Stop Bedwetting in Seven Days: A simple step-by-step guide to help children conquer bedwetting problems

by Alicia Eaton

Overview

This best-selling book is an easy-to-read guide for parents, using the latest thinking from the fields of positive psychology, NLP and hypnotherapy to help children overcome bedwetting more easily. The seven-day programme also comes with downloadable hypnotic audio recording ‘Dry Beds Now’, which is filled with positive suggestions to make changing this unwanted habit easier. 

This fully revised and updated edition includes improvements to the system, thanks to years of results and research from parents, GPs and Consultant Paediatricians. In surveys over 70% of children achieved dry nights following this system, and 85% of parents would recommend this system to others.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781788601108
Publisher:	Practical Inspiration Publishing
Publication date:	08/15/2019
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	288
File size:	3 MB

About the Author

Alicia Eaton is a well-established Harley Street therapist who specialises in children’s emotional wellbeing. Her unique blend of psychology and practical parenting advice makes her the number one choice for parents seeking help for their children’s problems. From anxiety, fears and phobias to thumb-sucking, nail-biting, bedwetting and sleep problems, Alicia helps parents steer their children on the right path. Originally a Montessori teacher, Alicia ran her own school for five years, then went on to train at The Anna Freud Centre. She followed this up by qualifying as a Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist as well as going on to train in NLP with Paul McKenna and assisting him with his seminars for over 7 years.

Read an Excerpt

CHAPTER 1

Bedwetting What's it all about?

If you have a child that wets the bed, you might be feeling as if you are the only parent in the world whose child has this unwanted habit. It can be difficult to discuss the subject with family and friends, leaving you at a loss to understand why your child has failed to stop a habit that so many other children seem to get over with ease.

If this sounds familiar, then take comfort from knowing that more than 750,000 children in the UK accidentally wet their beds at night. Bedwetting still occurs on most nights in 15% of all 5-year-olds and is still a problem for 3% of all 15-year-olds. The numbers are just an estimate, of course, because bedwetting is not a subject that parents are happy to discuss openly. In many cases, it isn't even a subject that is talked about within the family.

The truth is that millions of children all over the world wet their beds or have to rely on protective pants every single night. If your child is one of them, it is very likely that there are at least one or two more in their class at school with the same problem.

You are not on your own and the good news is that bedwetting can be overcome.

For a number of years, I have been helping parents and their children to conquer this habit. I have seen the consequences of bedwetting – children suffer from a lack of confidence and low self-esteem, often failing to reach their full potential. Invitations to sleepovers with other children have to be refused, school trips and camps are met with fear and family holidays are not the relaxing times they are meant to be.

Let me put your mind at ease by reassuring you that bedwetting can be cured and the positive effects on your child will be amazing. Solving your child's bedwetting problem is much more than just achieving night-time dryness – it is about giving your child an increase in their level of self-confidence both at home and at school, which can lead to improved performance in the classroom and better interaction with their peers.

My reason for writing this book is that I believe the process I have successfully developed over a number of years can be easily learned by parents.

In order to solve problems, we often need to stop things happening. And the best way to do this is to think carefully about what you do want to happen and then plan how to be successful.

With this book, I've done the work for you and devised a plan that will enable you and your child to achieve that success. The effects on your child once they've got rid of the bedwetting habit will be life- changing. The effects on you, as a parent, will be equally liberating and rejuvenating!

Before we look at how my programme could help you and your child, let's have a look in more detail at what this problem is all about.

Bedwetting – also known as nocturnal enuresis – affects most children up to the age of 3 as the development of bladder function control can be a slow process. Bedwetting can continue to be quite common in children up the age of 8 and sometimes even into their teenage years.

Studies show that bedwetting children who are given professional help and advice are more likely to become dry than those who aren't. With one or two children in every 100 failing to achieve night-time dryness, it is vitally important to get help at the right time. Some children never quite 'grow out' of their bedwetting habit, often carrying the scars into adulthood. Prolonged childhood bedwetting can manifest itself in many ways, such as difficulties forming relationships and getting jobs, susceptibility to stress, anxiety and even depression.

HOW COMMON IS BEDWETTING?

Bedwetting is a common problem, especially in children under the age of 5. According to figures published by the British Medical Journal, at the age of 5 as many as 20 children in 100 will have difficulty in controlling their bladders at night-time.

By age 7, this figure has dropped to around 8 children in every 100, so we can see that most children will develop that vital mind/body link at around the age of 6 years.

It's at this age that children enter a new developmental phase. A good indicator of this happening is the loss of milk teeth. If your child still wets the bed at night and is starting to lose teeth, I'd recommend introducing this system – it shows it's the right time and will support their natural development.

The research goes on to show that by age 10, there are still 5 children in every 100 experiencing problems. So, not much progress is made with children who are left waiting for nature to take its course.

You may hear many reasons being put forward as possible causes of a bedwetting problem, such as:

• the size of the bladder

• a urinary tract infection

• lack of hormones to concentrate urine

• something that runs in families

• stress or anxiety

Because of the stigma attached to bedwetting, most people start their search for help through the Internet. Type 'bedwetting' into your computer and you will be given a number of different treatment options ranging from the use of electronic alarms, medication to concentrate the flow of urine or even antidepressants.

If your child is failing to get dry at night after the age of 5, your first port of call should be a visit to the doctor's surgery. It's best to rule out more serious underlying causes such as infections and even diabetes. All being well (and in the overwhelming majority of cases, it is), you'll probably be advised to wait for your child to 'grow out of it'.

I know so many parents find this frustrating. It's so open-ended, giving no clues as to how long you might have to wait, and they rarely give advice about how to tackle the problem in the meantime. Statistics in the British Medical Journal show around 15% of bedwetting children get dry at night each year – they are the ones who 'grow out of it'. So that leaves 85% who don't and to my mind, that's just too many. Why sit and wait, when there is something you can do about it?

It is true that most children do eventually grow out of the bedwetting habit, but around 1% of 18-year-olds remain stuck in this cycle of behaviour and can continue to wet the bed throughout their adult life. Helping your child to break this habit of behaviour at age 6, 7 or 8 is a lot easier than when they're ready to fly the nest and head off to university! By that age, their self-confidence will have taken a knock as they will have experienced problems with sleepover parties and school trips.

BEDWETTING ALARMS

If your child doesn't spontaneously grow out of their bedwetting habit, you'll be advised to try an alarm. These clip on to the child's pants or directly on to the bed sheet and buzz, vibrate or ring when wetness is detected. Alarms have differing levels of success and many parents tell me their child sleeps right through the noise the alarm makes and wakes up everyone else in the house instead, including siblings. I am not against the use of alarms, but it's best to be aware that initially the alarm is for the parent, whose job is to quickly go to the child on hearing the alarm, get them up out of bed and guide them to the toilet. It can take quite a while (three months) for your child to respond to the alarm themselves and be quick enough to stop wetting the bed completely.

If alarms are not successful, children may be prescribed medication or drugs to concentrate their urine and, in extreme cases, they will be offered antidepressants.

Our bodies release a hormone while we sleep and this helps to concentrate our urine. When children struggle to control their bladders at night, it's often assumed that an absence of the hormone is the cause of this. Doctors, however, do tell me that there is no definitive test to check whether this is the case in each particular child and so the use of a drug called Desmopressin – a synthetic hormone that mimics the action of the real hormone – is really a 'best guess'.

It should solve the problem pretty much immediately, if it's going to work at all, but I have come across children who have been taking it for many months, and some even for years, without achieving dry nights – it can still be a hit-and-miss affair. After this time, it's very likely that it's not going to work at all and if your child is in this situation, I would recommend a return visit to the practitioner who prescribed it for you, with a view to stopping it altogether.

Some children will be told they have 'twitchy' or irritable bladders and if your child is one of these, they will probably also have trouble during the daytime with frequent visits to the toilet and urge incontinence too. The antidepressant imipramine is commonly prescribed to help relax the muscles of the bladder. To be honest, I found it quite shocking when I first discovered this, as there are better ways of relaxing different parts of the body – namely, through the power of the mind.

It's also important to note that if your child is using medication on rare occasions only, such as sleepover parties and school trips, then they should be aware of the need to restrict fluids in the evening. Your child has to be responsible enough to police themselves and refuse drinks (perhaps tricky to do if they are at a party) or you will have to inform the host so they can keep an eye on them. Otherwise the medication may cause side effects and it's best to be aware of these.

I know that each of these methods have differing levels of success and many parents do say that the alarms or medication have worked for their child. I am always pleased to hear this, for I know the stress, anxiety and problems with social development that this miserable habit creates for children – so a win is a win.

However, in my experience of helping children with a bedwetting condition, these methods often only manage the problem in the short term rather than cure it for good and around 70% of children will go back to their old habits and behaviours after two to three months. I helped one couple who had tried three different alarms, each of which had terrified their child, before consulting their family doctor who prescribed medication to reduce the flow of urine, only it never did. This process went on for nearly two years before they brought their child to see me. Two years – that's a lot of wet sheets and pyjamas!

I believe a better solution to this problem is one that starts 'from within' rather than from some sort of external crutch.

Just like a smoker who quits cigarettes with the aid of nicotine replacement gum, or an overweight person who loses weight by drinking diet shakes instead of eating proper food, the problem may appear to have been solved, but quickly returns once the crutch is taken away.

Only changes made on the 'inside' can be guaranteed to produce long-lasting results on the 'outside'.

I'd also like to encourage parents to try my behavioural change method before going down the road of seeking medical intervention.

Not only will it save our NHS a vast amount of money, but doctors and nurse practitioners are hugely in favour of my programme because it educates and informs parents so they can take appropriate steps to help their child.

This system will help your child develop self-awareness and recognise that it is indeed possible to fix one's own problems and be successful. This is such an important life skill and so many children who have followed my programme have gone on to use the same methods to help them with their exams or sporting achievements.

There's a complex coordination that needs to take place between the nerves and the muscles of the bladder and, more often than not, a delay in this happening is what holds children back.

New neural pathways or connections need to be made in the brain in order to achieve night-time dryness and I'm going to show you how easy it can be to speed this process up.

TEENAGERS

If you're reading this and have a teenager who still wets the bed at night, please don't despair. Over the years, I have worked with many teenagers in my Harley Street practice – most of which have been referred to me by hospital consultants. Having undergone all the treatment and investigations available, be it scans, medications, alarms, etc., they're sent to me as a last resort.

I don't think it's a coincidence that most of these teenagers fix their problem after one or two sessions with me.

So what is it that I do differently? I know that I'm not a genius, I'm not special and I don't have a magic wand, but it helps to have a positive mindset when tackling this problem and certain techniques that help to put the past in the past. When you can step out from the shadow of your disappointments, exciting changes can begin to take place.

IS IT CAUSED BY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS?

For many years, it was assumed that bedwetting was triggered by anxiety or emotional problems and this encouraged many parents to keep even more quiet about the problem. Fortunately, we live in more enlightened times now and there's a greater awareness about the fact that we all suffer ups and downs in our emotional well-being, so discussing these matters is so much easier.

In the 15 years that I've been seeing children with bedwetting, I have found the overwhelming majority of children to be happy, well-adjusted, performing well at school and have great friends. Their only problem is being stuck with a bedwetting habit that they never grew out of. It's a habit, nothing more, and it's referred to as 'primary enuresis'.

Of course, there are downsides to being a bedwetting child and it does cause embarrassment and anxiety for most of them, but this occurs as a result of the problem and not the other way around.

In fewer cases, there can be a sudden onset of bedwetting. If your child has been dry at night for several months or even years and starts wetting the bed again, this can be caused by an emotional upset such as a change at home, family illness or stress with schoolwork. This is usually temporary and not the same as an ongoing bedwetting problem and is referred to as 'secondary enuresis' – the bedwetting is not the primary source of the problem. The best way to solve the wetting problem is to offer support and help for the primary problem.

As a parent, you will probably be able to tell the difference between a behaviour that's habit-based and one that's triggered by something else. Go with your instincts but monitor the situation carefully and ask for a second opinion if you're not sure.

CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

I'm often asked if my programme is suitable for children with conditions such as Down's syndrome, autism, dyslexia or dyspraxia. I'm pleased to say that I have been contacted by many parents of children with special needs, whose children have achieved success after being told by other health professionals that it simply would never happen. However, as I know you'll already know, every child is unique so it's not possible to predict an exact outcome, but there's certainly no need to assume that your child can't be helped. You can read detailed testimonials from the parent of an older child with Down's syndrome and another who was born with hypospadias, on my website.

CHAPTER 2

Understanding Habits and Behaviours

GETTING INTO THE HABIT

In the overwhelming majority of bedwetting cases, the cause is simply habit. Somehow over the years, your child got into a habit of wearing pull-up pants or similar absorbent protection and just never learnt how to stay dry all night. It's as simple as that.

And then you found yourselves caught in that 'catch-22' situation: never quite confident enough to stop using absorbent pants (after all, think about the embarrassment an accident would cause if your child is staying away from home) – but at the same time never quite giving your child's mind the opportunity to allow the neurological pathways to wire themselves up and create that 'autopilot'.

It's a common enough problem and in fact, it's the reason why more and more children are beginning to suffer from night-time bedwetting problems than ever before. Have you noticed how the supermarket shelves are increasingly stocking night-time 'pull-up' protective pants for teenagers up to the age of 15?

Twenty or so years ago these just did not exist to the same extent. Make no mistake, the manufacturers are more than happy to keep on making these in all sorts of fancy designs and colours to keep your child happy. But I believe these may well be the cause of the problem, rather than the solution. As the range of products available to help bedwetting children broadens – dry-night pants, bed mats, protective covers for duvets, waterproof inner liners for sleeping bags – the more this normalises the problem and keeps us stuck in our ways. I often wonder whether communities living in the wilds of Africa have as many children as we do suffering from irritable, small bladders that can't cope with hanging on to urine all night long. Somehow I suspect they're more in tune with their bodies.

PAST GENERATIONS

Quite a few of the bedwetting problems parents encounter today are a result of lifestyle changes that have taken place in our society and the changes in our toilet-training methods in general.

(Continues…)

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Excerpted from "Stop Bedwetting in Seven Days"
by .
Copyright © 2019 Alicia Eaton.
Excerpted by permission of Practical Inspiration Publishing.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Introduction,
1 Bedwetting: What's It All About?,
2 Understanding Habits and Behaviours,
3 Creating Change with Hypnotherapy and NLP,
4 Getting Started: How to Follow This Programme,
5 The Final Countdown,
6 The Golden Rules,
7 Before We Begin,
8 Day 1: My New Future,
9 Day 2: Mind Over Body,
10 Day 3: Close That Gate,
11 Day 4: Pump Up The Volume,
12 Day 5: Programming Your Sat Nav,
13 Day 6: Booking a Wake-Up Call,
14 Day 7: Overcoming Doubts,
15 Day 8 and Beyond,
16 Frequently Asked Questions,
About the Author,
Also By Alicia Eaton,