Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (And Everything in Between)

Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (And Everything in Between)

by Lauren Graham


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780425285190
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication date: 10/03/2017
Pages: 240
Sales rank: 21,286
Product dimensions: 5.20(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.63(d)

About the Author

Lauren Graham is an actor, writer, and producer best known for her roles on the critically acclaimed series Gilmore Girls and Parenthood. She is also the New York Times bestselling author of Someday, Someday, Maybe. Graham has performed on Broadway and appeared in such films as Bad Santa, Because I Said So, and Max. She holds a BA in English from Barnard College and an MFA in acting from Southern Methodist University. She lives in New York and Los Angeles.

Read an Excerpt

Fast Forward
Some of the most exciting things that happened in my life took place before I turned six years old. I was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, which is awesome right there, but three weeks later, before I even had time to work on my tan, we moved to Japan. JAPAN. The home of my most favorite food ever: mashed peas. Well, that was probably my favorite food back then; what a waste, since I could have been eating spicy tuna rolls with extra wasabi. Damn you, Baby Lauren, and your infantile palate! Well, to be fair, you were an infant. Sorry I yelled.
In Tokyo, we lived with my grandmother for a while, and I had a Japanese nanny, or uba—which, incidentally, translates to “milk mother,” something I just found out by looking it up. (Hold, please, while I call my therapist.) Her name was Sato-san, and I loved her, and as a result, my first word was in Japanese. It was o-heso. You might think that’s Japanese for “mommy” or “daddy,” but no, o-heso is Japanese for “belly button,” which I think already proves I am a very unusual, deep, and contemplative person and there’s really nothing left to say, thank you for buying this book, the end.
Wait, a few more things. My mother, the daughter of missionaries, had grown up in Japan and spoke fluent Japanese. She was also incredibly smart and beautiful, a combination that led to my grandmother holding me while we watch my mother, who is on television! Back when there were just three channels in America, and maybe even fewer in Tokyo, and an air of mystery surrounding the whole thing—not like today, when the statistical probability of not at some point stumbling onto your own reality show is inconceivably low. Television had only recently been invented then, and there she was actually on it, and I was so little I was probably just thinking about mashed peas again. Or, more likely, my favorite subject: belly buttons.
In related news, apparently on some GikiWoogle-type page of mine, I am quoted as saying, “Belly buttons are important.” Which, while obviously sort of true, medically speaking, taking into account the life-giving properties of the umbilical cord, was also clearly a joke. Yet I can’t tell you how many times during an interview a journalist gets that somber I’m-going-in-for-the-kill look I love so much and asks me, with knitted-brow faux sincerity: “Do you really think belly buttons are important?” Let me clear the air once and for all: um, no, I do not. Although this book isn’t very long yet and I’ve already talked about belly buttons quite a bit. Damn you, tabloid journalists! You wise Truth Uncoverers! Again, sorry—the yelling must stop.
So, anyway, there she was, my mother, on the largest television available at the time, which was roughly the size of a Rubik’s cube. Also, check out her dope sixties Priscilla Presley look! Her ability to speak the language as a non-native was so unusual at the time that she was asked to appear on a Japanese daytime talk show.
My parents weren’t together very long. They hadn’t known each other well when they decided to get married, and then they had me right away, when they were both just twenty-two years old, and—well, that about sums it up. They were very, very young. At the time, my mom was also trying to pursue a career as a singer, and it was decided I should stay with my dad. They parted as friends, and my father made the obvious next choice, something we’d all probably do in this situation: he moved us to the Virgin Islands, where we lived on a houseboat. I slept in a bunk-bed-type thing that was also the kitchen. I was picked up for nursery school by the bus, which was actually a motorboat. We moved there because . . .
You know what? I don’t remember exactly. Let’s call my dad and ask him. He probably won’t pick up because he’s on the East Coast, and it’s a Saturday in the springtime, so unless it’s pouring down rain, he’s out playing golf. But I’ll give you a visual just in case, so you too can play Call My Dad at home!
I know, isn’t it a shame we look nothing alike? Okay, let’s see if he’s home. Ring, ring, ring, ring. I told you. He’s probably not—
Dad: Hello?
Me: Oh, hi! I didn’t think you’d be home.
Dad: It’s raining here.
Me: Well, then, that explains it. Hey, remind me—why did we live on a houseboat that time?
Dad: Who is this?
Me: You have other children you lived on a houseboat with?
Dad: No, I have other children who call me more.
Me: Dad, please. I call you all the time. So this is for the book, and—
Dad: Is this going to be another befuddled father character, like in your last book?
Me: Dad, I wouldn’t call that character befuddled in general. He’s just a little befuddled by technology.
Dad: Wait—what did you say? I couldn’t hear you. I just hit one of these dumb phone buttons wrong.
Me: Um, yeah. I was just saying that the father character in my first novel—the New York Times bestseller Someday, Someday, Maybe, published by Ballantine Books, an imprint of Random House, and now available in paperback—is not exactly befuddled, and anyway, he’s only a little bit you.
Dad: Why are you talking like that?
Me: Like what? I was just thinking about how Christmas is right around the corner, but no matter how you choose to celebrate the holidays, books in general make great gifts!
Dad: Like that. Like you’re selling things to an audience. Are you on Ellen right now?
Me: Dad, I wouldn’t be calling you from the set of Ellen.
Dad: Oh, oh, I’m fancy, I live in Hollywood, where people aren’t allowed to call their fathers from the set of the Ellen show.
Me: Dad, please. Why did we live on the houseboat again?
Dad: Well, I was working for that congressman, and the hours were long, and I’d drop you off in the morning and not see you until after 6:00 p.m., and I felt bad about that. I wasn’t sure I was on the right career path anyway. Also, I was sort of seeing this girl—you remember the one who owned the horse? Well, she lived there off and on, and I thought I’d go there too, and write, and . . .
I’m going to interrupt my father here (well, actually, he’s still talking, so shhh—don’t tell him). But I have to explain to you that, as a kid, I thought my father never dated anyone at all until he met and married my stepmother. It wasn’t until years later that I figured out the young ladies who sometimes came around may have been a wee bit more than the “cat sitter,” that “nice woman I play tennis with,” and the “girl who owned the horse.” And I don’t blame them. I mean, who wouldn’t want to “cat-sit” for this guy?
By the way, can we talk about the unnecessary thickness of children’s belts of the 1970s? I mean look at the— Oops, my dad’s still on the phone!
Dad: . . . and anyway, she knew these people at the marina in St. Thomas.
Me: So did we, like, sail around the island and stuff?
Dad: Oh, no. The engine didn’t work on the boat.
Me: The engine didn’t . . .? We lived on a giant floating bathtub that went nowhere?
Dad: It was a strange place, I’ll admit, that marina— but friendly. Very bohemian. Everybody there was sort of dropping out from society, which we were too, in a way—for weeks after we’d left D.C., I’m pretty sure my mother still thought I worked on Capitol Hill. But I got to spend more time with you, which was the goal. It was beautiful there. We drove around a lot and went to the beach. It probably seems strange to you now, but it was a 1970s thing to do, I guess. And we had fun.
(A pause as we both reminisce.)
Me: You did a lot for me, Dad. I love you.
Dad: I love you too, kid.
(Another pause.)
Dad: Who is this again?

Table of Contents

Introduction 3

Fast Forward 7

Sweat Equity 25

You Can't Be Vegan Just for Ellen 43

There Is Only One Betty White, or: Paper Towels, a Love Story 55

What It Was Like, Part One 65

Before My REI Card: Some Thoughts on Being Single 89

Labor Days 103

Judge Not, Lest Ye Be a Judge on Project Runway: My Life in Fashion 113

Someday, Someday, Maybe You'll Believe My Novel Wasn't Completely Autobiographical 125

Kitchen Timer 141

Parenthood Is the Best Neighborhood 149

Look Up! A Note From Your Friend Old Lady Jackson 155

What It Was Like, Part Two 165

Acknowledgments 207

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Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (and Everything in Between) 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 27 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I loved the gilmore girls and also someday, someday, maybe. I wish this book had been longer - its only 163 pages and although I liked it I feel a little cheated. She is delightful and I like her sense of humor. I was really looking forward to the release of this book and I'm a little disappointed in its lack of depth - its just sort of glosses over her career.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I will admit that I mostly bought this to read about her experiences with Gilmore Girls. However, while my favorite stories were the ones about Gilmore Girls, I found myself devouring the entire book. I enjoyed reading about what she went through when she was just starting out, feeling horrified for her about one particular audition she had to do, and laughing at her humor and wit. This book Is a quick and enjoyable read.
bumblebee23 More than 1 year ago
Such a fun book to listen to! I felt like I was hanging out with an old friend! It made me tear up, but even better it made me smile and laugh a lot!!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Ok written, pretty boring read
EmJay More than 1 year ago
If you're interested in Lauren Graham's story, I *highly* recommend listening to the audiobook. As a lover of "Gilmore Girls", "Parenthood", and "Someday, Someday, Maybe", I was really excited for LG's newest endeavor. And listening to her read it to me was such a joy. While I'm not sure there was anything particularly revelatory about this book, it was so nice to hear Lauren Graham talk about all the different phases of her life. She is also truly witty and the jokes had me laughing out loud more times than I can count. I particularly enjoyed the chapter about being single and her relationship with Peter Krause. She discusses the ridiculous obsession with Hollywood stars and "who they're dating now!" She owns the fact that being single isn't weird or something to be embarrassed by, but it's normal to want something more. The discussion of her relationship with Krause was sweet and loving without being over-the-top cutesy and sentimental. Overall, if you're a fan of Lauren Graham, I have no doubt you will enjoy reading/listening (AGAIN--highly recommend the audiobook) to her story.
Blondeness128 9 months ago
Lauren Graham's autobiography is a great read! She is a very warm and inspirational person. The book has a great parallel between her own experiences within the acting and writing world as well as life lessons and bits of advice for readers that are very comforting. Reading the book felt like having a conversation with your best friend reflecting on life and experiences in a warm and kind way.
Anonymous 11 months ago
I am happy this book exists, that is all!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
It’s absolutely perfect!!! An amazing and entertaining book for sure! I highly recommend it!
Tschertz More than 1 year ago
I mainly bought this book to read about her experiences and thoughts on Gilmore girls, however, I ended up really enjoying the entire book. I enjoyed learning about Lauren Graham aside from Gilmore Girls and really admire her as a person and actor. She has a wonderful writing style and this book was a quick read.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Reading this book was like sitting in Luke’s diner and having coffee with Loralai - more fun than I could possibly imagine! Lauren Graham IS Loralai but even funnier and cuter and - it felt like the chicken and the egg - which came first? Thank you, Lauren, for bringing it all to life - “Gilmore Girls “ was my daughter and my “bonding” show - we will always love you and all of Stars Hollow, including Carol King and her fabulous music!
MamaHendo More than 1 year ago
Who doesn’t love Lorilai Gilmore or Sarah Braverman? Lauren starts the book back in her childhood and wraps it up on the last day of shooting the Gilmore Girls reboot “A Year in the Life”. I watched every episode of Parenthood as it aired and I admit, I was late to the Gilmore Girls party but thanks to OnDemand/Netflix I fell in love with the series a few years ago. It’s a quick, quirky read written as if you were having a conversation with Lauren or hearing her inner monologue. I had a really good laugh at one of her summer auditions memories back in college where she describes singing “Slap that Bass” (supposed to be pronounced like “vase”, not the way Lauren was pronouncing the word with gusto) to the laughter of the audience watching only to be told when she finished that this song was not written about a fish. Now, how do we convince Netflix that we need more Rory and Lorelai?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Very entertaining
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book
BookWorm221 More than 1 year ago
I’ve been a fan of Lauren’s since the Gilmore Girls days and after watching those 4 episodes on Netflix I really really wanted to read this book. She is very funny in the book and I kept hearing her voice when I was reading the book, it was just a really fun experience. I knew next to nothing about her life growing up and also about her time in Parenthood (I have now watched every episode) and of course her time in Gilmore Girls, as a fan of the show it felt incredible to get these little tidbits of her time there and what it was like filming the last episode.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love Lauren and thought she was wonderful in Gilmore Girls and Parenthood. However, I think she should stick to acting. For the most part this book is written poorly and most of it is downright borig! Near the end, where she talks about making the last Gilmore Girls, it was fun to read about her feelings as she wrote them down in a journal she kept during the filming. This part was good, but certainly not worth paying $15! Check it out for FREE from Libraries-To-Go for your e-reader.
KateUnger More than 1 year ago
Talking As Fast As I Can is a rather interesting celebrity memoir. Instead of being organized chronologically, it has a more theme-based organization. And it’s kind of a mesh of memoir, advice book, and essay collection. Lauren shares her history as it relates to her acting career, and as promised she talks about her time on Gilmore Girls, both the original series and the reprisal. But she also shares relationship advice and tips for those wishing to get into acting. And then there are some bizarre antidotes that almost resemble essays, i.e. one about electronic devices for children. This book didn’t have as much humor as some other celebrity memoirs, but I love Lauren Graham’s sense of humor, so I really loved all of the humor that was in this book. I am a huge fan of Parenthood, so I loved when she talked about that show as well (which was not very much, sadly). I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this book, but it’s not something I would listen to again, and I don’t think you have to rush out and read it. I did promptly watch the Gilmore Girls reunion episodes on Netflix right after I finished this book though because I had to know what she meant about the last three words in the series. And I am now re-watching Parenthood on Netflix because I wanted to know what she meant about the style of dialogue in that show.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Awesome book
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am a long time fan of Gilmore Girls and Parenthood and thought this would be a great book to read. I was so disappointed. Save your money and don't buy it!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
CaptivatedRding More than 1 year ago
Knowing that I already love Girlmore Girls as much as I do, I knew that Talking As Fast As I Can would be an enjoyable read for me. I haven't read many autobiographies because I tend to get bored with them easily. But, Lauren Graham is just as funny without as a script as she is with one. This leads me to believe that her two favorite characters of mine--Sarah Braverman of Parenthood and Lorelai Gilmore of Gilmore Girls--have as much of Lauren Graham as I assumed they did. I could almost hear Graham's voice inflections as she jokes and reminisces about her time on Gilmore Girls. It was a lot like getting an extra episode of my favorite show. There was more to Talking As Fast As I Can, however. I enjoyed the peak into Graham's past as she shares her journey on how she came to be the entertainment virtuoso that she is now. I was able to laugh out loud at her hilariously endearing hiccups along the way. I haven't yet read her Someday, Someday, Maybe. Even knowing that it's not a biographical look at Graham's life, I'm eager to read it just to get another morsel of Lauren Graham's winning charisma.
JulesAA More than 1 year ago
I'm a big fan of Lauren Graham, and this book is so amazing! I would highly recommend to all -- ESPECIALLY if you're a Gilmore Girls fan!
miztrebor More than 1 year ago
I’m one of the biggest Gilmore Girls fans out there. In a big way, this is because of Lauren Graham’s character, Lorelai Gilmore. And because of this, I picked up Graham’s novel Someday, Someday, Maybe when it came out. I enjoyed it. Graham isn’t just a talented actor, she’s a great writer. When I heard about Talking as Fast as I Can, I got even more excited than I did for Graham’s novel. Turns out, my excitement was warranted. Graham’s fiction is great, but her non-fiction is even better. One of my favorite parts of this book was where Graham reacts to each of the Gilmore Girls seasons. It was great to get the actor’s own thoughts on what I’ve watched dozens of times over the last fifteen or so years. And the section where Graham discusses all that was involved in making Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life happen, I gained a better appreciation for just what went into its creation. But the Gilmore Girls and Parenthood parts of this book weren’t all that made it what it is. Getting to hear about how Someday, Someday, Maybe came to be makes me want to read it again. And hearing about Graham’s early life was also a reason I wanted to read this book in the first place. Being part memoir, part essays on various projects and key issues, this collection is a great read on many levels. I only wish it were longer. I want more from Graham. But I’m happy to wait for another novel or a similar non-fiction book. I’d read anything that comes out. It’s not just my inner fan-girl talking. Graham backs it up with her her writing.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Didn't really like it. Wish I hadn't spent the money
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you love Lorelai Gilmore you will love reading about Lauren Graham's life in her own words. It feels like you are reading a book by Lorelai. I love both and adored this book. She is everyone's best girlfriend. Funny, down to earth, sweet, happy, truthful. Thank you Lauren for writing this book and I am with you on the cliffhanger question! I agree.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago