Nothing Changes Until You Do: A Guide to Self-Compassion and Getting Out of Your Own Way

Nothing Changes Until You Do: A Guide to Self-Compassion and Getting Out of Your Own Way

by Mike Robbins

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After three years of living his dream as a professional baseball pitcher, Mike Robbins had an arm injury that benched him for good, and when this happened, everything changed.

He had to figure out who he was without the identity of "baseball player"—a process fraught with emotional highs and lows—and he quickly realized that the self-criticism and self-doubt he was feeling are in fact epidemic in our culture. Too often we base our value on our external world—our jobs, finances, appearance, or various other factors. Even the most successful people struggle with their relationship with themselves. In Nothing Changes Until You Do, Mike looks at this delicate relationship and brings to light a new way to look at life, opening your eyes to your innate value.

These 40 inspiring essays, which are real tales from Mike’s own life and the lives of his clients, boil down some of the most important lessons Mike has learned on his own personal journey—and as he’s traveled throughout the country for over a decade speaking to groups of all kinds. With themes spanning from the importance of trusting yourself to the benefits of vulnerability to the strength inherent in embracing change, this book shows you how to get out of your own way and make peace with yourself. With humor, authenticity, and ease, Mike illustrates that with a little self-compassion and a healthy dose of self-acceptance, anyone can turn away from the negatives that manifest because of a critical self-perception—things like unkindness, insecurity, addictions, sabotaged relationships, unnecessary drama, and more.

Making peace with yourself is fundamental to happiness and success. So join Mike and learn to have more compassion, more acceptance, and more love for yourself—thus giving you access to more compassion, more acceptance, and more love for the people (and everything else) in your life.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781401944933
Publisher: Hay House Inc.
Publication date: 05/06/2014
Sold by: Penguin Random House Publisher Services
Format: NOOK Book
Pages: 256
Sales rank: 328,258
File size: 1 MB

About the Author

Mike Robbins is the author of three books: Nothing Changes Until You Do, Focus on the Good Stuff, and Be Yourself, Everyone Else is Already Taken. He's a sought-after keynote speaker who speaks to groups of all kinds throughout the world.Some of his clients include Google, Wells Fargo, Twitter, Gap, eBay, Charles Schwab, Adobe, Chevron, Citibank, the US Department of Labor, Stanford University, the San Francisco Giants, and many others.Mike and his work have been featured in Forbes and the Wall Street Journal, as well as on ABC News and the Oprah radio network. He's a regular contributor to the Huffington Post and his books have been translated into fourteen different languages.Mike lives in Novato, CA with his wife Michelle and their two daughters. For more information, visit or follow him on Twitter @MikeDRobbins or Facebook,

Table of Contents

Introduction xi

Chapter 1 Focus on What Truly Matters 1

Chapter 2 Remember that a Bad Day for the Ego Is a Good Day for the Soul 7

Chapter 3 Nothing Changes Until You Do 11

Chapter 4 Remember that You're Valuable Just Because You're You 15

Chapter 5 Be Gentle with Yourself 21

Chapter 6 Ask for Help 25

Chapter 7 Don't Get Caught in the Trap of Comparison 31

Chapter 8 Be Real, Not Right 37

Chapter 9 Love Yourself (and the Rest Will Follow) 43

Chapter 10 Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously 49

Chapter 11 Remember How Strong You Are 55

Chapter 12 Just Show Up 59

Chapter 13 Give Yourself Permission to Make Mistakes .65

Chapter 14 Ask for What You Want 69

Chapter 15 Make Peace with Your Body and Appearance 75

Chapter 16 Trust Your Gut 81

Chapter 17 Remember that It's Not the Circumstances, It's You 87

Chapter 18 Appreciate People 91

Chapter 19 Be Aware of the Imposter Syndrome 97

Chapter 20 Give Yourself Permission to Cry 101

Chapter 21 Swing Hard (Just in Case You Hit It) 105

Chapter 22 Embrace Powerlessness 109

Chapter 23 Be Willing to Talk about Difficult Things 113

Chapter 24 Practice Gratitude 119

Chapter 25 Have the Courage to Be Vulnerable 123

Chapter 26 Trust Yourself 129

Chapter 27 Remember that You Are Much More than What You Do 133

Chapter 28 Roll with Life 139

Chapter 29 Speak Your Truth (Even if Your Voice Shakes) 143

Chapter 30 Don't Sweat the Small Stuff 149

Chapter 31 Be Easily Amazed 155

Chapter 32 Allow Things to Be Easy 159

Chapter 33 Accept Yourself 163

Chapter 34 Be Real and Compassionate about Money 167

Chapter 35 Stop Should-ing on Yourself 175

Chapter 36 Take Good Care of You 179

Chapter 37 Focus on What You Can Control 183

Chapter 38 Forgive Yourself 187

Chapter 39 Let Your Light Shine 191

Chapter 40 Live like You're Going to Die (Because You Are) 197

Appendix 203

Resources 207

Acknowledgments 211

About the Author 215

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