Necessary Mourning: Healing the Loss of a Parent through Jewish Ritual

by Dahlia Abraham-Klein

Overview

Necessary Mourning is written in an eloquent account of the traditional customs that are put into practice when a Jewish person dies providing a moving chronicle of the loss of Abraham-Klein's own father. This unique narrative crosses the boundary between psychology, spirituality and traditional Jewish ritual. Not only describing but also explaining the psychological significance behind Jewish practices and traditions, as Abraham-Klein moves through the five stages of mourning where at each stage it opens the door to a wider world and a broader understanding of life thorugh touching death. The richly informative personal account deepens our understanding of the customs and traditions that inform the Jewish psychological response to death.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780692788011
Publisher:	Shamashi Press
Publication date:	09/26/2016
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	136
File size:	326 KB

About the Author

Dahlia Abraham-­‐Klein is a published cookbook author, "Silk Road Vegetarian: Vegan, Vegetarian and Gluten Free Recipes for the Mindful Cook" (Tuttle, 2014) and "Spiritual Kneading through the Jewish Months: Building the Sacred though Challah" (Shamashi, 2015). She has been conducting Spiritual Kneading Rosh Chodesh challah classes privately and at synagogues of all denominations, teens and adults in her Long Island, NY community since 2010.

Table of Contents

CONTENTS Prologue The Soul Slowly Seeps Out Reflections on my Father's Death Preface What is Death? Jewish Ritual The Five Stages to Mourning The Case for Mourning Unfinished Mourning Grief and Illness Grief and Relationships Stage One: Deep Distress A Soul Wavering Writing the Eulogy The Sanctity of the Deceased Body Watching the Body Psalms of Comfort Expediting the Burial Preparing the Body for Burial The Funeral The Burial Rending of the Garments Gravesite Stage Two: The Seven Days of Intense Mourning Arranging the Shiva House Memorial Candle Low Stools Mirrors Unlocked Front Door Photograph of Beloved Meals at the Shiva House The Meal of Consolation The Mourner is not the Host Dressing and Living the Week Work Grooming Shoes Sexual Relations The Sitting Week Silence Healing through Storytelling The Sabbath The Mourner's Prayer Kaddish Transliteration Translation The Fellowship of the Mourner's Prayer Getting Up from Intense Mourning After the Week Stage Three: The 30 Days The 30th Day Spouse Comes out of Mourning Spouse Searching for Purpose Stage Four: The One-Year Period The Year to Reflect Stage Five: Death Anniversary Unveiling Washing Hands at the Cemetery Gathering Customs on the Day of the Death Anniversary Annual Communal Remembrances When is Yizkor Recited? Memorial Candle Grief and Going Forward Glossary Resources Acknowledgements Index

Editorial Reviews

"With enormous sensitivity, compassion and wisdom, Dahlia Abraham-Klein gives us a book from her heart and her mind: a guide to all of us whose hearts are broken by the death of someone we love. Drawing deeply from Judaism's religious practices and teachings, she guides us in our mourning and shows us paths to loving and inspiring remembrance." Susannah Heschel, Eli Black Professor of Jewish Studies, Dartmouth College "There are those of us who believe in God, and those who may not. Many have feelings for our traditions, but as a habit, may not practice or observe them. Except when we need to. Day to day ritual may not hold meaning for all. But at times of lifecycle events, be they joyous or sad, the presence of traditions and practices lend guidance and comfort. Dahlia has beautifully and intimately shared her journey with us, providing a heartfelt and understandable guide, filled with her personal feelings and our precious traditions to help you on your journey when mourning the loss of a parent. I too felt profound loss after the death of my father. The Jewish rituals and prescribed periods of mourning helped me tremendously in my journey of acceptance and healing. I recommend that each of you, whether or not you have experienced the loss of a parent, read this book. It will help you find comfort and help you to comfort others. May God comfort you all, with all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." Mindy Moline Botbol Managing Funeral Director Shalom Memorial Funeral Home Arlington Heights, Illinois "The death of loved ones is always a profound and wrenching experience, and all cultures recognize the mourner's need to grieve and for both the individual and community to express respect for the dead. Jewish tradition includes numerous practices, rituals, laws, and customs that serve the quasi-therapeutic purpose of helping the bereaved to mourn and the community to heal and move beyond its loss. As Dahlia Abraham-Klein makes clear, in this regard, the functions of psychotherapy and religion, and their incisive understanding of human relations, overlap and intertwine. The genius of the Jewish tradition is in providing such rituals as Shiva in which the individual and community mourn the immediacy of the lost love one, or such commemorative community rituals as Yizkor, memorial prayer, which normalizes and universalizes the grieving process while imbuing it with deep symbolic meaning. Necessary Mourning simply and elegantly walks the reader through these meaningful rituals and customs, not to romanticize or whitewash suffering and death, but rather to affirm life and the continuity of generations and their linkages. The Bible tells us to "choose life," which we can only do when we acknowledge grief and mortality." Lewis Aron, Ph.D. is the Director, New York University Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis.

From the Publisher