Table of Contents
Author's Note xiii
Introduction: The Poetics of Sex 1
Chapter 1 Sex in Action 7
Part I Beginning
Chapter 2 Desire and the Call to Sexual Action 19
Chapter 3 Touch 35
Chapter 4 A "Rec-relational" Approach to Sex 41
Chapter 5 Psychological Stimulation (Side-by-Side) 50
Chapter 6 Psychological Stimulation (Face-to-Face) 62
Chapter 7 Exploring Erotic Themes 69
Chapter 8 Expressing Your Inner Kinks 79
Chapter 9 Interlude: Sex, Shame, and Self-Location 91
Part II Middle
Chapter 10 Outercourse 109
Chapter 11 Cliteracy in Action 119
Chapter 12 Deep Arousal (Male) 136
Chapter 13 Deep(er) Arousal (Male and Female) 144
Part III End
Chapter 14 Orgasm: A Journey, Not a Destination 157
Chapter 15 Plateau: Entering a State of Reverie 163
Chapter 16 Entrainment into Orgasm 174
Chapter 17 After-Care 184
Part IV All Together Now
Chapter 18 Getting Your Glow On 193
Chapter 19 Creating Sex Scripts that Confer Meaning 205
Part V Problems, Solutions, and Useful Exercises
Chapter 20 Modifying Sex Scripts to Address Common Sexual Problems 231
Chapter 21 Desire/Arousal Issues and the Sex Script 233
Chapter 22 Erectile Unpredictability and the Sex Script 244
Chapter 23 Delayed Ejaculation and the Sex Script 256
Chapter 24 Early Ejaculation and the Sex Script 260
Chapter 25 Porn and the Sex Script 273
Chapter 26 Trauma and the Sex Script 278
Chapter 27 Pain and the Sex Script 284
Chapter 28 Gender Dysphoria and the Sex Script 287
Chapter 29 Exercises 293
Chapter 30 Talking It Out 310
Conclusion: Into Your Sexual Element 318
Acknowledgments 320
Notes 323
Index 336
About the Author 352