Overcoming Anger helps you identify the roots of your anger and get it under control once and for all. Using cutting-edge techniques combined with a conversational approach, author Carol D. Jones, Ph.D., M.F.T., helps you turn your gaze inward and understand your individual anger style.
You'll also develop a framework for managing your anger, and techniques for eliminating it altogether, such as:
- identifying your personal anger style and developing a plan
- making a commitment to change your life
- coping with everyday triggers to eliminate stress
- developing positive communication techniques
- listening actively rather than passively
- creating a personal responsibility assessment for your thoughts and actions
- and so much more
Overcoming Anger provides you with quizzes, checklists, and mediations designed to help you wipe out anger at its core. With these techniques, you'll finally be able to let go of your anger and live a happy and fulfilling life!
|Edition description:||Second Edition|
|Product dimensions:||5.50(w) x 8.43(h) x (d)|
Read an Excerpt
A Different Place or Time
People get angry for different reasons. Although anger is a universal feeling, its causes and expression can be culturally specific. What makes a Trobriand Islander mad is probably not going to tick off a New York City taxi driver, and the way they express their anger will be much different.
For example, a Marine once told me about a guy he knew in basic training. This young Marine had gone through extremely rigorous and nasty verbal abuse during boot camp at the hands of his Mephistophelian drill instructor. He had been insulted to the max and had been taken to the limits physically. He had not only withstood, but had succeeded fully in all the trials they could put to him. He was a "stellar" Marine. He was trained to handle the toughest physical and mental challenges out there. However, he went totally ballistic when the instructor called his mother an "old bag."
No doubt, he realized that the verbal haranguing and physical training he was undergoing was supposed to be honing him for his future job as a "devil dog." Clearly, this young man was reacting to one of the "shoulds" from his early childhood that mothers should not be insulted. He lost control and expressed his displeasure physically, resulting in the end of his military career.
Whether you agree with his reaction or not, the only caveat here is to decide if the belief (and the reaction to the situation based on that belief) works to help achieve the desired results in the situation and within the context of the society. Here is where the buck stops.
Sure, we may make some knee-jerk choices based upon that pre-ordained hard-wiring, but, thanks to our brain's frontal lobe, these decisions are normally held in check by our assumptions regarding what we consider "reasonable." Sometimes this chain of consideration and action gets thrown out of whack and problems arise when individuals take action before they decide if their situation is threatening or if their response is appropriate.
In addition, what works for dealing with perceived threats in one society in terms of rules and values may not even warrant a flicker of consideration for folks from a different place or time.
Table of ContentsCHAPTER ONE : ANGER'S TERRAIN
CHAPTER TWO: A DIFFERENT PLACE OR TIME
CHAPTER THREE : DO I FEEL?
CHAPTER FOUR: ANGER AND FAMILY VIOLENCE
CHAPTER FIVE: STRESS AND EMOTIONS
CHAPTER SIX: BURNOUT
CHAPTER SEVEN: HERE'S THE THING
CHAPTER EIGHT: COMMUNICATION AND ANGER
CHAPTER NINE: IT'S DOWN TO YOU: ASSERTIVENESS
CHAPTER TEN: CONFLICT, CONFRONTATION AND THOSE NASTY PEOPLE
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
People get angry for many reasons. Everything from world events to traffic jams contributes to stress and anger. Controlling the emotions related to anger is difficult, but it leads to personal growth, assertiveness and happiness. Anger management can benefit everyone. Counselor Carol Jones' conversational, well-researched book provides insightful suggestions for identifying and controlling anger and its related emotional and behavioral components. Jones uses personality and situational self-assessments to match anger management techniques with individual personality styles. This is not solely a self-help book filled with checklists; in fact, it is light on tricks and quick techniques. Instead, it is an entertaining, informative explanation of what anger is and how it happens. The author also suggests ways to become more assertive, which will make you happier, more effective, less angry and less stressed out. We believe that managers in human resources and other departments can use this book to enhance employee productivity and improve communications. And if you'd like a little help defusing the stimuli that trigger your anger, that's here as well.
Described as a book to develop skills to deal with anger as opposed to understanding the anger response, this book is a journey through myriad aspects of human behavior. It is a terrific exposure to the many aspects of each of us that make us different and how to embrace those differences, take responsibility for our emotions and avoid the combination of circumstances that lead to anger an potentially violence. While titled and organized to specifically address anger, this book has a much broader appeal to those seeking better communications in our lives. The many learnings include: how to 'see' things differently and get different results, that life is a matter of degrees -the circumstances and how they are perceived will change the results, the importance of getting your own needs met, anger as an emotion, the many dynamics of relationships, parenting and a lot on communication both at work as well as with friends and family. I found the book to be a great primer on human behavior / psychology and easy reading (a flowing style littered with movie, TV and book references examples along with the author's personal counseling experiences. There is something here for everyone with lots of exercises to stimulate introspection and self-discovery. Much like John Gray's Mars / Venus, I was constantly seeing myself and others I know in the stories and examples which stimulated ideas I had not considered before. There were also many of the familiar concepts (Karpman triangle, the four types of power, Johari window, etc) reinforcing the concepts on these many topics. This is a great place to start understanding how to have a better life