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Overview
Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781667824963 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | BookBaby |
| Publication date: | 01/29/2022 |
| Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 278 |
| File size: | 891 KB |
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CHAPTER 1
He had no one to blame but himself. Coleman lay on the floor, a glass of whisky, neat, steadied on his firm stomach. His arm stretched up supporting his head from the cold hardwood floor. His t-shirt still soaked from a workout intended to forget her. Yet still, Lili was on his mind. Coleman watched the punching bag swinging back and forth; the chain that held it cast a queer shadow on the ceiling. The orange glow of the setting sun filled his studio apartment located conveniently above his brother's pub. He should set sail for the Emerald Isle, but she was in his veins now. Not even an ocean could change that.
Coleman Kavanagh had made some hasty decisions in the past, some of which had permanently changed every facet of his life. The war played its part in distorting his perspective. There was no doubt about that. It wasn't long after his return that the symptoms began. Marnie Hammel, a physician in the Royal Army, diagnosed him ... pavor nocturnus, night terrors. Not to be confused with your traditional run-of-the-mill nightmare. A night terror comes with no warning. You are wide-awake and trapped inside your deepest fear, frozen in time.
This is the definition of dread. He expected his shadow-self playing out some drama as the dark angel laid claim to the space in his room. Most people didn't know there was a difference between a nightmare and a night terror and if anyone ever had a choice between the two, a nightmare would be the preferable option.
Dr. Hammel had been intrigued by Coleman's case. He was flat out handsome. His squared jaw line framed the rare flash of a boyish grin that was further enhanced by his haunting green eyes. You would never believe that he would have any medical issues much less be terrorized by a single thing.
Fact; Coleman Kavanagh hated the night. He tried to face his dark angel the way Lili had. He knew that if Dr. Christoff shoved that needle in her veins, during her intervention, the lines of communication would be broken and she would have to start all over again. Lili would be doomed to face it again, in some other way, in some other venue. She was safe at the brownstone. He couldn't have asked for a better place for Lili's battle to commence. She laid down her sword; she was so transparent, so honest. Coleman could never do that. He held his secrets pretty close, his armor securely fastened so no one could get in. But he couldn't lie to Lili and say that the war hadn't done something to him. That fact was evident in Sri Lanka when she had innocently put on one of his camouflage shirts to sleep in. Coleman wasn't going to offer any information and Lili wasn't one to pry.
Coleman and Lili were so alike, sufferers' in silence, doomed by a fate they couldn't control. Lili's life was different now. She had outgrown her fanciful ideas of love. Stripped to her empty core, benevolence was her benefactor, and her legacy was her priority. Yet, much like Coleman, Lili would have difficulty getting him out of her mind ...
"You've been avoiding me," Coleman said, as he held Lili close.
"You always say that and it's not true." Lili avoided his green penetrating eyes. "You know how busy I've been with this wedding. Besides, you've been gone for 6 weeks. I almost forgot what you taught me."
Lili wore a pair of jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. Her golden brown hair flowed over her shoulders. She had a natural rosy color in her cheeks and a gloss on her lips. Her wrists were covered with leather-braided bracelets that Sri had made for her with Buddha charms and hearts hanging off them. The only indication of her millionaire status was the two-carat diamond studs that sat perfectly on her earlobes. They actually belonged to her mother and Lili wore them every day.
"I guess I should consider myself lucky that you need me for something. Even if it is so you can dance with another man at a wedding," he pulled her closer.
"James?" Lili raised a brow.
"I don't care if he's gay," Coleman closed his eyes, "he's still a man."
Lili giggled. Her laugh was a sound that penetrated his bones and made him feel alive.
Lili would have to hold her breath to circumvent the cinnamon and amber she had grown so fond of. She would have to let go of him to evade his warmth, her perfect solitude.
"How is it that you know how to ballroom dance, anyway?"
"Ma insisted. She was determined to make gentlemen out of us." He completed a turn and pulled her back to him, dipping her afterwards.
"Liam too? Your mother is a wise woman." Her hair dangled in waves as she waited patiently for him to lift her from the dip.
"Ya," he scooped her back into a twirl. "I didn't start lessons quite as young as you but I worked hard to please my mother."
"That's incredibly sweet. You must have a good relationship with your mom, then?"
"She's never led me wrong. I mean, look at me; I'm dancing with you. I thought I would have to be a contemporary dancer to do that."
Lili smiled at him and then looked over his shoulder. She was distracted by a female figure in the room that was swaying back and forth keeping time with the music. Lili knew Coleman's mother was still alive and he didn't have any sisters. The spirit refused to give her identity.
Coleman spun Lili into a twirl and ended with a dip. He had been teaching Lili to ballroom dance for months now, aside from his sudden and secretive departures from New York City. It was the best part of his day. He was suddenly submerged in a scent of vanilla and musk. Lili wasn't one to wear perfume. Instead she carried a scent just beneath her skin that changed with her mood. This was his particular favorite. It was intense, not light and airy like her other scents. Those were nice too. Like a clean fresh breeze that woke him up when she passed by. But this scent was something he only detected when they were close. He noticed it when Lili first kissed him on the elevator of the brownstone. The tequila caused her lapse in memory, but he never forgot it. Again, in Sri Lanka, her scent overwhelmed him, like it was telling him secrets about her.
"Keep my ballroom dancing under your hat, Lil. I don't need James, or worse, Keith finding out about this. God only knows what they'll do with this kind of information."
Lili laughed at the thought of the Kavanagh brothers performing on stage somewhere.
CHAPTER 2
Lili Wentworth was staring blankly out the train window. Katherine didn't notice her best friend lost in distant thought. She was too busy fidgeting with her computer so she could look at the seating chart once again. This was their last trip to New Jersey to make the final wedding arrangements.
Katherine's parents were gracious hosts, but Lili always stayed with Uncle Thomas when she was in New Jersey. Thomas was the closest thing Lili had to a father, and his wife Frances was very kind to Lili. Their home was the first place Lili lived after her parents died. They gave her emotional support and financial advice. Uncle Thomas was Lili's lawyer too. He was there to make every idea she had come to fruition, and Lili had great ideas, including turning their family farm in Tully, New York into a bed and breakfast, opening the 'James Henry Art Gallery,' and her latest venture: creating a record label called 'Brownstone Records.' "Uncle Thomas, I need to ask you something," Lili said, as they cut vegetables for dinner.
"You can ask me anything, Lili."
"I was wondering if you would reconsider letting me read the prophecy my father left you."
Thomas stopped peeling the zucchini and tried to look into his niece's eyes. Lili did not return his gaze. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing ..."
"Stop," Thomas took her hands, "What's going on?"
"I'm just going through a lot."
"Can you be more specific?" he asked.
Lili dried her hands. It was time to start being honest. "I'm going through a lot of emotions right now. I never knew a person could be jealous, angry, abandoned, and rejected all at once. I'm angry with my father and I have no idea why. I'm in love with Coleman and I shouldn't be. I'm trying to follow my heart and do what's best for everyone else at the same time. I just want to do the right thing."
"Following your heart does not mean doing what's best for everyone else. You must always remain true to your heart and as long as you are not trying to control anyone or change someone or force others to agree with you, you'll be fine. People may get hurt along the way. It is part of life. Just be honest and respectful. That's what your father would tell you."
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Lili returned to chopping the vegetables and then suddenly stopped. "What's everyone's damn hurry to express their feelings anyway? There is a lot on the line here."
"Like what?" Thomas chuckled at her subject change. He unwrapped the fresh pink salmon and began to squeeze a freshly cut lemon over it.
"Cole's future, for one." Lili took the lemon from her uncle and squeezed it in a bowl that she had prepared of freshly cut garlic, basil, parsley, salt, pepper and olive oil. "Use the rest of the lemon in here." Uncle Thomas smiled and took to his task. "And you know he is going to accept that I can't have children," Lili continued. "You and I both know how gracious and loving Cole will be about it. But years down the road he could have a change of heart. Coleman could decide a few years from now that having a child is the most important thing to him. People change, Uncle Thomas. What they desire and hope for and dream of, everything changes."
"Are you reading him? Is that where this is coming from, your intuition?"
"No, I can't read him," she mumbled. "He smells too good."
Thomas raised a brow.
"I mean he distracts me. I can't read anything when I'm around him. I've been having mostly dreams. He leaves me. He walks away. And I would just like to avoid it. Not just for me, Uncle Thomas, but for Grayson, and my friends, and for Cole. Everyone will be heartbroken. I can feel it. I just don't see the point in falling into each other's arms just to have him realize it was a mistake. Why would anyone take that kind of risk?"
"Because you dream prophetically I interpret this as a process you are going to have to trust." Thomas paused for a minute. "Hold on, I just realized I'm giving you your father's advice." He started to walk out of the kitchen, "I'll be right back."
Thomas returned with a neatly folded piece of paper in one hand and an envelope in the other. He handed it to Lili.
The blond angel was born under the moon and her life has always been written in the stars. As she overcomes her most vulnerable stages in waves of joy and grief the most painful lesson of all is separation. To overcome the illusion one must look within. Then, and only then will her Knight join her. Only he can accompany her in the Otherworld.
Thomas could see Lili was trying to sort it out. She had more questions than answers as prophecies usually conjure. He braced himself for her tears. Lili read the words over and over.
"You aren't yelling or crying." Thomas said.
"Of course not. I hardly know what any of it means, except for the joy and grief. That's the circle of life. You have no idea how happy I am that the emerald ring isn't a sign." She burst out laughing.
"Bravo, Lili. Your heart is much lighter than usual."
"Well, I was hoping for answers, Uncle Thomas, or at the very least some guidance."
"We all have to weed our gardens, Lili. Cole may in fact leave but that doesn't mean it won't work out. Have you thought that maybe Cole needs to experience the separation from you? Maybe you need to experience the separation from him so you can move on together without the fear of ever being apart."
"Maybe."
"We wouldn't be having this conversation if you didn't love him, sweetheart. It would be devastating to not acknowledge that openly with him."
"We all have to make sacrifices, Uncle Thomas."
"How can you sacrifice something you never had? You can't surrender to a love you haven't acknowledged. Don't kid yourself, Lili, that's just avoidance, and avoidance is based in fear." Lili slunk down in the kitchen chair and raked the hair from her face. "No one is asking you to be a martyr, Lili."
"I have a responsibility to the people in my life. I care about them. If they hurt, I hurt. I'd say I'm being more selfish than I am a martyr. But I get your point, Uncle Thomas." She sighed heavily, but then perked up instantly.
"Who is this Knight?" she said brightly, smoothing the paper with her hands.
"Ha! I don't know but I kept this prophecy out of Emmeline's hands for that reason," he waved his finger jokingly. "Your Aunt wouldn't rest until she found your 'Knight in shining armor'," Thomas laughed making air quotes with his hands.
"I don't think we're in the right century for that!"
St. John the Divine Cathedral was decorated with white roses. Katherine's gown was made of white silk, and Keith was dressed in a classic tuxedo. The paisley fabric of his suit added to his signature flair. The collar was deep blue silk and the jacket was in a slightly lighter blue and black paisley print. Gerard had worked on this garment personally and Emmeline could not have been more pleased with the results. It was clear that Keith was the stylish one in the relationship, but he didn't want to show up this bride. Keith was indie-rock and Katherine was classic-preppy. Emmeline was aware that she could put this girl in a paper sack and Katherine would still have looked like a princess.
Everyone dear to them was there to witness Keith and Katherine exchange vows. Lili watched the ghost of Rev. Quinn on the altar prepare communion as if it was his service. He blessed the bride and groom and stood proudly as they left the church.
Lili lingered in the church after everyone gone outside. Davin watched as Lili sat down in the first seat closest to the altar. The same altar she wept at when she had buried her beloved Terrence. Dr. Davin Christoff remembered it very well. He was her surgeon back then and he let Lili out of the hospital for the funeral. He watched the wounded ballerina on crutches make her way to the podium and give a beautiful speech in honor of her beloved Terrence.
St. John the Divine was the first place Lili went to after she overheard a conversation that changed everything for her. The insurance investigator was in Liam's office at the pub telling him and Coleman how Terrence had sacrificed his life to save Lili. Lili was remembering her conversation with Rev. Quinn that day.
"Do you think good people die and bad people have to live on earth?"
"No, I don't believe that," Quinn answered.
"Well, I know people don't die because they are bad, that's for sure. So it must be the latter."
"I think neither is true, Lili. I believe life unfolds as it should. I also believe that life regenerates."
"What if someone chooses for you and it's not what you wanted?"
"We are all affected every day by the choices of others. It is unavoidable. However, it is up to you to make the best out of it. Life will find a way...if you allow it."
Rev. Edward Quinlan, better known as Quinn, knew Lili from the day she was born and vowed to protect her. 'Eddie' had been her father's nemesis and ended up becoming his most trusted friend. He had beaten Andrew almost to death, and then chose to protect him fiercely with abounding love, all in the same lifetime. It was a journey few would dare to take, but Andrew Wentworth was not like anyone else. Lili would have more than one opportunity to love beyond the hurt. It was the only way she could live up to her legacy.
Rev. Quinn's shadowy figure continued to clean the altar, putting the wine away, and wiping down the chalice. It was a job for the altar boys, and they did their duty completely unaware that Quinn's spirit was working beside them.
"You really need to make peace with yourself and then you will find the God of your childhood again, when everything was easier. Before life challenged you and your spirit became a murky pool of uncertainty. Return to the place in your mind when you were young, and you believed that God loved you. It begins in a moment like this. When a woman faces her pain and her fear, and makes a choice to let go."
Lili stood up with a smile. How lucky she was to have known him. He guided her with such wisdom. Lili was about to turn and leave, when she felt a breeze around her. The hair on her arms stood up.
"Lili, there is something you should always remember when you think of your parents and Terrence ... the soul never dies."
"He's here, isn't he?" Davin whispered.
Lili reached for his hand, "Yes."
(Continues…)
Excerpted from "The Brownstone: Celtic Whispers"
by .
Copyright © 2017 Julie Brown.
Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
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