Nothing Changes Until You Do: A Guide to Self-Compassion and Getting Out of Your Own Way

by Mike Robbins

Overview

Best-selling author Mike Robbins had a life that many little boys dream of. Drafted by the New York Yankees directly out of high school, Mike decided instead to postpone his professional baseball career until he finished college. After a successful stint at Stanford, he began life in the minor leagues as a pitcher with the Kansas City Royals organization, where he played for three years until an injury benched him for good. This devastating disappointment changed his life in wonderful ways that he could have never imagined. He now teaches and speaks around the world about teamwork, emotional intelligence, and the value of appreciation and authenticity.

In Nothing Changes Until You Do, Mike’s third book, he looks at one of the most important and challenging aspects of life—our relationship with ourselves. Even the most successful person struggles with this delicate relationship, which has created an epidemic of self-criticism, self-doubt, and thinking that our value is directly connected to the external world—our jobs, our finances, our appearance, our accomplishments, and so on. Through 40 short essays, Mike shows readers that none of this is true, and brings to light a new way to look at life. With themes spanning from the importance of trusting yourself to the benefits of vulnerability to the strength inherent in embracing powerlessness and change, Mike will help readers get out of their own way, so they can live a good life. He shows that with a little self-compassion and a healthy dose of self-acceptance, anyone can turn away from the negatives that manifest because of a critical self-perception—things like unkindness, addictions, sabotaged relationships, unnecessary drama, and more.

Making peace with ourselves is fundamental to happiness. The suggestions, insights, and reminders of this book will allow readers to have more compassion, more acceptance, and more love for themselves—thus giving them access to more compassion, more acceptance, and more love for the people (and everything else) in their lives.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781401944643
Publisher:	Hay House Inc.
Publication date:	05/12/2015
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	240
Sales rank:	437,571
Product dimensions:	5.30(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.90(d)

About the Author

Mike Robbins is the author of three books, including the brand new title Nothing Changes Until You Do: A Guide to Self-Compassion and Getting Out of Your Own Way, which will be published by Hay House (May 6, 2014). He’s a sought-after speaker and seminar leader who speaks to groups of all kinds throughout the world. Some of his clients include Google, Gap, eBay, Wells Fargo, Twitter, Charles Schwab, and the San Francisco Giants. Since 2008 he’s been a regular contributor to the Huffington Post and his books have been translated into 14 different languages. Mike and his work have been featured on ABC News, the Oprah Radio network, and in the Washington Post. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his wife, Michelle, and their daughters Samantha and Rosie. Learn more about Mike at Mike-Robbins.com.

Table of Contents

Introduction xi

Chapter 1 Focus on What Truly Matters 1

Chapter 2 Remember that a Bad Day for the Ego Is a Good Day for the Soul 7

Chapter 3 Nothing Changes Until You Do 11

Chapter 4 Remember that You're Valuable Just Because You're You 15

Chapter 5 Be Gentle with Yourself 21

Chapter 6 Ask for Help 25

Chapter 7 Don't Get Caught in the Trap of Comparison 31

Chapter 8 Be Real, Not Right 37

Chapter 9 Love Yourself (and the Rest Will Follow) 43

Chapter 10 Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously 49

Chapter 11 Remember How Strong You Are 55

Chapter 12 Just Show Up 59

Chapter 13 Give Yourself Permission to Make Mistakes .65

Chapter 14 Ask for What You Want 69

Chapter 15 Make Peace with Your Body and Appearance 75

Chapter 16 Trust Your Gut 81

Chapter 17 Remember that It's Not the Circumstances, It's You 87

Chapter 18 Appreciate People 91

Chapter 19 Be Aware of the Imposter Syndrome 97

Chapter 20 Give Yourself Permission to Cry 101

Chapter 21 Swing Hard (Just in Case You Hit It) 105

Chapter 22 Embrace Powerlessness 109

Chapter 23 Be Willing to Talk about Difficult Things 113

Chapter 24 Practice Gratitude 119

Chapter 25 Have the Courage to Be Vulnerable 123

Chapter 26 Trust Yourself 129

Chapter 27 Remember that You Are Much More than What You Do 133

Chapter 28 Roll with Life 139

Chapter 29 Speak Your Truth (Even if Your Voice Shakes) 143

Chapter 30 Don't Sweat the Small Stuff 149

Chapter 31 Be Easily Amazed 155

Chapter 32 Allow Things to Be Easy 159

Chapter 33 Accept Yourself 163

Chapter 34 Be Real and Compassionate about Money 167

Chapter 35 Stop Should-ing on Yourself 175

Chapter 36 Take Good Care of You 179

Chapter 37 Focus on What You Can Control 183

Chapter 38 Forgive Yourself 187

Chapter 39 Let Your Light Shine 191

Chapter 40 Live like You're Going to Die (Because You Are) 197

Appendix 203

Resources 207

Acknowledgments 211

About the Author 215

Editorial Reviews

In Nothing Changes Until You Do, Mike Robbins shares ageless wisdom that is far too often overlooked because of its seeming simplicity. Don’t be fooled! This book cover should be stamped in gold lettering: ‘Contents 100% authentic.’ Breathe deeply as these compassionate teachings open your heart.”
—Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Life Visioning

“Nothing Changes Until You Do is a powerful book that will open your mind and touch your heart. Mike Robbins’s inspiring and down-to-earth wisdom can guide you to be more compassionate, kind, and loving toward yourself and everyone else in your life.”
—Marci Shimoff, New York Times best-selling author of Happy for No Reason

“This book is filled with quick, compelling, and actionable ideas. Mike Robbins uses his personal experience to help all of us see how we can take small steps toward a better life. Reading this book will give you a new way to think about how you interact with the world.”
—Tom Rath, New York Times best-selling author of Eat Move Sleep and StrengthsFinder 2.0

“Nothing Changes Until You Do focuses on an important and often overlooked aspect of compassion . . . having compassion for oneself. Mike Robbins’s approach is both heartfelt and practical, which is why he continues to be such a popular speaker at Google.”
—Chade-Meng Tan, New York Times best-selling author of Search Inside Yourself, and Google’s Jolly Good Fellow

“Mike Robbins has a unique ability to open people’s minds, touch their hearts, and teach valuable lessons about life and business. I have personally benefited from his work, as have so many of the people on my team.”
—Jack Calhoun, president of Banana Republic

“I’ve had the great pleasure to witness Mike grow as a family man and as an author. As a mentor, years ago my late husband, Richard Carlson, passed a torch to Mike whom he loved like a younger brother. Mike offers such wisdom and heart in Nothing Changes Until You Do. These pages will thoughtfully show you how to live like he does—authentically happy and grateful for every day.”
—Kristine Carlson, co-author to the #1 New York Times best-selling Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff book series

“Mike Robbins rocks . . . he’s definitely one of my ‘spiritual running buddies.’ Nothing Changes Until You Do is a beautiful book filled with wisdom that is both deep and accessible at the same time. By reading this book you’ll experience more kindness, love, and acceptance for yourself and others.”
—Gabrielle Bernstein, New York Times best-selling author of May Cause Miracles

“Mike Robbins’s wisdom and insight are so important in both business and life. Self-compassion, as Mike reminds us in Nothing Changes Until You Do, is essential to everything we do.”
—Chip Conley, founder of Joie de Vivre Hotels and New York Times best-selling author of Peak

“Mike Robbins lives his message. He is truly as kind, wise, generous, and joyful as he teaches us to be in Nothing Changes Until You Do—and that’s why I trust him. This guy is onto something. I don’t want to just read more of him; I want to be more like him.”
—Glennon Doyle Melton, New York Times best-selling of Carry On, Warrior and creator of Momastery.com

“Mike Robbins is a master at teaching us how to become the best version of ourselves. I highly recommend you read this book and let it inspire you to be a better you so you can change the world for the better.”
—Jon Gordon, author of The Energy Bus

“There is no shortage of self-help books on the market. What makes Nothing Changes Until You Do different is Mike Robbins’s one-of-a-kind talent for combining the power of story with a deep understanding of human motivation and a disarming vulnerability that renders his essays at once profoundly wise and yet universally accessible. Mike’s gift is his ability to convey transformative universal truths through authentic stories that connect with readers through shared emotional experiences. Readers who want to benefit from the wisdom of contemporary philosophy along with the joy and fun of personal reflection will love this book.”
—Eric Severson, senior vice president of Global Talent Solutions for Gap Inc.

“Nothing Changes Until You Do is a sweet and wise book written by a sweet and wise man. Full of refreshing insight and gentle wisdom, this book reveals its secrets as Mike reveals his compassionate humanity. Easy to read,easy to relate to, and easy to inspire.”
—Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good and director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project

“Mike Robbins is a coach of the first order. If you’re looking for an honest, down-to-earth, and practical approach to bring out what is best inside yourself, read Nothing Changes Until You Do—you won’t be disappointed!”
—Tim Ryan, U.S. Congressman from Ohio and author of A Mindful Nation

“Mike Robbins is amazing! The stories and ideas contained in the pages of this beautiful book are infused with authenticity and awareness. Reading this book is a gift for your soul.”
—Lynne Twist, co-founder of the Pachamama Alliance and author of The Soul of Money

“Mike Robbins is the real deal. He’s honest and vulnerable, courageous and wise. He writes about real life, his personal highs and lows. By sharing himself so openly, he brings usback to ourselves, to our own life, and to what really matters most.”
—Robert Holden, author of Shift Happens! and Loveability

"Mike Robbins is a gifted storyteller. The stories, ideas, and insights he shares in Nothing Changes Until You Do are important and impactful. Like when he has come in to speak to my team at Google, Mike’s wisdom is benefi cial in both business and in life.”
—Alan Moss, vice president of U.S. sales for Google

“With stirring prose and focus, Mike Robbins will empower you with the latest wisdom on self-compassion and kindness. Read Nothing Changes Until You Do.It will change your life and the lives of the people around you.”
—Dacher Keltner, Ph.D., professor of psychology at UC Berkeley and author of Born to Be Good

“Mike Robbins is a great author, speaker, and friend. We have known each other for more than 20 years and I’ve seen fi rsthand the ways he has inspired me and others. Whether it is motivating my staff and players or being a living example of positivism, he continues to be an influence in my life. Nothing Changes Until You Do is a wonderful book that will inspire you to live a life full of perspective!”
—AJ Hinch, vice president, assistant general manager of the San Diego Padres

“Mike Robbins has taken a unique and enlightening approach to self-compassion in Nothing Changes Until You Do. Through vulnerable and inspiring stories he not only teaches us the importance of being kind to ourselves, but exemplifies it in the process.”
—Kristin Neff, Ph.D., author of Self-Compassion

“Nothing Changes Until You Do is a brilliant guide to the value of changing and exquisitely loving yourself through what life brings us. Mike Robbins’s book is fi lled with fresh truths, shared vulnerabilities, and uncommon insights to open your heart and support you in the beauty of change and self-love.”
—SARK, author, artist, succulent wild woman, PlanetSARK.com

From the Publisher