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Rising Above It All
The Art of Living a More Fulfilling and Productive Life
By John L. Lee iUniverse
Copyright © 2015 John L. Lee
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4917-7771-8
CHAPTER 1
The Art of Fulfillment
Through my own life experiences, I have come to realize that people are social creatures, and if we are to experience higher levels of fulfillment, we need to feel that we belong and that we contribute to something worthwhile.
Knowledge and understanding are very important elements in creating a more fulfilling and productive life. Knowledge and understanding have the potential of ultimately creating purpose. If there is no purpose in your life, then you will not find fulfillment or feel productive. With that being said, I will begin this study by teaching you the nature of human nature.
Throughout this discussion, I will refer back to two rules of human fulfillment:
1. You will never become greater than that which motivates you.
2. You stop becoming greater the instant you think you're great.
Throughout this discussion, we will also investigate the importance of providing leadership. For this discussion, leadership is defined as the ability to change culture. Culture is often referred to as an organization's personality. Organization can refer to many different entities, including a business or a family. That being said, let's begin. I have identified three levels of human behavior: phase 1 behavior, phase 2 behavior, and phase 3 behavior.
This model uses two basic assumptions concerning human nature. The first assumption is that the mother of all motivators is survival. Like all living creatures, we humans do amazing things just to survive. There is a program on television called Survival Stories that goes over the amazing things people do just to survive. A few years ago, there was an individual who was rock climbing in the state of Utah when a rock fell on his forearm. As a result of this misfortune, he was pinned under that rock for three or four days. When he felt he wasn't going to survive much longer, he finally took out his pocketknife and cut off his arm. He then managed to hike out to get help. That shows how strong a motivator survival is. Remember — the first assumption is that the mother of all motivators is survival.
The second assumption is that if people do not perceive that they stand out in a crowd, they will die. Using these two assumptions, I will attempt to explain human nature.
As you can see, there are three levels of human behavior — phases 1, 2, and 3. The model will be symbolized as shown in the illustration above. Phase 1 behavior is symbolized by an individual holding a sword, phase 2 behavior is symbolized by an individual with a graduation cap, and phase 3 is symbolized by an individual lifting someone up.
Phase 1 behavior is the starting point of human behavior. In an effort to survive, we engage in phase 1 behavior that tears other people down — as a way to help us perceive that we are standing out in a crowd. If we cut everyone down around us, then, relatively speaking, we will be standing out in a crowd — it's all relative. For example, what happens to a child who goes to school and is different in some way? Phase 1 behavior identifies unique characteristics, magnifies them, and belittles them. Imagine the shock of a child who has been taught that his uniqueness makes him special and then goes to school, where his uniqueness is amplified and belittled by other students. The child then comes home believing that the message that his uniqueness makes him special is nothing but a big lie and that in reality his uniqueness only qualifies him as some kind of a freak show. That's what phase 1 behavior does — it amplifies uniqueness and then belittles it. Phase 1 organizations tend to gravitate to the center. People try to be the same so no one will belittle them. Uniqueness is seen as a liability in a phase 1 organization.
An important thing to understand here is that phase 1 behavior doesn't just take bad characteristics and belittle them. It doesn't matter if the characteristic is positive or negative; it just needs to be a unique characteristic. I've heard of children who went to school and were teased and belittled because they got good grades. Then they would purposely get bad grades just so they could belong to the crowd. That's the nature of phase 1 behavior.
To continue on with the story, the child in question usually comes home crying, and the mother responds by asking, "How can children be so mean?"
Phase 1 behavior, by its very nature, tends to be insecure, and thus the starting point of human nature tends to believe the critics. Critics are very powerful in a phase 1 environment because everyone cares what others think of him. For example, when the child goes to school and the other kids say he's a freak because he gets good grades, he tends to believe them because human nature tends to believe the critics in phase 1. This belief that the critics are right is what gives phase 1 behavior the power to do negative things, especially if it happens within a phase 1 organization that values and supports this type of behavior. Phase 1 behavior is also the birthplace of practices such as racism, sexism, and other destructive behaviors.
Phase 1 behavior will attempt to keep people from evolving out of this lower level of behavior and attempts to convince people that they are incapable of improving. Phase 1 behavior is inherently destructive. Thus, phase 1 behavior is inherently incapable of creating an environment of fulfillment and productivity. People who exhibit phase 1 behavior are incapable of becoming leaders in the world of organizational change, at least change for the good. I will be referring to this organizational change for the good as organizational transformation. The definition of leadership in the world of organizational transformation is the ability to change culture for the good. Culture is defined as how an organization acts out on its value system and is also referred to as the personality of an organization. Organizational culture is very difficult to change. A leader must be very influential in order to change organizational culture. Phase 1 behavior is not influential for the good and as a result is incapable of true leadership.
Phase 1 behavior is the cheap drug of human behavior. Let me describe the nature of this cheap drug. I'll begin by describing the normal emotional state of a human being. A person's emotional state goes up and down within a reasonable amount of variation. When the lower side of this reasonable amount of variation in emotional state has been reached, a person may desire to have a "high," so a choice is made to take the cheap drug. This drug does give people the high they are looking for. Of course, the nature of the cheap drug is that after experiencing the high, then the steep drop-off is experienced. Now the desire is to experience a high again because now that person is lower than the original state. So the person takes another hit, and the cheap drug results in another high. However, the nature of the drug is that the new high is lower than the last high. This cycle continues until eventually each new high is lower than the old norm.
This is the nature of phase 1 behavior. To stand out in a crowd, you chop other people down.
Remember that phase 1 behavior is the starting point of human behavior. If you decide to habitually practice phase 1 behavior, your reward will be jealousy, enviousness, and hatefulness. You will be easily offended, and you will experience a lack of influence for good. These are the fruits of phase 1 behavior. In hindsight, phase 1 behavior will always look stupid and shameful.
Every phase of behavior has its own decision-making processes, as well as its own set of motives. Phase 1 behavior solves problems with the personify, blame, and punish (PBP) methodology. With phase 1 behavior, every problem is a personal problem and every personal problem is solved through effective punishment. Effective punishment, or PBP, has the natural by-product of fear. Remember that you'll never become greater than that which motivates you, and phase 1 behavior is motivated by fear. This behavior also lacks the influence that is required to evolve to higher levels of fulfillment.
In the figure above I have upgraded our model on human behavior by adding a few bullet points about phase 1 behavior.
I have been a plant manager for several companies, and sometimes I would go into an organization that had just been purchased by an unfriendly takeover or something similar. I'd notice that these organizations were very much phase 1 organizations. In my rookie season, I initially thought that if I was nice to everyone, then eventually they would be nice in return. Wrong! In reality, that never happened. I quickly learned that phase 1 behavior respects fear, so I changed my style.
I would go into these organizations and say, "Hey, listen. You may not like me, and I don't blame you, but the fact of the matter is I am your boss and I have rules." And then I stated the rules. I would say, "If you disobey the rules, I want you to know that I will terminate you immediately." And so they feared me — and that was when I suddenly realized that phase 1 behavior–type organizations respect fear; therefore, they respected my position. Remember that you cannot lead if you do not have the respect of the organization you're trying to lead and phase 1 behavior is motivated by fear.
Obviously, this is not where you want to keep the organization. Your job in a leadership role is to evolve the organization to higher levels of human behavior. But this is a starting point, and you do have to deal with reality. Reality doesn't care what you wish the organization was or is; you have to deal with where you currently are. You ultimately want to evolve the organization from phase 1 behavior to the point that the organization is not motivated by fear. This change in culture demands leadership. Remember that leadership dictates culture.
One thing to remember is that one of the things that takes place if you habitually exercise phase 1 behavior throughout your life is that you will be jealous, envious, hateful, and easily offended. Phase 1 is not where you want to live your life if you are looking for a life of productivity and fulfillment. Remember, though, that as a leader, you cannot effectively beat hatred with hatred; thus, you must rise above it all — you must rise above the behavior of the organization you are trying to transform. So even though phase 1 behavior is a starting point for human nature, it does not have to be the ending condition. The good news is that human nature is capable of evolving. Evolving to higher levels of human behavior usually demands help from those who have matured and progressed out of phase 1 behavior. Evolution also demands personal courage, strength, and a belief that the seemingly impossible is possible and obtainable. In other words, you must be capable of going against the critics.
In summary, phase 1 behavior is good at creating problems but dysfunctional at solving them, which is another way of saying it is a destructive behavior.
CHAPTER 2
Phase 2 Behavior
Phase 2 behavior is when you develop skills and talents that allow you to stand out in a crowd. As you develop skills and talents, you have less of a desire to use phase 1 behavior to stand out. You may wonder why this is the case. The reason is because the high you get from standing out in a crowd based on skills and talents is a higher, more sustainable high than the one you would get from phase 1 behavior. Phase 2 behavior does not have the same steep drop-offs as the cheap drug of phase 1 human behavior. Ultimately, you evolve out of lower levels to higher levels of human behavior simply because it feels better. It's actually pretty basic.
Phase 2 behavior is relatively constructive, so that's a good thing. We can develop skills and talents through formal education or informal education, which is symbolized by the graduation cap. But however they are learned, we have to develop skills and talents to evolve to phase 2 behavior.
When this model was being realized in my mind, I was a father of four relatively young boys. At the time, my eldest son was in second grade, and the youngest was a toddler. Through observation, I noticed phase 1 behavior developing in my children. Therefore, I decided I would try introducing them to the joys of higher-level human behavior, such as phase 2 behavior. I felt I needed to find a lonely person for my kids to stand out in a crowd with based on their limited skills and talents.
One evening after work I dropped by the local elder-care facility. I went up to the lady at the front desk and asked her, "Is there anyone in this facility who is extremely lonely?" She responded without hesitation and told me about Mary. Mary had not had a visitor in twelve years. I quickly told the lady at the front desk that she would be perfect. I then left the facility, went home, and told my wife about Mary and how I felt it would be a good opportunity for the boys to experience the joys of serving others by using their skills and talents. I figured Mary was so lonely that the slightest amount of talent could pull this one off. My wife agreed and immediately started working on the project by teaching the kids some new songs.
Within a couple of weeks, she had the kids perform their dress rehearsal. I felt that they did an excellent job. After a little polishing of the production, my wife informed me that they were ready for the big performance, so one Sunday afternoon we got the kids dressed up in their cute little outfits and headed out to the care center.
We arrived at the front desk and announced to the attendant that we had come to see Mary. She was shocked that someone had actually come to visit Mary. She happily led us back to Mary's room. When we arrived, there she was in a deep sleep. I told the young lady not to wake her up and that we could come back later.
The lady quickly responded, "Are you kidding me, sir? This wonderful woman has not had a visitor for twelve years. Do you really think I'm going to let you escape?"
I couldn't really think of a counterargument, so we stayed.
With the persuasive efforts of the young lady, Mary eventually woke up. The attendant told her, "Mary, you have company."
I could tell by the look on her face that Mary was shocked. Mary informed us that she needed to get ready and made me promise that we would not leave. I gave her my promise and left her room. While my young family was waiting outside the room, I rubbed my hands together and told them that Mary was on her way. After we waited for ten or fifteen minutes, Mary walked out of her room dressed in what I perceived to be her best clothing. She had a warm smile on her face as she sat down, and my wife started asking her questions about herself.
Mary started talking, and an hour flew by — and then she stopped and asked us about the children. This is where their practice was to kick in. So I brought the children forward, straightened up their clothing, and reminded them of what they had practiced. To my relief, the kids performed as planned. Each child went up to Mary, looked her right in the face, and introduced himself. Then my wife announced to Mary that the kids had prepared some songs they wanted to sing to her. My wife brushed each of the kids down and had them all line up in front of Mary; then they started singing. They were doing a great job. Wow, those genes must have come from their mother! I thought. Soon I noticed tears building up in the corners of Mary's eyes. The next thing I knew, tears were flowing freely down her face.
I thought to myself, This is exactly what the kids needed. When the first song was over, Mary asked if they could sing another song. My wife informed her that the kids had practiced four songs and that they desired to share all of them with her. By the time they had finished all four songs, my wife and Mary were openly crying.
At the end of the fourth song, I watched my children observing their mom and Mary. I gave my sons high fives for the great performance, and my eldest son looked at me and said, "I think we did a good job."
I told all the boys that they had just done an excellent job. I asked them, "Do you feel good?" They all responded in the affirmative. I could tell that the boys had just learned how to stand out in a crowd based on their skills and talents. The exercise was a success.
Eventually, all the boys went up and gave Mary a hug, and we began to leave. As I looked around, I was surprised at the impact this performance had had on everyone around us. It seemed everyone was in tears. As we exited the building through the various hallways, I noticed that at the corners of the hallways were various nurses, and all of them had red and puffed-up eyes from the emotional experience. I must admit that I was greatly surprised at the influence this small act had on all those people. At that moment, I started to realize the power of this kind of behavior.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Rising Above It All by John L. Lee. Copyright © 2015 John L. Lee. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse.
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