster at my wedding that nobody knew but me but we worked it out. My husband had picked up our wedding flowers, including my bouquet, before arriving at the house in his limo. After dropping my husband off, the limousine guy forgot to remove the flowers in the back and left. We tried to call the limousine guy but he wouldn't come back. So I had no bouquet or any flowers that I had picked out and paid for. My mom Linda arranged some flowers from her yard, and everything was fine.

We waited a few years before we wanted to start a family, thinking we had time, looking back we didn't have time at all. We were a young couple, enjoying life being newlyweds and just having fun living in New York City.

When I first started getting my period my Gynecologist diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. He put me on the pill to regulate my period and also help me with the immense pain that came with it. What happens with Polycystic Ovaries is, the developing follicles that are normally ovulated each cycle actually remain trapped inside the ovary, after a while these follicles will swell with fluid and turn into cysts.

Some women will produce high numbers of egg follicles and these follicles tend to contain many eggs, but the eggs are usually poor quality. This condition is one of the causes of Infertility and is a hormone problem. I was on the pill for quite a few years and now thought I would go off the pill and see if I could get pregnant on my own, so that's what I did.

I was off the pill for at least six years and never got pregnant, I just had painful menstruations. I had to now seriously think about getting pregnant, mainly because of my age. I didn't want to be an old mom, I didn't know if I would have the energy to raise a child, like I did ten years ago. But God willing if he wishes to bless me with a child, I am sure he will give me the energy and strength I would need for my miracle baby. I have wanted a child since I was very young, but now I have realized that it may take me some time to get pregnant. My Gynecologist told me that I would probably need Fertility medication to get pregnant although there are many women with this condition who get pregnant no problem. We tried to get pregnant on our own but nothing was happening.

Finally in 1999 we went to see a Fertility Doctor to see what options we had to get pregnant. He told me I had Polycystic Ovaries, which I already knew and said I would have a hard time getting pregnant on my own. I would have to take Fertility medications.

My doctor thought that I should try IVF but at this time my insurance company was not covering it. The cost can run you about $10,000 for one try. We were not financially able to pay for this on our own and we knew that it would probably take a few tries before we got pregnant.

In 2000 we moved from New York to New Jersey.

Chapter Three

"Early Attempts at Pregnancy"

* * *

I found a new Gynecologist in New Jersey and had my check up done. I told her I wanted to get pregnant but was told I needed some help. She advised me to try this Fertility medication Clomid. The purpose of this drug is to stimulate egg development in the ovaries. It basically causes the woman to produce more FSH and LH.

There are many side effects to this drug, one is it can dry up the cervical fluid that is important for the sperm to transport through the cervix. The other side effect is that it can cause the second phase of the cycle to be abnormally short, preventing an egg from being able to implant into the uterus. You may also experience some bloating. And lastly; the pregnancy can result in multiples, which I didn't mind.

I tried three months of this medication, the first month I started with the lowest dose, which was 50mg. and the third month I used the highest dose which is 150mg. Every month I would pray to God to bless me with a child, even twins. Taking this medication you have about a 6% chance of having twins. It is about seven times greater than the twinning rate among women who are not on this drug. Triplets are rare, but it can happen. Month one I would take a pregnancy test and its negative, month two and three the same, negative.

My Gynecologist said I would have to see a Fertility Doctor to try other methods, so she gave me a name of a good Doctor. His name is Dr. Lesorgen. My husband and I make an appointment to see him. We go over what I have done and he tells us what we should do next.

He suggested In-Vitro fertilization, but we wanted to know if there was anything else we could try first and he said Yes, I.U.I which is Intra-uterine insemination, that is when the Doctor uses a catheter to insert the sperm directly into the uterus. I wish now that I had listened to him and tried the In-Vitro process but I decided on the I.U.I first. I know in my heart that what is to be will be.

I remember a funny but miraculous story I had heard about a woman who took her fertility medications the wrong way. She was scheduled for IVF with donor eggs. While preparing for the embryo transfer she had received an intramuscular injection of 100 mg. of progesterone on the day of the donor's retrieval. The doctor gave her two 100 mg of oral progesterone tablets and told her to take one (by mouth!) each day prior to the transfer. But unbeknownst to the doctor or office staff, she did not understand the instructions. Instead of swallowing the tablets, she inserted them into her vagina.

The doctor had no choice but to transfer the embryos anyway, even though her progesterone level was only 5.0 ng/ml rather than the desired 15 or more ng/ml. amazingly three out of the five embryos implanted and she became pregnant with triplets, unbelievable.

The I.U.I. process has to be timed right because the insemination has to take place right before and after ovulation. So this is what I did, I was so excited because I really thought this would work. I thought logically how could it not work? You are injecting the sperm directly to the uterus, bypassing the cervix and fallopian tubes, where a lot of pregnancies fail. I was taking fertility medications injecting myself every day for this, to produce more eggs. Again there were chances of having multiples usually twins. I always wanted twins, not more than that though, but whatever God wanted to give me I would be grateful for. So I was so excited about this.

Before we did the I.U.I Dr. Lesorgen wanted to do a HSG test that would check to see if my fallopian tubes were blocked. I make an appointment for this test not knowing that it would be painful. He injected a special dye into my uterus through the cervix that then became visible on x-ray photographs.

This was just one of the many tests he had to do. It was a painful test to take but thank God mine were ok, my problem was with the Polycystic Ovaries you produce many eggs but a lot of them do not mature. I would never want to take that test again, they should at least knock you out for it, but they don't.

Going through all of this really takes a toll on you, so you have to be strong and determined as I was. There were times when I would leave Dr. Lesorgen's office and just sit in my car and put on my favorite CD Alicia Keys and just cry and ask God, "Why is it so difficult for me to get pregnant? There are many women with my condition who get pregnant no problem."

We waited the necessary time to find out if we were pregnant from the IUI attempt, but unfortunately the result was negative. This news only told me that it would not be easy for me to get pregnant.

My husband had been seeing an acupuncturist for his back pain, and I had heard that it may help in conceiving, so I decided to try that at this time. I had gone for three sessions. I go in and see this nice Chinese Doctor. He tells me to lye down and he proceeds to put many acupuncture needles in my abdomen and on various places on my body. The procedure itself is quite relaxing.

When I was leaving the office I asked the receptionist "Why am I feeling so good?" She replied "It's the dopamine being released in your brain." I wish I could feel this way all the time I told her. The sessions are not covered by my insurance company and are quite costly so I felt at this time that I had to get more aggressive medically to conceive so I decide to discontinue my acupuncture sessions and go back to my Fertility Doctor.

Chapter Four

"Preparing for IVF"

* * *

It's April 2008 so we go back to the Fertility Doctor. Because now I am 40yrs old and I knew it was now or never. The sad thing about this is, a few years ago when I wanted to do In-Vitro I had insurance but it would not cover-In-Vitro.

Just the medications alone are very expensive. We didn't have the money to do it then. Now I have insurance that would cover four tries of In-Vitro and part of the surrogacy process. I was ecstatic! I thought at my age that I would most probably need a couple of tries. Dr. Lesorgen did some blood work on me and to my surprise my blood work showed that I may have Hepatitis C.

I wouldn't be able to have a baby with this condition. This was a total setback for me. I was told I had to see an Infectious Disease Doctor about it. I had just been to my primary Doctor one month prior to this and my liver enzymes were fine. But I needed medical clearance from this Doctor before we could go any further with the IVF.

(Continues...)

---

Excerpted from My Quest for a Child by Lisa Dixit Copyright © 2011 by Lisa Dixit. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

---