On the way to finding and creating vibrant, successful relationships, too many of us end up tangled in the same old patterns, tripped up by relationship habits that get in our way whether we "know better" or not. In Rewire Your Brain for Love, neuropsychologist and psychotherapist Marsha Lucas, PhD, helps you untangle those relationship snarls, bringing together the latest neuroscience with a practice consistently heralded by top academic institutions for its effectiveness in changing the brain: the practice of mindfulness meditation. Dr. Lucas’s clear, unintimidating, often laugh-out-loud style invites you to explore how the brain functions in relationships, helping you understand how your current relationship wiring developed and showing you how you can rewire your relationship brain through mindfulness meditation. A down-to-earth therapist and self-described neuroscience geek, Dr. Lucas has written a chapter-by-chapter guide with compassion, wisdom, and humor. In Rewire Your Brain for Love, she takes you on a journey through seven high-voltage relationship benefits—everything from keeping your fear from running the show to cultivating healthy, balanced empathy—and offers specific mindfulness practices to help bring those benefits into your life. With a few minutes of practice a day, you can change the way you interact with everyone around you . . . especially those closest to you. You can transform your brain from an enemy to an ally in all matters of the heart, creating more loving communication, building emotional resilience, and reducing overreactivity—not to mention enjoying better sex. You don’t have to become a monk, or a vegetarian, or spend hours contemplating your navel—you just need to update the relationship wiring of your brain. The simple practice of mindfulness can help get you there, with Dr. Lucas showing you how.
|Publisher:||Hay House Inc.|
|Product dimensions:||6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.80(d)|
About the Author
Marsha Lucas, PhD., is a licensed psychologist and neuropsychologist, and has been practicing psychotherapy and studying the brain-behavior relationship for nearly twenty years. Prior to entering private practice, she was a neuropsychologist on the faculty at the Emory University School of Medicine.She fell in love with interpersonal neurobiology in a conference room full of 750 other people—finding herself getting some odd looks when she had tears of joy rolling down her face at the mention of the anterior cingulate and the insula in the same sentence as "greater empathy." She appreciates the integration of mindfulness, neuroscience, and relationships as a perfect confluence of many of the previously unintegrated aspects of her life.Dr. Lucas maintains a clinical private practice in Washington, D.C. She lives in suburban D.C. with her husband, Duncan Krieger, their son, Gabriel, and their dog, Bodhi Tzedakah
Table of Contents
Introduction: Rewiring Your Brain for Love: The Best Do-It-Yourself Project You'll Ever Do xiii
Part I Understanding Your Current Wiring Diagram Please Read the Owner's Manual Before Attempting Repairs
Chapter 1 Early Relationship Experiences: Attached at the Hip Hippocampus 3
Chapter 2 What Goes Where: The Wiring Diagram of the Relationship Brain 19
Part II Becoming Your Own Master Electrician Essential Relationship Wiring Features and How to Power Them Up
Chapter 3 Rewiring the Alarm Button: Body Regulation 37
Meditation: Basic Mindfulness 53
Chapter 4 Circuit Breakers to Prevent Overheating: Fear Modulation 57
Meditation: Circuit Breaker 74
Chapter 5 Installing a Dimmer Switch: Emotional Resilience 75
Meditation: "Can You Feel Me Now?" 88
Chapter 6 Grounded Electrical Outlets: Response Flexibility 91
Meditation: "Catch a Wave" 102
Chapter 7 Putting a Work Light in the Attic: Insight/Self-Knowing 105
Meditation: Body Scan 122
Chapter 8 Acquiring a Voltmeter: Empathy 125
Meditation: Loving-Kindness 138
Chapter 9 We're All on the Same Power Grid: From Me to We 145
Meditation: Interconnectedness 158
Part III You've Got the Power
Chapter 10 Living with Your New Wiring 163
Meditation: Abiding Changes 175
Final Thoughts 179
About the Author 201
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
I heard Dr. Lucas on a webinar for healthcare professionals around the world. (I'm not a doctor, but I'm committed to taking good care of my health.) It was one of the best talks I've ever heard from a professional. Not jargon or psych-babble, but serious science presented in a real and useful way. Dr. Lucas writes like she talks (real words, kind, funny, lively), so it's a bit like having a convo with her as you read. Very useful info, backed by real science without dumb claims. The only question is why this is "just" for relationships? It's really good for much more than that. Definitely recommended.
A lot of the self-help books I've read have either very little heart, very little practical substance, or nothing at all to back them up. I really appreciate what I got from this book, since it delivers on all of those. I felt like I was having a very cool conversation with the author, with a lot of heart and humor and compassion; there was real substance and a practical, "you can do this" approach (which has already been helpful to me, even just two weeks into putting it into practice); and the science to back it up is real.
This is a book I've been hoping someone would write. It takes the power of scientific research and puts it into warm, accessible language woven with real-life examples about how to make your relationships seriously better. Dr. Lucas seems like someone I'd enjoy hanging out with, since she brings together science, love, attachment, and mindfulness, all things on the top of my list.
My husband and I both read this. He never reads self-improvement books, but since this one has solid science research behind it, he was willing to give it a go after I'd read it and he could see how I was already doing our interactions differently. We can both already see progress and changes in our relationship from this book, having both finished it a month ago. It feels like we don't get on the same ridiculous (sometimes hurtful) roller-coaster ride any more; what a relief! I wish we'd had this book twenty years ago. Giving a copy to our daughter who is about to be married. Highly recommended!
Reviewed by Darin Godby for Readers' Favorite Author Marsha Lucas writes: "Fear and anger are intimately related." She suggests that fear can't be truly dealt with until it is acknowledged. Dealing with how our brains operate concerning the left and the right sides is very interesting and allows the reader to better understand why they respond the way they do at times. She challenges us to move toward the left side of the brain in order to improve our mood and reduce our stress. Author Lucas also promotes the importance of meditation and how it helps one to become less stressful when they can learn to relax. Learning to pause throughout the day was another helpful item that was brought forth in Rewire Your Brain For Love. When we learn to pause throughout various times of the day, to just breathe and relax, then we find ourselves not allowing circumstances to dictate our surroundings. Definitely one of the most important and helpful parts of the book is when author Lucas states: "...the biggest thing that holds us back from making changes is all of us carry around self-limiting thoughts as a way of protecting ourselves from change." When we create self-limiting thoughts, it holds us in bondage and keeps us from becoming a stronger more influential individual to those around us. Also included is a well written resource section found at the end of the book. The reader is left with many additional outlets to truly develop within a particular area and become a better person. An insightful and informative read.
Didn't really get anything out of this book-too complicated!