Stepmother: A Memoir

by Marianne Lile

Overview

Stepmother tells the story of Marianne Lile, who met a man, fell in love, got married, and arrived home from the honeymoon with a new label: stepmom. It was a role she initially embraced—but she quickly discovered she was alone in a difficult situation, with no handbook and no mentor. Here, Lile describes the complexities of the stepmom position, in a family and in the community, and shares her experience wearing a tag that is often misunderstood and weighed down by the numerous myths in society. Candid and poignant, Stepmother is a story of love and like, resentments and exasperation, resignation and hope—and a story, ultimately, of family.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781631520907
Publisher:	She Writes Press
Publication date:	09/27/2016
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	240
File size:	3 MB

About the Author

Marianne Lile lives in Seattle, WA. She has been a stepmother and mother of three children for over twenty years. This is her first book.

Table of Contents

Prologue A Family Portrait 1

Chapter 1 First Comes Love 3

Chapter 2 Our Town-Not a Stage Play 22

Chapter 3 Blend But Do Not Overmix 36

Chapter 4 Resolutions 43

Chapter 5 Circling 54

Chapter 6 Running Laps 76

Chapter 7 Our Families (Mine) 108

Chapter 8 Our Families (His) 115

Chapter 9 Labels and Definitions 123

Chapter 10 The Exercise Called Parenting 128

Chapter 11 Behind Closed Doors 147

Chapter 12 The Mother 155

Chapter 13 Changes 166

Chapter 14 Our Families (HERS) 186

Chapter 15 Our Kids 195

Chapter 16 Marriage 205

Epilogue Between the Lines 215

Editorial Reviews

2021 Next Generation Indie Book Awards:Winner in Motivational
2021 Next Generation Indie Book Awards: Finalist in Self-Help (Non-Fiction)
15th Annual National Indie Excellence Awards:Finalist in Self-Help: General
2020 Chanticleer International Book Awards: Winner in Mind & Spirit
2020 Chanticleer International Book Awards: Finalist in Instructional & Insightful Non-Fiction

“1 of 8 Best Books on Parenting in 2016” —Caring.com
"This is a genuine love story that thoughtfully considers all the ways real-world obstacles conspire against a simple romance. A beautiful examination of a family and the sometimes-fragile ligatures that bind its members.” —Kirkus Reviews, selected by Indie Editors as a review in the Oct 2016 issues
“As it wends from battling resentment to persevering to redefining the foundations of family, this memoir is an emotionally raw celebration of motherhood and all its forms.” —Working Mother, "21 New Books to Fall for This Autumn"
”Stepping into the role of motherhood is the bravest venture of any woman’s life — but taking on the role of stepmother requires even thicker skin . . . Readers will be left with a renewed and redefined understanding of motherhood and a substantially deeper respect for it.” —Brit+Co
"...A straight-shooting, no holds barred description of life as a stepmom and I defy anyone not to get drawn in and hooked, not to experience a whole range of emotions. And I defy anyone who isn’t from a blended family not to sit up and take note, to start realizing that a stepmom is still a mom, still a big part of a family and, above all, she is a human being who deserves respect." —Readers' Favorite, five stars

From the Publisher

2016-09-07
A debut memoir offers a poignant meditation on the joys and challenges of being a stepmother. When Lile met her future husband, she was a lobbyist for a nurses association and he was the state representative from the 39th district of Snohomish County in Washington. Their romance started haltingly, but once Lile finally agreed to go out with Art, it quickly blossomed into something of real substance. There were hurdles, however: Art was still married to his wife, Vicki, though the two were separated, and he had two children from that relationship. Still, Lile and Art pressed on and decided to wed, though Vicki, sometimes resentfully, made the divorce proceedings arduous. Those inconveniences portended the kinds of problems Lile would recurrently encounter, the ineluctable pitfalls attached to the blended family. She moved into a house Art built with his ex-wife. Because Lile was unemployed, she was immediately thrust into the daily duties of stepmotherhood, shepherding Arts kidsnow hers tooabout town in her car. The author experienced a short grace period characterized by polite awkwardness, but that eventually gave way to emotional conflict and an identity crisis. It was not immediately clear what role she played on Christmas or if she should be recognized on Mothers Day. A community unfamiliar with Lile all but shunned her; Vicki could be territorial and curt. Lile and Art eventually had a child of their own, further complicating the household dynamic. And when Arts two kids from his first marriage reached adolescence, their natural rebelliousness further challenged Liles goal of domestic harmony. The author sensitively and candidly discusses emotionally wrenching topics with a lighthearted touch. She quickly discovered that being a stepmother was both a dauntingly difficult and unsung role: There is no ceremony for stepparents. No stepmom shower. No waiting for the official papers as you would for an adoption. No party balloons. Its impressive how generous she is recounting her strugglesshe never surrenders herself to bitter recrimination or uses her remembrance to settle old scores. And Lile is refreshingly self-critical, openhandedly anatomizing her own foibles. This is a genuine love story that thoughtfully considers all the ways real-world obstacles conspire against a simple romance. A beautiful examination of a family and the sometimes-fragile ligatures that bind its members.

Kirkus Reviews