PREPARATION FOR MY DESTINY

PREPARATION FOR MY DESTINY

by Shayla Brantley

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Overview

Like never before, author Shayla Brantley, captivates her life experiences into her love for writing. Through her poetry she explores and reveals the struggles of day to day life. From the trials of being a wife, mother, and daughter, to her struggles to overcome rape, suicide, poverty, homelessness and the infidelities of her marriage; she bares it all. Through her poems, readers will find inspirational strength, hope, love and romance, as well as an emotional bond with the writer. Shayla consolidates all her life experiences, the bad and good, as the building blocks, which has provoked her to write this intricate piece of art. She inspires everyone to not only dream, but to take, step by step actions to make their dreams become reality.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781468564990
Publisher: AuthorHouse
Publication date: 03/26/2012
Pages: 112
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.27(d)

Read an Excerpt

Preparation For My Destiny


By Shayla Brantley

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Shayla Brantley
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4685-6499-0


Chapter One

Poetry Is Not A Luxury
(It Is My Life)



People often look at my poetry and say, "What a gift she has"
Not realizing that's it's a part of my future, my present, and my past
For me it's not a gift, but a harsh reality
Because this isn't fake; it's all a part of me
The words that I write whether or not they are in a rhyme
Are all a part of what I call this life of mine
Gifted, I think not, just living life day by day
I just needed a way to express myself, and words seemed to be the way
So when people started seeing it as a talent, I had to put it to a halt
My words weren't as real to them, and that was all my fault
My words became, to them, less than what they were meant to be
They were only touching words, but not a real part of me
It did feel kind of good to touch people with a mere word
But the words that I wrote, were they really even heard
They never realized that my poetry is not a luxury
My poems are my life; they're the whole story of me


My Slow, Painful Demise

Loving him so much, nearly loving him to my own death
Giving my all making a complete fool of myself
Going in circles just to end up back at the same spot
Plucking rose petals saying he loves me when I know he loves me not
Putting my heart back on the line each and every day
In hopes that this time he would change his unloving ways
And once again he doesn't, and my pillows full of tears
Filled with hurt and frustrations built up over the years
Praying to God that one day soon he will love me again
And that ill have the one who was destined to be my lover and my best friend
Not knowing that I'm stressing so much that I may very well be on my
death bed
As I feel each vein as they burst within my head
Didn't realize that each pain was all in slow murder
As my soul listens to him telling people, "I truly never meant to hurt her"
Did he not know that he was the main reason that I died
Death by an aneurysm from the pain that he placed inside


Tomorrow Is A Brand New Day

Today I feel down, depressed, and full of sorrow
It just makes me wish I wouldn't make it to see tomorrow
With a day like today how can I ever feel better
I'm all alone and just look at the weather
It's cold and that's exactly how I feel inside
Today I feel like I've lost all my pride
I have no one in whom I can confide
And my sadness is something I don't think I can hide
Last week was alright, but today is all wrong
I just want to know how long this could go on
With a life like mine, who would want to live
This world expects so much from me, and I just can't seem to give
I'm doing everything wrong no matter how hard I try
With my past and what's going on now, all I can do is cry
I've stepped on by so many and ignored by the rest
I want to please them all; I can only try my best
But today I've come to realize that I'll live my life my way
I'm just looking forward to tomorrow, because tomorrows a brand new day


True Love Begins With Me

I asked God for true love and began on my search
Only to realize that I would only be hurt
I fell in love many times and fell hard constantly
So I just came to grips that true love really wasn't for me
That didn't stop me from looking; I did all I thought I could
But each one of my efforts were just no good
I decided to throw up my hands and threw in the towel
My life was a game, and all my moves seemed to foul
I stopped praying for love; I had given in
I was losing so much that I thought I'd never win
Then something came that I never knew was true love
It wasn't even what I thought real love was
But once I started feeling it something inside changed
Loving me or loving him didn't even feel the same
So when the love ended it wasn't a surprise
Because true love isn't filled with confusion and lies
So I started praying again and just decided to wait
But this time I knew that love was in my fate
Because the Lord said, "Just open your eyes and you will see
My child it's not about you, true love begins with Me"


You Don't Love Me Anymore

Since we've been together, life has treated me well
But lately something's going wrong, and how can I tell
That your love is not as deep as it used to be
But how in the world could you stop loving me

I've tried to do my best to give you what you need
But you're starting to act as if you want me to leave
Through the days and the nights I've only cried
Because I've done something wrong no matter how hard I tried

But what could I have possibly done
To make you want to leave me alone
Cold and lonely with nowhere to turn
If only you would teach me, then baby I would learn

What could I do to make you love me
Because I've fallen in love, and I've fallen too deep
In love with you, my lover and my man
But I'm afraid that you just don't understand

How could you fall in love and fall out so quick
How could your love be so thin and mine has grown so thick
With all of the things that we wanted for each other
Why would you ever stop being my lover


The Best Is Yet To Come

I'm not avoiding love; just trying not to rush it
Because once I start to feel, there's just something I can't resist
I love with my whole heart, and it's too much for people to take
But over the years I've realized that true love will come some day
I know that the future holds something for me, and love is in the midst
But I had to learn that it's not in my control; I had to stop wishing for it
I thought I had found the epitome of love only to see it was the epitome
of pain
But I brushed it off by telling myself that what they lost was the next
one's gain
And it was their gain until they decided that they wanted to leave me, too
So I've learned to accept what that last one did, the next one will also do
I don't wear my heart on my sleeve anymore; it's safely in the depth of its
own capacity
That way if it not out in the open, no one can take my heart from me
Eventually when the time is right, I'll finally have "the one"
Because I know that it's in my destiny, and that the best is yet to come


I Too Shall Rise

Maya said it perfectly, I, too, shall rise
From the pain and disgrace, each lie and disguise
Come out of beatings, the rape, the deceit
Stop giving them the victory; it's time to defeat
They've done so much stuff, brought about so much hurt
They told us what to do, and we did all their work
Now you may think that I'm only talking about the white man
Well, to tell the truth I'm not, and it's about time someone took a stand
I'm taking that stand now, bringing down the stereotypes
Showing the whole world what a real, intelligent black woman is like
To write complete sentences; to speak my language as it should be spoken
Not ashamed to wear my ethnicity as if it is my token
They can call me what they want, but this goes far beyond skin
It's about what's in my mind and what I release from within
So because of the words I use or the sound of my voice don't say I'm
trying to be a "white girl"
I'm just showing that I'm one of the many intelligent, black women in
this world


Pick Up The Pieces

I'm broken; the fragments are everywhere
And you blow them around just like dust instead of showing that you care
One by one you just throw them away
And put my heart in more danger instead of keeping it safe
The outer layer has already disappeared
Now, the inner me is going quickly just as I feared
And the only one who can keep me together
Is making me feel like I'll be broken forever
I'm not asking him to do much, just a small part
The rest of me is already broken, don't keep breaking my heart
Just do this one thing and show your love for me
Pick me up and put me together piece by piece


What's It Going To Be

We've both played a major part in this game
Not giving all of our love, but constantly causing pain
Until one of decided that enough was enough
That it wasn't worth even trying to love
So you made that call, brought us to an end
Without so much as another chance to begin
You decided to go against marriage and the laws of the Lord
Because you couldn't take being one anymore
But you knew that God still saw us as one flesh
It was just for the benefit of putting your own mind at rest
You've given me false hope, saying you're giving me a test
Knowing that you never intend for us to be together and doing our best
But I constantly keep my faith and give you my trust
So I'm waiting and waiting for you to tell me
Where do we stand; what's it going to be
There's something that I truly need to know
Are you letting me back in or are you letting me go


Let's Take It Slowly

I want you to know that I like you a lot
And that'll never change whether the world likes it or not
But I think we're moving just a little too fast
And I want to slow down, because I want us to last

Don't get me wrong; there's no one else
But we need some time to get to know ourselves
I'm not saying that I'll never commit
I'm just saying I don't want to rush it

Love is patient, and that's how it should be
So have some faith, and be patient with me
If we rush the process how far will this go
We still need time and space for us both to grow

It's just not the time for us to commit to one another
First let's talk and get to know each other
When we know one another then we'll really know
How far we want our relationship to go


I'm Already Dead

Often in my life I wonder why
These tears would fall from my eyes
At the least expected moment I would break down and cry
And all of a sudden wish that I would just hurry up and die

Then I started to act as if I didn't care
Some would ask me what's wrong, but I didn't want to share
My pain was all mines; it wasn't going anywhere
And if I told anyone it would still be there

At times I would feel all down and depressed
I was scared to think that I was blessed
Sometimes I was happy I must confess
But something always came along to cause me much stress

Then some things started going through my head
As my leg was shaking and my eyes were red
I've been spending my life lying in this bed
So to me and everyone else, I'm already dead


If Nothing Last Forever
(Will You Be My Nothing)


In this world all things shall pass
Nothing ever really seems to last
People say that forever is way too long
Well, baby, you and I can prove them all wrong
Arguments come and relationships fail
And what once was balanced can no longer be held
Lovers and friends both go and come
But with us a new tradition has just begun
Since people want to buy into the hype
Let's not prove them wrong; we'll make it all right
We'll be in love, and, no matter what, stay together
Since they want to say that nothing lasts forever
The two of us can show the whole world something
That I can be yours and you can be my nothing


In God I Trust

Depression and happiness all rolled up in one
I'm still here, nut I'm so far gone
Feelings overcome me that I just don't understand
Why am I feeling like this, is it all in His plan
God wants me happy, if not then why be
I'm so trapped in, and yet I'm so free
The tears often come, but at times they just don't
As much as i try to force them out they just won't
My head starts to hurt, and my tear ducts are filled
But no matter what I do the tears will not spill
Maybe I'd feel better if I could just cry one good cry
But the tears won't even fall from my eyes
My heart is filled with pain, but my mind is empty
Am I crazy or what; what's wrong with me
They say depression has no purpose, but there's a reason for everything
I just can't seem to understand what's really happening
I have the love I want, and that makes ne content
But something keeps me down all over again
I'll just stick it out, but only if I must
Because God knows what He's doing, so I give Him my trust


Why I Seek Your Love

Because I looked deep into your eyes and saw my souls companion
There was something within the depths of your gaze
Because I heard your voice and knew id found my heart's desire
And realized I wanted you for the rest of my life
Because you are so strong but never felt the need to prove it
No one could help but to notice the strength
Because you were the one I always dreamed for yet not at all what I expected
But still I knew that you were heaven sent
I fell in love with you because you were wise beyond your years
Not even the oldest man could possess that mind
But you were still a child at heart
A combination I will never again find
Because I can't always understand you well
And I'll write this down in history
That the part of you that I secretly seek
Is a part of loves unsolved mystery


From The Most High Exalted One

The highest most exalted one has blessed me with a gift
Who has sent to bring joy as well as up lift
And for almost six years she has done just that
Without even knowing it was she who always had my back
Has put a smile on my face in the midst of many tears
And placed love in the spot of many of my fears
Like the fear of not being loved or always being alone
She lets me know, "Mommy I'm there even when I'm not at home"
My first little angel, even when she disguises it well
I know why she was sent even if no one else can tell
The most high, exalted one sent her in the midst of my rain
And in His honor she wouldn't deserve anything other than Aaliyah as
her name


At Last

At last I've found someone to share my whole being
To spend my life with and to discover its meanings
The sunshine of my life, my smiles throughout the day
At last I've found the one with whom I can stay

At last I have found the person who I can pour my heart out to
Who still loves me despite everything I've ever been through
The one who listens and doesn't criticize me
At last someone is showing me the way love really should be

At last I feel like I can just let my love flow
And wait patiently as each day it gradually starts to grow
I've anticipated for so long this moment in time
At last true love has proven to be mine

At last I've realized that I've finally found the one
Although it's the beginning, and we've only just begun
I can go to sleep each night looking forward to each tomorrow
Because at last I've found love to last with each day that may follow


A New Year, A New Me

2004 is gone, and now I face a new year
I didn't that I would make it, but 2005 is finally here
Last year wasn't so good; in fact it was pure hell
I tried to accomplish new things, but each time I would fail
But it won't happen this year, I'm already making a change
This will be a better year; I'll never ever be the same
I've experienced some things; I had to go through the fire
And although some thing are taking me to a better place
I just had to make it through; there were things I had to face
One of the worst years of my life could have been one of the best
It wasn't just about walking alone, God still had my hand
And each time I thought I couldn't, He would let me know I can
Now I have major responsibilities; there are things I need to do
There will soon be someone influenced by what I go through
I'll have a child to care for; no one else can do it for me
So this is my year to face responsibility
It's no time for games, it's time for God to arise
A new me is growing in the year 2005


I'm About To Break Down

My head is in shambles, my hearts not at ease
And no matter what I do I just can't seem to find peace
Each second of brings about hours of pain
And each day that I live I'm living in vain
Everything around me is just causing so much distress
And it's a shame, because I don't even have time to be depressed
I can't even sit and sulk in my own pity
Because when one thing comes, another one hits me
My head and my heart are both are war
And I can't seem to figure out what all of this is for
So to keep people from seeing it, I smile to cover my frown
But it feels like at any minute I'm about to break down


All I Needed Was The Rain

Those first tears you saw were all tears of pain
But they would have been covered up if only it had rained
I wanted to hide what I was feeling, but the tears that I cried
Couldn't even be replaced by the fact that I had pride
My eyes were burning red, and my face was soaking wet
But as much as I prayed for it the rain was something I couldn't get
I couldn't cover my face; my hands just weren't enough
I even tried to hold back the tears, but it seemed to be too tough
Once you saw them running I just let them flow
But the reason why I cried, not even I would know
I let them flow until they soaked the pillow
But there was not a drop on the other side of the window
The first time you saw me cry I felt so ashamed
And it could have been prevented; all I needed was the rain

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Preparation For My Destiny by Shayla Brantley Copyright © 2012 by Shayla Brantley. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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PREPARATION FOR MY DESTINY 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
One of the greatest books ever. This is a great read for those who have or are going through anything.